Dear Journal ...

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.52.80
Current Song - Just The Two of Us (Bill Withers)

#35's Waste of Space has been around since April of 2005 - more than seven years. The current archive dates back to the summer of 2007, as I have been using Blogspot since then.

When I started this blog, I was getting ready to graduate from high school. I wanted to use the blog to document the transition phase in my life from high school to college. I honestly didn't see this lasting for more than seven years. But here it is.

Writing wasn't a problem for me, but I had to think back to something that I consider the predecessor to #35's Waste of Space. This isn't a blog, but a written journal.

I found this journal recently while going through some boxes. The journal had a lock on it (which has since been busted) and was Coca-Cola themed. This documented the last two months of fifth grade, the following summer and the early days of sixth grade. The inspiration behind that? Doug Funnie.

Doug loved Patty Mayonnaise. I loved someone, too.

Having access to Cody's journal was worth more than gold to my fifth grade classmates. That's because I would write in it at recess and lock it.

I know I had tried to erase crush memories just recently, but I had to take a look inside my old journal. Sure enough, the withdrawl symptoms would hit.

Looking back at this, I'm glad I still have it around as it documents a very important part of my life - when I learned to keep myself up after feeling down after moving.

On the inside front cover, I wrote a bunch of "I (heart) (her name)"s over it. These entries were mostly a paragraph summary of the school day, with every moment of interaction with her detailed. Every smiling glance. Every time she pushed me. The time when she begged to help me pass out birthday treats. The time she kept smiling at me at least 50 times in a hour during class, and made kissing noises. The time she kissed me on the cheek. "Light My Fire" during the field trip to Galena.

There were a couple of entries that puzzled me. In one entry "she had asked if I'm still her boyfriend." In another I refer to her as "my girlfriend." It's funny that I don't actually recall this; we were never boyfriend/girlfriend or else I would have remembered it and things would have been MUCH different.

I didn't keep this journal updated regularly after fifth grade. It was just one of those things that I grew out of. But I didn't grow out of writing. Working with words would lead to the writing of short spy stories in 6th grade, which eventually led to the Top 50 List.

How ironic that only a couple of days after sending her a message, I find this journal.

I haven't heard back from her. I don't expect to. This was a very long time ago and we've both moved on.