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Cutter's Log - Supplemental

I made a post about my brother earlier today. Somewhere in the midst of things, a couple of things coincided in my head. First, was the constant frustration I'm getting at work; the second, was a low point in my life.

Summer 2006 - I had spent a lot of time writing feature stories for the website, relating to conference changes. That's all I was doing. I was on the computer 24-7 doing these things. I didn't have a job. Sauk was on summer break. I had no income. I had no car. All my friends had gone away. All I had was the website, and that wasn't going to get me anywhere.

I wanted to be a sportswriter at a newspaper. Nothing was open. So I had to look at "other" things. I didn't like doing these other things. There was a third-shift jon opening at the BP station. I knew nothing about running a cash register and caring for a gas station, and thus I didn't want to do it. This was with all corners closing in on me, and I still didn't want to do it.

What got me to change my mind was something my dad said. He told me that I would meet new people, and I wouldn't be so shy all of the time. With that advice in mind, I applied and was hired. I spent 19 months at BP before leaving for the Shell gig I have now.

I spent 15 months on the overnight shift, 12 of those as overnight lead. The remaining four months were spent on evenings and weekend mornings. I worked just about every shift out there, during every day out there, and during every time of year and every holiday. The best thing about overnights was that people pretty much talked with you out of sheer boredom. This eventually carried over to the times that I worked outside of the overnight hours. I transitioned into the other shifts well, and so did my conversation skill.

I liked to go to work, except on those days with a heavy chore load or a work dispute. This was because I enjoyed the interaction.

I wasn't there to make money for Manjit Singh or Jay Patel. I was there to learn about people and make friends. I did. I got to meet a lot of people. Even when I moved to Shell, the people I met there have been so kind. The greatest honor for me is when I see these people outside of the gas station, like when I'm at Wal-Mart, or a high school sports event, and they take the time to say hi to me.

Because I've been able to meet and interact with people I know from the gas station, I have tried to be able to interact with those certain people that share the same high school sports interests as me. I have three website contributors that I talk to once in a while. No longer was I the shy young kid at times when covering something. A lot of the interaction I do with my colleagues comes as a result of being able to communicate well with customers at the gas station.

This was the main reason for working at gas stations, along with the money. While money at times has been low, the interaction has been great. I feel as if I am breaking this barrier in my life. Money can be earned anywhere, but this important life skill could only have been learned by the work I have been doing for the past five years.

Five years. That's a long time.

While the interaction has been great, the work has sometimes not. There are those that I get along with well, and those that create some sort of logistical disturbance inside me.

Several frustrations have added up lately, from drive-offs to busy lines and mass confusion. I can't go into detail on these, but all I can say is that they are getting to be too much for this mind to handle. I just don't like getting kicked around by these moments of confusion. I have great co-workers and bosses and all, but there are several moments in the job process that bother me. Burnout, you can call it.

I've already accomplished a plus, so perhaps it's time to draw up an escape plan. I've always wanted to do something with NISB, and make it into something of a small business - but not in the small-business style of my first employer (that turned out to be a mess). Since I know where the line has been crossed with my first employer, I can try to avoid it.

Here's hoping the venture turns into the new job for me.