A whirlwind of emotions right now

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.22.30
Current Song - Turn it on Again (Genesis)

The tail end of the chapter. I have been there before, and it was a sad one. Six years ago I was at the tail end of my high school life, when the road of my own was being walked on for the first time.

My youngest brother is at this point of his life. What has defined his high school career was his involvement with the boys basketball team. That has ended. High school hasn't. There is this intermission.

I chose to walk down a path of my own after high school. I didn't listen to what other people told me I should do. This was evident during my senior year when I first ran NISB - I was seeing "other teams" on a regular basis, and because of that kind of felt abandoned by those that walked the halls with me. At certain times, I was chastized for doing what I wanted to do. I wanted to learn more about high school sports, and that required stepping outside the box that was Sterling High School. I was thought of to have no pride in my own school, and was sometimes called a traitor. I was used to that with the certain loyalties I had to the other school across the river.

Danny had been the baseball manager at SHS during his junior year. After that was over with, he enrolled in the school's service learning program. He became a janitor at Lincoln School during the fall, and liked getting a check (money for cappuchino!!) at the end of the week. Then when basketball season started, he went back to managing the basketball team.

After that he made a decision to remain with Lincoln School instead of manage the baseball team. He really enjoyed his job with the school, and there were times last year when he felt a bit uncomfortable in his role. One of the biggest issues he had last year had to do with the choice of music played during games.

Danny has always like different kinds of music, and at that stage he was real big into country music. He felt because of that, rap music was supposed to be despised. The players were real big into rap music, and obviously this would cause a problem for Danny. The players (I think only a few were on the basketball team) would agitate him by changing the music on him. If this ploy were done to someone other than Danny, he or she would probably rub it off.

I don't really know for sure if this was a reason he chose to stick with the Lincoln job, or a deciding factor. He obviously feels really comfortable with his job.

And without him, the baseball team continues to play their own music, which is fine. But Danny seemed a bit perturbed, even though he is not on the team anymore. The reply? I don't even want to imagine it. I just don't want him going back down in flames.

This great debate is something that really both sides (the rap likers, and Danny and the country likers) do not fully understand. Since I carry some of the same unique mental workings as Danny, I know what's going on.

Danny: "I like country."
Friend: "Country? Rap is where it's at!"
Danny: "No it's not."
Friend: "What? Come on, man! Rap (blah, blah, blah)"
Danny: "I just like country, okay?"

The friend tries to tease him by getting him to change his mind. Since there are several friends, and only one of Danny, this conversation comes up with different people. This agitation has been going on for a long time. That's because they just don't fully comprehend that Danny takes these things seriously. The friends simply do it for agitation. Danny is unable to see it that way.

This is really a problem that should be brief. However, both sides carry it on. Danny continues to fire back, unable to detect agitation. I'm sure he's been told before that they are only teasing him. Danny can't get that through his head when the next agitation comes because there is no one to remind him that the friends are only teasing. And the friends know how mad Danny gets in this debate, and people continue to debate him.

Why can't these friends respect the fact that Danny likes country? Why can't Danny respect the fact that these friends like rap? Looking at Danny's Facebook wall kind of gives us an answer. Danny likes to post country-related items on his wall, and the friends are commenting back that rap is better. However, Danny doesn't comment on any wall posts from friends about rap.

It seems like a problem. However, this will all be looked at as true fun. Certainly more fun that I ever had in high school. Boy this post turned into an awkward positive turn. Here I looked at it as a problem, but it is what keeps him the person he is.

He get his picture taken with girls, hangs out with a lot of people, and the whole nine yards. I could never accomplish that in high school. One would detect jealosy on my part, but I'm glad his high school days have been so well.

This turnaround kind of shows how quickly my mindset changes. I kind of think of Danny as the "what could have been" version of myself. See, he did things that I would never do when asked. I would never do the worm in the gym. He did.

And he graduates in two months. I'm so proud of him.