2013 Vacation Plans, Part I

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.92.30
Current Song - It's My Life (No Doubt)

2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Part I
2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Part II
2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Part III
2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Part IV

2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Pictures I
2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Pictures II
2011 Mississippi River Vacation - Pictures III

"With a lot of vacations, there are some regrets. I have a few. I regret not being able to make the trip from Little Falls to Bemijdi, and stopping at those Wisconsin State Parks, and waking up late on the final day. But I think the best thing about these types of vacations is that the opportunity to come back is there because of these regrets. Of course, I would do the whole thing all over again if I could. However, to be honest, I don't know if I'm going to be able to travel this far for leisure for a while. I would like to get things straightened up back home before putting the money aside."  -- Me, 2011

---

I have vacation time reserved from April 28 (my 27th Birthday) until May 5.

With a new house and still trying to find a way to make a bill cycle work without worry, it doesn't seem likely that a vacation is in the cards. However, all of the stress of undertaking this pretty much tells me that a vacation is needed.

The last vacation I took was along the northern part of the Mississippi River from Clinton on up to the Headwaters in Lake Itasca, MN. It was a really fun trip! Didn't anticipate the return trip through Wisconsin being the attraction it was.

I woke up late on my 4th and final day of the trip and it got dark by the time I reached the crossing of the Wisconsin River. I drove through Wyalusing, Bagley, Potosi and East Dubuque while it was dark out. I told myself that one day I would return up there to see what I missed. When, I don't know.

Well, I have plans to return up there this year. However, I'm going to try to make it as "el cheapo" as possible. Thus, I have camping plans.

Two places that intrigued me along the Iowa-Wisconsin border were North Buena Vista and Wyalusing. Both are small towns that are off the beaten path. NBV looked like a campground city on hills with one-lane park-like roads. Its cafe, I swear, was in a mobile home-like structure. One thing's for sure: When you think of Iowa, you think of cornfields. Not the case for NBV. Wyalusing looked similar, but with less campers. It is on the bottom of a bluff. Lots of shade space in both towns.

I found a Jellystone campsite in Bagley, south of Wyalusing. I had originally planned on camping or renting a cabin for a whole week there, but that changed after I found out that Opening Weekend was on the tail end of the vacation span. Still, I'm going to inquire about that weekend and see if I can get a spot for a tent.

But I don't have a tent. I would like one for my 27th Birthday.

Since the campground opening is on the last part of the week, I thought it was best to divide my vacation time into smaller fun things in a row rather than one thing for the whole week.

So hopefully the weekend part of it is official. Just have to make the call. I got something in mind for Friday, but still not sure on how to plan it yet. That'll be "Part II" in this Blog. Subsequent entries will follow.

***

If you're an avid reader of the Blog, you're probably wondering about the car.

Not too long ago I took it on a drive to Dixon to get gas and a car wash at the Shell station. However, I noticed that something started to kick underneath. I'm going 65 miles per hour on the freeway with my cruise control on. That cruise control has been acting up lately and I wondered if that was why the car was "kicking."

I came back home on the Old Route 2 and drove 50 mph back to Sterling (no cruise), and things were back to normal. Last night I went to Dixon and back to see if the problem was still there. I took Old Route 2 both ways at 55 mph. There with no cruise, and back with cruise. I noticed nothing. So I'm guessing that the car shouldn't go anything over 55 (and why would it, outside of an Interstate?) with or without a cruise.

I guess the good thing about that is that I won't be speeding.

Sterling to Bagley is all two-lane road, with the exception of a stretch from Galena to East Dubuque. I think doing 55 won't be a problem.

The Top 50 List - A Big Mistake

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.72.30
Current Song - You Dropped a Bomb On Me (The Gap Band)

Those that grew up with me know that I did some stupid things in school.

The "Top 50 List" of my favorite girls was the stupidest.

Looking back over 10 years after making these lists, I think it caused quite a few rifts among my classmates. I think the world would have been a little bit better if I hadn't made the lists. Making these lists was just an immature act that made me get attention in the wrong ways.

The whole concept started in 6th grade when some of the boys kept asking me who I liked. Then it turned into "who do you like more?" Thus the list began.

Why did I keep making them? I struggled with verbal communication in regard to such, but writing it down was the only way to make things known.

Really, the only spots that mattered were 1-20. The latter 30 was just a mix of girls that weren't in my top 20, but I felt like I needed to include them for the sake of being considered in some way. Problem was, there were more than 50 girls in my middle school class.

The process was simple: The girl I liked the most was #1. And so on. You moved up or down on my list based on whether you were nice to me or not.

Oh, I made severe omissions and bad rankings on some. But that was because I didn't know who they were at the time. Once realizing that, I felt guilty making these lists all of the time, but I continued to keep doing it.

Some wondered when I was going to make the next "Top 50 List," and thus I would hastily put one together when pressure mounted.

I made them whenever I could, or whenever my heart was feeling it. I always told myself that if I were to ever hook up with a girl, I would end this Top 50 list for good. I struggled with "getting girls" in middle school, while seeing several of my friends engage in "relationships" over that time. Some boys had at least 5 girlfriends, and some girls had at least 5 boyfriends. However, they were far from any negative word that describes such people.

I've been confronted quite a bit about "positioning" on the list. Much had to do with girls wondering why they were ranked lower than this other girl. And I had to try to explain it in the sheepish way possible. In addition, there were a few girls that most of my friends didn't think were worthy of even top 25 but I put them in there. It was because of their misconception that looks meant more than niceness, which is truthfully the opposite.

There was one girl who was obsessed about "movin' on up" on the list. She got to as high as #11. Others were pleased with how high they were: One girl signed "#6" in my 8th grade yearbook. Others anxiously awaited that #1 spot: One girl signed my 8th grade yearbook with "am I #1 yet? call me when I am!"

Only 8 girls have ever held the #1 spot: Amber, Sarah, Sarah, Jennie, Jenna, Michelle, Brittany and Carly. I can think of five others that got as high as #2.

The "Top 50" List was just another middle school fad, just like colored highlights in hair, battles over chewing gum in class, teacher impersonations, RESPECT, etc. But this one likely did more harm than good. Toward the end of 8th grade, I quit doing the list because I was starting to realize that.

Actually, Mr. Douglas helped me put an end to it.

Apparently all of the teachers knew about me making a list, discussing it in the teacher's lounge and such. That's probably why most of the teachers there didn't care for me. So, natrually, as educators, they try to find a way to make me stop writing these lists. Mr. Douglas found that list in the hallway, or while passed in class. I guess it got to a breaking point in the teacher's circles.

He pulled from his desk a crumpled up list and asked me if this was mine. He then found a way to persuade me to stop making the lists. He wasn't angry about it, but addressed it to me well enough. I think he also told me about the negatives that I was causing by making these lists. It all made sense to me and I quit making the lists.

Natrually, I had moved on from such. The following years would bring more girls to my life, but with the understanding that putting them on a list would do no good.

10 years later, I had hoped that time itself would destroy the very existance of the "Top 50 List" from ever happening. Turns out people still remember it, and people will continue to remember it.

It is my hope that those who remember aren't still feeling the sting from my List creating a rift in friendships and such. If so, I know apologies won't do much, but I am sorry.

So How AM I Doing?

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.42.30
Current Song - Straight On (Heart)

It's a habit that I mutter "good" when people ask me how I am doing.

That stems from the many times I simply lie in order to prevent myself from unknown, prolonged conversation when time is tight. I say "good" when things are either good OR not-so-good. About the only time I'll ever be honest is when I have the time and patience to engage in conversation.

"How are you" serves as the ultimate ice breaker - and here I am pushing it aside because I am constantly busy. Over the years, this gave my friends and classmates the impression that I was rude. However, I simply didn't know how to interact.

So how AM I doing?

Seems like I have to write an entire novel to answer that question these days. So here it is.

***

I'm exhausted. I will be finishing my seventh or eighth straight 40-hour work week. I haven't done that since the summer after high school graduation at Crest. That job brought to light the issues with my back and knees. My back was sore every day and my knees hurt to where I needed to crouch down on the assembly line to ease the pain.

After all this 40-hour stuff recently, my knees are weak once again and my back is getting sore around the center. My knees are a "big" problem. Sometimes they feel like giving out when I get off work, getting that jerking feeling. It's money, yes, but I feel like crap every night.

A lot of people I know are engaged in multiple money-making jobs. I fail to have the stamina necessary at this time to accomplish this. I don't know if there is a supplment or something that I should take in order to improve this.

***

Since putting off website stuff (Day 3 of the Hiatus), I feel like I have a much-clearer head. Like a door flew open and sucked things out. However, I still find myself thinking about issues in the high school sports scene: Upstate-Downstate Treatment, Four-Class Basketball, and the portrayal of varsity stars in media. One thought will lead to another, which winds up eating into my time.

I have thought of a way to relieve this: I took tiny pieces of paper and wrote down ...

Four-Class Basketball (MP/Simeon)
Upstate-Downstate Treatment
NIB 5/5
Portrayal of varsity stars in media

... and folded them out and placed them in a ziploc sandwich bag. That way I won't look at what I wrote down.

When I come back briefly in late May, I hope to put all of these things in a mega-column. Once things are written down, I'll try not to think of them until then.

***

Weight-wise, I have to get back on track. That explains the knees. The four weeks of State Finals stuff threw me off, but I intend to get back with the increased free time.

***

But I think the biggest thing for me right now is to try to have fun. All of the stuff I'm going through is not fun. If I had more fun, I don't think I would be so stressed.

I can't wait for sunny days, so that I can watch some softball games.
I yearn for classmate get-togethers, so that we can catch up and remain in touch.
One day I hope I can be lively at a bar (while remaining a permanent DD).
I hope my Lotto #s come in to where I can win something.
I hope that something I write on here will actually grab someone's attention so we could discuss (and learn).

Perhaps then, "good" will mean something.

I hope that fun days are ahead, without me being pressured.

Train Whistles at Night

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.02.30
Current Song - Long Train Running (Doobie Brothers)

I live about 75 feet from one of America's most important railroad lines - the Chicago-to-San Francisco route. There's a train rolling by every 20-25 minutes.

Trains are nothing new to me as my parents' house is about two blocks from this same track, my grandparents' house is right along the tracks, and I have lived no farther than one mile from these tracks. Having been at my house for five months, the trains are nothing more than ambient background noise anymore, even at night. They don't bother me when I try to sleep.

By rule, the only train whistles we hear in Sterling and Rock Falls are when they cross Stouffer Road, Avenue B, Avenue K, the crossing at NWSW's western-most mill near Casey's, and a couple of crossings in Galt. Others come as needed (emergencies, people on the tracks, etc.). Before a train crosses my house, I know that two blows means its coming from the east and three blows mean its coming from the west.

Trains have many whistles, but my favorite-sounding one is a low-pitched one very late at night. It doesn't really mean anything, but rather is tuned as such with the doppler effect - the pitch is higher when it gets close to us, and thus gets lower as it goes away from us.

Sound travels in waves. However, there are many things that block these waves. This makes the whistles sound different. Because I live along the river, there is a long and open path with no sound wave interruption. That is, from the eastern tip of Lawrence Brothers to Stouffer Road. This creates two different train whistle sounds when a train crosses Stouffer Road (open field with nothing in the way) and Avenue K (mill buildings in the way).

The whistles near the mill are going to be the most lower-pitched ones. Try speaking into a paper towel tube and you'll know why.

Train whistles at the mill. Brings people back to the "good 'ol days" in the Twin Cities, doesn't it? I guess that's why I like it.

Where Will My Allegiances Lie?

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.81.30
Current Song - It's Too Late (Carole King)

Any time you see one of my Blog entries that has to do with "allegiances," you can figure out what's it's going to be about.

Winter is done. The press pass and clipboard are hung up in the closet until State Final time. I'm not writing this spring. The last spring I didn't write? 2002. What was I doing then? Riding a bike to Geneseo, of course.

Eleven years later, the same team I loved has a different cast. Ever since my '05 classmates graduated, my intake has whittled down to maybe a couple of games per year. I was no longer "#1" for the program, but still to the individual particulars of that time. Today's cast doesn't recognize me, but that's time doing its thing.

As a journalist, I looked at the program and its geographical rival (my alma mater) on even ground.

But why am I leaning toward picking a side?

Nine years ago around this time, I was at rock bottom after one of the worst times of my life. I've told that story quite a bit. Many years later, I've found myself wanting to give thanks to a program that lifted me up from times of depression.

Yes, I know the entire cast has changed (save one adult). However, I can see a two-way street of support, especially with what's brewing nearby.

In other words, I'm bored and feel like experiencing that high school sports "fan" feeling one more time - and probably the last time until I get out of the profession.

Since keeping my eye on them, I have never seen a period where a great big wall stood in their way - not even during Morrison's constant reloading.

Of course, I know some people back at the alma mater. Two (well, one, but two) of which were an important part of my heyday. This creates the teetering on the fence. Is it so much the individual parts, or the whole?

To say I support one over the other, does that mean I don't support the other? I've been down that road before, and know that answer is no.

People know me as having been a huge fan of one team at one time. But that was a long time ago.

Something very wonderful could be forming at my alma mater. At the same time, there's no way I'm going to disconnect from a program that pretty much saved my life.

So you think come April 23 that I don't know which side to sit on? Come the expected regional final between these two, I still won't know where I'll sit.

There's a part of the bleachers that directly lines up with home plate and the pitcher's circle. But an umpire, catcher and a steel post are in the way. I can't see muhc there.

Nevertheless, I have both a Rock Falls and Sterling varsity softball schedule printed out and tacked on my office door.

Gonna Ride This Storm Out

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.10.30
Current Song - Ridin The Storm Out (REO Speedwagon)

This isn't the first time I've been knocked off my feet.

If you're reading this, you know that things have been very, very rough for me lately. Then recently I announced a hiatus from website work for this spring. I understand that made many people worried about me and how I was doing.

Let me tell you the truth - It's not fun right now. Over the past few weeks I have had plenty of wear and tear. I don't think I've ever been this worn out before. At work, when my time at the register is done and I'm sitting and doing paperwork, I feel like taking a nap. I think it's a combination of more hours at work and the work load I was doing with NISB.

I can't remember going this long without shaving, but I finally did that tonight. Baby steps.

I haven't had 40-hour-work-week stretches in this fashion since working those couple of months in a food packing plant. But even then, that was during the summer when I had no high school sports things to be concerned with. However, the money is much needed right now.

Money will be even more needed now.

I just had a bad diagnosis on my car. I sent it in to get the cooling system checked, and found out that the whole thing really needed replaced. However, it could be patched up for a temporary fix and I had that done. But the real killer was the strong recommendation from the repair shop that I should look for a new car.

So I'll need to be looking for a different car. That'll eat up the remainder of my paycheck.

I begin my website break on March 18, and for five months (outside of two weekends), I won't be doing anything with high school sports. I'm pondering a second part-time job that involves the morning-afternoon shifts. Gee, if I'm worn out already, I don't know how much I can handle with working non-stop 85% of the time I am awake.

In fact, I'm worn out now. I can't even finish this entry.

Shell Rewards Just Got Better

Cutter's Log – Stardate 3102.72.20

I hate it when gas prices go up. As publisher of a sports website which involves plenty of travel, I know all about the burden that high gas prices can do to a hobby or a business. We're always trying to find a way to curb the amount we spend at the pump.

Shell and Johnson Oil Expresslanes are starting a new program as a part of Shell's “Fuel Rewards Network.”

Spend $25 inside the store and save $0.05/gallon at the pump!

How does it work?

When you visit Johnson Oil Shell Expresslanes, ask the clerk for a Fuel Rewards Card (if he or she hasn't mentioned it to you already). You will need to register the card online at fuelrewards.com to redeem these rewards.

Accrue $25 worth of goods (sales tax not included) purchased in the store using this saver card - and you can do so over a period of time. Once you have reached the $25 threshold, you can use that saver's card to save $0.05/gallon of fuel. The maximum amount of gallons per transaction is 20, so your rewards will terminate after the twentieth gallon and you'll pay the full price for subsequent gallons.

This “$25-$0.05” deal is stackable. Meaning, if you accrue $50, you can save $0.10/gallon on your next fuel purchase; or if you have accrued $350, you can save $0.70/gallon. Remember that once you redeem your rewards, your balance starts over at $0.00.

What can get you to $25?

*25 $1 newspapers
*20 cups of coffee
*18 cups of cappuccino
*17 20-ounce Pepsi products
*21 20-ounce 7up products
*21 small candy bars
*71 small packs of chewing gum
*14 16-ounce Monster drinks
*6 large bags of potato chips
*50 50-cent Little Debbie snacks
*4 6-packs of beer

Are there exceptions to what you can purchase for rewards? Yes; fuel itself, cigarettes (packs and cartons), lottery, gift cards, money orders, and fax services are not eligible purchases for rewards. (Also, all Johnson Oil BP locations are not included in this program, as this is a Shell promotion.)

That's right. Beer IS included in the rewards program. Two big cases can already get you the $0.05/gallon rewards.

Your little things can, and do, add up. Do you buy milk every two days? At $3.50/gallon, two weeks worth of milk can get you the $0.05/gallon fuel savings. Do this for a month, and you can save $0.10/gallon – and that's not including whatever else you buy.

Are the savings worth it? My car's gas tank holds 13 gallons. If you're like me, and fill up when your stick reads “E”, a nickel savings adds up to $0.65. While that may seem like pocket change in regard to a fill-up, ask yourself this: Where else could I have received ANY savings this way?

With your eligible rewards, you don't have to pay full price for gas. If the Shell sign reads “$3.79” and others along that stretch of road read the same, think to yourself “$3.74” if and when you accrue $25 in in-store goods. Or “$3.64” if and when you have a $0.10/gallon savings. And so on.

Do my rewards expire? Yes. On the moment you reach the $25 threshold, you have until the end of that current month PLUS one additional calendar month to use your rewards. For example: If you get the $0.05/gallon savings on May 4, you have until June 30 to use that savings. If you keep building up the savings and reach the $0.10/gallon savings on June 15, you have until June 30 to use the $0.10/gallon savings and until July 31 to use the $0.05/gallon savings.

I have reached the point where I can save $0.20/gallon on my card. Can I use $0.10 now and $0.10 later? No. When you use the card, you redeem all you have at that time in that one transaction.

Is is possible to get a tank of gas for free? Not entirely, but whatever is left will be a minimal payment (no more than $0.10). Say your gas station has its regular gas for $3.50, and you have reached the point where you have $3.50/gallon savings (meaning $1,750 worth of in-store purchases tallied on your FRN card, with it all yet to expire), all you pay is that minimal payment of no more than $0.10.

Can I use the FRN rewards card in addition to my Kroger/Hilander card or Hy-Vee card? No. Only one saver card can be used per transaction.

However, there are other ways to stack savings on top of your FRN savings. Shell offers two credit cards that provide additional savings. The Shell “Drive for 5” credit card can save you $0.05/gallon on your final bill. The Citi Shell Platnium MasterCard can save you $0.10/gallon on your final bill. Shell also offers a Saver Card for debit card users – when linked up with a debit card, you can save an additional $0.02/gallon, which would be reflected on your bank statement.

Are there other ways I can build rewards on the FRN rewards card? Absolutely. You can link your FRN rewards card with a credit or debit card online, and you can rack up additional rewards by shopping at FRN's “Online Mall,” dining at participating reward-eligible restaurants, grocery shopping at reward-eligible grocery stores, and through MyCokeRewards.

For dining, if you use your credit or debit card – if linked to your FRN rewardds card – at Manny's Too in Fulton, Fried Green Tomatoes in Galena, Gene's Place in Rockford, and Happy Joes in Geneseo (the only northwest Illinois diners that are in the program), you can earn $0.10/gallon savings when you spend $50 or more. In addition to northern Illinois, several restaurants in the Iowa Quad Cities area are also included: Sneaky Pete's in LeClaire; The Clubhouse in Bettendorf; Rudy's Tacos and Winner's Pizza in Eldridge; and
11th Street Precinct, Cafe Indigo, Jersey Grille, Rookie's Sports Bar, and both Rudy's Tacos locations in Davenport.

Grocery shopping at participating reward-eligible grocers (Jewel-Osco in northern Illinois) can result in a saving of $0.05/gallon for every $50 spent using your Jewel-Osco card - which needs to be linked with your FRN rewards card before redemption. Shopping through FRN's “Online Mall” can result in a savings of $0.05/gallon for ever $50 spent.

Savings can also be done by cashing in on MyCokeRewards points. For every 40 MCR points, you can save $0.10/gallon. See the MyCokeRewards webpage for more. As far as points go: plastic bottles are worth 3 points, a 12-pack is 10 points, a 20-pack is 18 points, and a 24-pack is 20 points. So two 24-packs alone can get you $0.10/gallon off savings.

***

Shell Expresslane locations are scattered throughout all of northern Illinois and parts of eastern Iowa. You can also use your FRN rewards card at other participating Shell stations as well for additional savings.

Are you a regular customer at any of the Shell Expresslanes? You can discover the full fuel savings per year by doing the math with what you buy every day. Saving money on fuel has never been better!

Stop by and talk to me at the gas station, or message me, if you have any additional questions about how much you can save by using the FRN rewards card.

Remember, you MUST activate your FRN rewards card online in order to redeem any rewards on fuel purchases.

-Cody

The 4 Chambers of My Heart

Dedicated to 4 very special girls ...


Four sweethearts that I know
My love for them is this vow
I've been so afraid to show
That is, until now

You have so much love inside
I can see it within your kindness
Opened a path for me to confide
Escaping from my mental blindness

The ringing of my name when you cry
Blinding me with your smile
That and your eyes lift me so high
As you wave your hand for a while

After I had moved
She brought me back to my feet
My darkness was removed
Then my heart began to beat

Even after twenty years
We still know each other
But now it brings me tears
I'll never meet another

Just out of luck
I somehow meant something to her
A wonderful friendship was struck
Together I thought we were

Right out of the corner of my eye
Was a really bright light
The harmony of “hi”
Oh, what a wonderful sight

These times I'll never forget
I had never been treated so nice
This truly wonderful quartet
Whom I struggled to break the ice

I was raised with love all around
These girls share the same kind
Could it be the love I have found?
Will our two hearts align?

You have taught me so much
You have brought joy to my life
Which had seemed to lost its touch
In many school battles of strife

I am thankful for your presence
To which I want no one else nearby
I could never quite get this pleasance
So I could tell you eye-to-eye

Friends were few and far between
I'd look forward to our meetings
Because you are whom I could lean
After all your wonderful greetings

For you I always wanted to be there
Sometimes going out of my way
That's how much I care
Even on that double-header in May

I thought I could ignite a match
Destroying the barriers in my mind
It was a tough plan to hatch
The path to romance was hard to find

Some told me harsh things about you
They would make me so sad
Because I know they're not true
I know in my heart you're not bad

Your were the only thing in my world
You meant so much to me
But my words couldn't be unfurled
If only you four could see

So very hard I tried
Sadly I was unable to connect
Didn't know how my efforts had dried
And were left to deflect

In time, one of them was exhaust
Another found gold
The next I had lost
The last because I grew old

Knowing I will never see the day
My search will have to conclude
It's time for me to walk away
For I don't mean to intrude

But that doesn't mean the end
You four are my inspiration
As I try to make my heart mend
Trying to find that love coronation

I can't thank you four enough
You know I will be there
Even when your times are tough
I'll always deliver a prayer

But my love for you just won't quit
The thought I can't seem to sever
So I'll just go ahead and say it
You are the four loveliest angels ever  

And I will always love you
Forever  

-Cody

Coach Scheidegger Letter

This was the letter that Coach sent me before the 2001-02 season. This eventually led to many great things ...

Coach Scheidegger

I was deeply saddened to hear the news about my former girls basketball coach at Sterling High School.

Bruce Scheidegger is a man who I had been forever in debt to, for giving me the opportunity that launched a love of mine - high school sports.

Coach Scheidegger, after leaving Sterling, took the athletics director position at Carl Sandburg H.S. in Orland Park. After seeing his Lady Eagles compete at the IHSA State Bowling Meet in Rockford on Saturday, and seeing Eagle senior Nicole Powell finish in the top 10 individually, Coach would never make it back to his captain's chair at Sandburg.

Back home in Carroll County, where he was born and raised, Coach's car went off the road.

He was 54 years old.

My thoughts are with Deb, Samantha, Kristin and Molly at this time.

***

I will never forget his kindness, his dedication, passion for the game of basketball and high school sports, as well as his sense of humor.

During health class one day, I got a message from the school's messaging service (kind of like mail). The piece of paper was folded in half and stapled at the bottom. It was a request from Coach to meet with me to see if I would be a part of his varsity girls baskeball team.

After 11 years, I still have the letter. I was looking at it a couple of days ago, as it is shuffled in a lock box with a bunch of notes and papers in it. This note would find its way stuffed at the bottom of my school locker that year. Then I found it at the end of the year. I kept it. Why? This was an experience I'll never forget.

It is a little "different" for a girls sports team to have a male manager. At one of the first practices, coach had a drill planned for me too. That drill was that, if I needed to go into the girls locker room, I had to knock on the metal sign outside the door and yell "coming in ..." All four of the male coaches had to do this as well. But of course, special emphasis was on me because I was so young.

One day at the Dixon Tournament I accidentally forgot to knock on the door. He let me know about it.

Coach cared about his managers. I was one of two, and the other wasn't able to do much work that year. He cared so much that he eventually put me on the district's payroll. Yep. I was paid to tape games and take stats on occasion.

When we won the New-Mor-Roc-Ster that year, I was quite shocked when Coach called me down to the gym floor to recieve a medal. Before our final game against RF, he told me to tape the medal presentation after the game (I guess he was confident we'd win). So my mind's on taping this - I had never taped something like that before - and I hear a pause in the announcing of names before "and manager, Cody Cutter."

During the applause, I kind of raised my hand before Coach raised his hands and waved them toward me, telling me to come on down and get a medal. That was a cool moment.

In one of the first pages of our season scrapbook, coach cut out a picture of me recieving my medal and shaking hands with Scott and Pat (our assistant coaches). He typed the words "The Three Wise Men" on the picture.

Sometimes I was in charge of carrying the trophies on the bus rides. I carried the plaque that we won after defeating Mother MacAuley at the Amboy Shootout. I also carried a really large third-place trophy back from Dixon. It was taller than I thought, and accidentally bumped the top of it on the bus ceiling. Coach tried to hound me about it, jokingly reminding me that it could be our season right there.

He knew I was a bit on the shy side, while somehow finding a way to gain respect from the upperclassmen at SHS. On some of the funnier moments on the bus rides, he would throw me into the discussion sometimes. I was a bit embarassed at first, but grew to like these moments.

One of our weirdest bus rides - and only the coaches and I know this - was our trip to Guilford. It was a slow drive and we feared being late. I made a suggestion to coach and the bus driver to take a shortcut because the road we were about to drive on was a mess with construction. To my surprise, Coach acted on my suggestion and proceeded to put any blame on me and me only if something were to go wrong. We ended up making it in time, and I recall some of the sophomore girls being in awe at the height of Guilford's 7-foot-1 Woody Julian outside the school entrance.

Because of coach's efforts to make his manager a true part of the team, I was sometimes able to make it to after-game pizza parties, such as Kim's. The graciousness was something I appreciated so much that, come Valentine's Day, I donated a lot of money into the Prom fundraiser by buying roses for them. One thing led to another, and they've become people I'll never forget.

Thank you, Bruce.

And apparently he liked what I was taping at the games. (I personally thought I was sub-par and feared the girls wouldn't learn anything from my "poor" taping skills). Those tapes were sent to Prep Sports Online for inclusion on a season DVD.

That was the start of a sports media career that I still have to this day.

Thank you, Bruce.

Even though my roles at SHS became more fluid in the coming years, he still had trust in me to either operate the scoreboard or serve as PA announcer at freshman games.

Thank you, Bruce.

He had been in the area sports spotlight since a terrific high school career at Chadwick, which led to being picked by the Los Angeles Dodgers in the 1976 MLB Draft as a pitcher.

Coach started his career at Tonica before moving to Prophetstown, where he led the 1982 Prophets to a regional title. After that, he briefly coach boys at Dixon before a long stint as girl's coach there and at Sterling. He became athletic director at SHS later on, and did such a fine job that the door would open for him at Carl Sandburg.

Coach and I have only talked once since he moved, and that was when our 2001-02 team was inducted into the SHS Athletic Hall of Fame. He jokingly asked if I was going to tape the ceremony.

I have, however, seen Coach at times when Carl Sandburg is competing. He was at the Dvorak wrestling tournament cheering on his wrestlers at the prestigous meet at Harlem. The last time I saw him was when Sandburg won the Class 3A Team Wrestling title in Bloomington almost a year ago.

I am told that many, many kids at Sandburg loved him and were thankful for his support. We take that for granted in northwest Illinois, and for him to have such an impact on these kids as well is another thing that I'll remember him by.

If I would have taken that path out East professionally, my destination would have been somewhere near Orland Park.

Bruce was one of the best in the high school sports world. And I will miss him greatly.

Thank you, Bruce, for having such a great impact on my life. I know my basketball friends and many others share the same feeling.

Cody Cutter (SHS '05)
Girls Basketball Student Manager - 2001-2004

Love Through The Written Word

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.31.20
Current Song - If You Leave Me Now (Chicago)

As many of you know, I am one of the shyest people this world has ever seen.

When it comes to love, expressing my feelings through the spoken word has been very difficult.

Why? When I was in grade school, my favorite cartoon was 'Doug'. That cartoon featured the title character thinking about things, and in almost every important moment think of a worst-case scenario. I was always thinking of that worst-case scenario when the time came to tell the girl I loved my true feelings.

Because of this extreme nervousness, I have never had a girlfriend. Telling Amber I loved her was a rare moment of breaking out of my shell. Giving those roses to Carly in 7th grade was a rare moment of breaking out of my shell. Mailing a birthday card to Emily was another one. A few years later, I felt just a little more confident when I gave my softball friends some flowers and a letter of appreciation during their Senior Night game. (Come to think of that, I also wrote messages for them when I traveled to Chicago for a summer league game).

When I was unable to say anything, I wrote it down.

About 13 years ago, I took in an SHS junior varsity football game and got bored. Someone was on my mind quite a bit (S.B.) and I laid down underneath the stadium on a bunch of football pads. As I stared at the concrete bleachers above, some words began to flow in my mind.

Those words were "beautiful," "lovely," "pretty," and "wonderful." Then I tried to find rhymes. After that, I had just written my first original non-school-assignment poem: called "From Me To You" --

This is to a girl
Who I love so much
A girl so pretty
I love her a bunch

A really great girl
Who I really adore
To her I write
This poem for

You're so beautiful and you're so lovely
Totally conquering my mind
So pretty so wonderful
There's not another girl of your kind  

I love you

I decided to share this poem to everyone, and the platforms were my old Geocities personal webpage and ICQ. While I didn't reveal the subject of this poem, I had recieved many positive notes about it. Especially from girls.

That was, for a while, the only poem I wrote.

Then, during my sophomore year of high school, another girl took over my mind. It was to the point where I started writing poems again.

At that point, I bought one of those hardcover journal books at Borders. I started writing.

The first poem was called "A Purple World" --

Purple is a lovely color
Especially as a uniform
Purple is my favorite color
A color like no other

Chicago said Colour My World
Might I suggest purple?
A dedication to my girl
Who makes my heart whirl

And whirl that purple
Into my arms
Where I want you
Fufilling my charms

Purple is the sky above
In purple, we love

Two more poems - very terrible poems at that (as I look back in my book) - were written about this same girl.

Then came the phase where I was feeling very angry and depressed. A long poem called "The River" described my feelings about Sterling and Rock Falls friends. A rough draft version was found by my parents. It contained the line "Queen Lorraine the Fat," which described our mean landlord when living at Rock Falls, before moving to Sterling in '97. I think this copy is somewhere in their memories box.

After that, I just started writing senselessly into this book to try to fill up space. The haiku "Lack of Love" was the climax of this phase:

I am so distraught
Not one girl will love me much
Today I shall die

(So much for that last line, thankfully)

Looking back at that book, there are two additional poems that I wrote which I feel comfortable enough to share. I had grown up just a little more at the time, and the words began to make more sense. The first is called "Not Available" and the second is called "So Nervous."

"Not Available"

I loved you, I loved you, I loved you so much
Your beautiful loving I'll never forget
Been many years, but wanting in the clutch
Hoping you'll be mine, not just for rent

But you made a change I did not like
You chose to stay with him, together
What you changed into was a telling sign
That you'll be with him forever

The change tells significantly
The true meaning of what you are now
Now many more want, and you don't care to see
Further making me go out after I bow

He's on the defense, the offense in a clutch
Smiling as you cheer and shout
Your lover has now thrown the pitch
That made the mighty Cody strike out


"So Nervous"

You've known me for a long time
But no time is crucial than this
But all you think I am is pantomime
Because when I talk I'm so nervous

Baby, I really love you
I'm just so nervous to hell
Sometimes I feel very blue
These moments I don't feel well

Even though you know me, you don't
You only know that I exist
I am merely a footnote
But you are one I can't resist

Please will you realize where I'm coming from
You don't know but you inspire me
Don't look at me like a bum
I love you, can't you see?

The subject of the second poem was also the subject of the only poem with a girl's name as the title. I wrote these in college. She was the only crush I ever had in college, but it just didn't work out as Sauk is a very big place with many students and different time schedules - whereas in high school I saw them in the hallways daily. I won't display the poem on here because her name is in the poem itself also.

After each poem, I wrote down the year I penned it in the book. The last poem shows "2007," which is right around the time my crushes had started to burn out.

Five years later, and 12 years after writing my first poem, another girl came into my life. Hence the poem called "Love Is Blue." I wrote a rough draft and shelved it for a year before finding it one day not too long ago. After modifying it, I printed it out and framed it. The poem sits on a shelf in my living room.

My eyes have been booked
My heart forever booked
Never seen how beauty looked
For forever this has took

My heart says yes and mind says no
I don't know you but I can't let go
The prettiest girl if you may
In the world today

We looked and our eyes stood still
Moving only deeper to drill
The tears that drop are what I feel
Wanting all of this to be real

I'll never forget your smile
And the angelic voice you speak
Or when I made you giggle a while
You make me so weak

As I slowly let go of your hand
And kiss you above
I absolutely understand
Good-bye forever my love

What came to be in that hour
My true weakness unfurled
I wish I had the power
To give you the world

As of right now, I have a new poem in the works. I'll be releasing it on Valentine's Day. Except this time, I will be verbally reading it on video. This one's one of the longest poems I've written, but comes at a time when I am learning so much about growing up and adulthood.

I call it the best poem I've written since my first, way back in 2000.

So I've got two more poems to write into the book.

1st and 10

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.30.20
Current Song - Feels So Good (Chuck Mangione)

Downtown Rock Falls was only a few blocks away from where I lived (corner of 3rd Avenue and 5th Street) during the bulk of my grade school days.

There weren't really any stores worth visiting. The first one that came to mind was a sports card store called Gold Glove. It was located next to Cardwell's on 1st Avenue. However, it was "across the highway" and that meant hoping no one I knew would notice. The only cards I remember buying there were old Dennis Rodman ones from his Piston days - he was popular at that time and the cards didn't have his dyed hair. I thought it was unusual and bought them.

The store that would eventually run Gold Glove out of downtown Rock Falls was called 1st and 10. It was run by sisters who were huge Viking fans: Connie and Cynthia.

1st and 10 was located right next to the RF Post Office on 2nd Avenue. The store was a small barber shop before that. It had been there for a while before I peeked inside one day and they were selling sports cards.

The first card I bought there was a Cal Ripken (1992 Donruss Triple Play) that sold for $1. The card is still $1 today.

When I was young, I collected baseball cards. When I began to be interested in football and basketball, I started collecting cards of those too. I had a lot of them, to which I kept a numberic inventory of them.

I noticed that 1st and 10 had something called a "dime box." Single cards for just a dime. This was my chance to stock up and show them off. So I'd save my dimes and make constant trips to the store to see what was in the box of neatly sorted cards. That, and it was also where the latest Beckett card pricing guides were sold.

It became my after-school trip. I'd walk the block home from school, drop my bookbag on the back porch and tell my aunt (who babysat Chris and Dan) that I was going to the card shop. I'd walk from my backyard onto the alley and cut across the yard of this big apartment house (actually walk on the top of a stone wall that divided the apartment lot and Pinkston's house) and onto 2nd Avenue.

You'd walk in the front door and have to walk to the right, through another door, to get in the store. The front counter was right there and was sort of U-shaped. Shelves of wax packs were along the wall behind the counter, and if you wanted one you'd have to tell them and they'd give you the box to pick your pack. Off to the right on the glass counters, next to the store's front window, were the baseball, basketball and NASCAR cards along with the dime box. Off on the left side of the front counter were the football cards.

On the other side of the football cards was an area filled with football stuff: clothes, footballs, coozies, hats, and things like that. Finally, right next to the front door was a door to another room where more stuff was located.

I never had the money to buy anything other than cards, and packs of cards.

I became such a regular customer there that they start letting me help out with the store. One day, they recieved a whole bunch of cards and they needed help sifting through them to see what was worthy of the dime box. I was the dime box expert, so I helped out. They didn't want to sell any "commons". For my couple of hours' worth of work, I was paid a pack of cards from the 1996 Collector's Choice Update set.

The pack of 10 cards was worth 99 cents. This was the first set that I truly wanted to build a complete set of. The rookies that year? Eric Moulds, Marvin Harrison, Lawrence Phillips, Simeon Rice, Ricky Dudley, Mike Alstott, Tim Biakabutuka, Eddie George, Terry Glenn, Keyshawn Johnson, Karim Abdul-Jabbar, and Terrell Owens. I think only 5 of them had noteable careers.

Back to those "commons." We put something together called the "grab bag" where we put 20-25 cards in a brown bag and wrapped them up and sold them for 50 cents.

The 1996-97 football playoffs were special because the two expansion teams (Panthers and Jaguars) were in the conference title games along with the Packers and Patriots. I had to find all of the store's Panther, Jaguar, Packer and Patriot cards and seperate them from the rest. We sold those cards for a quarter at the time. That was also the first Super Bowl that I chipped into a scoring spreadsheet. They had to explain to me how it worked, and at first thought I was too young to be doing this.

I also remember taking a caculator and doing an entire inventory of the whole store - something Autistic that I can't seem to explain.

I was just one of the regulars. A guy named Duane (a Cowboy fan) and his son (whose name I forget) were also regulars. The son may have stolen cards. One story I remember was when these SP-X football cards were made (die-cut in the shape of an X) and he "just found them" on top of of the stamp machine at the Post Office.

The best pull from a pack that I found was a Topps Chrome rookie of Eric Moulds. That set of rookie cards for some reason became real expensive, and I wound up selling it to Home Plate sportscards in Sterling for $20.

I would go there rain or snow. One day I was determined to go there when it was real cold and snowy. I walked in and nearly fainted when I met the warm air. On these days, either Connie or Cynthia would drive me home after closing time.

On one winter day, a huge fight broke out at the Corner Tap that spread outside. It all unfolded just outside our window.

The fun ended when I moved to Sterling in May of '97. Connie and Cynthia liked me so much that they were saddened when I told them I was moving, and wasn't allowed to cross the bridge. The last month of living in Rock Falls was like the building end to a TV series finale.

1st and 10 eventually moved next to Arthur's in Rock Falls for a while before relocating to downtown Sterling, where they were at in 2004. When I worked for the newspaper, I wrote a column about baseball cards that got their attention. They still remember me to this day.

When I was in school, the following of professional sports was huge on the second floor of Merrill. Locker after locker was filled with colored sports logos that Mr. Stralow had copies of. As much as I was around sports logos at 1st and 10, I didn't have one on mine. I hated coloring because I could never get within the lines. (One of those "Doug" moments where I thought people would laugh at me).

Teachers like Mrs. Vanderlaan, Mr. Stralow and Mr. G at Merrill helped build what would become Rock Falls's sports culture. Just a couple of years after I moved, Brian Vance made "the shot." The summer I moved, 12 young girls (many of whom are great friends of mine) won a little league state softball title and strung together many more.

I'd say 1st and 10 was instrumental in keeping a professional sports presence alive in Rock Falls, which helped influence all of this.

20 Things That Are Preventing Me From You-Know-What

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.13.10
Current Song - Love Hangover (Diana Ross)

I remember the first serious thought of "boyfriend-girlfriend." It was in fifth grade when my crush at the time was pulling a fast one on me.

That was 15 years ago. Since that time I have seen many of my classmates form these relationships. Other than that one time I was bluffed into something I didn't quite want, it's been a 15-year drought.

Now I'm seeing classmates that were formerly in the same boat as me now having the time of their lives. They never had a girl in high school. I'm rowing that boat alone now.

I honestly think I'm the last holdout. Wait, no. There are others who have jumped the ship and given up. Not me.

Wait ... the same Cody Cutter that ....

Yeah, that one.

This "last holdout" has been around both the cream of the crop and the bottom of the barrel. Nothing has materialized.

I always wonder why that is the case. Of course it's my fault. But the exact details as to why that is have been very hard to explain.

Through bullet points, I have put together a list of reasons why I am still single after all these years.


1. I don't get out much - Because of interests (high school sports) and work (Shell), this leaves very little room for other commitments. This has been a routine since high school, where I was always covering a high school sports game. The high school sports stuff is necessary in order to maintain the desired career that I want (journalism). The Shell stuff is necessary in order to make money.

Since I have never been able to get out much, I don't know what "getting out" feels like. I think I can count on one hand all of the "getting out" times I have had since high school.

Also, because of how bound I am amongst the two, this doesn't create any "her" time (in other words, time for her).

2. High school sports is a bare cupboard - The reason why I go so far to cover games is to keep interest in high school sports high. Somehow, I possess this ability to care about many schools and athletes when no one else does.

It is because of this that, during almost all games outside of Sterling/Newman/Rock Falls that I cover, I know no one else in the gym except a journalist or a coach.

In regard to the "same interest" concept, those women that share this particular interest of mine either 1) are married, or 2) do not exist.

3. I am overweight - Since I pose a health hazard, the girl has to think about either potential laziness (which, if hooked, will NOT happen) and a possible medical bill for when something bad happens.

Looks do mean something. You never see girls fawn over someone like Artie Lange, Chris Christie, or Ralphie May.

4. My primary interest involves the Internet - which leads some people to think that I'm qualified to be a member of the Geek Squad at Best Buy. Truth is, I can't tell you about the components of a hard drive. I just know how to put a website together. And edit pictures, and edit video, and upload things onto YouTube.

5. I've been unable to keep up with the times - This is mostly because I find myself "making do" with earlier technologies such as compact disks, standard cell phones, desktop computers, and cash.

Everyone else around me is always hooked on the latest tech craze. I can't fathom why they need a new iWhatever every two months. This leads to people thinking that I am cheap and boring.

6. I do not smoke or drink - This statement seems like blasphemy, but everywhere I look I see this. I don't smoke because I know damn well that it kills me. I don't drink because I know damn well it kills me.

Because I don't drink, people think that I am a wuss and therefore "not cool." I know I'm not smart when it comes to my body (See #3), but I'm smart enough to know what kills me and doesn't. This is a penalty that really ticks me off.

7. This thing called Autism - What it really does is distort courage. I always find myself wondering "what if something goes wrong," when people push me toward someone.

In school, I could never find it within myself, except once with Amber, to tell a girl exactly how I thought of them and the words "I love you." When I did let my love known, someone was always there to ridicule me for saying what I had to say. That someone pretty much scarred me for life and I will never forgive her.

8. I always doubted those that "helped" me - From what I understand, there were classmates of mine in middle school that tried to steer me into someone's direction. These classmates were the popular kids.

I could never quite tell whether they were really out there to help me, or ridicule me.

One thing's for sure, whatever help ceased to be in high school. Either because of anger, or boredom.

9. I have to ask myself, "Do I foresee a future with you?" - For some reason I possess the ability to know a person's personality based on words, mood and opinions. If you and I don't mix, I just don't see it happening.

This is why I have, so many times, prematurely looked the other way. I'm always pointing, "no," "no," "no," "no," "no," "no," "no," ....

10. I am picky - I am picky because I value myself (or whatever little is left of me). If I go into unknown territory and come out battered, that scar remains with me, and what people think of me, forever. I have a lot of things listed in the "I do NOT want" column than the "I DO want" column.

11. I make $9.25/hour - Not quite enough to make someone's wants and desires to come true on demand.

The mental barriers of Autism prevent me from working at a job where my hands are dirty every day, where I drink from a thermos, and such. Thus I don't have any salary. My school grades also killed the ability to work from a cubicle.

12. I can't tell Fun from Serious - In school, I would see my friends pick on the girl I liked, and they laughed it off. However, if I did the same thing, it bothered them.

Perhaps it didn't come out of my mouth as playful.

13. The shyness snowballs into seclusion, starting rumors - The most often one about me was that I had "obsessions." Not true. Another time involved stalking. Not true. Another time involved whether I was gay. Not true.

Because I have no social paper trail, people often fill in the blanks in their own to match the volume of those that they do know. They seem to always get it wrong. That leads to rumors that hurt my image. Hate that.

14. I have a belief that you just can't up and meet someone and like them - Many, many people have suggested that I get a change of scenery outside of Sterling and Rock Falls. I have to fully understand the person before I can make any kind of move. They say "getting girls" is easy. I think not.

I'd much rather be with someone that I have known for 10 years instead of 10 weeks.

15. I don't know what to do as far as a social life - My mind refers to things that the generation above me used to do. But I always have to ask myself whether that stuff still works. Where are the places to go? What are the things to do? I just don't know.

I have friends that DO know, but they won't tell me. They think I have to figure it out for myself. I CAN'T!

One thing I DO like to do is to go to the Riverboat.

16. People think I'm reserved and quiet - As far as being reserved goes, this Blog has detailed every thought of my life since graduating high school. So I'm not "quiet" about anything.

While I do not talk a whole lot, I do write a whole lot.

17. Fear of the "journalist" feeling when it comes to new interests - This one I need to explain.

I have certain interests, and it's like DNA. I often find myself simply asking questions when doing something that I don't have an interest in, and she does. This, I think leads to a dull moment, and we get lost.

I like local history. Perhaps she likes quilting.

18. So much time has passed - As I mentioned at the start, any start will be a very late one. I have very little paper trail when it comes to relationships, and whatever does exist is just a forgotten memory.

19. I whine a lot - This one needs no elaboration. But I only "whine" to get panicked thoughts out of my head and into the open, away from me. Everyone hates it when I talk about this girlfriend drought of mine, but what good will it do to keep it bottled up in my head?

At least sharing my frustrations can somehow open a path for success.

20. I doubt myself a lot - This is the #1 reason.

I can never "just do it." I have to carefully prepare for these things and make sure all of the pieces are in place before embarking on something.

It's always been "I can't do it," because "I don't know how to do it."

Embarassment will cloud people's image of me, and how they treat me and such.

I don't have people to guide me as to if I'm doing things the right way, or the wrong way. I often wish they would, and often wish they would just spoon-feed me. But I think my friends don't want to be involved in this long-term commitment to helping me both find a girlfriend and maintaining a relationship.

My cries for help have gone unanswered. People think it's just a monologue. It's not. These cries are real.

So feel free to help, or add on to my list. I know there's gotta be a way.

Losin', Savin', Earnin', Lovin'

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.72.10
Current Song - Makes Me Wonder (Maroon 5)

Life is just being lived right now.

Recently it's been in a constant state of flux with nothing new ever happening. I just finished my fifth straight day of work, and finished with nearly 39 hours for the first time in a long time.

Three straight weeks of 39 hours can be both good and bad.

I feel like writing, but can't organize a thought together.

Here goes:


Losin'

I recently hit the -30 mark in losing weight. Much of that is because I'm just not eating the things I used to in the same quantity. I have reduced the number of calories consumed per day while moving around a little more than usual.

The next stage involves eliminating certain foods from the cabinet. Fast food has gone down. Meat has gone down. Everything else, however, has remained the same.

A trip from a friend made me aware of sodium. Because of trying to save money, the stuff that I have been buying to keep meals wholesome happen to have plenty of sodium in them: chili, soups, pot pies, etc. Perhaps that's the next step.

I'll try by going normal for a couple of days while making a sodium count. Then cut back on that, and see if that translates into weight loss.

Chili, soups, pot pies and TV dinners have been this single man's food intake lately. Why? Because they are cheap, but filling.


Savin'

As a result of my constant price checking, I have determined that I won't pay more than a dollar for chili. Most chili is the same except for Wolf (too spicy for me) and Chiliman (my favorite). As far as chicken noodle soup goes, my limit is 50 cents a can.

The pot pies and TV dinners have all come courtesy of Hy-Vee. No, I didn't travel all the way to Clinton (the nearest Hy-Vee) just for them. I pulled the flyers out of the Quad City newspapers I sell at work. Then I take them to Wal-Mart, where they price match things.

I was able to get pot pies for 60 cents for 10 and get TV dinners for 80 cents for 10. All at Wal-Mart. All using price matching.

Actually, I had a 75-cents-off-8 coupon for the TV dinners. Ten TV dinners for $7.25. Without price matching and coupons, you'll be paying $10.00 instead.

I try to establish a minimum when I buy my "staple" items. I won't go any more than $2.50 for a 12-pack of pop, although I once bought 5 12-packs at Kroger for $10 during a sale. I won't go any more than $2.89 for a gallon of milk, although I saw an amazing-low $1.99 sale price for a gallon at a grocery store in Rockford recently.

Kroger was my latest store trip. I got a thing in the mail from them for a "$5 off" checkout coupon. I spent time sifting through the discounted bread and the manager's special shelves for things, as well as sifting through my coupons to see what can be doubled.

One thing I bought at Kroger was a four-pack of Energizer AAA batteries. It had a sale price of $3.49, but after doubling my 50-cent-off coupon, got it for $2.49. I haven't opened them yet, but really the only things I used a battery for are my audio recorder and my walkman. I'll be exploring the world of generic batties and see if they are worth it. Do they last as long?


Earnin'

As mentioned already, I will be working quite a bit lately. I have an off-day on Tuesday and one more on Friday, but I work another string of six days after that (working 14 days in a 16-day stretch).

I've never had a constant stretch like this since the times I used to fill in at the Dixon stations.

39 hours x 9.25/hour x 0.77 = my typical paycheck for this time. It's certainly a much-needed stimulus. Aside from the typicals, I need a new picture camera, two new rear tires for my car, and new wiper blades.

I'm working a mix of days and nights. Some say that I'm the reason for the scheduling drama, but I always try to find ways to make conflicts resolveable. While I am harsh about my Fridays, I was able to work out a deal where I could do two hours this coming Friday night to help someone.

Bending around like that needs to be a habit to survive in adulthood.


Lovin'

I have a poem for Valentine's Day. It is dedicated to four special girls whom I love very much.

Under The Weather

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.32.10
Current Song - Fool For The City (Foghat)

The flu has been going around lately. But I don't have that.

Instead, I cought a cold not too long ago. It progressed terribly while at work this past Saturday night.

It's a rare occasion when I call off of work, but I made the decision that night to do so for the Sunday afternoon shift I was slated to do. I do not recall the last time I called off work.

Saturday night was bad enough where my mind was in the wrong places. Since this was the start of the cold, I knew it was going to get worse on Sunday - and thus my work performance was also going to be sub-par.

In the past, I would have taken the risk to my health in order to earn money. In these times, I certainly do need it. However, in this process of growing up, I have learned not to be so careless about certain things.

Today, my cold is going away. The nose doesn't run, but the nagging cough still persists. Then last night I ate something that didn't quite agree with my throat. I'm taking deep breaths a little more often than usual.

I was off for three days. I spent all day Sunday in bed. I spent most of Monday in bed. Monday was the Martin Luther King basketball tournament at Hononegah, an event I had been going to for the past two years. I decided not to take the risk. Besides, not much came out of the tournament anyway.

Tuesday I felt well enough to make the trip down to Plano for a girls basketball game.

Now I'm just dealing with a sore throat.

I had three straight days off of work. However, I'll be working 11 the next 13 days. Just two off days.

The money will be raked in now.

So, How's That Diet Coming Along?

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.71.10
Current Song - I'll Play For You (Seals & Crofts)

I returned to NISB work on January 6.

As of this writing, I am down to 316. That is a -27 difference from when I began this crusade.


I missed it so much that I somehow immersed myself in so much work. This is high school sports withdrawl. At one point I forgot that I was on a diet. That was when I made up a plan to have something up on the website every day. I was trying to schedule myself to go to games at every available moment I wasn't either working or sleeping.

So now I got to find a way to maintain a sufficient high school sports website, AND lose weight, AND rake in enough dough at work to make it all happen.

Basically, I need to create more exercise time.

I have also taken in an increased work load for the rest of this week and all of next week. This therefore cuts into to website time. I don't have a problem with it, as this helps get me back into both financial and physical shape.

My only regret is that I sometimes have to miss big games because of more important commitments. Tonight's boys basketball game between Winnebago (66) and Lutheran (63) at Rock Valley College was a perfect example. Probably THE biggest boys basketball game of the year, but I had to work an afternoon shift from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. I didn't complain. I knew that with this type of balancing that these things were going to happen.

Right now, all I have left scheduled to do is the Belvidere @ East boys basketball game on Friday, the Hononegah MLK Tournament on Monday, and Ottawa @ Sterling boys basketball on Tuesday. I've only see one varsity girls basketball game this year (Sterling v. Newman) and one wrestling meet (LeWin/West Carroll @ Dakota). Obviously this is my worst school year since I started in this profession.

I have a plan in place that will hopefully make things less stressful. However, I am not going to reveal this plan on here, because I am becoming sick and tired of the constant upstaging.

But enough about my website work.

I'm pleased with the results so far, of being down 27 pounds since the starting line. This is usually the time of year when things start to go up because of the winter weather and such. So far I'm bucking that trend.

After writing this, I'm hoping to make a trip over to the treadmill and walk until I can't walk no more. I'll be wearing my Stan Getz Songbook on my headphones. The 50s soft jazz music provides the kind of motivation I need. These sax songs are those that you'd typically hear in a quiet bar while you and your lover are slow dancing on a stage.

Now I'm thinking deeper about my failures at love.

Time to get moving.

Anxiety Moments

Cutter's Log - Stardate 3102.41.10
Current Song - Subdivisions (Rush)

Those that grew up with me throughout middle school and high school know that I was the perfect example of high anxiety.

I hated getting up and talking in front of the class. I hated responding to a teacher's question when called upon. If these simple cases made me feel uncomfortable, imagine the "proud" moments of teenage life.

My sophomore speech class was a disaster, up until the final speech - which happened to be something I was really comfortable talking about. The class gave me a standing ovation after my speech.

If you grew up with me, you have seen at least one or two of these "anxiety moments" when my mind shuts down. In addition to the classroom, these moments also include going up to bat in little league, talking to family about school, and anything to do with girls.

Perhaps my biggest anxiety moment happened 11 years ago in the lobby of Tabor Gymnasium at RFHS.

There was this girl that liked me. One that I didn't know too much of. I was watching a RF basketball game in the student section, and her friends were pointing her out to me one section over. The game got over and all of the students made their way out of the gym.

At the moment I heard the words "Here she is Cody," I had the biggest anxiety attack in my life. All I was able to do was wave at her and walk out the door.

I wasn't quite ready for all of this, and a million thoughts entered my head in a split second. This jam of thinking made me sick to my stomach and the only way out was to exit the building and into my car. I did so thinking she would understand what had just happened, and there would be another time to actually make good on it. It turned out that this "relationship" was over after that moment.

That was the closest I had come to having a girlfriend.

I felt that moment took about 15 seconds. It may have lasted much longer than that, I don't know, I'd have to ask those that were there. It was the biggest anxiety attack that I had, but it wasn't the longest. I had quickly recovered from it and proceeded to move on. However, I wasn't the same after that moment.

You want to know some of those thoughts that spiked in my mind in that split second?

"What do I do know?"
"How do I maintain this?"
"I don't have any cash on me."
"What do I say?"
"I hope she doesn't realize that I really don't know her all that well."
"Will my Sterling friends look at me as if I'm some handicapped kid?" - I hated this feeling in school.
"What will my parents think? I hope they don't do anything to embarass me."
"What will my grandparents think? I REALLY hope they don't do anything to embarass me."
"Just how cool am I?"

When all of this, and the many more I can't recall, crashes inside my mind, it leads to a logjam of emotions and triggers a way to escape.

These were the same feelings that I had felt during almost every interaction with girls I had in school. I realized this, and that alone made things feel much worse.

Certain girls I could work with. Others I could not. It all depended on whether I REALLY "liked" her.

Let's use classroom groupwork as an example. Say I was paired with the girl I liked and two other kids. Things would go well until she would "make her move" (a longer than usual stare, or trying to hold my hand) to try to find out if what she hears is real. An excalating shutdown in my mind would take place.

It used to be, at Sterling, you knew Cody liked you if he would shut down in front of you. I knew that, and I tried my hardest to prevent myself from shutting down. The thought in my mind was this: If I shut down, they'll think that I'm useless and therefore not worthy of her heart.

Up until that moment at Tabor Gym 11 years ago, I was really careless when it came to liking girls. I liked them, and that was it. Only after that high anxiety moment did I start to stop and think about exactly how to undertake these relationships.

It was like going back to the drawing board and thinking about how to make these things all work out. I started thinking about the process without any particular girl in mind. Then I started thinking about the process with a particular girl - one of the best girls that everyone liked - and tried to figure out ways to apply that to any girl. I did all of this utilizing TWO schools worth (Sterling and Rock Falls).

You never heard about Cody liking a particular girl after that high anxiety moment. That's why. It's been 11 years and I'm still working hard at the drawing board with the X's and O's. But the truth is, there do exist girls that I liked since then, however I have kept quiet about things. Keeping quiet about these things have so far limited my girl-related anxiety issues.

However, by the time I was feeling comfortable with my ideas, the girls I liked were sold to someone else forever. Once the pool ran dry, the sports journalism started taking over my life.

Since working as a journalist, talking to girls has become much easier. Every girl that I have talked to since then has been strictly on a professional level. Although sometimes I have to dip down into conversational levels (equal to the girls' method of normal conversation) to help calm down one's nervousness during an interview.

Being interviewed can be a high anxiety moment. At first I didn't know how to help calm that anxiety in these high school kids (I have noticed this is more the case with girls than boys). I learned to stop smiling all of the time. However, I have wrestled with that feeling because I don't want to appear like a jackass. I've done these interviews enough times to make people feel comfortable.

My early days as a journalist involved the Rock Falls girls that I had known since little league softball days. That experience was huge because that involved trying to be a professional-minded journalist while around a bunch of friends -- and in some cases, trying to balance love and work.

One case involved double anxiety. That's still the toughest interview I've ever had to do.

Then I found myself back at Tabor Gym for an event not too long ago.

I would not have walked up the bleachers and sat down and made conversation 11 years ago to these two girls. I did this time. When all was said and done, I had this humbling feeling in me as if I broke out of an anxiety shell. Lately I have tried to figure out how that all happened. I figured it out. It was a combination of improved comfort in talking with girls through past interviews, and the fact that there was no longer anything to prove or a statement to make.

In other words, I no longer had a crush on these two girls.

When the time comes that a woman does come into my life, I feel more prepared now than I did 11 years ago. Whether there are considerable steps made is up to you to decide.

"The CODEMAN?????"

Journalism Sins

Cutter's Log - Special Entry

I am realizing that my arrogance is pushing me closer to self-destruction.

Self-destruction is something that certain people wish upon me.

I'm starting to get the feeling that there are people that don't want me doing what I do. They know what I'm capable of, and are trying to do everything in their power to stop me. Because they feel that my advancement halts their own advancement. I'm young, and this is what happens.

You either love me, or you hate me. There is no gray area.

Why am I writing these words?

High school sports is my only connection with the outside world. Most of the friends that I have are within the high school sports scene. If you try to take away my passion for high school sports, you therefore destroy what little social connections I have left. You don't want to know what comes after that. You don't.

The two worst moments of my journalism career came within a month from each other. Right now I am at my lowest point.

I can't help but think of why this has happened.

The following is something that I rarely share. I need to go back to August of 2004 for a moment ...

***

I was on the path to the career that I always wanted. I was a part-time writer for Sauk Valley Media. During the summer I was assigned to cover most of the little league stuff. At that time, covering state little league tournaments was a bold move - "opening a can of worms" was the phrase. Because I was familiar with Rock Falls Softball and its little league success, I was tapped to coordinate all of that.

That was also the summer of the Gazette's 150th Anniversary work. I still remember the sports staff meeting we had. We each had to pick a great prep sports team and write about it. I chose 1985 Newman Wrestling, the team that won state. I was also assigned to write about the origins of high school football in the area, and how the Gazette covered it.

Our sports editor wanted this to be a masterpiece. So I didn't want to let him down.

I spent countless hours on the microfilm machine looking for history for both stories. I spent countless hours tracking down the whereabouts of the wrestlers. I spent countless hours putting the story together. I spent countless hours editing and chopping both stories - which were around 75 inches when all was said and done.

Countless, countless hours. Some days I would spend more than 12 hours in the office working on these stories. I put in a lot of work. I did so because this was a special edition.

Along the way, I did something that I should not have done. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but when it was said and done it ended up being costly.

I wasn't supposed to be paid for all of those hours of research and phone calls. I wrote them down on the sheet, but technically I wasn't supposed to. I didn't know that, and it was an honest mistake.

One of those long days was when the RF little league junior girls won the Central Region in South Bend and were the first RF team to advance to the World Series. I remember the head of the local little league walking into the office in celebration. He walks over to the sports cubicles, where I'm all by myself doing more research. Both of the news editors follow him. The guy hands me his cell phone and I'm taking down information about the World Series pairings and such.

This was wonderful news for our area! Since I was already in the office, I embarked on trying to form something together for this. The first thing I had to do was call my sports editor and tell him the news.

He was extremely upset.

????????????

He complained about the fact that now we had to send someone over to Delaware to cover them to save our asses from complaints - right in the middle of football tab season. I heard cuss words. I couldn't quite understand why he was so upset. I was happy. I hold true to a line for a column I once read:  A longtime Rockford sportswriter once wrote that we can't root for teams, but we can certainly wish them well.

Pictures were coming back from South Bend later that night. When I got the call that they were 15 minutes away, I waited by the door. One of my co-workers had this bouncy ball and I took it with me to bounce off the wall while waiting for them.

Back to the pay sheets.

My editors were made aware of my "overblown" pay sheet and confronted me about it. My sports editor took me to a meeting room where we talked one-on-one about this.

I was 18 years old and frightened by what had just happened.

I was confronted about playing with the bouncy ball, and how I was "on the clock" when I was doing all of that.

My mind unraveled after that. The scared me went off trying to defend myself.

When it came to the many hours working on the anniversary stories, I declared my dedication to the project. He wanted it to be a masterpiece, and I wasn't letting him down. Then he said that it didn't take anyone else that long to put something together.

That's when I blew a fuse.

I don't remember the exact words I said. But frightened little me said something to the tune of "Maybe it's because I am more dedicated than you guys!"

We went straight from the meeting room to HR after that. My dreams were dashed. "Creative differences" is how I consider it, and how I write it on my resume.

I didn't know how to counter all of the things he was saying to me. The only thing I could do was get angry. Perhaps I got too angry. There was nothing I could to do change it. My dad even talked to him to no avail. So I spent the next few weeks trying to figure out how to move on from this suffocation.

I started Northern Illinois Sports Beat.

Technically, I've been a free agent from the print world since August of 2004, and have always wanted to get on somewhere. My biggest shot was last year at a three-day-a-week paper in the area, but was passed over.

I am still looking for that opening, and looking for all of the right pieces to fall in place.

***

That is the story of why I am not working for the Gazette anymore. Even 8 years after getting fired, people ask me if I'm still working there.

The guy that replaced me is the current sports editor.

***

Because I still considered myself a writer, and loved doing what I do, I needed to find a way to survive in this profession without the guidance that a newspaper gives you. (I am still going by a 2004 AP Stylebook for crying out loud).

Surviving on your own is tough, and I needed to be innovative with the website. At first I was doing well, but then I met my match: the new sports editor at the Gazette.

He was GOOD! Because of his talents, I struggled to find a way to keep up with him. I was angry. Did he have flaws? Certainly. And I let him know about it in my anger.

It was then when I became the root of all evil within those sports cubicles.

The "young kid" argument was null, according to them, because I was already an established presence in the northern Illinois prep sports scene. I questioned the way things were run (in particular the "awards" arguments), and this editor took it seriously.

During the grudge match, I didn't want to "be" him. I wanted to "beat" him. I ran the first few years of NISB as an angry son-of-a-bitch. That developed this "I want to be the very best" reputation that I've have had in me for all these years. All of a sudden I didn't want to beat just him. I wanted to beat everyone.

So much for that race. He is now one of the assistant SE's at the Trib.

That bridge was burned before it was even built. His "hello"s to me at State events are a mumble anymore.

Speaking of burning bridges ...

The day I was fired from the newspaper, the first co-worker to hear about it was the assistant sports editor. A nerve must have struck in him because he and I have not seen eye-to-eye to this day. My constant rattling at this editor made things worse. We even had a shouting match during an event.

While relations have improved in the past two sports editorships, I feel that the thing that's holding me back in this profession are the things that I may have done to make my former co-worker angry.

I don't know if saying "sorry" is going to help. I don't know what it's going to take.

***

This sports year has been extremely rocky, and I have had a lot to think about when it comes to running a website, and being a sportswriter.

I'm at a crossroads at the moment. But I know where I'm going. I have spent a decade doing this, and I have no plans to hang it up.

I could come up with new ideas to improve coverage of area high school sports, as there are still things on my workshop shelf. But I am very reluctant to use them right now, because I think it'll only lead to more bitterness and disaster - not to mention a nuclear war.

People would think of me more as a jerk than an inventor.

But I've spent the past half of that decade as a jerk. I know sportswriters say that about me behind my back, and thus I have developed this negative reputation. This "office rat" wants to change that.

I have heard of "Born Again Christians." I wonder if there are "Born Again Sportswriters"?

I don't want to be that jerk anymore.

How Bi-County Made It Possible For Me

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.82.21
Current Song - Take Me To The River (Talking Heads)

In April 1990, I was referred to the University of Wisconsin's Waisman Center by my doctor to study what was going on with my speech delays and unusual behaviors. I was four years old at the time.

The result of four months of work turned out to be my diagnosis of a "mild" form of Autism.

The professionals at Madison referred me to the Bi-County Special Education Cooperative, headquartered at Wallace School.

All of this was confusing for four-year-old me. To me, it was just this new experience called "school." I took two years of preschool.

My mom cried on my first day of school, in August 1990. I was bussed in one of those really, really old conversion-van type buses that was made to look like a school bus. The bus driver's name was Joyce, I think. I think most of the Wallace kids were on the same bus. One of them was Whitney, who I had a locker next to many years later in high school.

Our bus dropped us off in front of the Wallace School gymnasium. We were told to walk up the ramp (one of those handicapped ramps that went right then left) to the gym door. We had to walk straight past the gym floor, along the stage cushioning, to the hallway.

Not too far off of the gym door was Room 4. That was my preschool room. Julia, Tammy, and Diane.

I am told that on my first day of school, I was so nervous that I hid under the teacher's desk. I don't directly recall this, but thought it was interesting to share.

Here were a bunch of other kids, all around my age, that were all in the same boat. As far as I was concerned, here were some more toys to enjoy.

Trying to exhaust every pre-school memory is now difficult for me, because it has now passed the typical 20-year window of memory. But here goes:

*I had no idea what the word "preschool" meant. I did know what "school" meant. So any time a kid would misbehave, the ladies would say something to the tune of "we do not do that in preschool." I had to hesitate a bit because of this extra syllable before "school." I didn't know what it meant.

*The ominous sound of the Mill whistles would find its way into the room, and were louder than what I could hear back home on the east side of town. I can still hear those today.

*I can still visualize our classroom, and its light-blue walls and polished wood bookshelves in the back. I went back to Room 4 once or twice after graduating pre-school and remembered that the arrangement was the same as it was back then. The set of teachers desks were at the corner directly opposite of the classroom door, with the carpet area in between. Near the chalkboard was this tackboard covered with paper. It had all of the kids's birthdays on it, all on little paper birthday cakes.

*There was this song that would always play as we gathered around in a circle in the carpet area. I remember part of the rhythm and only one word, which was "rainbow." It was all on vinyl.

*I had these speech classes, and they were held in this small classroom addition. That's all I know about that.

*The advanced memory part of me had to have started with the lesson on knowing where we lived. There were these little cut-up houses from colored construction paper, and they were laminated with our addresses written on them. I think the lesson here was to remember where we lived in case we got lost, and we'd have our address somewhere in our memory to recall later. Julia would show us each "house" and ask "who lives on ..." It got to the point where I knew where people lived before they did.

*We were all in the same boat, but there was one kid whose Autism was severe. He was really the first kid that we knew was a kid, but was just so much different from all of us. It was through our interactions with him that we got to respect those who were far different than us. That kid was Jimmy, who could only moan and groan. But a very nice kid.

*My favorite toys were the clear-colored plastic tiles. They had slits on the corners where you could connect the tiles to create something. I didn't know what they were at first until someone showed me.

*Another toy that really stood out was the toy school bus. The room had a mix of carpet and solid floor, and they just happened to be lined up where I could picture the connecting rectangle shapes of floor (diagrammed at 90 degrees) as two-way streets. The only other toys I sort of liked were these large brick-like shoe boxes.

*My first tote bag was this cheap dark blue bag with the thin handles. In large lettering on the bag was my mother's handwriting: "Cody Cutter"

*We all got our individual pictures taken one day in the gym. The pics are still somewhere in the family photo tin. The background was a bunch of slaps of paint, and I had to stand with one foot on a stool holding a paint brush. I had this ugly red and olive green shirt on, and white shoes with these larger than life tongues.

*Someone either my dad knew, or my grandparents knew, taught in the next room over.

*Most of the memories are personal, meaning I have extremely little, or no, recollection of playing with other people. Five of the kids that stood out the most were Jimmy, Whitney, this bigger kid named Danny, Dennis was someone I went to school with later on in Rock Falls, and the other I'll mention later.

*Preschool was where I was first introduced to the computer. They were those little Apple Macs, and they were in the computer lab on the second floor. Going to the second floor was something different. Wallace had ceased to be a grade school in the late 1980s and most of the rooms were vacant. The only other thing I remember being up there was the JTPA. Anyway, my only memory with the computers were that they didn't have a mouse, or something. I recall the keys "I," "J," "K," and "M." The "I" was to move up, the "J" was to move left, "the "K" was to move right, and the "M" was to move down.

*I was invited to participate in the pre-kindergarten class just down the hallway at times. One of the kids in that class was my friend Evan's older sister. Evan was my first real friend, and we lived on the same block. I don't have any other personal recollections of these moments.

*There were a couple of times we took mini field trips not too far away from Wallace. We all walked over the the old Dairy Queen for some ice cream. Then on another occasion we went over to the Kastle for some ice cream. On our way back to Wallace from there, we walked by Fell's Barber Shop. He gave us all these little hard strawberry candies. Both the Kastle and Fell's were demolished for County Market property nearly a year later.

*Our final day of preschool was capped by a graduation ceremony. We had recieved preschool diplomas.

*My first crush was in preschool. I wrote about her in a previous Blog entry:

You read that right, I had a crush on someone in pre-school. I don't think boys know this thing called love at age 5. I did for some reason. Usually the first sign of love in someone is a psychological trait in all little kids through “I love my mommy,” and was extended by showing of love from my aunt and from my grandmother. I think this carried over to television cartoon characters such as Eureeka from “Eureeka's Castle” and Penny from “Inspector Gadget.”

I will never forget one scene from Eureeka's Castle when Eureeka was sleepy and wanted to take a nap. She yawned and spoke very softly in her high-pitched voice. It was probably the first minor sexual thrill I ever had. How that led to that, I just don't know. After that, it became solidified in my head that girls were very likeable, unless they provoke me. When we lived in Sterling (the first time) there was a girl my age that lived next door, and a couple more kitty-corner from that girl's house. All three provoked me in some way.

When I went to preschool for the first time, I was around quite a few girls that were my age. They didn't seem as bad as these three that lived near me. This solidified my belief, brought upon by Eureeka, that girls aren't so bad after all. They were better if they looked more like Cinderella and had the bright hair that Eureeka had.

Enter my first crush. Nevermind the fact that she had to get around with a cane. She was pretty. That's all I remember of her, however. I cannot remember any memories of interaction. Perhaps my preschool teachers know.

Her name's Malorie.

***

Julia always kept a close watch on me, even in the many years AFTER preschool. As I mentioned before, she wrote a letter to me right around the time I graduated from high school. In the letter was a copy of the attendance sheet. Of the 12 kids in my second year, 10 of them were from Sterling.

Here were some of her memories of me:

"When you were 5, Diane (my aide) was reading a type written report and you came up behind her and started reading it to her!"

"You used to say to me: one "C" one "O" one "D" and one "Y" instead of saying Cody. When I told your dad that he didn't know what I was talking about so you must have just done it at school!"

"You wrote down all of the radio stations in the area on the chalkboard and made me promise not to let the other children read it. (None of the children could read, it was a safe bet!)"

"You were never [the word 'never' is underlined] a behavior problem but when you were in your last semester of preschool, you visited Mrs. Estrem's kindergarten class for a certain amount of time a week. One day you came back and you were very [the word 'very' is underlined twice] angry and said "Julia, I am not putting my head down!!" I never asked you to do that, so I talked to Mrs. Estrem and it turned out that a little boy in the class did [underlined] have to do that!"

"One day we took a walking field trip and we made a list of words that began with "C" for twenty minutes!"

"On our field trip to Deer Park, you read all of the signs but didn't really like the deer!"

***

Yesterday, nearly 21 years after walking through that Wallace gym for the first time, I was saddened to hear that Sterling Schools was ending its partnership with Bi-County. Sterling's kids today will not be able to experience the same things I had experienced through its preschool program.

The thing that apalls me is that Sterling's financial woes are that bad to where the ceasing of the partnership was a money-saving tool. None of the other districts discussed ceasing.

I will forever be grateful for Bi-County for laying the foundation for the rest of my life in education. Where most kids simply began during kindergarten, this two-year head start of sorts prepared me for what turned out to be a great kindergarten AND AN EVEN BETTER GRADE SCHOOL EXPERIENCE!

Today - outside of working at a gas station - people know who I am all throughout northern Illinois through my work with high school sports.