The Best Friends That I Have

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.90.80
Current Song - West End Girls (Pet Shop Boys)

I had one of those moments of disappointment tonight at life's crossroads. What made me better again was a group of friends of mine.

Fact: I know just as many girls from Rock Falls as I do Sterling.
Fact: I get along with Rock Falls girls better than I do Sterling girls.
Fact: I was invited to three graduation parties of Rock Falls girls. Sterling? Zero.

I really do get along with Rock Falls girls better than Sterling girls. But is it because of personal choice? Or just the way things work with the given enviroment of Sterling/Rock Falls youth intertwined with the unique autistic atmosphere that is Cody Cutter?

I have never made a declaration that I will just consider friendships with only Rock Falls girls, and not Sterling girls. Even when I moved from Rock Falls to Sterling after 4th grade, I had always thought that I would get along with my new classmates.

But over time, I gravitated myself toward those Rock Falls girls more than Sterling girls. I had maintained friendships with some Rock Falls girls after I moved. After spending some time with Sterling girls and Rock Falls girls after a couple of years, I noticed a difference between the two.

Rock Falls girls were more open, outgoing, nice, and just better. For the rest of my years at Challand and SHS, I just couldn't quite understand why Sterling girls were not the same as Rock Falls girls.

It's occurred to me now that perhaps the freshman melting pot theory at RFHS has to do with it.

What is the freshman melting pot theory?

This SORT OF explains why Rock Falls girls are more friendlier than Sterling girls.

In public schools, are five different 8th grades in Rock Falls (RFMS, Nelson, Riverdale, East Coloma and Montmorency) and just one in Sterling (Challand). Therefore being a freshman at RFHS is different than being a freshman at SHS. Everyone knows everyone at Sterling and not so much at Rock Falls. The cliques within Sterling freshman have been firmly in place since middle school. The "melting pot" atmosphere that is at RFHS makes for a more curious, exciting and friendlier scene. You can also make the same argument about Newman freshmen, since they come from St. Mary's in Sterling, St. Mary's in Dixon and St. Andrew's in Rock Falls.

There is a more "different" and "new" feeling compared to Sterling. I don't always see the RFMS people always sticking with other RFMS people. Or East Coloma people with other East Coloma people. Or Riverdale people with Riverdale people, etc.

(On a side note, with the above statement I would have absolutely loved it personally had I not moved to Sterling from RF after 4th grade. I wouldn't be so shy or disillusioned.)

There was not a melting pot at Challand. However, there is a melting pot of sorts within the five Rock Falls middle school levels. Most importantly, this comes in the form of the success that the Rock Falls little league softball programs have had.

I can still remember seeing my first Rock Falls softball game, and knowing just a few of the girls from my days at Merrill. But then, almost immediately, other girls became known to me. All of a sudden two girls that I hadn't known at all before were doing more talking with me than the girls that I had already known.
This started a relationship that I have mentioned many, many times over the years. But when high school hit, it was more than just softball girls. I got to know members of the volleyball team (when I was doing the RF sports website) as well as girls that didn't play either (when I was sitting in the Rock Falls student section at some games).

It was apparent - they were nicer, more outgoing and treated me with respect.

Back at Sterling, I was one of a few Sterling kids that knew quite a bit of Rock Falls girls. But I don't think any of them attended as many Rock Falls sports events as I did - ones that the girls I knew weren't playing in (such as boys basketball games). But I was by far the least attractive physically - and probably still am.

Because of many awkwardnesses that I unfortunately have, I wasn't able to establish many friendships as I had hoped later in my school life. However, these Rock Falls girls - the core group of softball girls - are the closest thing to the best friends that I have. (Now whether the opposite is true, I don't know).

Some of them are now married and have children. I try to keep in touch with them when I can.

When I speak of "heart" that doesn't just mean relationships. These girls will have a permanent place in my heart. I can honestly say that I love each and every one of them. I don't ask for or expect anything in return, but that is how I feel. I always want the best for them.

I look back at my life so far and notice that there are many things I could change. I'm not in the best of shape, or mood, or feeling at this time.

When I look back to find the thing that has kept me alive throughout all of this time, the first thing that comes to mind are these Rock Falls girls. When I am down and am looking for some motivation, these girls come to mind.

I can't thank them enough for being a friend.