Sunday, November 25, 2012

Enough Is Enough, And It's Time To Change

Cutter's Log - Special Entry

It bears repeating, but it's the truth. This has been a very difficult time for me.

One year ago, I considered myself to be at the bottom of my world. I was without a job, and it was difficult for me to find something up my alley. It was either try to fight through something I knew I couldn't do, or continue to hold out and wait to find light at the end of the tunnel.

It was at last year's IHSA football state finals when I felt renewed in a way. Or, at least I felt that way. It turned out to be a disaster for me personally, and during the summer I had to put on the brakes and start all over again. I rambled for 30 minutes on a video about how things were going to change on NISB, and put a plan in place for this year.

I'm still trying to recover from that seven-month period that I was out of work. Then I got an opportunity I couldn't pass up: my own house.

For years I had tried to multi-task things and be flexible. I am now coming to the realization that this is putting a pain on me. There is simply too much to do right now. Managing a home – something that I have to do for the rest of my life – is becoming more and more of a priority. Factor in my real job into this and there's literally little time to devote to things that I need to focus on.

This gives me a headache when trying to do that and keep a commitment to a website that I consider my presence in the high school sports scene and news media scene.

Fighting some back pain, a minor headache, some stomach issues, a questionable transmission in my car, little sleep from working on Black Friday, and maintaining a small budget, I went down to Champaign on Friday to go cover Stockton, Alleman and Morris in the football finals. As I was drving down I-74 from Bloomington, I had to fight myself to keep awake. I may have run a stop light on Neil Street, I don't know.

Trying to open the door at Gate 10 at Memorial Stadium was quite a task. I fell over as the wind held the door shut. Turns out I was one of the first media guys in the press box. Nowhere to take a nap. I needed one. So I kept awake, knowing I was sick and was going to try to muscle it all out up until the end of Alleman's game. I ran into a couple of friends, and I had to get up to talk to them because I was too out of it to maintain a conversation.

Covering Stockton's game was a bit too much for me and I couldn't concentrate on anything. I couldn't keep this up any longer and left at halftime back to my hotel room ... in Bloomington. As I went down the elevator I bumped into to Matt, who's in charge of the media. I said something and I can't remember what I said. I needed help to push out the Memorial Stadium door. After sitting in my car for a few minutes I slowly made my way back to Bloomington: through I-57 to I-74 and going maybe 55 miles per hour on the right lane with the cruise on. I had booked the hotel in Bloomington because all of Champaign was full, and stupid me didn't think of LeRoy or Mahomet.

I got the the hotel and I must have said “I have an appointment” because the lady there mentioned that when I checked out. I had enough in me to find the room, but not before falling up the stairs. I plopped on the bed and lied there for a while. I woke back up some time later and just lied there with my eyes open.

It was 3 p.m. maybe? All I could do was get on my phone and watch the Facebook feed come and go. I felt a little better, and for a brief moment thought I could race back down to Champaign to cover Alleman's game. But then it came to me that it wouldn't be fair to those from Stockton that I covered the other two and not theirs. I even pulled the plug on the Morris game. (Now I find out my teams were 0-3 this weekend. Sorry guys.)

All while lying there, staring up at the ceiling, I wondered why was all of this happening to me?

Well, I took on way too much, for starters. I felt like I HAD to be in Champaign and it was my duty to be there, regardless of whatever condition I was in. I didn't volunteer to work Black Friday at the gas station, and didn't quite know how to handle this, and the Thanksgiving gathering the day before. It was a long string of things in a row, and I failed at it. While working Black Friday at the gas station was a blast (a couple of friends of mine even brought over some food), this whole experience was a disaster and perhaps even an embarrassment.

While going in that thought pattern, I thought back to my car accident I had outside of Lacon in February. I was en route to the Varna Midland sectional semifinal in girls basketball (the game was between Marquette and Wethersfield) when my car slid into a ditch. I told the Marshall County Sheriff to tow my car to Henry and asked if he drive me over to Midland High. I called my dad to pick me up, all the way from Sterling. I was dead set on covering the other sectional semifinal between Annawan and Hinckley-Big Rock (two programs that I enjoyed covering that year) and did NOT want to miss this game. My dad ended up dropping me off in Henry to get the car, and then drove over to Midland to cover the game.

My parents chided me throughout the week and told me that this was not commitment, but stupidity; and that I should have taken care of these problems before covering more games. I had the Thursday final on my agenda, too, but wound up giving that assignment to Bill. That alone told me to not head back to cover Alleman on Friday night.

Taking care of problems became the dominant thought of the whole hotel stay. The “biggest” problem that I have right now is my health and wellness.

I have constantly found myself wearing out after coming back from covering games. In other words, I didn't have the gumption to write the article when I walked in the house. The first thing I would do is fall asleep. Combine that with a poor diet, and all hell happens. My lack of concentration and lack of commitment has caused me to abandon many projects I had lined up for this fall sports season. I'd work the sidelines at football games and the media tables at volleyball matches, but not put things together either at all or in a timely manner. I started to realize this after the weekend I had at State Volleyball with Keith, Dakota, Riverdale and Richmond-Burton (and how forever it took for me to write these articles), and putting off coverage I did for the Morris-Sacred Heart-Griffin football semifinal.

All that and juggling around a house.

I already had a hiatus already. It would feel foolish to have another one. However, after thinking about it, if I continue to go forward I am just going to get worse.

So I'm announcing another hiatus from the website. An indefinite one.

Well, not totally indefinite. I still plan on writing the occasional column whenever I get the chance. I'm just taking a break from traveling to games and sitting through them. My concentration is not there, and I feel that I should be at the top of my game in these situations. I am not. I don't want to give my area sub-par coverage because my area doesn't deserve that.

340 is unthinkable for someone my height and someone my age. Goal No. 1 is 300 and I can start to pick up the work from there, but only lightly.

Right now, my mind is on trying to get my health and wellness in order.

As I am writing this, my back is killing me. I can't stand up straight. I have to work tonight. That's real important money I'm missing out on if I call off.

Why is my back killing me? Probably because of my weight. This has been an ongoing problem for years. I thought I had it tackled a couple of years ago, when I dropped 40 pounds from my then-highest weight I had been. So much for that. I can stand to lose, I don't know, 150??

Trying to lose weight on a budget is very tough. I am not at the point financially to spend money on a program and be committed to it. Plus, fasting does not help. Eating right is a problem, especially when on the fly because of tight time commitments. I think the first thing I need to do is get my time management in order – making a plan and sticking to it to a T.

There's a running topic on the Turk's Place message board that is devoted to weight loss challenges. It's called the “Fat Man Challenge.” It's motto is “Do More, Eat Less.” I'll post my introductory topic later.

My weight is the root of whatever problems that I have. I can't fix my autism. But I can fix my weight. I have listened to people say just how great they feel after being lighter. They can move more, they can do more, they feel great and think they can do anything in the world. That's where I aspire to be.

“You know that fat kid from school, he's lost a lot of weight,” – I can name a few people that fall under that statement. Not me, unfortunately.

I need look no further than the people I've been around. I have seen many classmates drop a bunch of weight and I know that they have never felt better in their lives. I'm going the opposite direction. They were in the same boat as I was when it came to finding a significant person in their lives. While they have felt better and feel happy in this regard, I have felt worse and felt sicker.

I have rambled on and on over the years about how unlucky I am at love. I feel that me being unhealthy has caused most of my aspirations to fall to dust. Sure, I have aimed high. People have criticized me for that. But the more I think of it, I'm glad I aimed high because it sets the standard for where I need to be. I choose to learn from my failures. I can't aim high at the same targets now, since much time has passed since those days.

My weight has affected my social life. Then it has affected my ability to perform my sports journalism duties. I can't continue to go forward like this.

I think that as I get lighter, more great things will come to my life.

I want to be that “Super Cody” that can do anything and everything, breaking out of the big shell that is the current me.

Of course, this goes against a belief that many people have told me over the years of, “Don't change who you are.” However, I have no choice. If I continue to go on the route I am going, I don't think I'll live for much longer. I need to do this to survive.

It's the “me” that should have been me a long time ago. With the love and caring still a part of me always.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Things I've Learned At Home

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.81.11
Current Song - Live and Let Die (Paul McCartney)

It's been almost 20 days since I have ventured out on my own two feet. Little by little I am learning a thing or two about life on my own and maintaining upkeep at a higher rate than when I lived with my parents.

I can't say enough about my parents. Even when they knew I needed to do certain things on my own time, they kept doing them for me. Things like buying food and even doing laundry are the two biggest ones. Now I have to manage EVERYTHING on my own - things that I never even had a chance to manage when I lived with my parents. While they are the go-to help, I am trying to learn a little more about putting my own fingerprints on the way I do things, rather than have everything be a carbon copy.

Almost all of my classmate friends started doing this around age 18, or before. Eight years later I am slowly catching up. Does this mean I live longer?

Here are just some of the things I am learning now (and most of these are truly embarassing and worth a facepalm):

1. Never stuff clothes in the washer - My first go-around with my own laundry resulted in damp clothes and detergent spots on most of my blacks.

2. Whip the wrinkles away from clothes - Another reason why my clothes wound up being so damp was because I didn't do this, and tossed lumps of clothes from washer to dryer.

3. Turn off the heater when I'm not home - What exactly am I heating when I'm not home?

4. In order to cook hamburgers, you need hamburger buns. In order to cook hot dogs, you need hot dog buns. They should be bought at the same time.

5. MUCH more time is devoted to straightening things out, such as putting things where they belong.

6. The longer dirty clothes are in a hamper, the more they stink.

7. Bread is meant to be used, and used often.

8. Because its now just mine, and no one elses, it's wise to shut off the computer when I'm not using it.

9. I need to look for those air freshener sprays that do not spray like string.

10. While the Dollar Tree may be cheap, some of the quality sucks. Try shaving with those. Or better yet, shaving more often. Then they won't hurt.

11. A colder house means more time under a blanket, and more likelihood to fall asleep when you don't want to.

12. Some waste products make great scratch paper.

13. Actually dry the dishes before setting them on the drying rack.

14. While I do not throw out much trash or recyclables on a weekly basis, that's no excuse for not moving the garbage bins to the side of the street EVERY week. Instead of letting stuff add up and then rolling it out.

15. There is life without cable.

16. There is no reason to mutter quietly to myself when I'm at home - no one can hear me. This should also help me from not muttering often and talk louder and clearly.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Memories of Highland

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.51.11
Current Song - Harbor Lights (The Platters)

I recently made the trek to Orangeville High School for a basketball game. I drove on some familiar roads. These were the same roads I drove back and forth on as I was attending journalism classes at Highland Community College in Freeport.

The up and down hills of Freeport Road. The winding curves of Fairground Road.

One day up there, I went to the Goodwill store to find some tape cassettes for my car (as it does not have CD capabilities). One of the tapes I bought was the Doobie Brothers' "Minute By Minute" album. For most of that school year, this would be the only tape in my car and I would listen to the album in its entirity, front and back, again and again. The songs became synonomous with the roads I would take up north.

So en route to Orangeville, I popped in the cassette.

Any time that I go to Freeport for something, I try to stop by Highland (where I spent the 2008-09 year) and pick up a copy of the "Highland Chronicle" newspaper. I paid the ol' college a visit, but just in enough time to pick up a paper.

Seeing the newsroom again brought back memories of the long nights I would spend in there writing articles, editing pieces, and surfing the Internet (when my home computer had failed).

It was at Highland that I learned a lot about the role of the college newspaper, and a lot about supervising a staff of young and old writers.

This opportunity came when Sauk's paper was axed due to budget cuts, and Highland offered its journalism classes for free.

I served as sports editor during the first semester, and had one writer under me. When he didn't return for the following semester, my "editorship" turned into that of "associate editor." I could have been THE editor, but I preferred that someone from the area and more familiar with HCC than I was take the spot. I was, by far, the most qualified person there: four months of actual newspaper experience, and two years of college newspaper experience (plus all that NISB and PSO experience).

In my role as Associate Editor, I was charged with the copy and proofreading. I wanted to bring a true journalism culture to the newsroom, but as the semester went on I kind of resorted to the fact that this staff was just not ready for AP style, news writing and interviewing. I was proofreading a bunch of Composition 101 papers, pretty much. No one could understand where I was coming from, and I think many were frustrated with me in the process.

In trying to bring a true journalism culture to the newsroom, I offered to bring in many newspapers from different areas that I have traveled to. "The box" included the QC Times, SVN, Rockford paper, Peoria Journal Star, New York Times, and many, many more including the papers I had brought back from my trip to Tucson. I collected these papers in hope that this group, and future groups, would look at them and come up with ideas and reading material to help them put together a unique newspaper.

The one article that I won an ICCJA award for was a volleyball preview piece. Highland had not participated in the ICCJA for quite some time, and I brought the idea to our advisor, Sam. After all, I had participated in the workships when I was at Sauk. We had to get the fee for the membership dues approved by the administration, and we were in business.

One of our writers, Jordan, won an award for a Music Review piece. However, perhaps the best thrill that I got out of all of the awards was that our editor, Marques, took first place for the logo design. His award was in an actual plaque. I can remember him personally thanking me for providing this opportunity. That meant more to me than the award that I won.

I also wanted to expand the presence of the Chronicle. I penned the column that introduced the newspaper's website (thehighlandchronicle.com), another wonderful work of art by Marques. Another big idea was the expansion of circulation.

The core areas of any newspaper are: advertising, editorial, marketing, production and circulation. I was the de facto circulation director as well. This is a role I took a lot of pride in.

When I first came to Highland, we had literally hundreds of past editions lying in a stack outside our advisor's office. This stack was expected to grow as the school year carried on. We had mentioned circulation in passing during a class session, and I inquired as to what areas outside of campus we send the paper to. I think when Sam replied that we had sent copies to the Jo Daviess County Prison for inmates to read did the thought of mass circulation come to me.

Finally, that stack of papers would have some use. I delivered them to gas stations around Freeport, Dakota, Rock City, Lanark, Stockton, Lena, Warren, Winslow, Forreston and Winnebago. Whether this worked, I will never know. I think the best spot was at Johnson's Stockton location, where I seemed to always come back to an empty slot.

My inital thought was that expanding the circulation of the Chronicle would lead to more content about college-related matters, as well as serving as a recruiting tool for future students (both young and old).

I don't think anyone else carried on what I brought to Highland, but hopefully I left somewhat of a lasting impact.

When the opportunity arises, I will pen my thoughts about "Circulation and the College Newspaper."

Monday, November 12, 2012

Trying to Keep Afloat

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.21.11
Current Song - Ride Captain Ride (Blues Image)

Getting settled has taken its time.

I'm still not ready to get the website back up and running in full force. I'm having to resort to spreading out my State Volleyball coverage over the course of the entire week, little by little. After that, I've got more plans for semifinal football and season-opening girls basketball.

I need to get the clean-up things done, because if I don't do it right away it will NEVER get done. What's on my list of house things to do?

Dishes
Buy vacuum bags, clean out the vacuum, vacuum the house
Clean out my desk and file cabinets, seperating website stuff from personal stuff
Clean my bathroom
Unpack my bedroom
Hang more stuff around the house
Set up my finance desk

One thing that I have noticed with the groceries: Buying plenty of them has sort of helped me save money in the long run.


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Time For a House Update, Don't Ya Think?

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.80.11
Current Song - Ladies Night (Kool and the Gang)

My last post was quite a while ago. I'm about 90% settled in at the moment.

There are still four boxes of journalism archive stuff remaining in my old bedroom, and that's it. Today I unpacked my office and set up the Internet connection, and can finally start writing from home.


HOUSE TOUR

I live in a neighborhood in Sterling that is historically called "Little Cicero." It is so named because at one point in time, it was the bad side of Sterling. I am one block from the Dillon Home and right along the bikepath in town that leads to the Pedestrian Bridge over the river and to the Canal. My grandparents have lived in the neighborhood for nearly 40 years, and are literally 50 feet away from me.

"Little Cicero" doesn't have much: The Palms tavern, Mr. Nifty Cleaners, a hair salon, a small recording studio and the State's Attorney's law office represent half of the business district that is otherwise empty. The train runs through about 100 feet from me, so I hear them each night. Speaking of night, I have windows that look out to the river and the pedestrian bridge, and at night the lights reflect across the water for a pretty sight. The neighborhood is home to 14th Avenue Park, so the kids have somewhere to play and go sledding at.

Off to the house. Starting with the porch, I have to worry about tracking in mud in the house. On my first laundry run (more on that later), I had to carry baskets to my car. The Water Company is doing work along the side, and I stepped in some mud and accidentally left a trail in my living room. I'm on the way to do laundry, and now I have to stop everything and get this carpet in order. While on my hands and knees, I said to myself that I was going to start taking my shoes off at the porch. Likewise, if anyone comes in the house I need their shoes off.

The porch itself has got my baseball/softball chair and my bike. That's it.

The living room was the first room to complete. I have the furniture arranged so that it circles around a corner, where my entertainment center sits. I have one of those "free tv's" I got at a rummage sale on it, plus my little jukebox radio on the top. An anniversary photo of my parents is next to the jukebox. So far, the radio is the only thing working at the moment.

My bedroom is a mess, and still has to be unpacked. Interesting story about the bedroom: when this house was first built, that was the dining room. Where closets are now was once an entry way to the kitchen. The porch is not original, and right when you enter the house, immediately to the left is my bedroom door. However, there is a window that leads into my bedroom from the front porch. Sounds scary, huh? But this is perfect for when people are at the door and I am sleeping, wanting to find out who it is. I have lately had trouble getting the blinds straight, and for one night I had open blinds looking in.

I have cut the living room in half, with the rear of it acting as a mini den. I have all of my books on a bookshelf there, as well as an old dresser drawer that I will be using as a "finance desk." I learned this tip from a book that if you have a seperate desk for strictly finances, you'll be more likely to tend to them and keep them up-to-date.

Go through the back of the living room (and pass the linen closet I also double as a laundry hamper) and you'll come upon a five-point hallway. What is that? It's like an upstairs landing, but is on the ground level and leads to five different rooms. Five? Spin around in the middle of this landing, and you'll hit five doors in succession. One leads to the living room, and going clockwise: the attic, kitchen, bathroom and office. On the tops of the doors are small flat spaces, and I put some of my signs, awards and such on the top of them.

The attic was going to be a bedroom at one time, and is unfinished. I'm using it for storage space, and when I moved I found out that I had a lot of stuff that I really didn't need in the living room.

My kitchen is small, but makes do. I have a glass table that sits next to a window (got it for $5 at Dalan's rummage sale), and I have all of my cabinets and shelves filled.

We'll skip the bathroom.

Finally, my favorite room in the house ... my office! This house was meant for two bedrooms, and I converted the smallest one into office space. My previous office space was on the upstairs landing in my parent's house (in order for Dan to get into his bedroom, he had to squeeze through my chair and straddle the wall). Going into my office from the hallway, you'll find my Sterling High School varsity football sign from 2001 on the top, with an NISB sign underneath it. My door is always open, and on the door I have a basketball hoop commemorating the 1999 Rock Falls Boys Basketball team (I try to be as diverse as possible here).

The office space is only 10' x 7', but does well. It's got a closet for all of my office and media accessories. My desk is set up in the center, computer and all. It's like going into someone's work office. After all, NISB is pretty much work, isn't it? How many sportswriters in northern Illinois have their own office room? When setting it all up, I had to fumble around all of the wires, which was tough work. I have yet to clean out my desk and file cabinets, so the office isn't entirely unpacked.

I plan on having pictures on my desk of people important to me, because I think I will be spending considerable time there. The first picture I have is that of the Rock Falls Softball girls, the supersectional team picture from 2004. Next to it is one of my grandparents, and next to that is one of my Uncle Scott and Great-grandpa Cutter (opposite sides of the family in the same picture!). The immediate family pics are in the living room and I'm working on space for additional pics.

Last, but not least, the basement. As mentioned before, it's my winter jogging course. That's all for now.

Moving everything was a pain in the butt! You don't realize it until you actually do it.


GROCERY SHOPPING

One of the first things I had to do was pick out groceries. I have rarely, if not ever, shopped for groceries in bulk for myself.

I was on a tight budget and wanted to try to balance quality with the wallet.

My plan of attack started two weeks ago when I went to the three 24-hour grocery stores in Sterling (County Market, Wal-Mart and Kroger) to compare prices. Then almost out of insistance, my mom took me out to Aldi and Dollar Tree to find grocery items. Mom basically stocked my pantries full.

Then it was time to clamp down on price comparisons and cutting coupons. This was where I was introduced to Wal-Mart's "Price Match Guarentee." I took this to the test when I took a Hy-Vee flyer from one of the QC Times papers I cut down at work. Hy-Vee sometimes has two-day sales, and I took that to Wal-Mart. I got 2-liters of Dr. Pepper for 69 cents and Banquet TV dinners for 78 cents, as well as bottles of Heet for $1.19 (from a Farm and Fleet flyer). The Price Match stuff works well for trying to consolidate shopping trips into one stop, rather than bouncing around from sale to sale.

So I keep a close eye on flyers from Hy-Vee, County Market, Kroger, Walgreens and CVS. I have had some really good deals from CVS lately. Three boxes of Cheerios, after coupons, came out to $1.33 each. I was finding darn good deals on cereal to the point where adding coupons beats the big box of Aldi corn flakes ($1.49). I finally had to tell myself that I have ENOUGH cereal. I have seven boxes of cereal in the kitchen, and they'll all run out by February I bet.

Another thing I keep my eye on are deals on Campbell's soup. Most coupon flyers have something for the soup. I decided to try something out, and live like a pauper. I bought one can of the soup, heated it, and put it in a bowl. One can filled me up. CVS had a deal recently where one can of chicken noodle came out to 56 cents after a coupon. This was before County Market had its' brand for 2/$1 (I decided on just two cans of these). I think I got carried away on the Campbells, and have maybe 20 cans of chicken noodle soup in my pantry.

You just have to be on the constant lookout, and dedicate time into it for it to work out. If you don't look at flyers like a hawk and don't cut out coupons, I urge you to try this. I think you'll save at least 35% (or more) of your grocery expenses, and without having to resort to generics in the process.

I can also give out another bit of advice: the longer you hold on to your coupons, the better. My Cheerios deal at CVS was advertised just three days before my Cheerios coupons were about to expire.

I thought grocery shopping was going to be a pain in the butt at first. But digging through flyers and cutting coupons was the fun challenge for me.

When it comes to coupons, please do follow the rules on them. Even the Dollar Tree accepts these manufacturer coupons. At places like Walgreens and Dollar General, you can use one of their coupons AND a "manu" for one item (like double coupons). And I think Kroger does Double Coupons up to $1.00. Plus, when you do any price matching at Wal-Mart, coupons work for that as well.

The Hy-Vee stuff works great for price matching at Wal-Mart, as the nearest stores are in Silvis, DeKalb and Peru. I have not, however, tried price matching on things from Best Buy and CompUSA (a suburban outlet whose closest store is Naperville).

If I find anything "brand name" that I can create a good deal out of, I'll try to post them on Facebook.


***

This concludes the first Blog Entry I have written from my new house. I have to balance my finances, run to CVS, eat lunch, cash my paycheck, pack up for Normal this weekend and gas up --- all before going to work at 5 p.m. tonight.