Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.52.90
Current Song - The Way (Fastball)
This seems familiar.
Since November of last year, I had seen control of my NISB website slipping away from me. I found the issue with the content side not too long ago and reversed it. I took back what was once mine and didn't let anyone take it away from me.
I won't be decieved like that again.
I'm at this same feeling when it comes to the Message Boards of the website.
I personally know of someone who is trying to blow up the message board, because he thinks he's God. It took me a while, but I finally figured him out and how he operates.
Everything was going great until nearly three years ago. The floodgates opened and the message board is filled with mildew. They say things have never been better on there. I beg to differ.
When long-time message board posters are telling me they are sick of the talk and walk away, this hurts. When coaches are telling me about people on a message board (including one coach during warmups before a STATE FINAL GAME), this really hurts.
They say posts have gone up. They have. However, the geography of the audience has whittled down to 1/8th of what I consider my coverage area. Even when I am trying in vain to expand the geographical reach of this website by gamers, features, etc. on areas that aren't popular on the message board.
What turns these people off are the antics of this new breed of message board posters; many of them are simply this one guy. I'm sick of playing Whack-A-Mole.
I have come to the conclusion that this is a coordinated effort to destroy my message board between him and several of his friends, some of which are trying to con me in on being their friends. (There is one instance where I'm suspecting where someone's involvement in this would lead to the print/online Cold War. To you, whose side are you on?)
I will not let NISB suffer the same fate that the NCIpreps board suffered eight years ago. This is the same group of uncontrollable people which led to the killing of that.
I can't simply remove the mildew from the board manually without cause. But what can be done is drowning all of it out to make it appear small. This I can't do alone. Much of my former base consisted of current NIB-12 posters, mixed with Three Rivers, Big 6 and Rock Falls/Dixon/Bureau County posters. These are the people that brought integrity and respect to this message board, both of which has been lost with this mess.
Together, we can restore something that will make high school sports in this area something to cheer about and be happy of.
F****ing with me has its consenquences.
In the name of high school sports, the revolution to take back the NISB Message Board has commenced. Let's quarantine this crap.
Who's with me?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
First House Starter Kit
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2012.42.90
Current Song - Boomin' Bump (John Baker)
At this point I am 100% committed to the new house, and all I have to do is sign the lease to make it official.
I plan on officially moving in November 1.
112 12th Avenue, Sterling
I'll have a lot to bring in from my bedroom, as well as the closets around the house and the basement. However, there are many, many things that I still need in order to maintain the appearance and make it look presentable.
Problem is, I would like to do this without spending as much money as possible. Lucikilly, this coincided with the final day of Sterling/Rock Falls's Garage Sale Days - where many houses sell stuff from their yard. I was occupied all of Saturday, so I did my searching on Sunday.
I did some searching for a dresser last Sunday to no avail. Along the way, I stopped to get gas at one of the Shell stations that I once worked at. "Who goes garage saleing on a Sunday?"
I do.
To me, Sundays are the best time for it. This is the tail end of the sale and people are more and more willing to let go of things for a low price.
With an area map in my car, I planned on hitting the south subdivisions of Rock Falls first and working my way up to the north subdivisions of Sterling.
So here's what I got (in order):
My little coffee table, and a placemat for the top of it.
My popcorn bowl
A metal sign that reads, "deadlines make me laugh"
My hard-plastic set of plates and bowls
My halloween candy basket
A Christmas centerpiece that has a six-inch fake Christmas tree on it (This will actually be my Christmas Tree until I get a bigger one)
My toaster, which I find suspect now
Two telvision sets - these were actually free! (whether they work or not will be determined later)
My clothes dresser priced for $30 and I was able to knock down to $15 (skelton keys included)
--Thanks to the guys there for hauling it back to my house!
A pair of fake wine glasses for the kitchen
--Thanks Johnna!
My mini-vacuum
My Rock Falls Rockets pennant, for the sports collection
My kitchen table: round with a glass top (and $5, too!)
--Thanks Dalan!
My vacuum cleaner
--Thanks Jessica!
Two lamps
My wall clock
Placemats
My flatheads and phillips' screwdrivers
My dinner table chairs
--- All for $55
All but three things were bought in Rock Falls. By the time I made it across the river, I knew time was running out. I got the dinner table chairs in Sterling, and I originally bought just the one. The person there mentioned that the other chair is in the house, and he was maybe looking at selling that one also. The chair is white and would normally go in a living room, but I looked at it as a dining room chair (hard wood vs. a cushioned chair - that's a no-brainer) and a living room chair when the time calls for it.
I had to haul the chair in my trunk in such an oblong way that bungee cords were necessary. After bringing it back home is when I looked at it as a dining room chair. So I went back across town to that sale and asked to buy the other chair.
By this time I could only find one more sale, and they were putting things back in the garage. Was there anything in particular I was still looking for? I showed them my list, and they referred me to the Dollar Tree. So with no time for more garage sales, I planned on spending the rest of my money at the DT. This trimmed my list down a bit, but there's still quite a few things left to buy.
Also bought at the DT were a few picture frames. This not just has to do with pictures, but something I read in one of the books I bought Thursday @ Barnes and Noble.
The books are still in my car, and I don't plan on reading them extensively until I get settled in. These were the best three books at B&N that had anything to do with moving out and getting on two feet (so I guess I deprived Rockford's youth of this opportunity, unless they bring in more books).
I had arrived at Ottawa early the next afternoon for a football game, so I started on one of the books to occupy time. Just the first six pages had those "make a list and save it" demands. Hence, the picture frames.
As for the rest of the list, a trip to the Walton Mart will suffice.
My hope is to have my house look like the insides of all of my relatives, and not just a college dorm room.
Current Song - Boomin' Bump (John Baker)
At this point I am 100% committed to the new house, and all I have to do is sign the lease to make it official.
I plan on officially moving in November 1.
112 12th Avenue, Sterling
I'll have a lot to bring in from my bedroom, as well as the closets around the house and the basement. However, there are many, many things that I still need in order to maintain the appearance and make it look presentable.
Problem is, I would like to do this without spending as much money as possible. Lucikilly, this coincided with the final day of Sterling/Rock Falls's Garage Sale Days - where many houses sell stuff from their yard. I was occupied all of Saturday, so I did my searching on Sunday.
I did some searching for a dresser last Sunday to no avail. Along the way, I stopped to get gas at one of the Shell stations that I once worked at. "Who goes garage saleing on a Sunday?"
I do.
To me, Sundays are the best time for it. This is the tail end of the sale and people are more and more willing to let go of things for a low price.
With an area map in my car, I planned on hitting the south subdivisions of Rock Falls first and working my way up to the north subdivisions of Sterling.
So here's what I got (in order):
My little coffee table, and a placemat for the top of it.
My popcorn bowl
A metal sign that reads, "deadlines make me laugh"
My hard-plastic set of plates and bowls
My halloween candy basket
A Christmas centerpiece that has a six-inch fake Christmas tree on it (This will actually be my Christmas Tree until I get a bigger one)
My toaster, which I find suspect now
Two telvision sets - these were actually free! (whether they work or not will be determined later)
My clothes dresser priced for $30 and I was able to knock down to $15 (skelton keys included)
--Thanks to the guys there for hauling it back to my house!
A pair of fake wine glasses for the kitchen
--Thanks Johnna!
My mini-vacuum
My Rock Falls Rockets pennant, for the sports collection
My kitchen table: round with a glass top (and $5, too!)
--Thanks Dalan!
My vacuum cleaner
--Thanks Jessica!
Two lamps
My wall clock
Placemats
My flatheads and phillips' screwdrivers
My dinner table chairs
--- All for $55
All but three things were bought in Rock Falls. By the time I made it across the river, I knew time was running out. I got the dinner table chairs in Sterling, and I originally bought just the one. The person there mentioned that the other chair is in the house, and he was maybe looking at selling that one also. The chair is white and would normally go in a living room, but I looked at it as a dining room chair (hard wood vs. a cushioned chair - that's a no-brainer) and a living room chair when the time calls for it.
I had to haul the chair in my trunk in such an oblong way that bungee cords were necessary. After bringing it back home is when I looked at it as a dining room chair. So I went back across town to that sale and asked to buy the other chair.
By this time I could only find one more sale, and they were putting things back in the garage. Was there anything in particular I was still looking for? I showed them my list, and they referred me to the Dollar Tree. So with no time for more garage sales, I planned on spending the rest of my money at the DT. This trimmed my list down a bit, but there's still quite a few things left to buy.
Also bought at the DT were a few picture frames. This not just has to do with pictures, but something I read in one of the books I bought Thursday @ Barnes and Noble.
The books are still in my car, and I don't plan on reading them extensively until I get settled in. These were the best three books at B&N that had anything to do with moving out and getting on two feet (so I guess I deprived Rockford's youth of this opportunity, unless they bring in more books).
I had arrived at Ottawa early the next afternoon for a football game, so I started on one of the books to occupy time. Just the first six pages had those "make a list and save it" demands. Hence, the picture frames.
As for the rest of the list, a trip to the Walton Mart will suffice.
My hope is to have my house look like the insides of all of my relatives, and not just a college dorm room.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
House Visit
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.02.20
Current Song - The Way (Fastball)
I'm about 80% committed to getting a house of my own.
Well, it's not technically my own. My grandparents own it.
I went through the house yesterday to get a sense of where the rooms are at. It's pretty much one story plus a basement, with the second story being an attic.
It's the SE corner of 12th Avenue and 2nd Street in Sterling, just a few blocks down from where I live now. My cousin Joshua and his wife lived there previously. Just a short walk across my side lawn, one more back yard and then 1st Street is my grandparents' house. My brother Chris is three blocks across and then two blocks up. So I'm not too far away from home.
The house has got to be at least 100 years old, with the outside looking like the same concrete foundation seen on some houses along Leroy Avenue in Rock Falls (the only way I can describe it). The front door leads straight out to the corner of the block, giving the house a diamond "V" shape when looking at it.
There are two bedrooms: I'll be sleeping in the larger one and I'll be using the smaller one as my office. This may be a small house by size standards, but I think I'll have more than enough room to work with. The attic and basement are pretty much storage areas for things I don't have now, but once I get settled in I think I'll find a use for these.
Lately I've been making a list of household starter things: such as dish soap, a vaccum cleaner, silverware, etc. Then there's groceries, and I'm just going to feel my way through it. Then there's the really big stuff, since this is an unfurnished place: something to sit on, a television, fridge, microwave, stove (maybe), kitchen table/chairs, lawnmower, etc.
I have a feeling that once I get couch and television in my living room, the rest of the room is going to be a blank void. I'm not one for "blank" living quarters. I get this from my mom. Our living room has a bunch of decorations, fake plants, chimes and such.
My office, for sure, won't be a "blank" room. I'm already picturing that in my mind -
The office is about 7 feet one way and 10 feet the other, and is carpeted. I got my desk (my great-great grandmother's) in the middle of the room with a chair behind it and a chair in front of it for visitors to my office. For the walls, I have saved up these high school sports programs over the years that I really have no use for other than posterity sake, so I want to cut the covers off of them, put them on posterboard and try to fill the walls with them.
That leaves room for my college sportswriting awards, my diploma and degree, and a space for a team pic of my favorite high school sports team EVER. I just need to find one, as I don't have one : (
Current Song - The Way (Fastball)
I'm about 80% committed to getting a house of my own.
Well, it's not technically my own. My grandparents own it.
I went through the house yesterday to get a sense of where the rooms are at. It's pretty much one story plus a basement, with the second story being an attic.
It's the SE corner of 12th Avenue and 2nd Street in Sterling, just a few blocks down from where I live now. My cousin Joshua and his wife lived there previously. Just a short walk across my side lawn, one more back yard and then 1st Street is my grandparents' house. My brother Chris is three blocks across and then two blocks up. So I'm not too far away from home.
The house has got to be at least 100 years old, with the outside looking like the same concrete foundation seen on some houses along Leroy Avenue in Rock Falls (the only way I can describe it). The front door leads straight out to the corner of the block, giving the house a diamond "V" shape when looking at it.
There are two bedrooms: I'll be sleeping in the larger one and I'll be using the smaller one as my office. This may be a small house by size standards, but I think I'll have more than enough room to work with. The attic and basement are pretty much storage areas for things I don't have now, but once I get settled in I think I'll find a use for these.
Lately I've been making a list of household starter things: such as dish soap, a vaccum cleaner, silverware, etc. Then there's groceries, and I'm just going to feel my way through it. Then there's the really big stuff, since this is an unfurnished place: something to sit on, a television, fridge, microwave, stove (maybe), kitchen table/chairs, lawnmower, etc.
I have a feeling that once I get couch and television in my living room, the rest of the room is going to be a blank void. I'm not one for "blank" living quarters. I get this from my mom. Our living room has a bunch of decorations, fake plants, chimes and such.
My office, for sure, won't be a "blank" room. I'm already picturing that in my mind -
The office is about 7 feet one way and 10 feet the other, and is carpeted. I got my desk (my great-great grandmother's) in the middle of the room with a chair behind it and a chair in front of it for visitors to my office. For the walls, I have saved up these high school sports programs over the years that I really have no use for other than posterity sake, so I want to cut the covers off of them, put them on posterboard and try to fill the walls with them.
That leaves room for my college sportswriting awards, my diploma and degree, and a space for a team pic of my favorite high school sports team EVER. I just need to find one, as I don't have one : (
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
When We Were Being Followed
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2012.81.90
Current Song - Careless Whisper (Wham!)
I never had success with girls in high school, except for being the No. 1 fan of the Rock Falls Softball team. That was pretty much the closest I came to girls. Still, I had a long way to go from there.
The memories that stick out in my mind are those that many people consider just an ordinary day. Since I had little success with the opposite gender, moments that many percieve as small are huge to me.
So let's go back to ...
Well, it took me a long time to figure out the date of this memory. You see, the memory is so huge that I can't even remember when exactly it happened. After about two hours of thinking about it, it was Week 5 of the 2003 football season.
So let's go back to Week 5 of the 2003 football season: The only time any hint of jealosy involved me and a girl.
I was working for PSO at the time, on the Sterling Football beat. The year prior, I had asked for permission to cover a Rock Falls game. I told them I was going to Homecoming with one of the girls (a lie, but a believeable one), and went on to cover Rock Falls vs. Mendota - the game that Isaiah got injured and Robbie ran into me while I was taping on the sideline. RF won that game.
The following year I tried to pull of the same excuse. I told them I was going to Homecoming with another girl (which was actually almost true, see the third-to-last paragraph) In this game, Rock Falls was taking on Hall -Week 5 of the 2003 football season.
I don't remember much of this football game, mostly because Hall crushed Rock Falls 34-6. I do remember walking to that game because I didn't have a working bicycle at the time (the "Geneseo" bike had broken down, and the loaner bike from my boss had to be returned). From my house to Hinders Field is about 2 miles one-way. All I was tasked to do was write an article.
Along the way to the field I'm sure I talked to several of my friends. Like last year, I was in the middle of the Rock Falls team box trying to take game notes and such. So much for this game, 34-6. Needless to say, the commotion amongst friends had started to take over the student section rather than watching the late stages of the game. This spilled to the area outside of the stands after the game.
I remember walking toward the gate when a group of friends called me over. Within this group was one of the girls. (She knows who she is).
Somehow I guess the conversation had turned to wondering if I rode my bike there. I said I walked here, and they thought it was far for me to walk two miles to a game.
I don't know what happened next, but a disagreement between girlfriend and boyfriend sounds familiar, but the next thing I know this girl had called me outside of the group and we walked away. Her hand was across my shoulders and we were walking close to each other. She had heard that I walked home, and offered me a ride back to my place.
We were walking to her car, which was parked along 15th Avenue. Her boyfriend followed and was all confused - or angry, or I don't know - as we hopped in her car.
"I'm taking Cody home!"
Well, this was a first. I had never been in a car ALONE with a girl. (I had been in a car with four girls once, but never with just one). While noting the generosity she had given me with the ride back home, I had wondered what was up with this whole discussion between boyfriend and girlfriend. She seemed to be angry at him for whatever reason.
Now picture this: there is a disagreement between boyfriend and girlfriend, and the girl takes another boy to her car with her and offers him a ride home. What do you think the boyfriend would do about this? Keeping in mind, he knows that I have known her for quite some time (and not just some stranger).
He follows us.
We go across First Avenue Bridge and head under the railroad tracks. I guess that was where she noticed that her boyfriend was following her, and I seem to remember her not being too happy about it.
To be quite honest, I have no idea what we were talking about in the car. I seemed to remember not making much conversation, while she was a little sad.
I think about that thought and a bunch of "what ifs" come to mind. One of the moments where having autism fails me miserably. If only I were able to make more conversation I think things would have been different.
We arrived at my place, and there is not just one car following us, but two cars: the boyfriend's and another car with a couple more friends (Kody and Kal).
I thanked her for the ride back home.
I walked inside my house and sat on the couch wondering about this feeling. What kept coming into my mind was all of the "what ifs." Who knows what would have transpired had her boyfriend not followed us home.
Damn my shyness!
Current Song - Careless Whisper (Wham!)
I never had success with girls in high school, except for being the No. 1 fan of the Rock Falls Softball team. That was pretty much the closest I came to girls. Still, I had a long way to go from there.
The memories that stick out in my mind are those that many people consider just an ordinary day. Since I had little success with the opposite gender, moments that many percieve as small are huge to me.
So let's go back to ...
Well, it took me a long time to figure out the date of this memory. You see, the memory is so huge that I can't even remember when exactly it happened. After about two hours of thinking about it, it was Week 5 of the 2003 football season.
So let's go back to Week 5 of the 2003 football season: The only time any hint of jealosy involved me and a girl.
I was working for PSO at the time, on the Sterling Football beat. The year prior, I had asked for permission to cover a Rock Falls game. I told them I was going to Homecoming with one of the girls (a lie, but a believeable one), and went on to cover Rock Falls vs. Mendota - the game that Isaiah got injured and Robbie ran into me while I was taping on the sideline. RF won that game.
The following year I tried to pull of the same excuse. I told them I was going to Homecoming with another girl (which was actually almost true, see the third-to-last paragraph) In this game, Rock Falls was taking on Hall -Week 5 of the 2003 football season.
I don't remember much of this football game, mostly because Hall crushed Rock Falls 34-6. I do remember walking to that game because I didn't have a working bicycle at the time (the "Geneseo" bike had broken down, and the loaner bike from my boss had to be returned). From my house to Hinders Field is about 2 miles one-way. All I was tasked to do was write an article.
Along the way to the field I'm sure I talked to several of my friends. Like last year, I was in the middle of the Rock Falls team box trying to take game notes and such. So much for this game, 34-6. Needless to say, the commotion amongst friends had started to take over the student section rather than watching the late stages of the game. This spilled to the area outside of the stands after the game.
I remember walking toward the gate when a group of friends called me over. Within this group was one of the girls. (She knows who she is).
Somehow I guess the conversation had turned to wondering if I rode my bike there. I said I walked here, and they thought it was far for me to walk two miles to a game.
I don't know what happened next, but a disagreement between girlfriend and boyfriend sounds familiar, but the next thing I know this girl had called me outside of the group and we walked away. Her hand was across my shoulders and we were walking close to each other. She had heard that I walked home, and offered me a ride back to my place.
We were walking to her car, which was parked along 15th Avenue. Her boyfriend followed and was all confused - or angry, or I don't know - as we hopped in her car.
"I'm taking Cody home!"
Well, this was a first. I had never been in a car ALONE with a girl. (I had been in a car with four girls once, but never with just one). While noting the generosity she had given me with the ride back home, I had wondered what was up with this whole discussion between boyfriend and girlfriend. She seemed to be angry at him for whatever reason.
Now picture this: there is a disagreement between boyfriend and girlfriend, and the girl takes another boy to her car with her and offers him a ride home. What do you think the boyfriend would do about this? Keeping in mind, he knows that I have known her for quite some time (and not just some stranger).
He follows us.
We go across First Avenue Bridge and head under the railroad tracks. I guess that was where she noticed that her boyfriend was following her, and I seem to remember her not being too happy about it.
To be quite honest, I have no idea what we were talking about in the car. I seemed to remember not making much conversation, while she was a little sad.
I think about that thought and a bunch of "what ifs" come to mind. One of the moments where having autism fails me miserably. If only I were able to make more conversation I think things would have been different.
We arrived at my place, and there is not just one car following us, but two cars: the boyfriend's and another car with a couple more friends (Kody and Kal).
I thanked her for the ride back home.
I walked inside my house and sat on the couch wondering about this feeling. What kept coming into my mind was all of the "what ifs." Who knows what would have transpired had her boyfriend not followed us home.
Damn my shyness!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Cody's Bachelor Pad?
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.71.90
Current Song - Roll With The Changes (REO Speedwagon)
I thought deeper about the rental property.
After talking with my brother Chris about it, he told me that the bills attached with the rent for one of his friends's places wasn't all that substantial. Needless to say, this gave me some more confidence in wanting to make a move on this rental.
Thinking about the rental came only after searching for a clothes dresser during a runaround at rummage sales. All of the area rummage sales yesterday didn't have a clothes dresser, but there was a small antique place in Dixon that had one I sort of liked. Six small drawers and a top that a placemat should fix - $69. The store had a 20% sale to knock this purchase to less than $60 after tax.
I have never shopped for a clothes dresser before, so I don't know what to expect with pricing. The department stores have those put-it-together-yourself pieces that I am really no good at. I think I'll be looking at the paper more for garage sales. Sterling/Rock Falls is supposed to have its second "garage sale days" of the year this coming weekend. It's too bad I'm working from 8-2 on Friday. So hopefully there will be a dresser on Saturday.
Once I get this dresser, I'll be able to work on cleaning my bedroom more. I could only get part of it done before breathing in quite a bit of dust. I moved by bed over to another side of the room, and bought new blinds for my windows.
There's a space that I'd like to put my dresser, and that leaves some wall space for tacking on some stuff (if I find more). Next up is trying to find a place that recycles old stereo systems, as I have two that are no longer in working order. This frees up shelf space for more books that I have lumped in a corner. This takes care of two of the four walls of my room.
Next up is another trip to the Walton Mart, as I completely forgot to get other things when I got the blinds. Plastic storage containers, a special bulb for this desk lamp that hasn't been used in a couple of years, and a white marker for my LED color-changing blackboard.
My old clothes dresser has fallen apart and only two drawers remain. I use these two for storing more stuff; one of them for all of my electronic equipment and its chargers. The other is just a mess.
To pretty much sum it all up, I'd like to transfer about half of my bedroom either into plastic storage containers, or garbage. So if I do wind up moving into the rental, there won't be so much to organize and move around.
Literally, my room could be stretched into a whole house.
Just finding the time to clean the room is a challenge between work and website.
***
Off to the rental.
I drove by it last night and it didn't catch me until then that it had a small second-story level. And a deck in the back. I've been in the inside of it a couple of times, but the last time was a few years back.
Now it's just a matter of having the money to maintain all of this. As I mentioned a couple of entries ago, I need to set aside $175/week (24.5 hours/week) just to maintain living quarters. I just have to find a way to stretch the remainder of that, and at the same time add an additional source of income. The beginning necessities would simply come from savings.
When I was investing heavily into my website for a couple of years (until three months ago), much of my paycheck went to that. I'd simply be reverting myself to that kind of life once more.
The more I see it, there are many "wins" for me in this:
1. I don't do a good job with keeping things clean (as you may have noticed with this entry), so this gives me an incentive to start cleaning regularly. As I mentioned thoughout these past few months, I'm trying to fix myself to make it better. This is a start.
2. I rarely mow the lawn at home because either dad, Mike or Chris does it. I'll have to mow my own lawn.
3. Laundry.
4. Fiscal responsibility.
4 1/2. Less use of the car and more walking, riding, etc.
5. Possibly putting myself in a position to feel the pinch to find a second job. Or work harder at my first.
6. I can learn to cook.
7. I can learn about maintenance. Basically saying, this living quarters is a classroom laboratory.
8. (And perhaps most importantly) I will be living by myself, where no one can disturb me, where no one can ask me for computer time, where no one can question what I do and how I do things, and such-and-such. That is, unless I allow company - and company is always welcome (which gives me an incentive to point No. 1).
This is the bachelor pad.
Until she comes into my life.
Which reminds me, I need to fix up my bedroom to something like this:
And add in a champagne bar as well.
With music like this in the background:
Current Song - Roll With The Changes (REO Speedwagon)
I thought deeper about the rental property.
After talking with my brother Chris about it, he told me that the bills attached with the rent for one of his friends's places wasn't all that substantial. Needless to say, this gave me some more confidence in wanting to make a move on this rental.
Thinking about the rental came only after searching for a clothes dresser during a runaround at rummage sales. All of the area rummage sales yesterday didn't have a clothes dresser, but there was a small antique place in Dixon that had one I sort of liked. Six small drawers and a top that a placemat should fix - $69. The store had a 20% sale to knock this purchase to less than $60 after tax.
I have never shopped for a clothes dresser before, so I don't know what to expect with pricing. The department stores have those put-it-together-yourself pieces that I am really no good at. I think I'll be looking at the paper more for garage sales. Sterling/Rock Falls is supposed to have its second "garage sale days" of the year this coming weekend. It's too bad I'm working from 8-2 on Friday. So hopefully there will be a dresser on Saturday.
Once I get this dresser, I'll be able to work on cleaning my bedroom more. I could only get part of it done before breathing in quite a bit of dust. I moved by bed over to another side of the room, and bought new blinds for my windows.
There's a space that I'd like to put my dresser, and that leaves some wall space for tacking on some stuff (if I find more). Next up is trying to find a place that recycles old stereo systems, as I have two that are no longer in working order. This frees up shelf space for more books that I have lumped in a corner. This takes care of two of the four walls of my room.
Next up is another trip to the Walton Mart, as I completely forgot to get other things when I got the blinds. Plastic storage containers, a special bulb for this desk lamp that hasn't been used in a couple of years, and a white marker for my LED color-changing blackboard.
My old clothes dresser has fallen apart and only two drawers remain. I use these two for storing more stuff; one of them for all of my electronic equipment and its chargers. The other is just a mess.
To pretty much sum it all up, I'd like to transfer about half of my bedroom either into plastic storage containers, or garbage. So if I do wind up moving into the rental, there won't be so much to organize and move around.
Literally, my room could be stretched into a whole house.
Just finding the time to clean the room is a challenge between work and website.
***
Off to the rental.
I drove by it last night and it didn't catch me until then that it had a small second-story level. And a deck in the back. I've been in the inside of it a couple of times, but the last time was a few years back.
Now it's just a matter of having the money to maintain all of this. As I mentioned a couple of entries ago, I need to set aside $175/week (24.5 hours/week) just to maintain living quarters. I just have to find a way to stretch the remainder of that, and at the same time add an additional source of income. The beginning necessities would simply come from savings.
When I was investing heavily into my website for a couple of years (until three months ago), much of my paycheck went to that. I'd simply be reverting myself to that kind of life once more.
The more I see it, there are many "wins" for me in this:
1. I don't do a good job with keeping things clean (as you may have noticed with this entry), so this gives me an incentive to start cleaning regularly. As I mentioned thoughout these past few months, I'm trying to fix myself to make it better. This is a start.
2. I rarely mow the lawn at home because either dad, Mike or Chris does it. I'll have to mow my own lawn.
3. Laundry.
4. Fiscal responsibility.
4 1/2. Less use of the car and more walking, riding, etc.
5. Possibly putting myself in a position to feel the pinch to find a second job. Or work harder at my first.
6. I can learn to cook.
7. I can learn about maintenance. Basically saying, this living quarters is a classroom laboratory.
8. (And perhaps most importantly) I will be living by myself, where no one can disturb me, where no one can ask me for computer time, where no one can question what I do and how I do things, and such-and-such. That is, unless I allow company - and company is always welcome (which gives me an incentive to point No. 1).
This is the bachelor pad.
Until she comes into my life.
Which reminds me, I need to fix up my bedroom to something like this:
And add in a champagne bar as well.
With music like this in the background:
Friday, September 14, 2012
"Personal Growth Tour": Three Months Later
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.41.90
Current Song - The One You Love (Glenn Frey)
The title of this entry stems from an argument from three months ago. Here I was trying to fix the issues in my life, and what I got in response were the words "personal growth tour" (quotes included) as if I was being mocked. Needless to say, I shoved back and moved on.
Three months ago at this time, I decided to make some changes to the NISB website that I run, via the State of the Site Address.
I was pinned to a wall in many ways before I made these decisions, and I can honestly say that right now I am less stressful than I was four months ago. I don't have to worry about rushing to get things done, and I don't have to worry about having website matters interfere with what I do for work at the Shell station.
If I had kept going the way I had been, rather than make much-needed changes, I would be out of money and in a worse mental state. I could forsee this happening and I had to do what I had to do to get out of it. I basically said in the State of the Site Address that the changes were going to be made in order to reset myself and start over again.
I didn't detail all of the changes I was going to make in my life in the Address, because it would make this video more about Me than the Website.
Financially
As I mentioned earlier, there is much little stress in my life because I'm now doing things the way I want to do them, instead of have the world push me around in different directions against my own will. I can't recall a single time that I have been in a bad mood since making these changes.
Previously, I was living paycheck-by-paycheck (minus the seven-month absence). I'm not investing as much money into the website as I used to, thuis the money I'm making at work is actually going into my pocket rather than toward website expenses. This relieves that worry. Although I still split my paychecks certain ways, with one of them being website expenses.
Tying in, when I was living paycheck-to-paycheck and in the seven months I was out of work, I learned to live off very little. When the money did come my way, I worked hard to not spend so much of it and continue to make do with less. In my last entry, I mentioned an opportunity to live at a place of my own - and this would just carry on to that. If I kept on with the usual website plans, I never would have had this opportunity to live at a place of my own.
It's been two weeks since I last bought a lotto ticket, which is the longest-such stretch since coming back to work. This is something that I hope continues into the future. I have also not been to a casino since breaking even at Bettendorf two months ago. This is also someting that I hope continues into the future.
Website
When I made the address, there were certain people that thought this was the end of it. For the first time in eight years of running the website, I began to feel that doubt of its future existed in the minds of other people - and all you can do about this is ignore them. In the address, I stated that the website will NOT die. So far, it hasn't.
I've impressed myself on occasion with what I'm able to put up on the website as far as content is concerned. Certain people thought that the website wouldn't have fresh content on a regular basis, but I'm finding a way to make this happen ... slowly but surely.
The whiteboard next to my desk is still in use and it is my hope that I can build a log of content releases (something new on the website every day) that extends into the future. I still get Tuesdays off of work, with some Thursdays in there once in a while. Lately I haven't been making good use of these nights because of trying to get my life in order, but I think sometime soon I'll be able to make the usual rounds throughout northern Illinois like I used to.
And the NISB board hasn't lost a beat when it comes to traffic ... senior posters, maybe, but I think the overall mood has quieted down now that people know what I expect in message board discussion.
With what content I'm putting up, I'm starting to become more aware of who is visiting the website. Perhaps I can build on these links.
Once I'm able to build the website back to a cycle of success, I can restart the promotional cause.
I keep mentioning that I'm wanting to do more with the website, and at the same time compliment myself on the lack of stress. The difference here is this: there is ZERO outside influence pushing me around this time.
Conversation
The one-year anniversary of my almost-fatal sting at Shell went by quietly. Since coming back in April, I'd like to think I'm doing alright. That's for the rest of them to decide, not me. But the nights have certainly gone by quicker.
There's not much else to mention after that, other than my comeback ingited a spark to combat a major weakness of mine. In my first go-around, I was shy and didn't talk so much. When customers noticed that I was back, this led to more and more conversation.
And more conversation is a plus.
Working with my conversation abilities at Shell has helped me somewhat when it comes to whenever I see a friend somewhere. In what is becoming the page-turning process of the next chapter, I'm trying to find out who's in it for the long run, or whose time has passed.
Along the way, I'm finding a whole new group of people available to me. I think when most people hit college, they start to find new friends and hang out with them more. All this time I couldn't quite let go of what I already had. I guess only now, at age 26, I'm noticing that there truly DOES exist people that share the same interests as myself (mostly in the form of high school sports). These people are of many different ages, and from all over northern Illinois.
Girls
When it comes to an improvement in conversation, the topic of girls pretty much has to come up. So here it is.
Since trying to restructure the foundation of my life, I have eliminated all of my past "crush remnants" (and wrote a series of entries on this Blog about it). The process was hard, and I had to let go of three girls that lingered in my life all of this time.
This wiped the slate clean. I realized then that the whole "trying to find a girlfriend" thing was something that I could not force, but rather have it come to me.
At this point in my life, there are three avenues where she can come from:
1. My past - Which is so hard since the next chapters of their own lives have been made, and we have drifted apart since then (unless there is somehow a small link keeping us together that I don't know about).
2. Through the "Enter" door at the Shell station - Such an occurance has only happened maybe 2 or 3 times since working there, where I think she is kind of cute.
3. Somewhere within the high school sports scene - Some fan, parent, young coach, or elsewhere. This has never happened in the 10 years I've been involved with journalism. I should make an important note that it is absolutely wrong to have crushes on the girls you write about at the time, as it is not only a serious breach of journalism ethic but also something very disturbing. Even if the situation is reversed, when a girl you write about has a crush on you, it is still a serious breach of ethic if you agree to persue this (even for someone like me who has been wanting a significant other for quite some time). Ethic takes precedence over crushes in this instance. I had to battle with this challenge during my short time at Sauk Valley Media, granted I had just turned 18 at the time.
Do good things happen to those who wait?
Health
I'll end with something that is still bothering me to this day.
I mentioned in my Address that I was going to do something about my health. I'm still a big, fat sitting duck.
I don't think I'll get anywhere with the point above with where I'm at now. I know I mentioned the rental opportunity in the last entry, but I'm not sure if depriving myself of money is going to help me shed some pounds. They say fasting is the worst way to lose weight.
Now if I can just find a way to make this happen, I think I'll be going a lot faster in this process.
Current Song - The One You Love (Glenn Frey)
The title of this entry stems from an argument from three months ago. Here I was trying to fix the issues in my life, and what I got in response were the words "personal growth tour" (quotes included) as if I was being mocked. Needless to say, I shoved back and moved on.
Three months ago at this time, I decided to make some changes to the NISB website that I run, via the State of the Site Address.
I was pinned to a wall in many ways before I made these decisions, and I can honestly say that right now I am less stressful than I was four months ago. I don't have to worry about rushing to get things done, and I don't have to worry about having website matters interfere with what I do for work at the Shell station.
If I had kept going the way I had been, rather than make much-needed changes, I would be out of money and in a worse mental state. I could forsee this happening and I had to do what I had to do to get out of it. I basically said in the State of the Site Address that the changes were going to be made in order to reset myself and start over again.
I didn't detail all of the changes I was going to make in my life in the Address, because it would make this video more about Me than the Website.
Financially
As I mentioned earlier, there is much little stress in my life because I'm now doing things the way I want to do them, instead of have the world push me around in different directions against my own will. I can't recall a single time that I have been in a bad mood since making these changes.
Previously, I was living paycheck-by-paycheck (minus the seven-month absence). I'm not investing as much money into the website as I used to, thuis the money I'm making at work is actually going into my pocket rather than toward website expenses. This relieves that worry. Although I still split my paychecks certain ways, with one of them being website expenses.
Tying in, when I was living paycheck-to-paycheck and in the seven months I was out of work, I learned to live off very little. When the money did come my way, I worked hard to not spend so much of it and continue to make do with less. In my last entry, I mentioned an opportunity to live at a place of my own - and this would just carry on to that. If I kept on with the usual website plans, I never would have had this opportunity to live at a place of my own.
It's been two weeks since I last bought a lotto ticket, which is the longest-such stretch since coming back to work. This is something that I hope continues into the future. I have also not been to a casino since breaking even at Bettendorf two months ago. This is also someting that I hope continues into the future.
Website
When I made the address, there were certain people that thought this was the end of it. For the first time in eight years of running the website, I began to feel that doubt of its future existed in the minds of other people - and all you can do about this is ignore them. In the address, I stated that the website will NOT die. So far, it hasn't.
I've impressed myself on occasion with what I'm able to put up on the website as far as content is concerned. Certain people thought that the website wouldn't have fresh content on a regular basis, but I'm finding a way to make this happen ... slowly but surely.
The whiteboard next to my desk is still in use and it is my hope that I can build a log of content releases (something new on the website every day) that extends into the future. I still get Tuesdays off of work, with some Thursdays in there once in a while. Lately I haven't been making good use of these nights because of trying to get my life in order, but I think sometime soon I'll be able to make the usual rounds throughout northern Illinois like I used to.
And the NISB board hasn't lost a beat when it comes to traffic ... senior posters, maybe, but I think the overall mood has quieted down now that people know what I expect in message board discussion.
With what content I'm putting up, I'm starting to become more aware of who is visiting the website. Perhaps I can build on these links.
Once I'm able to build the website back to a cycle of success, I can restart the promotional cause.
I keep mentioning that I'm wanting to do more with the website, and at the same time compliment myself on the lack of stress. The difference here is this: there is ZERO outside influence pushing me around this time.
Conversation
The one-year anniversary of my almost-fatal sting at Shell went by quietly. Since coming back in April, I'd like to think I'm doing alright. That's for the rest of them to decide, not me. But the nights have certainly gone by quicker.
There's not much else to mention after that, other than my comeback ingited a spark to combat a major weakness of mine. In my first go-around, I was shy and didn't talk so much. When customers noticed that I was back, this led to more and more conversation.
And more conversation is a plus.
Working with my conversation abilities at Shell has helped me somewhat when it comes to whenever I see a friend somewhere. In what is becoming the page-turning process of the next chapter, I'm trying to find out who's in it for the long run, or whose time has passed.
Along the way, I'm finding a whole new group of people available to me. I think when most people hit college, they start to find new friends and hang out with them more. All this time I couldn't quite let go of what I already had. I guess only now, at age 26, I'm noticing that there truly DOES exist people that share the same interests as myself (mostly in the form of high school sports). These people are of many different ages, and from all over northern Illinois.
Girls
When it comes to an improvement in conversation, the topic of girls pretty much has to come up. So here it is.
Since trying to restructure the foundation of my life, I have eliminated all of my past "crush remnants" (and wrote a series of entries on this Blog about it). The process was hard, and I had to let go of three girls that lingered in my life all of this time.
This wiped the slate clean. I realized then that the whole "trying to find a girlfriend" thing was something that I could not force, but rather have it come to me.
At this point in my life, there are three avenues where she can come from:
1. My past - Which is so hard since the next chapters of their own lives have been made, and we have drifted apart since then (unless there is somehow a small link keeping us together that I don't know about).
2. Through the "Enter" door at the Shell station - Such an occurance has only happened maybe 2 or 3 times since working there, where I think she is kind of cute.
3. Somewhere within the high school sports scene - Some fan, parent, young coach, or elsewhere. This has never happened in the 10 years I've been involved with journalism. I should make an important note that it is absolutely wrong to have crushes on the girls you write about at the time, as it is not only a serious breach of journalism ethic but also something very disturbing. Even if the situation is reversed, when a girl you write about has a crush on you, it is still a serious breach of ethic if you agree to persue this (even for someone like me who has been wanting a significant other for quite some time). Ethic takes precedence over crushes in this instance. I had to battle with this challenge during my short time at Sauk Valley Media, granted I had just turned 18 at the time.
Do good things happen to those who wait?
Health
I'll end with something that is still bothering me to this day.
I mentioned in my Address that I was going to do something about my health. I'm still a big, fat sitting duck.
I don't think I'll get anywhere with the point above with where I'm at now. I know I mentioned the rental opportunity in the last entry, but I'm not sure if depriving myself of money is going to help me shed some pounds. They say fasting is the worst way to lose weight.
Now if I can just find a way to make this happen, I think I'll be going a lot faster in this process.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Offer on the Table
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.21.90
Current Song - Barefoot on the Beach (Michael Franks)
Ever since leaving Sauk Valley Media eight years ago, I have been waiting for that journalism offer to pounce on.
I've heard of many writing openings over this time: LaSalle had a couple, BCR had a couple, QC Times had a couple, and both DeKalb and the Northwest Herald had a couple. In all but one instance, I was unable to find it in me to put together a resume/portfolio because of the high cost of relocation. Simply put, I was not ready to move away and live somewhere on my own.
I didn't know how much rent, water, electric, cable, gas, and phone was all going to add up to over the course of a single month. And whether I would be able to keep up with payments. I never really know a rough figure.
Until an offer was made to me recently.
The living quarters is a small house in the neighborhood that I live in. Probably more living space than I need, but the inside is predominantly white (plants and pictures can fix that). Combined expenses outside of Cable would add up to $700/month.
I make $9/hour at Shell. So let's do the math:
Actual money per hour (after taxes) would be 9 x 0.80 = $7.20/hour.
Hours needed to work/month in order to pay for it would be 700/7.2 = ~ 97.25 (divided by 4 = 24.50).
Basically, I would need to set aside a whole $175/week just for living quarters alone.
My average hours/week for the fall and winter I predict will fall at around 28. (28 x 7.2 = ~200). This would leave me with around $25 in money per month for everything else (groceries, gas, website stuff, Internet, cell phone, personal).
I would literally have to cut everything down to where there's no bone left in order to move in without changing where and when I work. I don't know if the Tightwad Gazette can help me on this one. This stage of frugalness may be permanently damaging to my social life - or even destroy it.
Unless some freak absense or vacation happens at work, I don't see myself getting anything over 30/week. What would help is if I picked up just a single shift elsewhere in the company (amounting to another $50 in my pocket/week), but even this occurance is becoming more rare.
I would almost have to man up and find a full-time job during the daytime, preferrably something from 6-2. This would give me some break time before working the nights at Shell or driving to a sports event. But this would literally give me ZERO outside time, and just 3 hours of sleep a night.
My reluctance on finding a second job of this nature is the worry of not being physically able to keep up. The last 6-2 job I had was stacking boxes at Crest. After the half-hour drive from Ashton, I would immediately lay on my bed for five hours because I was so sore afterward. This can't happen for a two-job arrangement.
Bottom line: My stamina sucks!
Most of it is the physical wreck that I am in. Part of it is the lack of desire to do such work, as it isn't the kind of work that I enjoy doing. (The kind of work that I enjoy doing is covering high school sporting events).
I hate drinking coffee, as it is too hot and I fear of becoming one of those morning divas. 5-Hour Energy is only good for 5 hours.
I don't want to overwork myself and get a heart attack. Yes, you can get those at 26 years of age. But at the same time, I need to survive.
Survive, and still be able to accomplish my dreams.
If I find myself willing to take on this challenge, hopefully I can find myself able to keep it up in a different set of living quarters far, far away. Perhaps I can actually move away and reside somewhere - the barrier that's preventing me from taking a writing job.
Speaking of the sports journalism stuff, this year I'm working on bulking up my bag of magic tricks in the form of oddball features, columns and the like. I think I have gamers down pat, except for the clock race against deadline. Once I stuff my repitoire with the bag of tricks, that's the lone writing thing that I need to work on. Problem is, I don't have the proper equipment (laptop) to perform this. With my website, I have always had the luxury of taking all night to write a story in time for a morning reader.
The only time I had a laptop while covering a game was this year's Class 4A state football final between Richmond-Burton and Rochester. I'd like to say I did pretty well with real-time writing during that game (in my opinion), but I haven't done this often enough.
Then there's designing the pages of the newspaper. Most newspapers use InDesign, which co$t$. Plus, I just don't know what to design with it outside of newspaper pages. It's one of those things that apparently I need to have, but have no use for personally.
Everything depends on whether I can ride this storm out with this rental offer.
Current Song - Barefoot on the Beach (Michael Franks)
Ever since leaving Sauk Valley Media eight years ago, I have been waiting for that journalism offer to pounce on.
I've heard of many writing openings over this time: LaSalle had a couple, BCR had a couple, QC Times had a couple, and both DeKalb and the Northwest Herald had a couple. In all but one instance, I was unable to find it in me to put together a resume/portfolio because of the high cost of relocation. Simply put, I was not ready to move away and live somewhere on my own.
I didn't know how much rent, water, electric, cable, gas, and phone was all going to add up to over the course of a single month. And whether I would be able to keep up with payments. I never really know a rough figure.
Until an offer was made to me recently.
The living quarters is a small house in the neighborhood that I live in. Probably more living space than I need, but the inside is predominantly white (plants and pictures can fix that). Combined expenses outside of Cable would add up to $700/month.
I make $9/hour at Shell. So let's do the math:
Actual money per hour (after taxes) would be 9 x 0.80 = $7.20/hour.
Hours needed to work/month in order to pay for it would be 700/7.2 = ~ 97.25 (divided by 4 = 24.50).
Basically, I would need to set aside a whole $175/week just for living quarters alone.
My average hours/week for the fall and winter I predict will fall at around 28. (28 x 7.2 = ~200). This would leave me with around $25 in money per month for everything else (groceries, gas, website stuff, Internet, cell phone, personal).
I would literally have to cut everything down to where there's no bone left in order to move in without changing where and when I work. I don't know if the Tightwad Gazette can help me on this one. This stage of frugalness may be permanently damaging to my social life - or even destroy it.
Unless some freak absense or vacation happens at work, I don't see myself getting anything over 30/week. What would help is if I picked up just a single shift elsewhere in the company (amounting to another $50 in my pocket/week), but even this occurance is becoming more rare.
I would almost have to man up and find a full-time job during the daytime, preferrably something from 6-2. This would give me some break time before working the nights at Shell or driving to a sports event. But this would literally give me ZERO outside time, and just 3 hours of sleep a night.
My reluctance on finding a second job of this nature is the worry of not being physically able to keep up. The last 6-2 job I had was stacking boxes at Crest. After the half-hour drive from Ashton, I would immediately lay on my bed for five hours because I was so sore afterward. This can't happen for a two-job arrangement.
Bottom line: My stamina sucks!
Most of it is the physical wreck that I am in. Part of it is the lack of desire to do such work, as it isn't the kind of work that I enjoy doing. (The kind of work that I enjoy doing is covering high school sporting events).
I hate drinking coffee, as it is too hot and I fear of becoming one of those morning divas. 5-Hour Energy is only good for 5 hours.
I don't want to overwork myself and get a heart attack. Yes, you can get those at 26 years of age. But at the same time, I need to survive.
Survive, and still be able to accomplish my dreams.
If I find myself willing to take on this challenge, hopefully I can find myself able to keep it up in a different set of living quarters far, far away. Perhaps I can actually move away and reside somewhere - the barrier that's preventing me from taking a writing job.
Speaking of the sports journalism stuff, this year I'm working on bulking up my bag of magic tricks in the form of oddball features, columns and the like. I think I have gamers down pat, except for the clock race against deadline. Once I stuff my repitoire with the bag of tricks, that's the lone writing thing that I need to work on. Problem is, I don't have the proper equipment (laptop) to perform this. With my website, I have always had the luxury of taking all night to write a story in time for a morning reader.
The only time I had a laptop while covering a game was this year's Class 4A state football final between Richmond-Burton and Rochester. I'd like to say I did pretty well with real-time writing during that game (in my opinion), but I haven't done this often enough.
Then there's designing the pages of the newspaper. Most newspapers use InDesign, which co$t$. Plus, I just don't know what to design with it outside of newspaper pages. It's one of those things that apparently I need to have, but have no use for personally.
Everything depends on whether I can ride this storm out with this rental offer.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
The Significance of 11
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.11.90
Current Song - Amazing Grace
We lost another member of the evening coffee klatch at Shell last week. Brenda Roberts passed away on Thursday night. The Roberts, her and Joe, would come in and sit at the tables most nights at the Shell station when I was working.
As did the Schraders, Dorothy and Bill. Dorothy passed away 14 months ago this week.
Brenda's funeral is today, the 11th of September. 11 years since the attacks. The time of the funeral? 11 a.m.
It seems fitting. Joe and Brenda were married on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1961.
"They closed down City Hall. They closed down the banks on our wedding day," Joe told me one night.
No, this wasn't a little town somewhere near Tupelo. This was Waukegan.
Of course, November 11 is Veterans Day. :)
Current Song - Amazing Grace
We lost another member of the evening coffee klatch at Shell last week. Brenda Roberts passed away on Thursday night. The Roberts, her and Joe, would come in and sit at the tables most nights at the Shell station when I was working.
As did the Schraders, Dorothy and Bill. Dorothy passed away 14 months ago this week.
Brenda's funeral is today, the 11th of September. 11 years since the attacks. The time of the funeral? 11 a.m.
It seems fitting. Joe and Brenda were married on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1961.
"They closed down City Hall. They closed down the banks on our wedding day," Joe told me one night.
No, this wasn't a little town somewhere near Tupelo. This was Waukegan.
Of course, November 11 is Veterans Day. :)
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Answer To This Question Is ...
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.60.90
Current Song - Love Is (Herb Alpert)
I think I got it now.
When my classmates had their little girlfriends, they started out as just friends that were girls.
To think it took me 15 years to realize this.
I have struggled with making friends over the years.
So it all starts with establishing friendships. When it comes to friends and other people, I think there are 5 kinds of friendship. This will look silly, but is the easiest way I can describe it:
1. The one-off meeting: Which is common for me when interviewing people for sports stories.
2. Your surroundings: Those that are around you constantly, my schoolmates, sportswriting colleagues and co-workers/customers.
3. Friends: Just like #2, but you'll talk to them maybe once or twice weekly within or outside of the common surrounding.
4. Good Friends: Just like #3, but the meetings occur more often. You do things together regularly.
5. Best Friends: You are literally inseperable, and such a bond is determined to last forever.
When it comes to girls, #5 pretty much means we were meant for each other. I think what it takes to find your true love is to achieve that #5 level. I look at this list and all of the girls that I know, and over time only a few #3's come to mind. I'd say most of the people I know fall under #2. Getting to that #3 level is where I struggle quite a bit.
It would be foolish to try to push these up the ladder just to find true love. I've come to realize that these things should happen naturally. This build-up process is how I believe it happens.
I guess I was an idiot back then. Call this a different process in this search. I should have done this years ago.
Current Song - Love Is (Herb Alpert)
I think I got it now.
When my classmates had their little girlfriends, they started out as just friends that were girls.
To think it took me 15 years to realize this.
I have struggled with making friends over the years.
So it all starts with establishing friendships. When it comes to friends and other people, I think there are 5 kinds of friendship. This will look silly, but is the easiest way I can describe it:
1. The one-off meeting: Which is common for me when interviewing people for sports stories.
2. Your surroundings: Those that are around you constantly, my schoolmates, sportswriting colleagues and co-workers/customers.
3. Friends: Just like #2, but you'll talk to them maybe once or twice weekly within or outside of the common surrounding.
4. Good Friends: Just like #3, but the meetings occur more often. You do things together regularly.
5. Best Friends: You are literally inseperable, and such a bond is determined to last forever.
When it comes to girls, #5 pretty much means we were meant for each other. I think what it takes to find your true love is to achieve that #5 level. I look at this list and all of the girls that I know, and over time only a few #3's come to mind. I'd say most of the people I know fall under #2. Getting to that #3 level is where I struggle quite a bit.
It would be foolish to try to push these up the ladder just to find true love. I've come to realize that these things should happen naturally. This build-up process is how I believe it happens.
I guess I was an idiot back then. Call this a different process in this search. I should have done this years ago.
Monday, September 3, 2012
No Turning Back Now
While cleaning out my desk drawer, I stumbled upon a drawing that I made while blowing off my Psychology class.
This was around 2006 or so.
I can't remember the meaning of it when I drew this, but I think this shows the feeling that my failures at love were my fault and my fault only. The pieces represent the places in my heart and they are being shattered by my own obstacles.
I guess there's no turning back now.
If you click on the picture, you can see the full-blown version.
(Those things on the sides are supposed to be hammers)
I await the angry responses.
This was around 2006 or so.
I can't remember the meaning of it when I drew this, but I think this shows the feeling that my failures at love were my fault and my fault only. The pieces represent the places in my heart and they are being shattered by my own obstacles.
I guess there's no turning back now.
If you click on the picture, you can see the full-blown version.
(Those things on the sides are supposed to be hammers)
I await the angry responses.
Extreme Makeover, Cody Edition --- Part I
Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.10.90
Current Song - While My Guitar Gently Weeps (The Beatles (George Harrison))
Two weeks have passed since writing about ceasing even the tiniest romantic thoughts of the girls I knew in the past. The slate has been wiped clean and it's time to start all over.
I'm in the aftermath of all of this. I hear nothing. I see nothing but a huge mess around me, like a tornado went through my mind in this crush-erasing process.
I'm personally a disheveled mess.
One of the best pieces of advice given to me over the years is to not change who you are for nobody. I look at myself now, and if I remain the same I'm not going to get anywhere.
I think the whole point of "don't change who you are" was meant for the inside of yourself, your personality and such. I look at my inside as a shiny, marble hotel lobby. I look at my outside as a bad-side-of-Detroit-like hotel exterior.
To try to make things better, I am constructing a 3-point improvement plan to help make things better for me: Environmental/Surroundings, Outside/Physical, and Inside/Mental.
I guess this is a problem that stems from having a big heart: I have cared so much about other people that I haven't cared a lot about myself. But I feel that if I care too much about myself, I'll turn into one of those pius, pompous, arrogant, world-revolves-around-me people I can't stand.
First thing's first: Try to make an effort to be somewhat neat and tidy. Everything around me is a mess. However, I have to try to not develop something like obsessive-compulsive.
Next after that: I got to get rid of at least 150 pounds. At first glance, I look like a liability to someone. This is by far the hardest thing to do.
Finally: The continuation to improve conversation and to see things through multiple pairs of shoes.
Environmental/Surroundings
I plan on spending today - Labor Day, which I asked for off of work - on trying to get my room and office cleaned and to establish a routine that helps me ensure the long-term survival of these changes.
When you head up the stairs to the second floor of my house, you'll bump right into an oscillating fan that blows toward my computer chair. When you get to the landing, the door to my bedroom is on the right, with my computer area to the left. This serves as an extension of my bedroom because there are quite a few things in it (plus, this is the only computer in the house, and this is a safer location than people running around in my bedroom).
Right next to my door is a whiteboard that still has spring sports assignments written on it. I just never got around to updating it every week. I thought this would help me organize things better, but since I haven't updated it, the whole thing just doesn't make sense.
A bunch of cords are on the floor underneath the whiteboard. These are for the computer area, and is all hooked to a tripp-lite surge that leads under my bedroom door and into my room.
Right now on my computer desk, Danny has yet to pitch his two cans of Java Monsters. I still have yet to pitch my Nestle water bottle. Things are stacked to the left of my computer screen (from top to bottom): an extra set of headphones, the football program from Harlem/Boylan, the notepad I used at that football game, my copy of Bastian's History of Whiteside County, Danny's camera, my notebook from the Dubuque Think Session last week, my planner (another thing used for organizational purposes that I never use), and some of Mike's mail.
On the wall behind my computer is a spot usually reserved for my complimentary IHSA wall calendar (they have yet to send them out), and to the right is a corkboard that I have used for over 15 years. It takes a great amount of effort to reach over and tack something on it, thus I rarely use it. On the corkboard now are a few buttons, a picture of my uncle Scott and Great-Grandpa Cutter, an old Merrill School ribbon from 1944, a Chicago-to-Elburn Pink Line schedule, ticket stubs from Rock Island, Ottawa and the IHSA State Basketball Finals, an Ernie Banks autograph, and a business card from an editor at the Freeport paper, who is no longer there.
To the left of my desk are two two-drawer file cabinets stacked on top of each other. There are magnets, but the only thing on it is a piece of paper from a supersectional basketball game that I covered. It was on the media table and it reads "Illinois Wesleyan welcomes ... Coby Carter, NIU Sports Beat".
On top of this stack of cabinets is a bin for all of my game notes, rosters, programs, etc. It is emptied when full and put in my file cabinet when so. Also on to top of it is a chrome-green colored paper weight I bought on an art trip to Milwaukee in college.
I won't even get into detail about what's in my file cabinets and desk drawers. Let alone my bedroom and closet. I will say this about my closet: some shirts will be demoted to lounging clothes.
I'm even tired of writing about all of this.
I guess you can call me a borderline hoarder. I'd like to spend all day up here and clear things out. I tried having rummage sales, but these worked to absolutely NO avail. I can't make a profit off of this stuff, so I'm just considering donating it.
OR, on an absolute longshot, bundling and trading for things I do need. I want to set aside things that I don't want, but shouldn't really throw away. If the thrift stores won't take them, I'll simply snap a picture of these things and try to trade them away.
Whatever I do want to trade, I'll post pictures of on this Blog. I've seen many of my friends use something on Facebook called the Spring Cleaning Exchange. Perhaps if I'm really in the need of dumping stuff, I could start using that.
One of the hallmarks of the laziness that I have unfortunately obtained are the piles of folded clothes still in the baskets they were put in when laundry was done. Translation - I have no dresser. The cat will get on them. I need a dresser.
Also inside my room is a large plastic bucket (the ones commonly used for play toys and such), which I bought for a trash can purpose. This should help me get rid of the stuff in my bedroom, my closet, in my desk drawers and my file cabinets.
After the upstairs has been conquered, I'd like to work on my car.
All told, I'm trying to make things look presentable. Plus, getting rid of this stuff should make it easier for me of a moving-out takes place.
It's 4:30 a.m. as I post this. I'm going to work on getting this accomplished. Wish me luck!
***
The other two facets of the improvement plan, Outside/Physical and Inside/Mental, will be written about in later entries.
Current Song - While My Guitar Gently Weeps (The Beatles (George Harrison))
Two weeks have passed since writing about ceasing even the tiniest romantic thoughts of the girls I knew in the past. The slate has been wiped clean and it's time to start all over.
I'm in the aftermath of all of this. I hear nothing. I see nothing but a huge mess around me, like a tornado went through my mind in this crush-erasing process.
I'm personally a disheveled mess.
One of the best pieces of advice given to me over the years is to not change who you are for nobody. I look at myself now, and if I remain the same I'm not going to get anywhere.
I think the whole point of "don't change who you are" was meant for the inside of yourself, your personality and such. I look at my inside as a shiny, marble hotel lobby. I look at my outside as a bad-side-of-Detroit-like hotel exterior.
To try to make things better, I am constructing a 3-point improvement plan to help make things better for me: Environmental/Surroundings, Outside/Physical, and Inside/Mental.
I guess this is a problem that stems from having a big heart: I have cared so much about other people that I haven't cared a lot about myself. But I feel that if I care too much about myself, I'll turn into one of those pius, pompous, arrogant, world-revolves-around-me people I can't stand.
First thing's first: Try to make an effort to be somewhat neat and tidy. Everything around me is a mess. However, I have to try to not develop something like obsessive-compulsive.
Next after that: I got to get rid of at least 150 pounds. At first glance, I look like a liability to someone. This is by far the hardest thing to do.
Finally: The continuation to improve conversation and to see things through multiple pairs of shoes.
Environmental/Surroundings
I plan on spending today - Labor Day, which I asked for off of work - on trying to get my room and office cleaned and to establish a routine that helps me ensure the long-term survival of these changes.
When you head up the stairs to the second floor of my house, you'll bump right into an oscillating fan that blows toward my computer chair. When you get to the landing, the door to my bedroom is on the right, with my computer area to the left. This serves as an extension of my bedroom because there are quite a few things in it (plus, this is the only computer in the house, and this is a safer location than people running around in my bedroom).
Right next to my door is a whiteboard that still has spring sports assignments written on it. I just never got around to updating it every week. I thought this would help me organize things better, but since I haven't updated it, the whole thing just doesn't make sense.
A bunch of cords are on the floor underneath the whiteboard. These are for the computer area, and is all hooked to a tripp-lite surge that leads under my bedroom door and into my room.
Right now on my computer desk, Danny has yet to pitch his two cans of Java Monsters. I still have yet to pitch my Nestle water bottle. Things are stacked to the left of my computer screen (from top to bottom): an extra set of headphones, the football program from Harlem/Boylan, the notepad I used at that football game, my copy of Bastian's History of Whiteside County, Danny's camera, my notebook from the Dubuque Think Session last week, my planner (another thing used for organizational purposes that I never use), and some of Mike's mail.
On the wall behind my computer is a spot usually reserved for my complimentary IHSA wall calendar (they have yet to send them out), and to the right is a corkboard that I have used for over 15 years. It takes a great amount of effort to reach over and tack something on it, thus I rarely use it. On the corkboard now are a few buttons, a picture of my uncle Scott and Great-Grandpa Cutter, an old Merrill School ribbon from 1944, a Chicago-to-Elburn Pink Line schedule, ticket stubs from Rock Island, Ottawa and the IHSA State Basketball Finals, an Ernie Banks autograph, and a business card from an editor at the Freeport paper, who is no longer there.
To the left of my desk are two two-drawer file cabinets stacked on top of each other. There are magnets, but the only thing on it is a piece of paper from a supersectional basketball game that I covered. It was on the media table and it reads "Illinois Wesleyan welcomes ... Coby Carter, NIU Sports Beat".
On top of this stack of cabinets is a bin for all of my game notes, rosters, programs, etc. It is emptied when full and put in my file cabinet when so. Also on to top of it is a chrome-green colored paper weight I bought on an art trip to Milwaukee in college.
I won't even get into detail about what's in my file cabinets and desk drawers. Let alone my bedroom and closet. I will say this about my closet: some shirts will be demoted to lounging clothes.
I'm even tired of writing about all of this.
I guess you can call me a borderline hoarder. I'd like to spend all day up here and clear things out. I tried having rummage sales, but these worked to absolutely NO avail. I can't make a profit off of this stuff, so I'm just considering donating it.
OR, on an absolute longshot, bundling and trading for things I do need. I want to set aside things that I don't want, but shouldn't really throw away. If the thrift stores won't take them, I'll simply snap a picture of these things and try to trade them away.
Whatever I do want to trade, I'll post pictures of on this Blog. I've seen many of my friends use something on Facebook called the Spring Cleaning Exchange. Perhaps if I'm really in the need of dumping stuff, I could start using that.
One of the hallmarks of the laziness that I have unfortunately obtained are the piles of folded clothes still in the baskets they were put in when laundry was done. Translation - I have no dresser. The cat will get on them. I need a dresser.
Also inside my room is a large plastic bucket (the ones commonly used for play toys and such), which I bought for a trash can purpose. This should help me get rid of the stuff in my bedroom, my closet, in my desk drawers and my file cabinets.
After the upstairs has been conquered, I'd like to work on my car.
All told, I'm trying to make things look presentable. Plus, getting rid of this stuff should make it easier for me of a moving-out takes place.
It's 4:30 a.m. as I post this. I'm going to work on getting this accomplished. Wish me luck!
***
The other two facets of the improvement plan, Outside/Physical and Inside/Mental, will be written about in later entries.
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