Monday, February 22, 2010

Bored Again

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.22.20
Current Song - 1234 (Feist)

It's just past 3:45 p.m. and I have an hour left to kill before I go to work. Class went okay today, I started on an assignment and got halfway done. The T-shirt assignment is falling through quickly, it just got to the point where he just wanted me to turn it in and get it over with. After this assignment I'm working on now, there's another one that involves the T-shirt. Sigh.

I'm trying to find a informative speech topic. I have to write something up, and then present it on Wendesday. Two-to-Four sources. Five-to-seven minutes. I think I have something going on a little bit of local history involving alternate reality. To be worked on Tuesday morning, maybe even after I get done with work tonight.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Even More Plans

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.02.20
Current Song - Peg (Steely Dan)

I'm beginning to prepare for my little adventures within the next month. I found me a Super 8 with a business center in Washington, which is a few miles from Peoria. $40/night for next weekend, and $57/night for the small school boys State Final weekend. I'll be doing the ol' drive down-drive up for the large school boys. I'll make my reservations tonight or tomorrow.

It won't be my first alone-at-a-hotel experience. I earned a free room at the Isle of Capri in Bettendorf a couple of years back. It'll just be my first experience with my credit card.

I also found a hotel for my Cooperstown trip. I'm taking 2/3 of my remaining savings for the vacation. Hopefully I don't spend it all.

Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be making lists of what to take, etc. I'm just as elaborate in planning everything like my Mom is.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

$$$ to be a bit tight

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.81.20
Current Song - Deacon Blues (Steely Dan)


This week will be a tough one as far as money is concerned. My second Sauk tuition payment is this week, plus my website fee is due within the week. Plus I'm paying for a freelance opp as well.

On top of that, there are things I can't find. My IHSA General Media Pass, my checks, and a couple of envelopes with last year's tax information. I'm beginning to think I keep too many things.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

V-Day Post

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.41.20
Current Song - Just The Way You Are (Billy Joel)

I never really posted anything special on Valentine's Day. It's just something that I outgrew during high school. Not that I outgrew it, but its significance meant less and less to me since I never could quite take advantage of the day.

The last think I did for Valentines Day was give the whole girls basketball team roses, back when I was a manager for them.

Every Valentines day I take a moment and remember all things "love" in my life. There's family, as always, but it doesn't have much empahasis as the girls I've met. I think about my family every day. I haven't really had strong feelings for a girl since my senior year of high school.

All I could do was look back and cherish what was what back then. Out of all of these, there is still someone who resonates in my heart. Everyone else left, except her. I still see her once in a while, and every time I do it's as if everything back then is coming back to me.

I still love her.

Why exactly do I love her? I wasn't really able to answer that question when I was in school, but I can kind of answer it now. She's really the only one of them who has some sort of understanding for who I am. She'll still talk to me, and is still glad to see me.

Now if I could just do something about it - to try to put the right words together.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Getting a schedule together

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.21.20
Current Song - Virtual Insanity (Jamiroquai)

I had planned to go to the Riverdale girls basketball regional final yesterday, but had a bunch of things to do at home. I had to think of a speech topic, think about what I'm doing for classes, etc. It's stuff that's more important to me than going to a basketball game. When I'm done with school, it'll be the reverse: the game will be more important.

I'm going to try to make it to the Sterling wrestling sectionals. They start at 3:00 p.m. and I need to leave at 4:45 for work. Since I know I'm going to not cover the duration, I hope I can get some pictures in. I think I'll have 2/3s of the meet shot before I have to leave.

My Tuesday plans have changed. Marquette girls beat Newark for their regional final. I was hoping Newark would make it. A Newark-HBR girls game is worth more than the price of admission. Since that's not going to happen, I'm not going to cover it. Instead, there's a good boys game pitting West Carroll and Forreston that night. Friday night will be spent up in Dakota for the third of four Dakota-South Beloit games. Saturday will either be spent at the Rock Island swimming sectional (out by 3:30) or at home worrying about whatever schoolwork I need to do.

Wrestling will be my focus for the following week. I know my wrestling friends have kind of looked down on my for a lack of coverage. You can blame it partially on the class system, team schedules, and everything being on a Saturday. Saturdays are bad for me since I'm needed at work. They will continue to be bad as long as I keep working at the Shell station. I pretty much have to make the website a full concenration before I get better.

I'm not a fan of the new team Sectional format, but only from a media coverage standpoint. I didn't know where I was going to go, but it was going to be either Oregon, Geneseo or Fremd. The Oregon sectional has two matches going on at the same time, so that's going to be hell to cover. But I simply can't do two at once. The Geneseo Sectional has Sterling and Sycamore against each other. Seen both. The Fremd Sectional has Hononegah against Barrington. Really leaning on heading all the way to Palatine, where Fremd is, on Tuesday.

After that, I'll know what to do that weekend.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

WSN

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.11.20
Current Song - Let's Groove (Earth, Wind and Fire)

It's time we revisit an old condensed version of what I type on here. Work, School, NISB - or WSN for short.

Work: The hours are pretty much staying in place, with 33. Depending if I'm bored today, it may be 34. It doesn't look as if there'll be any more than that. Everything's pretty tight with school and NISB stuff. Things are going okay, but I feel somewhat uncomfortable with some of the changes.

Ever since I started working at gas stations, I've tried to find a way to do things at a pace and a schedule that workes best for me. It's worked, and if it didn't, I don't think I'd be in the business. I go at a very informal pace. I don't like to act like a robot when I do my work, as I see in many other stations. I try to be colorful when I can. I'm not "gas station clerk," I'm "Cody." There's a reason for our name tags.

The system I've used for more than a year and a half is different than everyone else's. That's the reason why Mary wouldn't let me train new employees. Heck, even Wende let me train someone when I was in Dixon. I feel there's a danger to the system I've built over that time. The typical repsonse to something like this is just to change things. Now I'm not going to be stubborn and not budge. I'm always trying to find ways to tweak how I work, and trying to keep people happy at the same time.

Maybe its a gender thing.


School: The speech class is going great. That's odd. I conducted my first speech last night about me being a high school sports writer. Speech is not my thing, as many people know. I get lost a lot. Everyone else that performed knew what they were going to say. The constant stumbling I figured would cost me a lot, considering the other speeches had some flaws in them too.

I got a B+ in my first speech????

I tried to find a straight half-circle in there somewhere to make it look like a "D" but it was indeed a "B." One less sidetrack from possibly getting an "A"? I think what made it good was the introduction. Everyone else began with a question. I spoke how I would write. The ledes I write in my stories are supposed to grab attention. The one peer comment that was constant was about how good my intro was. Another one was how the subject matter was interesting.

One thing I tried to avoid in my speech is the uttering of "I'm going to tell you about". To me, it seems real generic, and cut and paste. I didn't say it, but on my evaluation sheet it was pointed out that I didn't state the main points in the introduction. I'm pretty sure I did. However, it wasn't interpreted to the audience as main points. If I would have emphasized it with a louder voice it probably would have made more sense.

Wednesday's Tech Zone class was bi-polar. I had been at a moot point in my drawing for quite some time. It so happened that the instructor came upon my work. At first, it was a question about knowing how to do certain things. He sat at my computer. The two of us, and another instructor, pretty much dissected not only my drawing, but my computer's settings and program management. I could only sit there and doze off.

In the end, it was determined that I had to start the drawing all over again, and do it the "correct" way. I thought I was doing it the correct way. Apparently not. So that plummeted me a lot. When I finally did it the "correct" way it seemed much easier. I can't wait to go back and work on it again. Did I just type that??

NISB: Everything's going okay right now. I've got my three freelancers lined up and have determined what's going to be covered. The content side of things should be okay.

The boards have me worrying a bit. The decline of the Illinois Hoops board led to many people jumping to my board. Their banter is somewhat different than what my board had been. I have a feeling it's turned away many long-time message board posters. Because I opened the floodgates and let them in? Some of it is childish. Some of it is good. However the childish ones overshadow the new wave of analysis.

I'd appreciate any feedback on this matter.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Things from back then

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.01.20
Current Song - ...

Just got done experiencing a revisit of the first time I got hooked on Jazz Music and Casinos.

The Nick bumper looks something like French cinema, something I got kind of hooked onto after watching Band of Outsiders in film class.

The casino music isn't all that great. Plug your ears.

Nickiseverydaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.......

Sunday, February 7, 2010

It's official ... It's THAT bad

Cutter's Log - Stardate 9002.70.20
Current Song - Boomin' Bump (John Baker)

The Graphic Design class I am taking is now the worst class I have ever taken at the college level. It surpasses a Sociology class, one I actually withdrew from.

If only I could explain how BAD the help is with the class. A substitute for asking the teacher for help are the "Help Files," which don't provide real "help" at all. If you can't understand half of the things on the "help file" then there's a problem. I've hit an impasse in the class, stuck dead in the water. An assignment that has step-by-step instructions is missing MANY steps.

I have the t-shirt design traced on Illustrator, and need to fill in the colors. Now what? Illustrator is another problem. Now, if I drew the thing on Microsoft Paint, I think I could do it. Paint is like your simple tool set: hammer, flathead, phillips, pliers, wrench, tape measure, etc. Illustrator contains hexes, a 157/259s wrench, 55 different kinds of hammers, a punch, and other stuff that just isn't needed. There's no paint bucket tool. It's eraser tool - get this - doesn't erase, instead it forms a black eye on the drawing.

My t-shirt will be blue and orange. Not dark blue, light blue, transparent blue, whatever pantone number it is blue. Buh-looo.

You find out what these classes are like by reading a description about them in the college catalog. Only after you sign up, pay the money, etc you get to find out what the class is really like. That's for the people who'll say "well YOU signed up for it."

Pass this and I graduate. This makes my SPEECH CLASS look easy.

There's no light. Too many layers.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Bored

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.50.20
Current Song - West End Girls (Pet Shop Boys)

I slept from 11:00 p.m. Wednesday night until 2:45 p.m. Thursday afternoon. Nearly 16 hours of sleep, interrupted by a brief awakening at 7:45 a.m. It wasn't good.

It's about 5:15 in the morning right now. I have an 8:00 a.m. class, and I'm only planning on staying for the full 50 minutes. I'm behind in this class. A lot of it is because I've struggled to become familiar with the settings. Then there are days like these.

I worked last night. I don't get home until around 1:15 in the morning. Then I check the boards, e-mail, etc. which usually takes until 3:00. Four hours of sleep? It usually takes me four hours TO sleep! Right now is this boredom time that I go through until the start of class. I'll be out the door in two hours.

When I get off of class, I'll be heading to the bank. If I have enough energy, I'm going on another day trip.

No game tonight. I have a freelancer doing something tonight.

I'm kicking the lottery habit, too. Since the publication that contains my lucky numbers isn't publishing anymore, I have no numbers to go by. I have one draw left on my first Powerball ticket. I got back $6 on a 13-draw Lotto ticket. I'm keeping the $6.

As far as the "other" habit, I hit a two-year low in the weight department yesterday. I'm down 36 from my high.

I may take pics tomorrow at the Newman Wrestling Regional. That is, if I get up early enough. If I do, that'll make the day a "normal" one. A "normal" day is waking up in the morning, and going to bed at night. I don't do this a whole lot.

I had my first speech in speech class on Wednesday. The peer results were okay. I had a great introduction. I didn't do as well in the delivery part of it. I was suggested to study the speech more and put more in the outline. A lot of pauses and being lost. I won't really know exactly how much my autism will impact my grade.

Geez I'm rambling.

What came first: the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens come from eggs. Eggs come from more than just chickens. A penguin egg could have hatched and a really deformed penguin (one that looks like a chicken) could have come out.

Mr. Johnson isn't as bad as people percieve him to be. The managers are the ones spreading the word about their disagreements with him to their morning crowds.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

This Year's Spring Break goes to ...

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.30.20
Current Song - California Love (Tupac and Dr. Dre)

No it's not California.

Last year's Spring Break was spent with my grandparents in Tucson. It was farther than anywhere I've ever gone before.

My SVCC Spring Break is from March 6-14. I made my vacation from work from the 8th to the 14th. The week works well with the state basketball tournament, which is being held on the 12th and 13th. I plan on attending both days of the tournament.

This leaves a whole four days to myself with not much to do. Tuesday night is the NIU Super-Sectional, but I'm planning on having my freelancers do it.

So where can I go in four days? I thought about for a while. It is going to be somewhere farther than the longest family vacation: Cleveland/Rock and Roll HOF was travelled to in 10 hours by car. That's including being stuck in Gary traffic, sitting down to eat lunch, and resting at a rest stop. I don't really require all of this.

The 8th would be spent driving to the location. The 9th and 10th would be spent vacationing. The 11th would be spent driving back home.

I thought long and hard about a place I wanted to go to. It was difficult, because to be honest, there's not a lot of places I want to see. I can see Mount Rushmore on the Internet. I know what it looks like.

Here were some of the options, with some comments:

Montreal - I've never been to a major Canadian city before, and this one has more of an old-style feeling than Toronto. Ends up being too far, and I don't want to get into much difficulty with Customs.

Riverside, Iowa - Not for the gambling, but there's a monument dedicated to James T. Kirk. It's the Future Birthplace of James T. Kirk (of Star Trek fame). Back when I used to watch The Next Generation, and the later movie "Generations" I wanted to visit this place. I grew out of the Star Trek thing a while ago.

New York - Ends up being a trip to be planned out years in advance. Once I establish myself as having a life, then I can safely visit it.

Boston - I have a bit of liking to that colonial feeling.

Philadelphia - see above

Graceland - I've always wanted to visit it, but my mother wants to visit it more than I do. It just doesn't seem right to have a view of it before she does.

Then it hit me ...

Cooperstown, NY

The Baseball Hall of Fame. Always wanted to go there, but never thought much about it until looking at a map. The HOF would be a wonderful place to visit, and there's some more things in Cooperstown too. May as well get a whiff of Niagra Falls while I'm driving there.

Drive up on the ninth. Art museum and Farmer's museum on the tenth. HOF on the eleventh. Drive back on the twelfth.

Now for a hotel with Internet access for a three-night stay. I'm going alone. I'm looking at maybe $300 for the duration. Light lunches and good dinners. $30.50 for the three places' admission. Budget $150 for fuel. $100 for buying things. $100 for odds and ends. $200 in reserve cash. A good $900 to be budgeted for the trip.

Should be a good one.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

More Car Trouble

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

I have trouble with my sense of smell. I can't smell anything in my car. I can't even smell the fresh strawberry air freshener "tree" in my car.

I wasn't able to smell the coolant leak in my car until my dad drove it one day and noticed it. He said he could smell it, but I can't. I'm calling my repairman tomorrow morning to see if he can work on it.

Luckilly I don't have to go anywhere for the rest of the week. I'm going to have freelancers cover a couple of things. I don't plan on covering anything until 2/12 @ Riverdale. I'm also planning on having a basketball game covered that day, so if I miss this regional, it'll be okay. But 2/16 I'm dead set on going to the Mooseheart Sectional semifinal.

The Thought Process

Cutter's Log - Stardate 0102.20.20
Current Song - Walkin' On The Sun (Smashmouth)

I have a unique thought process.

I was born with it. It often irritates people. It involves finding flaws with people's arguments. If I find the flaw, I'll say it. This makes people mad, and they scramble to find some way (some hurried, incorrect way) to counter the argument. It doesn't do them any good. So don't try to fool me, I'll know. Many people have tried to take advantage of the fact that I have a social weakness, and am willing to accept anything. What they don't know is that I think things way too deep. When I think of things too deep, I eventually find the flaw with the situation.

Take, for instance, a friend of mine in middle school. My friend was probably more shyer than I was. He was looking for a girl's phone number. The girl gave him a phone number. It was another boy's phone number. He didn't know it, but I did (this is what happens you when you study the student directories). I told my friend about this. I took the note with the # to the girl, and ripped it in front of her face.

"Condemn, and be condemned."

It's one thing to have fun, another to have fun at the expense at others. It's another to have fun at the expense of others who won't be able to recover from things like this. Okay, we all did this at one time or another. So did I. I knew the person I did something like this to would eventually recover from it.

I think what made me kind of an outcast among my classmates in school was the fact that I knew they were lying to me. The old "let's fool Cody" gag would always fail. Boy, were they angry that they backfired. It fooled them so bad, they didn't want to even try telling me things again.

What's the "let's fool Cody" gag?

Most of the popular kids in middle school knew I was trying to establish a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with pretty much any girl I had a crush on at that time. Once they knew I kind of liked someone, they would say something to me.

"Hey Cody, ____ likes you," with a smile on their face.

I'd say something like, "how do you know?"

"She told me."

At this point, I make a determination. Do I risk talking to her and falling flat on my face? Do I tell him he's wrong? How do I tell him I know?

I keep asking more questions. If it gets to the point where he is irritated, then I know he's lying. If he's really trying to help me, he'd continue to convince me without any knowledge of time.

They couldn't convince me. So they tried making the girls tell me. A girl would tell me so-and-so likes me, under the assumption that I would be willing to trust any girl who talks to me.

Then I get to thinking:

"Why are the girls now telling me? Maybe they're trying to fool me. The boys haven't done anything like this in a while. Certainly they would. If she really likes me, why isn't she doing something about it? Surely she is more outgoing than I am. She can't possibly be more shyer than me."

The closest time I was ever bluffed came with a girl I really liked, and the bluff came from someone (a girl) that I would NEVER expect to hear it from. The confrontation was just the two of us at a schoolground. I was going one way, and she was going another. We met at the schoolground. We talked for a while, and started pulling the gag. It came out of nowhere. Two, how did she know I liked this girl? She even re-enacted the dialogue from the girl; something about how "I like Cody Cutter." I believed it for a split second. I think I responded, "we'll see."

It gets REAL bad when the gag is pulled by the very girl I like. It's like a slap in the face. That just reads "I'm lying" all over it.

Bottom line: Dont' EVER bluff me.

It turns out every time this came up, it WAS a lie. If I was vulnerable to this abuse, I don't think I'd be the same person I am today. I'd be much worse.

I like the way I think.