Patience

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.62.50
Current Song - Street Life (Herb Alpert)

One thing led to another, and that another led to a thought about patience.

I've been told that I have incredible patience, in the form of the "been there, done that" attitude.

A lot of that is a defense mechanism at work. I have seen many examples of where the slightest panic will turn into mania, and I've also witnessed the consequences of these manic moments. Therefore, you try to eliminate the root of the problem - which is supressing that slightest panic.

Having incredible patience can give the appearance of me either being boring or not caring at all about something. That's not reality.

Sully, the hero pilot who famously landed an airplane into the Hudson River, was calm in his communication messages to air traffic control. His messages almost seemed like monotone, especially when he stated "we're going to be in the Hudson."

One moment that tested my patience was my car accident on Route 26 north of Lacon in February 2012.

It was a snowy night and I was on my way to cover Wethersfield/Marquette girls basketball at the Varna Midland sectional. I barely went off and hit the gravel off of the road. Steering back onto the road, the momentum was too much and I was spinning on the pavement.

As I was doing a couple of 180-degree turns on the road, my first thought after the natural "Oh, shit ..." was this:

"Eventually the car will come to a stop at some point. No one's driving toward my direction."

When the thought of knowing that I was going to get off the road would come up, my thought after that was:

"My car will stop, but I don't know how. Prepare for the worst."

I immediately took my hands off of the steering wheel and went into a fetal position as best as I could from sitting in the driver seat. I let the car move around until it slowed to a stopping point. I felt a slight lean, but never flipped over. I went into the ditch and landed on my four wheels on a flat surface. I was silent the whole time. I wasn't awkward into the ditch (similar to an accident in Neponset a couple of years prior).

"Am I okay? I'm okay. A little back pain, but I can muscle it out."

I took a deep breath once I realized that I was on flat on all four wheels. Then I was silent for a few seconds.

"Okay."

Then I flipped on the emergency signals and got out of my car, cell phone in hand. Yes, I was able to walk freely on the surface. I was six and a half feet below the road and attempted to make the incline. I made it alright, and waved down the first car that approached. Told him my car went into the road and wondered if he knew how to get a hold of a Marshall County sheriff.

Adding to my patience involved silently telling myself each and every plan after one was done.

If I was okay, all was alright. The car is an inanimate object and there was a way to get home one way or another, because I knew that authorities existed and will be helpful. I then calmly arranged for my car to be removed and towed, and to be taken to Midland High School to cover my game. I was going to call my dad for a ride back home, and any backup plan would be discussed between the two of us.

I was dropped off at Midland by the sheriff and proceeded to cover the basketball game as if the accident never happened. Wethersfield beat Marquette in a game where the Lady Cru's top player was sidelined in the first couple of minutes. I didn't make any mention to anyone there that I was in a car accident, including the coaches that I was interviewing during the usual small talk.

Certainly this was a tale that could be told to the first person that you'd see. Turns out that my first interview was with Marquette's head coach. It would be absolutely foolish to mention anything about my misfortune when there was misfortune clouding the Lady Cru after the game: their season came to a sudden end, and the star player was in bad pain. After all, the game was about them and not about me.

As I was riding along with my dad, I was talking to my friend Bill on the phone. I mentioned that I was in a car accident, and his reaction was immediate panic and loud concern. (He had been involved in a much larger-scale accident coming back from a volleyball match at L-P). Then my dad's truck got rear-ended real hard on I-80 in Princeton, while I was talking to Bill.

My phone slipped from my hands and went under the seat. The phone was still on and I couldn't find it for a while. Meanwhile, Bill, at the other end of the phone, was panicking beyond belief. When I finally found my phone, I patiently told him what had happened. It kind of irked me a little that he was panicking more than I was - after all, I was the one actually involved in the car crash and not him.

I wrote and posted my article in usual time when I got home.

My car was at a shop in Henry and dad and I went down (in my Aunt Judy's car) to pick it up. The other semifinal of that sectional was that night between Annawan and Hinckley-Big Rock - two of my closest girls basketball teams that year in terms of friendship. I didn't want to miss that.

When I got home, I mentioned on Facebook that I was in a car accident on my way to Varna that night. Word reached my friends in Annawan and Hinckley. So when I walked into Midland High School the next night, Annawan's head coach broke a team conversation to ask me if I was alright. So did H-BR's when I made my way over there. While I appreciated the concern, I tried to play down my events as best as I could because this night wasn't about me.

One of Annawan's star sophomores was playing with a cold. One of Hinckley's star seniors saw her career end after four years as a player and many more before that as a manager. My misfortunes meant nothing compared to these, and I wanted to play down my ordeals and not mention it among these.

I did feel a bit too sore to cover the sectional championship game that Thursday between Annawan and Wethersfield, so I sent Bill down there to cover it.

***

You may have noticed that in my quoted dialogue that I did not use exclaimation points. I did not panic. I did not scream. I kept calm.

Other people in this situation would panic, scream and even cry. I didn't feel the need to do any of that.

However, if I had a woman in my life, and kids of my own, I probably wouldn't be as patient as I was that night. You live your life for them, and the thought of them living without you is the most dreadful thing you can think of.

It took me a little while to figure out why Bill was more emotional than I was during our phone conversation. He is married with three boys. I am single and never dated.

I can't wait for that day when I find true love. After that, I'll need to equip myself with that level of concern if I were to run into another ditch.