#35's Waste of Space

My Truly Beautie Cutie

2012-02-14T02:54:00.002-06:00

My Truly Beautie Cutie
-Cody Cutter-

I remember when you came in my life
Nothing else around really mattered
The thought of one day my wife
Our meeting my shyness had shattered

My eyes have been hooked
My heart forever booked
Never seen how beauty looked
For forever this has took

My heart says yes
My mind says no
This is for the best
And I can't let go

It's hard to go away
But forever she will stay
The prettiest young girl if you may
In the entire world today

Every move my world will stop
Want to tell her how I feel
My only move are the tears that drop
Wanting all of this to be real

So beautiful
My mind starts to lull
But that you cannot roll
Reality begins to pull

Her long blonde hair pulls me back
Shine as a beacon for me to come
And patience I am soon to lack
Love you, love you, love you more some

We looked and our eyes stood still
Moving only deeper to drill
Emotions my heart is filled
Forever love you I will

I'll never forget your smile
And the angelic voice you speak
Or when I make you giggle a while
You make me so weak

But as we move on
This bond can't be strong
It'll be all gone
Best forgotten

As I slowly let go of your hand
And kiss you above
I absolutely understand
Good-bye forever my love

To You, My Love

2012-02-09T00:36:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.90.20

Years ago (over 10), before I ever thought of writing for a career, I wrote a poem to kind of put my feelings about someone in written form.

I wrote it in eighth grade and stashed it away in my bookcase for years. With Valentine's Day coming up, I was somehow attracted, like a magnet, to this book. The first poem I had written in it was "To You, My Love".

This book was written in one of those blank journal books that one could find at Borders for a couple of bucks. I wrote this poem in it, and tried to fill up the pages with little avail. Looking back at the other poems, they aren't that good. I can tell I was just trying to fill up the space.

So here is the poem, and when that day comes that I ever find that woman of my dreams, I'll see if this poem does justice.

****

"To You, My Love"

By Cody Cuttter

This is to a girl
Who I love so much
A girl so pretty
I love her a bunch

A really great girl
Who I really adore
To her I write
This poem for

You're so beautiful and lovely
Totally conquering my mind
So pretty and wonderful
There's not another girl of your kind

I love you

Valentine's Day Is One Week Away

2012-02-06T15:20:00.005-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.70.20
Current Song - This Guy's In Love With You (Herb Alpert)

By my senior year of high school, I felt like all of the girls at both Sterling and Rock Falls were trying to prevent me from having a relationship. After a while I knew I was doing it all wrong; all my fault. I just couldn't understand why that was.

This is what sticks out in my head every Valentine's Day.

***

Each year at this time, the thoughts of past loves start to get into my head.

Here's what happens: I remember all of those V-Day card exchanges from school days, and that leads to the thoughts that come into my head whenever I saw someone I liked. In fact, I still have a fifth-grade valentine somewhere in my collection of stuff, with "xoxoxo" written on the envelope.

I was a very shy person back then (and I still am today), and I knew I couldn't establish the bond by myself. I turned to people to help me, and for some reason it would always end up backfiring on me.

I've been slapped around in fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, and eighth grade by the same group of girls.

My closest connection was in seventh grade, when I actually bought flowers for the girl that I loved at the time. And I asked her out; problem was, it was over the phone because I was too scared and nervous to do it in person. Then she announces this event to her friends, and one of them yells at me - telling me NEVER to ask her out again. Same girl that yelled at me was also trying to rattle me out of a girl that I had liked for quite some time.

It was to the point that whenever I had a feeling for someone by my eighth-grade year it just wasn't worth it. I knew I was going to get slapped around.

Then there was an event during my freshman year, and I quickly knew it was simply a distractive ploy to make me look bad. This RF girl - we've traded barbs at times - set this all up between someone and me, and I pretty much caught it. That's when I knew it was pretty much all over for me.

My methods of establishing relationships were all overshot and proved to be devestating. By high school I pretty much just sat back and waited for the right girl to come up. Trying to make the first move would just become devestating for me.

I was tired of making the first move, only to get slapped around.

So I just sat back and waited for the girl to make the first move. I'm still waiting.

But at the same time, I have had many scars and wounds from all of those times I've been mentally beaten to a bloody pulp (I've never been physically beaten up at school ever, but mentally, a million times).

It's been seven years since I graduated from high school. The wounds and scars from the girls, and their male cohorts, telling me to never fall in love again are still etched in my mind, but the pain can't be felt anymore.

But I'm not giving up.

I really feel like I can make a comeback and turn my success with girls around. I've spent a lot of time licking these wounds from school days, and I think I have found a way to build something successful. I think all of those times going out and exploring different places - restaurants, shops, quiet spots in the middle of nowhere - really helps.

To all of those girls from school, just go away. You're just going to do more harm to me than good. I hate to say that, even to the one girl I always had feelings for. But in the end, I know it'll just be more harm to me than good - but if she still has something to say about it, I'm all ears.

The slate starts clean.

It's easy for me to find a girl. It's easy for a girl to find me. However, we both have to find each other in order to truly make it work.

I'm confident that this will happen soon.

Keep Shooting For Your Dreams

2012-01-28T14:36:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.82.10
Current Song - Endgame (REM)

Many years ago I was thinking to myself what would life be like if I hadn't moved from Rock Falls to Sterling back in the spring of '97. Surely life would have been different. But the sticking point of all of that was, what would life be in regards to having friends, happiness, and my biggest worry at the time - having a girlfriend.

Once more I thought of an alternate reality, but not that of staying in RF.

I've had a lot to think about over the past couple of days. But just now, as I was wandering down a thought pattern, I found myself wondering what my life would be like without high school sports.

Nothing.

If, for some reason, my interest in high school sports was yanked from me, I would find myself alone, empty, disappointed, sad, lonely - and even more than what I am now.

Throughout high school, I wasn't able to build onto anything that I could use in the future. This includes school friends. Somehow when I tried, it was recieved very badly.

I became lonely and sullen throughout high school. Just when my world was collapsing around me, that's when I found the love for high school sports. I took it, embraced it, and stated that from that day forward I would never let it go.

If I let go of my love for high school sports, my dreams would be shattered and I don't think I'd have anything to live for. I mean, I went to college and spent five years of my life working on a mass communnication degree. If all of it was thrown away, all that time would have been a waste.

Quite often I've found myself staring death of my career and my love for high school ports at its face. Every time I've found myself in that position, I have said "No."

Personally, I have been torn apart and beaten to a bloody pulp because I simply do not want to throw away my career as a high school sports journalist.

I've made a lot of sacrifices - especially time and money - just to keep my career ambitions afloat.

I've seen my finances dwindle to the nothing that it is today. I've slept in my own cold car at state tournament games just to preserve the money I have to keep prodding on. I've starved myself to death at long marathon sports sessions just to try to keep the money afloat. Who knows what other sacrifices I have made, and they probably do not exist in my head because it has become so routine.

When I look past that face of the death of my career and my love for high school ports, I see the same nothing that I was before I fell in love with it. Life's necessities kept pushing me toward death's face. But each time I turned around and kept fighting.

High school sports and journalism is my life. I'd be a shell of my former self without it, and I don't want that happening to me.

A couple of years ago - after a few years of not going anywhere with friendships I hade tried to forge throughout school days - I wanted to try to get somewhere with friendships that fell under the same general interest of mine (high school sports). These few years were those that I literally had no support group around me. Over the past couple of years, I am trying to rebuild it through the interest of high school sports.

My presence as a journalist gave me unlimited boundaries as far as having access to people. My duty as a journalist gave me the power to interact with others - a power that I never really had during school days.

Through my love for high school sports and journalism I have met so many people from so many schools. I wanted to not just be that journalist, but I wanted to strive to be a friend and a person that can be accessible when it came to wondering what high school sports is truly like.

In the past decade of covering high school sports - and this may seem like bragging, but I think it's true - I have seen everything. I have seen every sport on every level. Big school, small school. Public school, private school. Starters and scrubs. Suburban school and poor school. All through almost every perspective imaginable.

Interview subjects, I don't feel, are simply interview subjects. That would be the slightest bit of rudeness in a way. Coaches, players, athletic directors, officials, fellow members of the high school sports media world and the like: I want to be their friend.

I feel like I have established that circle of friendship very well. And I am going to keep soldiering on with my dreams of becoming the best high school sports journalist I can be, and with the support of the people that I am around.

And to throw it all away would literally, and truthfully, be the end of one Cody Cutter.

I Sense Self-Destruction

2012-01-25T13:19:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.52.10
Current Song - Take a Bow (Madonna)

I was given one of those demoralizing lectures this morning, and I'm really reeling right now.

REALLY feeling uncomfortable with myself right now.

Then again, reeling is something I've been doing since September.

I don't think I've ever been put in a quondam this much in my life. Apparently, I found out that careful planning for the continuation of my own life isn't the way to go about living. Apparently, I have to be like Nike and "just do it" and walk into certain situations and deal with them.

I can't.

I literally can't.

My is so automatically set on careful preperation for future endeavors, that a change in course is going to lead to an explosion.

I can't just up and move into an apartment. I need to find the money and be able to hold onto it. But apparently, I need to go into this apartment and somehow blindfoldedly go about surviving.

I've been told life doesn't work out the way I go about it.

I've been told that I can't wait for all the right things to line up, and then go.

Just do it?

I'm not ready to go all reckless abandoned yet.

Just go out there and do it? Even on the very rare occasions when I did, the effects were disasterous. For example, I just can't go out there and tell who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world my true affection for her. That'll end up being disasterous.

But apparently there are more important things to think about before even touching the thought about relationships. I can't even get on my own two feet for crying out loud.

Just do it?

I see nothing but disaster.

But I've been persuaded to "just do it."

Do I walk the path toward disaster?

Or do I sit back and continue to be pushed around.

I can't find a gray area.

My parents, and two of my brothers have made such decisions in their lives. But that's because they have a support group to help them.

I don't have a support group. Apparently I wrecked that during middle school and high school.

And now I'm alone and empty. Between a rock and a hard place.

Where do I go from here? I just do not know.

Job Update 1/20

2012-01-20T19:53:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.02.10
Current Song - Too Close (Next)

Got through on another round of call-ups.

Last week was filled with high school sports events. Starting with Tuesday the 10th, I've been at Winnebago, Stark County, Moline, Rochelle, Stillman Valley, Hononegah and Newark. Because of this, I planned on having a week off of covering events.

I took the week off to restart my job search. I looked up a bunch of phone numbers around northern Illinois and made a bunch of calls. This time I used some advice given to me to better my chances of getting a "yes" answer. I've got over 10 possible places throughout northern Illinois to apply to. I also have several places to check back later on.

The locations range from Sterling and Rock Falls to Camanche, Kewanee, Spring Valley, Rochelle and Byron - and places inbetween.

I'm going to dedicate all day Monday to filling out the applications, dropping them off or mailing them, or filling them out online.

Hopefully this round will bring better results. Wednesday will be a follow-up day.

Tales From Tabor

2012-01-08T00:39:00.005-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.80.10
Current Song - Around The World (Daft Punk)

St. Bede boys basketball coach Mike Kilmartin said it best after his team lost to the Rock Falls Rockets in Saturday's Rock Falls Shootout at Forrest L. Tabor Gymnasium.

"It feels good to play at home," said the Bruin coach, who also coached at Mendota for a number of years.

And the Abbey is a tough place to play in itself.

Kilmartin, who once served as athletics director at Mendota, came to the six-game Shootout a little earlier than his team did, hanging out with Rock Falls athletics director Rich Montgomery for most of the time. Their two schools were long-time rivals in the North Central Illinois Conference. Kilmartin was there for all four of the varsity games on Saturday's docket.

I'm a little crazier ... I watched eight (yes, 8) games at Tabor Gymnasium (not to say that "Killer" is crazy himself) on Saturday.

At 9:30 a.m. the Rock Falls and Princeton freshman teams played in a non-conference game. The two former NCIC rivals have had the first-Saturday-in-January date for a while now. I have a friend who is the freshman coach at Princeton, so my yearly sojourn to the Rock Falls Shootout (or Sauk Valley Bank Shootout, or whatever it is called) starts with a game that is not technically part of the Shootout.

Freshman games are usually played in almost-empty gyms, and this freshman tilt was indeed the case.

You want to know what gives Tabor Gym the atmosphere is is revered for?

Officials have claimed that the Gym is one of the most difficult places to work a game at. Of course, most of the sentiments are coming from experience working varsity games. However, the visual aspects of the Gym are so unique that it gives officials a difficult time to make calls.

And when calls are difficult to come by, coaches will get mad.

And when gyms are empty, coaches angers are especially noticed.

After taking in eight games at the Shootout, I came home and tried to take a nap. I couldn't. The noises of screaming coaches, the crowd pop of a Rock Falls three-pointer and Daft Punk in the pregame were still resonating inside my head.

While others will complain that it gives people headaches, this is why I love covering the Rock Falls Shootout. Furthermore, this is why I love covering games at Tabor Gym (notice I did NOT say I love covering Rock Falls sports ... doing so would be a breach of journalism bias).

About the Green Forrest

The main competition gymnasium of Rock Falls High School was not part of the original building complex, which was built in 1921. The original gym is located on the second floor of the main school building, and is still used for underclass games on occasion. Tabor Gym was part of an addition made to the school in the 1955.

So while Tabor is not as old as Moline's Wharton Fieldhouse (1929) or as big as Rock Island's "Rock Garden" (1958), it has a mystique of its own.

However that came in the mid-to-late 1990s.

Rock Falls boys basketball only had a few regional titles up until RFHS alum Thom Sigel started his coaching career back home. Sigel gradually built a strong program that won regional after regional, sectional after sectional, and eventually a Class A state championship in 1999.

As Rock Falls started to enjoy its newfound successes, more and more people started coming to the games.

Tabor Gym was barely big enough to hold such a strong following. Six rows of plastic bleachers on both sidelines, and another ten of wooden bleachers on the balconies above them. The south baseline is only a few feet from a wall, and the north baseline is only a few feet from the stage. The sideline space is even smaller. Plenty of people packed in such a small gym creates the tough visuals that some officials still can't master.

Then there's that pocket in the northwest corner of the gym, the one with all of the Rock Falls students in it. When regional titles were won on a consistent basis, the students in this section were known as the "Rocket Rowdies." Perhaps it was the antics of these students themselves that gave Tabor Gym its environment it is known for.

Student sections came to be naturally. But simply cheering wasn't enough. The extravagance - the wardrobe form - and the clever chants were enough to draw the ire of players, coaches and officials alike. Over time, the students from opposing schools would make the drive to Rock Falls simply to try to out-do the Rocket Rowdies - and thus adding to the high-octane environment.

I started going to Rock Falls games during my freshman year in high school (it should be noted that I went to Sterling all of this time). Some games when Rock Falls was not playing Sterling, I would attend a Rocket game and sit with friends in the student section. I won't forget the usual chant when Rock Falls got "screwed" on a call: Seth Wade would yell out to the rest of the student section, "Boo Those Refs!" and everyone else would follow suit and yell, "BOOOOOOO!" I'm not sure what happened with this after he graduated.

The Light Show

Rock Falls boys basketball was as exciting to watch at Tabor Gym as the Chicago Bulls were at the United Center during the days of MJ. The Bulls had a light show, and this was concept was brought over to Rock Falls.

While Quincy and its dancing Blue Devil (flame and all) is a circus act, Rock Falls is a rock concert.

The gym's lights will all go off and a moving spotlight will make figure-eights around the gym. All to the tune of the introduction of Europe's "Final Countdown." When the climax of the intro music hits (the beating of the drums), the players will run out from an awning, that leads from the locker room, onto the court. Led my someone with a large "RF" flag, they'll circle around the gym and eventually wind their way to a center-court huddle.

The pregame announcements (sportsmanship, intro of officials, etc.) are all done with the lights off. Then Daft Punk's "Around the World" will start to play as the starting lineups are announced. Originally, the music would reduce in volume and still be lightly heard, when the opposing players were announced. Today, the volume is turned to zero when opponents are introduced.

After lineups the National Anthem would start to play, with the spotlight fixed on the flag next to the student section. As the Anthem played, the gym lights would gradually turn back on to a fully-lit gym. Nearly a full minute would go by until the gym was fully lit.

Former Dixon coach Steve Sandholm once quipped, "I wish the school would start paying it's ComEd bill."

Because of the light show the Rocket Rowdie student section would also bring glowing green lights of some kind, to make it look cool.

Tabor Today

In the past couple of years, Tabor Gym has gone through several rehabilitations.

The lights have since been replaced, and the pregame darkness ends with a flip of a switch - creating havoc on the eyes. The original brown plastic bleachers have been replaced by newer green ones, and the players bleacher now has back rests. The floor has been re-done. The sports-themed painted artwork, painted on the concrete walls in 1991 (there was a drawing of Andre Dawson in a Cub uniform), is gone. The pennants of the fellow conference schools are also gone, but only because of the recent conference affiliation switch.

But more importantly, the Rocket Rowdie student section isn't what it used to be from back when I was in high school (2001-05). A recent emphasis on sportsmanship has curbed the practice of upstaging opposing fans. However that hasn't diminished the mystique of Tabor Gym, still a difficult place to play in.

Teams are only allowed so many games in a season, and thus so many home games. Scheduling Rock Falls in out-of-conference games is tough to do, but the yearly Rock Falls Shootout gives teams an opportunity to compete in a tight environment.

The Shootout is over 10 years old, and brings in teams from all over northern Illinois. The furthest attractions range from Pleasant Plains, St. Joseph-Ogden and Milwaukee South Division. Teams such as Rock Island, Minooka and Hinsdale South have moved from large venues to the tight quarters of Tabor.

It's best game was a few years back, when Erie defeated West Carroll 80-78 in double overtime. It's best year was during the Mike Winters era when several Division-I recruits played: including East Aurora's Ryan Boatwright, DeKalb's Jordan Threloff, Rock Island's Chasson Randle, Sterling's Joseph Bertrand, and several others.

I was told that there is still an opening for a team to come and play next year. I'd love to see a junior-laden team (of this year) such as Hinckley-Big Rock, Kaneland or even Winnebago come over.

Speaking of Winnebago, the Rockets travel up there on Tuesday for the rekindling of what I call the "Cyberseries". Both teams had epic supersectional games that sparked a rivalry between the two. The two teams haven't played since 2006.

When Winnebago comes down to Rock Falls on Jan. 27, Tabor Gymnasium should be buzzing like never before.

I hope.

Job Update & Finances

2012-01-07T02:16:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.70.10
Current Song - Deacon Blues (Steely Dan)

Because of the intense work with the website, I've been having less time to spend on trying to find a job.

Next week brings another busy workload as far as the website is concerned. I've got games at Stark County and Moline next week, with Tuesday up in the air between two locations. A feature and a couple of columns are also on the docket. Hopefully I can squeeze in some time next week to tend to more personal things - I am having this Saturday (Jan. 14) off of everything, and I'm back at it on Monday (Jan. 16) at Hononegah's MLK Tournament.

At this present time, I have some of it to kill. I'm waiting on a story to come in, and after I post it I'm headed to bed. Gotta be at the RF Shootout at 9:30 a.m. and staying 12 hours.

Right now, I have one app on file and that is at the RF Pizza Hut as a delivery driver. Casey's in Sterling is also looking for one, and I think I can ask for a relief clerking position on top of that. Other than these two, there is still not much available to me.

I want to take a day (Saturday perhaps) and round up all of the phone numbers I have called in the past 2 months and ask again. There had to have been over 150. My phone will probbaly be fried when its all said and done. But I can at least get back on my feet and start tackling these applications once more. I recieved a little bit of assistance, as one of my writers has told me he'll look out for any gas station openings near DeKalb (where he lives). After four days of driving to Plano and back, anywhere seems like a short drive.

As for what finances I currently have, there's not much left in the tank from Christmas. My gasoline expenses are covered.

I got screwed out of a buyer for my Yamaha keyboard recently, and I'm back to selling it once again. Aside that - and a 5X Kyle Busch Shell polo shirt - I don't know if there's anything left in my bedroom that is sellable. The baseball cards can't sell on its own, and packaging them into a bundle is too cumbersome to sell.

I just need time.

When You Get Punched, Smash The Heck Away

2012-01-05T20:51:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.50.10
Current Song - Power Rangers Theme

No joke on the song.

The only way anyone will pry NISB from me or from existance, is if they do it from my cold dead hands.

You can put me in a corner. You can fire away. But I will keep clawing back. I will not lose. You can not beat me.

"Talk, Cody, Talk!!" - The '12 N.Y.R.

2012-01-01T10:00:00.000-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

I'm trying to use the experience with the prettiest girl in the world (mentioned in last entry) to help me connect with girls - something that has been a major problem in my life for quite some time.

Which leads to New Year's Resolutions!

-----------

The biggest NYR of all in the past has been my weight. So, alright, I found another positive in that I was able to actually DROP weight for the first time ever. I'm still nowhere near what I should be. I've found out that setting a particular finish-line for a weight-loss goal only makes things harder.

Lately I let the course of the day work its wonder and that's how some of the weight came off. But with the post-Christmas stress in covering ten games in five days it's starting to come back a little bit. But after today the website-related travel, going to Plano and back four days out of five, is done with. No more late nights and long drives in that regard. Now it's back to business, and I believe I'll do well in this regard. So weight isn't a NYR this year.

An improvment in my social life will be this year's NYR.

I do a lot of my talking on my Blog. That is because if I actually said every word I typed, word-for-word, I would get tongue-tied. Then when I do talk, I have noticed myself stuttering and stammering, and repeating myself as if I'm rewinding the conversation.

I have almost 200 audio clips of interviews I have conducted for stories on the website. I'm going to erase them all soon to clear up space, and I think I'll take note of the times I flubbed sentences, stuttered, stammered, and drew blanks.

Since most of my foreign interaction happens to come in the form of the postgame interview, I will work on fixing up my interview sessions. That includes introducing myself in full (no "I'm Cody from the Website" like I did earlier this week), and listening and trying to engage in some sort of small talk - as opposed to just being there for the purpose of getting story quotes.

What hurt me most in this regard was not covering enough games over the course of the school year. The more times I cover games, the more interactive I think I can be, and all for the same topic of things - sports.

Only then can one thing lead to another.

Since I plan on covering a few more things than usual (due to being out of work), I'll see how this goes and take baby steps toward progression.

There can't be a threshold to attain for such a resolution such as this. I guess by December 31, 2012 (That's December 31, NOT December 21) I'll look back on the year and see how far I have come in my social life.

Good Riddance to 2011 (for me at least)

2012-01-01T01:01:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2102.10.10
Current Song - Subdivisions (Rush)

Last year at this time, I was enjoying a walk through downtown Chicago and wanted to celebrate in the streets to ring in 2011. I happened to be hungry in the last half-hour of 2010 and had dinner at a restaurant on Wacker Drive. It was a more closed setting, with fewer people so I had a little better time in regards to having fun with people I didn't even know.

I christened my new year with a tinking of my glass of Pepsi with someone's bottle of Miller Lite.

This year, I'm sitting in front of the computer on my desk trying to get caught up on stories from Plano's Christmas tournament.

I christened my new year with a swig of a half-empty plastic bottle of Pepsi and gently hammering it down on my desk.

Buh-Bye, 2011!

Now let me continue limping into 2012.

I don't think I have ever had a year with more negative memories than postive ones. If you're a follower of this Blog (and with what has happened this year, who else is following this anymore?) you can read all about it in the Blog Archive to your right.

For now, I'd like to simply sum up what 2011 has been like - one last time thinking deep into these memories before simply moving on to an EVEN BETTER 2012.

1. Loss of Job - It's been four months, and I still haven't quite gotten over losing my job at the Shell station due to an alcohol sale violation. It was the second sting I had been in this year, as I had failed a cigarette one in February. Of course, this comes after a 2010 that I was named Employee of the Year for.

I still can't explain why one thing led to another, if that even happened. Shell had been the best job I had (even over SVN) and was the longest-tenured job that I had. Then to see it all come to and end ... it's like a chip leader in poker suddenly having an early exit after a few hands.

I can't change what happened. But there are a couple of parts of me that changed as a result of what happened.

First and foremost, my income fell. Going through the past four months without making money, and doing what I do with the website, is an experience I never want to have again. However, I realize that people go through this often. But at the same time, however, I still want to say that I don't ever want to go through this again. Right now I am scrablming to get finances in order.

Secondly and just as importantly, my morale fell. Because I was no longer behind the Shell station counter, I didn't get to interact with the usual customers that I had. My small talk, something very important to me as I'm not that sociable, was improving because I had been doing this for three years. Without the job, I kind of fell back into silent mode.

Lastly, my confidence fell. Because I had this sting violation, it will be front-and-center in my work history. In the past couple of months, I had applied for jobs at gas stations, and I'm very sure I was passed over again, and again and again because of these sting violations. Because I sensed this was happening, I didn't feel like sending out more applications and resumes as December dragged on.

Oh, there's more to this burden of a 2011. And right now there are a couple of immediate priorities I have to take care of before getting back in the job-hunt mode.

2. Losses of Hubba, Roger and Carol - Three of the children of my great-grandpa Holloway all passed away in the same year. The emotional toll is undescribable, and I can't even describe it.

Because I haven't gone out much outside of my work with high school sports, college classes, and my job and all, I rarely ever got to see Hubba, Roger and Carol. Sometimes I wish I did more often, and it's too late. These losses, in a way, helped reinforce my focus on my family.

But after going through all of that, I at least know where they are at. And they are not suffering anymore.

3. Another Loss - As I mentioned, regular customers at Shell were important to me. One elderly couple, Bill and Dorothy Schrader, were always there each night I worked. They played the lottery every night, with a small stack of Pick 3 tickets and scratch-off tickets. Dorothy had been in decline as the year went on due to Alzheimer's Disease, and had to be put in a nursing home. She passed away in July.

Because she was there every day, I had to see the decline first-hand. It wasn't a great experience.

4. Personal drama on the Message Board - This year was by far the worst year when it came to moderating the NISB Message Board. The attacks between posters was getting absolutely sick, and I had to do something about it. What I did was apparently over-the-top, and I not only lost the posters I was having problems with, but also some others that were on there simply for the wrong reasons.

To sum that up: In Winnebago in September, I was looked as a pretty good person. Now, I'm apparently the "Northern Illinois Sports Bitch."

5. A disasterous final weekend of Softball - With funds running low, I could only afford to cover the Class 3A/4A Softball Tournament by myself. We had three teams there: Marengo, LaSalle-Peru and Moline. Marengo and Moline won state titles. L-P took second. The exhaustion was dreadful, with back-to-back drives to and from Peoria mentally wrecking me.

6. A disasterous State Football Final weekend - We had four football teams in the State Finals in football this year, and since this happened after the Shell firing the funds were extremely low. Nothing done on time. Over-exhaustion. However, we did use a laptop for the first time, and that's the only think I can see an improvement on.

7. A disasterous Plano Christmas Classic - only in terms of NISB coverage. The tournament itself was wonderful. Bill and I worked out a plan to cover this year's tournament - the first with a record 24 teams - extensively. I made flyers and Bill wanted them out on the table "day one, hour one" at Plano. They were there, and they were still there after Belvidere won the tournament. Once again, nothing done on time and over-exhaustion. Both myself and Bill. Some coverage ideas never came to fruition.

The only thing that saved me was a Thursday detour to Prophetstown to cover the Hinckley-Big Rock and Prophetstown girls - 120 less miles to drive. Even that couldn't fully save me: I flubbed two interviews there, and for some reason I introduced myself as "I'm Cody, from the Website" to one of the girls.

8. The Week of Bad Driving - It all started the next couple of weeks after I was let go. Several missed calls. More importantly was a spin-around while driving in Normal during the State Volleyball finals. Then a week later, I was caught speeding in front of White Pines Park. I went back to Oregon to pay the fine, and then on my way back I almost rear-ended someone in front of Lowell Park in Dixon.

I had to park somewhere and try to get a hold of myself. The following week on my way down to Champaign for football, it felt like a longer drive because I was going slower than I was last year.

9. Realizing who my friends really are - As time simply goes on, there are more and more acquaintences from school days that fall out of touch. They either are too busy, or are simply tired of you. Somehow, I felt that the latter was happening to me. An example of this is simply looking at my friends' Facebook walls and comments, and then looking at mine. So, in trying to get my social life back in order, I prioritized my life a little better. More on this later.

10. The drama with brothers - When your brothers are noticing that you're in decline, and all they do is pester you about it, that's a problem. Somehow I don't get messages across to them as well as I should; and when I do, they think I'm the stupid one. A year of that hasn't reached the apex of revenge, but I was able to cool it with some thinking of my own.

11. An overall December collapse - In addition to the trouble at Plano, I saw all of my problems come to a head after overhearing a discussion amongst family members. What I took out of it was this: I'm slow, lazy, forgettable, and too in-tuned to the website that I run.

All told, January 1 should be the start of a brand new positive feeling. As for last year, I could not think of a single positive feeling other than improved traffic on the website. If there was, it has been overshadowed by the disasters of the year.

But - the more I think of it, there were two things that did stand out in 2011.

1. A few negative things came together, and I rolled that up into something positive. This was the Christmas present project I made for my brothers.

I started work on it a few months ago by tracking down the short family tree. The bulk of it was finding all of the cousins. I never fully completed it, but packaged what I had into five copies of what's called "The Six Degrees of the Cutter Crew." I have a feeling that the brothers really liked it, and mom and dad, grandpa, grandpa, and anyone else I shared this with really thought good things of this idea of mine.

For me personally, it opened up a few links with people I was related to.

2. This is going to sound very strange, but the only other thing I can think of as a postive in 2011 was that I saw someone who I think is the prettiest girl in the world.

Did I get to talk with her? Yes, and that went off without a hitch. Haven't talked with her since, however, and that was a couple of months ago. But it wasn't anything outside of the whole point why I wanted to talk with her in the first place.

How did this actually help me? It wasn't hard to tell who I had crushes on when I was in school. But this girl, was simply better than anyone I had fallen in love with in the past. This includes you-know-who, you-know-who and you-know-who. Therefore my drive was a little pumped up. I figured if I had any sort of shot at winning her heart I had to change a few things around in my life.

Now of course, simply doing that for this one girl would be borderline insane. However, I'm trying to use this experience to help me connect with girls - something that has been a major problem in my life for quite some time.

It's Sad Anymore

2011-12-27T01:01:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.72.21
Current Song - Just The Two of Us (Bill Withers)

Apparently in this time of progression in one's life, I am in decline for some reason.

Apparently I'm not on top of things. Apparently my three little brothers have all passed me over and have discarded me as nothing but unsalvagable trash. What did I do to deserve that? Is it because I try to be true to my oldest-brotherly obligation to give them the world? I try to do things to help establish themselves as prepared individuals for the real world, and apparently that is a stupid mistake. Apparently I've taught them so much that they are unhappy with how I go about my own business.

I mean, try to establish a relationship with a girl. I'll try to go the extra mile for my brothers in this case, because I know it is too late for me. It was too late for me a long time ago.

If you were at it on your own, what would you do? Don't rely on me to spoonfeed you whenever I am present. Bad decision.

Now they've surpassed me in more terms than imaginable, and I'm paying for it. They're smarter than me, and how did that happen????

I think I know why. What did they have that I didn't? Yes, some sort of social life.

I've told this story countless times, but in a nutshell it was difficult for me to make friends. I made a few, but I just never seemed to keep up my end of the rope. There were things that I wanted to do, and morals that I stuck to, and things kind of drifted apart.

One worshipped things I didn't like, and another passed around a joint. My morals come first. In fact, there is this real cute girl I like somewhere in northern Illinois, but I will stick with my morals and say that I am too old for her and this is not right. I want do do the right thing, but sometimes that leads into a deeper downward spiral. Thank the Lord that I don't drink, smoke or snort. Any dismissal of what morals that had been mentioned will lead to a bad reputation, and I don't want that.

Up until my freshman year, I had "best friends." Then one thing led to another and it was me that did the pulling away from them. They made some choices that I didn't agree with, and I simply walked away. I wanted to look for more lifelines, and I event went backward for a while (to Rock Falls). Nothing truly materialized.

Now I am sitting on a chair in front of a computer for most of the day. And when I'm not doing that, I'm covering a sports event or sleeping.

High school sports is really the only thing that is keeping my mouth moving, and I've made friends through that circle. But when I'm covering games, often times I don't know anyone else at the particular game. I have had people tell me that I should do more Sterling and/or Rock Falls games, and that way I would be around people that I know, but there is this thing called journalistic neutrality that beckons me away from that.

Lately I have tried to establish friendships with coaches and athletes during games I cover. The key word is "try." Obviously they have lives of their own, and I don't see them hardly any more after the postgame interview.

***
So getting back to the current day, I think my lack of social life has made me extremely so in so many regards. There is a bag of chips that is sitting on top of my computer printer, and I don't know when I'll ... okay, I just put them back downstairs.

It's things like that which are mentally pummeling me at this time. I apparently forget to do a lot of things, and get ticked off when I'm told to do something - but that is because my train of thought has just been interrupted. I'm likely formulating a story and then I'm told to pick up Dan at the school; my train of thought has just been interrupted.

Things like this are drawing the ire of my own parents. Now their patience has worn thin. If I don't do something about it, things are going to get worse. But how do I start? Where do I start? What's it going to take to contribute my fair share in this house that me, my parents and Danny all live in. The sacrifices just seem like too much.

My parents are worn out themselves, and here I am struggling to get my mind in order.

I think back to how Mike, Chris and Dan are all as good as they are. What's the X-factor in all of this? An enjoyable, worry-free life with a strong support group. I have none of that.

It's going to be a long, tough road.

These are the things that make me cry.

A Christmas Present Well Worth Creating and Sharing

2011-12-25T00:38:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.52.21

Northern Illinois looks to have a green Christmas this year with no snow on the ground.

But that's quite alright.

Whatever we are celebrating at this moment – be it Christmas, Hannukah or Kwanzaa – paints us a picture filled with snow and songs. But don't need snow in order to get into the Holiday spirit. Typically today is spent around lots of family. For some families, it's the only other time outside of maybe Thanksgiving that a bunch of family members will gather around.

When you see your family today, think about how you are made up as a person. Very likely, it is because of those family members that are a generation or more older.

“You are who you are because of the people around you” is a philosophy that I often use to trace backward the traits that define ourselves. The people around you, if you are planning or attending a gathering today, is most likely family.

Family is an important aspect in the life of yours truly. Perhaps it's because so much of it is close around.

Nearly everyone on both my mother's side and father's side of my family reside somewhere within northern Illinois. Sure, there are a few people that have went far, far away, but most have remained not too far away from where I live and thus are more available during great times of need.

2011 had its fair share of sorrow when it came to my extended family. My great uncles Roger and Elmer, brothers, lost battles with cancer within eight months of each other. My great aunt Carol, the pair's sister, saw Alzheimer's get the best of her on the day we laid Roger to rest. Three siblings that were no longer a part of us on this Earth in eight months is more than enough to bear. Cancer also claimed the life of my great-granduncle Everett this year. So I've been at more than enough funerals this year.

Perhaps the saddest thing about funerals is that it is one of the rare times that the extended family all flocks together for something. Because me and my brothers are so young – I'm 25 years old and the oldest of four brothers – we don't recall some people that come up for the deaded occasion, even though we know they are related to us.

I had some personal losses as well outside my family, and after a few things came together I set out on a project to work on. I wanted to get this done by Christmas.

What I've been working on over the past four months, when I'm not doing anything high school sports-related, is a family record that details all of our relatives – direct relatives, aunts, uncles and cousins – and tells how they are related to us. (By “us” and “we” I refer to the four Cutter Boys: myself, Michael, Christopher and Daniel). I gave them copies of the book for Christmas presents.

“The Six Degrees of the Cutter Crew” lists every possible relative that we have from four generations above us, and then descending back down across many different paths that detail the families of our aunts and uncles, great aunts and great uncles, and great-grandaunts and great-granduncles. In essence, we each have eight sets of great-great-grandparents, and the book tracks down every every descendant of each of the eight sets.

The book details exactly how we are linked with certain cousins of ours. For me and my brothers, it also tells us how many more cousins we have in addition to what we already know.

Are you related to me? If you live in northern Illinois and your last name is either Cutter, Reeser, Holder, Metzler, Holloway, Tighe, Roselieb or Hanell, chances are there is some sort of easy-to-explain relation between us. Then there are many other names that would take up most of this piece and make it cumbersome.

In my work with area high school sports, I was able to trace what schools have educated my ancestors and cousins. I was also able to figure out which of my ancestors, and their descendants, have served the United States in our past wars.

One relative that comes to mind is my great-granduncle Homer Roselieb. Homer was the second-oldest of 13 Roselieb children born between 1898 and 1918 in the Erie-Prophetstown area, and was the first of four siblings to serve. Homer was in the Army during the first World War as a young man, but died during the Influenza outbreak.

Because Homer died a young man without any children, there was little to tell of him as his brothers and sisters lived out their years. All of the 13 Roselieb children have since passed, leaving no one left with any direct link to him. In addition, Homer is buried at a cemetary in Erie while his brothers and sisters are all buried at a cemetary near Spring Hill, just south of Erie.

The purpose behind this book is to ensure that such relatives like Homer Roselieb, a very young man who served his country, are not forgotten as the four Cutter Boys grow older.

Another relative, my half-great uncle Jarrod Roselieb, served during the Vietnam War and received a Purple Heart after his plane was shot down. None of my brothers knew that, or even know who Jarrod was, until they read the book.

Within the brotherly quartet, we take for granted our familiarity with our aunts, uncles and first cousins. Researching involved asking my oldest relatives what they know of their aunts, uncles, great aunts and great uncles, and first cousins. I could recall such relatives in a heartbeat, but it was a little difficult for the older folks to recall theirs. That's because there was no concrete record of such. Now, within the Cutter Crew, there is a solid object that can be preserved and passed on to future generations.

As we grow older, generations before us will eventually pass on. I have only remembered one great-great-grandparent, and that was who we called “Granny Perry.” All of my great-grandparents have passed away, the last coming in 2009. Only one direct relative from three generations ahead of me is still living, and that is my great-granduncle Sam. Another great-granduncle of mine, George, has passed but his wife, Geraldine, is still living.

It so happens that the age gap between me and my youngest brother, Daniel, is great enough that he cannot recall as many older relatives as I can. As we were gathering in our living room during this green Christmas, I took more time to show Danny around the book because he recalls so little.

The present was well worth the drives to Rochelle for information on the Holloways and Rockford for information on the Tighes.

Snow may not be on the ground to make it feel like Christmas, but the Christmas feeling in terms of family was certainly there.

Life as NISB Publisher, With a 64 oz. Mega Chill

2011-12-20T04:43:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.02.21
Current Song - Just The Two of Us (Bill Withers)

Every night is becoming a long one.

It's 4:45 a.m. as I type this line in my Blog.

Recently, I made a decision to increase my work load as far as Northern Illinois Sports Beat is concerned. I'm not employed right now, and when there's no high school sports stuff going on, I tend to get bored. With the personal funds fizzling and no money for gas in my car, I'm literally rotting at home. So I decided to do something about this emptiness, and that was to simply write more stories.

It all started last week, when trying to figure out an assignment scenario with Bill. Somehow we wound up talking about the possibility of getting something on the website every day. Now we came to this conclusion, I'm not certain. Would it happen together? Not likely. But on my own?

I go to my thinktank every time such a situation occurs. This thinktank is my car, and I travel around my "NISB kingdom" to try to generate a thought. Knowing this would require some thought, I stopped at the Super Pantry in Dixon and picked up a 64-ounce Mega Chill cupfull of Dr. Pepper to keep me awake and stimulated. I literally know all of the backroads of northern Illinois, and I wound up driving somewhere near Serena on a backroad (ironically, not too far from where Bill lives) before I turned off onto a gravel road all of a sudden.

This was at 1:30 in the morning. I stopped along the road and shut my car off. Nothing but pitch black, the moon, a large cloud, and some raindrops here and there. It was at that time when I thought about a couple of features that I once did for the website: Athlete Q&A and Team Spotlight.

I had always thought about bringing them back, but I haven't written any of them in almost five years. But if this was going to fill up content, then so be it. Somewhere in my files, I thought I had a list of specific TS and QA questions but wanted to draft up another just in case I didn't find it. Then of course, with the commitment to more writing I had to think about how to rearrange other things in my life to accomodate this.

Ever wonder why such a setting allows me to think better? It's dark, so there is not much for my eyes - and thus my brain - to comprehend. And since I'm at an unfamiliar place, there is not any memory recall of where I'm at or where I had been at one time. It feels like I'm disappearing into thin air. At home I see the same things every day. So that explains it. Call it Aspergian.

When I got back home I plopped my IHSA calendar on my desk and looked up a bunch of high school sports schedules. One day at a time I started to fill in assignments to do up until Jan. 10. A mix of game stories, columns, as well as the Team Spotlight and Athlete Q&A.

Then I drafted up the questions to ask on a piece of paper to carry around to the games I am going to cover. Every night I'm tweaking the piece of paper and it is a mess at the moment.

Friday is the big day: game article on the Forreston Boys Basketball Holiday Tournament championship game, a Q&A on a player from Rockford Christian Life, and the Team Spotlight on either Aquin or Byron. Since Forreston and RCL were playing in a fifth-place game, the Q&A came first. It was kind of a different scenario than in sessions past, as the kid lost his game. Only after doing the interview did I realize that my questions were flat and corny. But the session was done, and I planned it for a Wednesday release. Then came the 2-in-1 sessions with the Byron people. My TS questions were okay, but thought I could do better. But still, the session was done and I planned it for a Monday release.

Since the Forreston Tournament article was a 1 3/4 gamer, I figured it would take me a while to write it. Sure did, and I only had four hours of sleep before needing to wake up and make the drive to St. Bede for the Lady Bruins' game against unbeaten Annawan. The plan was to do a gamer and a TS on the winner. I didn't have time to change my TS question sheet, but figured the second time around would bring better results. Kind of. Got home, and another gamer written.

Then the next day I pieced together the Byron Boys Basketball Team Spotlight. I hadn't written one in five years. When I got done with it, I said to myself, 'Damn this is long.' The next night with Annawan's wasn't much of an improvement - four typed pages.

Before writing the Annawan piece, I went to the gas station to refill my 64-ounce cup. Only $0.84. I planned for a busy night tonight, writing both the Annawan TS and the Athlete Q&A.

And this is just the overnight session. During the afternoon and evening, it's likely that I get a phone call from one of my writers. This time I was going back and forth between Bill and Brian over a game at Hinckley-Big Rock. Then sometimes pressure will mount and I'll just say to myself 'forget it, I'll cover it.' That's been resolved.

After writing the TS and Q&A, more thoughts occured to me. Great, more things to think about late at night after getting done laying out the website.

I just did a Team Spotlight on Annawan Girls Basketball. Then I get to thinking someone is going to ask me when I'm going to write one on the Aquin girls, or the Hinckley girls, or the Marquette girls, or the Newark girls, or the Sterling girls. Or the Moline swimming team. Then how many athletes are going to call me and say that they too want a Q&A?

Luckilly, my Mega Chill is only 3/4 empty. But there's no gas in the car.

I'm not covering anything today (Tuesday) and already have the Q&A written, so the time spent with the website tools will be minimal until Wednesday night: posting the H-BR/Marquette gamer, and covering a wrestling meet at Sterling.

Why can't I just disappear into thin air right now?

So if you are out driving in the middle of nowhere at 1:30 in the morning and see a green car parked along the side of the road ...

No, you idiot! I'm brainstorming under absolute silence!

Either way, please do not disturb :)

Promises, Promises

2011-12-15T05:34:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.51.21
Current Song - Promises, Promises (Naked Eyes)

To the fans and followers of Northern Illinois Sports Beat.

I'm sorry.

I'm extremely sorry.

We were hoping for no special delays in things.

That was my goal, something NISB has never done.

I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this.

You will never see any high school sports journalist in the country work as hard as I will work the rest of the high school sports season.

You will never see someone push this website as hard as I will push it the rest of the season.

You will never see a sportswriting team work harder than we will the rest of the high school sports season.

God bless.

Dates of the Blind Kind

2011-12-09T00:43:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

The last blog entry made me think of a struggle I've had since I first laid eyes on this girl in preschool. That was 20 years ago and nothing has worked on other girls since.

I mentioned a little about how temporary work is like going on a blind date.

Knowing me, if someone set me up on a blind date it would be with the worst girl in the school. It's a dead-end street: either you become humilated because of who your date is, or you become looked at as horrible because you made someone sad. The chances of me - someone who has never had a girlfriend - having a good blind date is one in a million. A bad blind date? one in one.

Ladies and gentlemen, the above paragraph is why I bitch a lot. And probably why no one has dared to set me up on a blind date. I don't even have mistakes to learn from yet.

They say I don't even try. That's probably I'm not at the "trying stage" yet, in fact I'm probably at some negative step, step no. -13 or something. Fix this, fix that, fix this, and tweak that and maybe - just maybe - I'll have a long shot.

Then I know now that it's all a matter of "you don't have confidence in yourself." Truthfully I don't see it, and to do at it blindfolded would lead to worse effects. Other than taking my body to American Restoration (the TV show), how do I renovate myself?

But wait, doesn't renovating myself lead to me not "being myself."

Well, crud. Back to square -13.

One college day I was bored and decided to take the eHarmony test simply to pass time. There were 258 questions, encompassing 29 dimensions of compatibility, and I must have failed somehow. 258 questions is probably the amount of questions I have to ask myself about a girl in order for her to become compatible to me.

I've tried trimming down the number of questions to ask myself. But still I can see small details that raise a red flag telling me that this is not going to work out between us. I'm too finite, and I don't know how to stop myself.

Just came to a realization - I'm too finite. That's why I can't succeed.

I think the way to cure this in regards to my struggle with girls is going through the relationship motions. From there, I can ask myself whether or not I can truly deal with such issues. When an issue arises, to stop and think about how to correct the issue and make it positive - in other words, what can I do to make it better?

If I am to improve on getting rid of my finite details, I need to have a girl above my expectation level - and at the same time be someone who is barely above, at, or barely below her expectation level. The most perfect scenario would be to pair myself with someone who looks at me as far below her expectation level, and thus be able to learn more ways to correct things. But that's just not going to happen.

It's going to take some tries in order to become perfect in this situation. I think most of my friends my age have gone through five girls already. With my special-case scenario, it'll probably take 10.

Tonight I learned that there is indeed a tomorrow.

Now it's just a matter of breaking the ice.

Any input is welcome.

Job Update 12/9

2011-12-08T23:25:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.80.21
Current Song - Keep Feeling Fascination (Human League)

I'm waiting for an offer to come forward from a gas station about an hour and a half away from home. It's the line of work I'm used to.

I had a couple of stops there in the past week, and it's a good $15 in gas per day. Figuring it's about a seven-hour work day, at $8.50/hr, total pay without taxes taken out would be $59.50/day. Take that figure multiplied by .80 for about $47.60. Then take that new figure and subtract $15 to make for $32.60/day.

Still, $32.60/day is better than $0.00 I'm making currently.

Christmas is 17 days away, and it's extremely sad to me that I'm looking at the day as a stimulus rather than the Christmas spirit. A gift card for fuel (note that the term "gas card" isn't correct because they can be used for other store things) would help me get around to at least a week's worth of games in the coverage area.

Another week and a half until I have bills to pay. I know I can get through that, but if no job comes up after that then I'm really screwed. That doesn't mean that I'll close NISB; I have plenty of plans for that if the "Day of Zero" comes.

At this point I'm getting a little worried. I have six more reasonable chances left before looking at breaking my back every day. Then again, I'm worried because I bring so little to the general table of things.

***

This is like trying to hook up with a potential girlfriend. And those that know me over the years know that my luck in hooking up with girls is next to zilch.

Getting a job that I don't want to do is like going out with a girl that you don't want to go out with. You REALLY don't want to do this, and you feel that you won't make the place better with your presence.

Even worse is the blind date: temporary agencies saying that there is simply a "job opening" for a generic title. The who and what is unknown, and you only find it out when you get there.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out how to get this triangle-shaped thing into this circular hole.

Smoothing Things Out

2011-12-05T02:59:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.50.21
Current Song - One Headlight (The Wallflowers)

I went downstairs to get a sandwich and a pop before writing this blog entry. Just by walking on the floor I woke up the dog. Thus, I woke up my dad. When I can't even move around the house at night, that's a problem. At night I feel like I'm pinned to a particular spot in my house.

Then again, most people are pinned to a particular spot at night - their beds.

I've been reminded many times over the years that it's best for me to wake up in the morning and sleep at night. When I was working, I couldn't be up all day and then go to work because I was slack around 11 p.m. and not get stuff done. I changed my routine around to where I woke up an hour before going into work for the night. That worked out well and I got my stuff done, and then when I came home I was wanting something to do. That's how I got introduced to Antenna TV: Hitchcock at midnight, Burns and Allen at 1 a.m., Jack Benny at 2 a.m., then to ESPN for Sportscenter at 3 a.m. and going to bed after that.

Even for covering games a considerable distance from home; I'd get home at midnight and have a story to type. The line of work pretty much makes me stay awake at 1 a.m. Now with this going on at home, I really don't know what to do. It has been suggested to me that I stay in one location during the night, either upstairs in bed, upstairs on the computer, or downstairs on the couch. Not going back and forth. Pretty much, getting my sandwich and pop at 11 p.m. and heading upstairs for the computer without having to go down at night.

Then if I get a job that makes me walk in the back door at 2:30 a.m., what's going to happen then? Do I sleep in the car and wake up at 7 a.m.? Roy's going to wake up no matter what, and when he wakes up he think's it's morning when it's really nighttime.

If only I could wake up as quick as Roy, and sleep as quick as my dad. BTW my dad works at the new wind farm near Paw Paw, which is a lot of work to do so he does get really tired when he comes home.

But other than getting to a regular sleep schedule, the reason why I wanted to write this post was to try to figure out how to get myself back into physical confidence. Since I literally cannot afford to eat out, this helps me from not eating things that are not good for me.

Now to find a way to move more. Today I went out grocery shopping for the home. Since I rarely do major grocery shopping, I'm one of those guys who you see at the market making an appearance in aisle 1, then 6, then 4, 5, 9, 7, 2, 1 again, 3, 5 again, etc. Most regular shoppers, since they've done it enough to know where everything is, will tailor the grocery lists up and down according to aisle. Mentally I can't do that. But physically, I don't mind doing that because I move around a lot. Plus, what always helps is parking at the far end of the parking lot.

As to outside of grocery shopping, going on a walk is going to be a little difficult for me because its is cold outside. But that's pretty much what I'll have to do in order to get myself going physically. Walking when its cold out is nothing new to me. Challand and SHS were a 3/4-mile walk from where I live, sometimes in the dead of winter with snow on the ground. There were times that I walked from my house to RFHS for basketball games, which is a four-mile round-trip. I wonder if the more I walk will help me, or will I bail out due to the weather?

It also used to be that when I went on drives to games, I would stop at the gas station and not just put gas in my car, but grab a bite to eat along the way. Can't do that anymore. Then with concession stand prices are what they are, I'd rather bring my own stuff in my bookbag.

I have also thought of incorporating walking exercises with the locations of where I cover games. Park elsewhere in town and walk to the school, and walk back when done. It's not like I'm on deadline or anything with the stuff I write. I have something in Sandwich and Rochelle this week, so I'll scope something out maybe.

Just anything to get myself back in good health. Who knows, maybe I'll be well enough to start, oh, running?

For confidence, I look no further than the previous post (see the post below):

In the Best Way I Can Describe It

2011-12-04T11:16:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.40.21
Current Song - Love Is Blue (Paul Mauriat)

I'm one of those guys who believes in love at subsequent sights. First sight just isn't right; once you get to know the girl then the feeling start to build.

I'll never forget laying my eyes on the most beautiful girl in the world. I don't know if there's any other girl I want to look for after this one. Everything about her struck me as beautiful. But there's more to just that. I actually got to talk with her, and I could feel the magnetic vibe - at least on my end - as our eyes crossed paths, more like a tunnel of emotion. I was in love, love with the most beautiful girl in the world.

Normally, talking to her would be difficult to do since it is very diffiult for me to get into discussion with anyone. Her? Somehow my conversation pieces went very smoothly - but about something else and not love. I almost always got a stutter when talking to ANYONE. Not her. I don't think it was me, but someone was helping me. I was trying to break away because we both had to go away at some point. But the lasting memory I will never forget. Certainly someone who looks so beautiful can act so beautiful. She had it all, and I wanted more.

I felt like I was in another world as we talked, all the weight - a lot of it for me - was lefted from the ground. Literally I felt like I was in heaven, and she was right there to guide me along the way. Her smile and the way she spoke to me made the feeling get deeper. Somehow I got teh impression that she enjoyed this conversation well, evident in how our eyes fixed on each other.

I know I'll see her again. When, I'll never know. But preferably the choice should not be my own, but rather by the powers to be. As for now there will be plenty of reminders all around me, reminding me of the most beautiful girl in the world. I yearn the paths to cross once more, and may one day let my true feelings known. Missing her will make me feel blue, and they say love is blue.

But blue is love. Love = blue - that color alone will remind me of the most beautiful girl in the world.

I love you.

A Word About This Blog, and Recent Posts

2011-11-30T21:06:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

It's been about an hour since I posted the recent Job Update. After looking at it once more, it seems like I am doing a lot of whining and complaining.

That made me look back at recent posts, and it's more of the same - whining and complaining. I live in a city where kids my age wanted to take the first train out of town after graduation because they were "sick of all the drama that goes on in this town." In other words, they were sick and tired of people like me talking about my problems and such.

I realize I have this problem of talking up way too much drama. But one day I don't want to be displaying drama as much as I have lately. If all goes well, I won't do this anymore.

Once all of the drama goes away, perhaps better things will come to my life. Like, I don't know, a girl? As mentioned in the last post I had a soft spot for a bunch of girls in my life, but working so much has caused that to fade away. Don't get me wrong, there are still those times when my heart spins and beats wildly, but after that nothing's there.

And it's not just a girl, but spending more time with the people I enjoy hanging out with and not have to worry about so much.

I hope that one day, soon, this will be a reality.

Job Update 11/30

2011-11-30T17:24:00.004-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.03.11
Current Song - Miami (Will Smith)

I decided rather than drive into Rockford, or the Quads or DeKalb, that if this recent round of gas stations does not work out, then I'll consider light factory work locally.

There are a few stations left on the "hoping" list that I have sent applications to. I'm hoping to get an answer by late next week or else I will move on. It won't be the first time I literally wrecked my body in order to sustain an income.

I once had a packing job for two months, and a factory job for three hours. The latter was at Dana, where hand skills were plenty and I had none.

After high school I needed money to help fund my college education and there were no newspaper openings available. I hated walking into temporary agencies because I felt like I was better than this kind of reputation. (I sure had an ego back then). Burton found me work at Crest Foods in Ashton.

The first days are literally orientation: food safety, OSHA, and a couple of other meetings. Then we went into the factory area, and I was placed on Line 2, which I think is one of the three fastest lines. When applying at Burton, I had to take a skill test with my hands. Apparently I didn't do so well, and they didn't put me in a packing position. Instead they looked at big, burly me and thought I was good enough to stack boxes onto pallets.

That first week was an uphill climb. The last day of training on that line involved packing six boxes of packaged something into a box - which meant boxes were flying off of the line. I was just too slow to keep up with it and the trainer did most of the work that day. But I was stuck to my own line, Line 25, which was upstairs in a seperate room.

I worked two months on Line 25. Once in a while I would fill in on Line 24. The particular line was a rice line, meaning there were 24 packages of rice in each box that I had to stack on pallets. There were certain ways these boxes had to be stacked, and certain ways boxes had to be wrapped. Since boxes were coming off of the line non-stop, and pallets could only be stacked so high, sometimes I was pushing pallets outside the room and seeing boxes fall off of the line because I was so slow.

Then the feet were killing me every day. They laid out this rubber "comfort" rug that had circular holes in them - hardly confortable. I didn't think the maximum Dr. Scholl's padding would do much help. Every night when I came home from work I had to lay down and rest. My back was sore from lifting. My feet were sore from standing on them for a long time. Eventually I had to ask for restroom breaks just to catch some sitting time.

I finally left when Sauk started its fall semester, because my classes were in the morning. But the toll this job took on me was what I called devestating. I'm very reluctant to do work and chores that involve bending my back. Instead of bending over, I have to balance my body on one foot and keep my back fixed on one position. Standing on my feet made me not want to walk around a lot (and by looking at me, you can figure out what THAT led to). Even when I worked at gas stations I couldn't stay on my feet for hours at a time. I needed to sit down and catch breaks. With every passing day the pain would lead to a more sedentary me, and making me worse physically. And even mentally because I wasn't able to move around as much as far as personal emotions go. I used to be energetic when it came to trying to find a girl of my dreams. It just seems anymore that this has been buried deep underneath other worries.

My biggest problem is that physically I don't know if I'll be able to stay on my feet for hours at a time doing repetivitve motions. I think the only way that can be fixed is if I am able to drop some weight - and that cannot be simply done overnight.

Right now I have to decide if my body will be able to do so much work in order to get so much money. I don't want to tear apart my body, but if this job economy stays this way I don't think I'll have a choice other than to ruin my body - both physically and mentally - in order to survive and make ends meet.

Job Update 11/28

2011-11-28T13:26:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.82.11
Current Song - Sweetheart (Franke and the Knockouts)

Serious blow to my morale today.

Since I left Shell, it seems like I've been having a bout with dementia. With each passing day and each passing rejection, this gets worse. Matters with NISB makes things a whole lot worse. Somehow the will to get out and do something just isn't there. It's like my world is simply falling apart - AND NO THIS ISN'T MEANT TO BE CREATIVE PROSE WRITING, IT'S THE DARN TRUTH!!!!

I'm beginning to find out that most of the places I'm applying for conflict with the very existance of Northern Illinois Sports Beat. It's either one or the other. Seems like an easy decision, right? My sportswriting career means more to me than anything else. If I destroy that, I will have nothing left - because outside of that I truly do have nothing else.

So, to the job update. More places were dropped from consideration because it seems like the usual scheme of things is starting on "nights and weekends." Nights and weekends literally destroys the website, and thus my goals and ambitions. There's got to be another way.

Hope for something that fits well is fading fast. But I'll continue the calls. Off to the next round.

Job Update 11/24

2011-11-24T08:02:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.42.11
Current Song - Ride Captain Ride (Blues Image)

Made some callbacks this morning, even though it was Thanksgiving morning. Normally managers are not in, but I decided to take my chances today.

No progress was made, but I eliminated two more candidates today because they had already hired: Ladd Casey's and Spring Valley Shell.

That leaves five Casey's stores, the Geneseo Beck's and two Family Video stores left to look at. I'm making the Casey's callbacks on Monday, with the other three being made on Friday morning. Clinton Kwik Star has yet to call me back after an inquiry.

I have one more gas station in mind, in Somonauk, that I'll look at on Monday. If that fails to pan out, I have two more favorable chances left, both pizza delivery.

NEXT STEPS:

1. Then it will be off to the next round of job applications: Kewanee, LaSalle-Peru, Cambridge, Utica, Sandwich, Somonauk, Plano, Genoa, and Hennipen.

2. DeKalb/Sycamore

3. Rockford

4. Quad Cities

5. Temp agency, breaking my back and destroying my mental capacity - I may not be the same person again after this.

There has been NOTHING in the local newspaper classified section other than jobs with prior experience necessary.

Job Update 11/22

2011-11-22T11:03:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.22.11
Current Song - Magnet and Steel (Walter Egan)

Three callbacks to places resulted in three different outcomes.

The first one, to the Savanna BP, can now be thrown out the window because they had hired someone during the time my application letter was being sorted in the US postal service.

The second one, to the Ashton Casey's, hadn't recieved it yet and told me they would probably recieve it by Wednesday. But the call was salvaged in a sense by letting them know that I mailed an application.

The final one, to the Thomson Casey's, so far nearly sunk the ship. They weren't hiring yet, but did get my mailed application. The comment of my hopes being diminished because I lived in Sterling really ticked me off - but I didn't show any anger at all. Then came question to me as whether or not Sterling was hiring. I said no (three weeks ago I called Sterling's Casey's with a no answer). In the end, though, the application is still out there in the waiting pile. It still made me want to inquire to Sterling's Casey's once more, though.

Given the mailing time of my most recent stack of application letters, I'll make my next call-around before Dakota Football kicks off @ State on Friday morning.

As mentioned yesterday, I made a callback to the Kwik Star in Clinton, and I'm waiting for a call back from them today - just as to the status of the job application.

Some people think getting a job is a right-there-right-then process, and you know of your chances once you hand over that application. That's not the case in this day of age. It takes a while, and I respect that. I learned from the Cash For Gold inquiry nearly a month ago that there are people out there more desperate than I am. I just don't want to be one of those people.

Job Update 11/21

2011-11-21T17:06:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.12.11
Current Song - Ride Like The Wind (Christopher Cross)

Monday is the first business day back, and I woke up a little too late to make morning status calls.

But I still tried to call a couple of places to see what the status of my applications were. The Clinton Kwik Star would let me know tomorrow. On a down note, Sterling's Dollar Tree had already hired its seasonal staff - therefore rejecting me.

Tuesday will be a very busy day. I'll go back to making status calls in the morning before making a drive up north for a little bit. Then at 4:00 I'll be covering the Dixon-Sterling girls bowling meet. It's been a long time since I covered bowling, but I feel I'm prepared for it.

Friends Keep You Afloat

2011-11-19T21:56:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.91.11
Current Song - One More Time (Daft Punk)

Right now I'm not doing so well, if you haven't figured that out already. I just mailed more applications tonight on my way back from the Boylan-Lake Zurich football game. Having to apply to such places like Kingston, Ladd and Geneseo are a big sign of things not going so well.

More often than not when I feel down like this, I tend to rant, complain, explode, and get very angry as I write these things on my Blog. Then posting things like that on Facebook's news feed and giving people the impression that I'm some sort of whinebag.

Maybe I am a whinebag when it comes to times like this. However, if I kept it all inside I would feel much worse than how I am now. So I sometimes feel the need to post angry diatribes on my blog and snippets of it on Facebook. At the same time, I have to remember that there are people I know that are faring much worse than I am at this time; it's mentally difficult to do that, but I want to try.

Right now is a perfect example; but I don't want to get angry right now.

If you are reading this, and accessed this from my Facebook wall, you are on my Facebook friends list for a reason - as a friend or a relative. See, I only have 175 Facebook friends. Most of my more active friends have over 500 Facebook friends. Now I know more than 1,000 people through many different sources. But only a select few (and those few who I've asked and they've ingored) get to be my Facebook friends.

Most of you I have known since school. I grew up with you. You know as much as I do that I wasn't much of a chatterbox growing up. I'm still not that way, although I have tried to break out of that shell on occasion. So we don't hang out that much, but I have looked to you as inspiration of some sort.

To be concise, I thank you, everyone, for all of the times we have shared over the years. Hopefully one day I'll be able to recover from this mess and once again find the passion to be a better person. I'm always looking for support, and when a similar time comes regarding you, I will try to do my best to return the favor.

Peace all!

Search Update 11/18/11

2011-11-18T14:49:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.81.11
Current Song - Sign Your Name (Terence Trent D'Arby)

During the last application go-around, I put in for all three Clinton Kwik Stars, Thomson Casey's, Savanna BP (the one attached to the McDonald's), Dollar Tree in Sterling for seasonal help, Jewel-Osco in Clinton, Target in Clinton, and the Family Video stores in Byron and Princeton.

So far I have only heard back from the Target store in Clinton - no luck there.

So I had to go to the next round of searching. This search pretty much extends to 80% of the NISB coverage area.

During this search I found 6 Casey's stores, two more gas stations and a grocery store.

The Casey's stores are in Amboy, Ashton, Oregon (for assistant manager), Ladd, Kingston and Dakota. The two other gas stations are the Shell (not a Johnson station) in Spring Valley, and a third-shift position at the Beck's 66 in the south side of Geneseo. The grocery store opening is the Sullivan's in Lena, which is a nights/weekends thing.

I will be busy tomorrow with sports stuff, but will begin the arthritis moment on Sunday after lunch with a friend.

If this round (and the prior round) of applications doesn't work, I will try the following areas: Kewanee, LaSalle-Peru, Cambridge, Utica, Sandwich, Somonauk, Plano, Genoa, and Hennipen. (So I have tried everywhere in between these places). The round after that will be DeKalb/Sycamore, and after that will be the QCA and lastly Rockford area. I may also inquire as to Dubuque or Aurora, but after that my well-being may just be in jeopardy.

I've driven to Ashton daily before for a job at Crest Foods, and Amboy is a closer drive.

But the beat goes on, and so does the beating ...

The Battle Continues ...

2011-11-14T21:12:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

Since the local and favorable options have been exhausted, I decided to start on the extended search for the job. I spent most of the morning in Clinton, IA job hunting. It is the closest town of over 25,000 people from Sterling/RF.

For those not familar with Clinton, it is divided into four districts pretty much: Lyons, Downtown, Lincolnway and Mill Creek. I am familar with Lyons and Lincolnway, but not so much Downtown and Mill Creek. So I drove around trying to find places.

My strategy (to ease on stop-and-go car starting) was to go to the Shell station, buy something to eat, sit at the table and dig through the phone book. Then I did some calling to about 25 different places. Needing some breathing room, I went and sat on a bench near the Candlelight Inn and did my calling.

My Clinton leads are as follows: the BP near the 136 Bridge (by next month), Jewel-Osco (cashier), Target (all), Kwik Shop on Bluff (cashier), and Sears (holiday).

The Kwik Shop is obviously the best lead of them all, since it is gas station work and that's what I have been doing for the past five years. Jewel-Osco's cashier spot is sort of similar to the position I tried to apply for at Sterling Kroger, except it is not overnight. Target seems to the the third-best lead, followed by BP and Sears.

After funneling all of that into a plan, I went back to my car and was about to drive home. However, I thought better and went back and thought of places in similar radiuses: Savanna, Fulton, Lanark, Mt. Carroll, Oregon, Byron, Freeport, Rochelle, Mendota and Princeton. Since I was trying to jot down places by simply memory, the list isn't complete. Once you've driven in these towns a lot, you start to know what's where.

Out of those came fewer leads: the Family Video in Byron, the Family Video in Princeton, part-time nights and weekends at the Savanna BP (attached to the McDonalds), and a soon-to-be-created overnight shift at the Thomson Casey's. Sullivan's in Princeton was looking for a deli person, but seriously I'm not the food-handling type of person.

I got home and was alerted that Dixon Furnitire Store would also be a good place to look into. That'll be my first call tomorrow.

I have also kept as a possibility pizza delivery jobs at Sterling Domino's and Morrison Casey's. But that may be too exhausting on the car and too risky considering what else I do (the website). I also recalled that both Family Dollar and Radio Shack in Sterling were both looking for seasonal help.

On Saturday I plan on covering the Boylan-Lake Zurich football game in Rockford. Along the way I'll be driving by Oregon and Byron, so I'll see what else is there that I missed. Worst case scenario is having to drive into Rockford, the Quads, Kewanee or L-P for jobs. But that is a future step in case nothing comes through.

I'm scarred, I'm bleeding, but I'm still fighting.

Still Battling

2011-11-14T06:25:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.41.11
Current Song - Holding Back The Years (Simply Red)

The battle to keep afloat is still continuing on.

I've had a few shots of stimuli lately in the form of donations and light work. The job search around a 30-mile radius seems to be deadening. Plus, there's little hope for the places that I have already applied to.

I'll now take my job search a little farther. After finishing some yard work today, I'll spend some time in Clinton to see what is there. If there's nothing, I will be extending my search to Savanna, Freeport, Rochelle, Oregon, Mendota, Princeton and maybe Geneseo. The daily commutes are a beast, but I did it once before.

Here's a theory as to why this is going oh so bad right now: As I'm being passed for these jobs, those that are getting them are those who are in worse financial shape than I am in. So what that means is that I would cycle down to the bottom of the barrel, only finding myself in a very uncomfortable position.

On top of that, I'm getting the feeling that sportswriters want to see my website die. If not that, then they probably want to see my career destroyed. They know what I'm capable of, and it can hurt. My warning to them: You will be getting a fight.

Entire Day of Covering Preps Becomes Learning Experience

2011-10-31T05:38:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.13.01
Current Song - My Sharona (The Knack)

I came into this past Saturday thinking I could cover three things. As the day drew closer, I didn't actually think this was possible. But I wanted to try to do it anyway.

The three events were: the Oregon XC Sectional, the Forreston Football game against Hales Fransicsan, and the Harlem Football game against Hononeagh.

I did research and alerted beforehand that I was going to cover the first two games. I didn't tell anyone about covering Harlem-Hononegah because I wasn't sure if I had enough energy to do so, and didn't want people to waste time. Thankfully the gate honored the pass on the fly.

If I wasn't covering anything, this would be a typical day in high school sports paradise. There is a pencil holder on my desk that reads "I want less WORK and more $$$ for not doing it." If money grew on trees and I could do what I want - this is what I would be doing.

I also came into Saturday wanting to tweak the way I cover things, as well as tweak the way I write. In this day of age in the journalism business, sticking to one tried and true format doesn't go far in the ever-changing scheme of things.

I challenged myself to write just 600 words on each game. This is a far cry from the typical 1,000+ I'm used to in website writing. I write long on the website in order to explain detail and how things led to another - in other words make the newspapers look like MASH unit doctors. (Okay, a more nicer term would be "supplementary coverage.")

Thousand-word stories have no place in newspapers. If I want to prepare for that next level, I need to shorten my stories and cram it all into fewer words. I try doing this all of the time, but I had something going for me that day: Because of a tech snafu with the website, I stayed up all night after covering Sterling soccer on Friday night. So I went into the triple-dip with no sleep. By the time I would be getting home from this, being so tired would literally force me to write just 600 words.

***

So here's an account of the Saturday triple-dip:

I was running a little late getting to Oregon for the Sectional Meet. I tried to catch some shut-eye around 8 a.m. and got about two minutes worth. Then that turned into a slow time in the shower and getting cleaned up. Knowing I was going to stumble, and possibly run off the road, I had three bucks on me to go to Aldi for a 12-park of pop. I got to Park West in Oregon late enough to where I parked in the school parking lot and ran the 1/4 mile to the finish line.

They say covering cross country is one of the easiest things to do. However, research and knowledge of the effects of running three miles will make for a good story (as opposed to fact-and-stat writing). There was a back-to-back series of XC meets at Erie and then Byron that helped me understand cross country a little better. When football is dominant and volleyball is also as dominant, sometimes cross country gets shuffled behind.

Charlie and Andy were also there covering the meet, and I stuck by them for most of the time. I also saw one of my Winnebago friends, Bruce, there as well. I got my pics in one spot, then video in another spot not too far away. See how easy it is? Right. After the meet, however, it took nearly two hours to finalize the results and print them off. Not good for someone like me who was up for now 24 straight hours. (Here's the NISB Article)

By the time I walked all the way back to my car, it was 1 p.m. with the football game at Forreston starting at 1:30. I'm already past my pre-game comfort zone as far as getting there early is concerned. I go the wrong way out of Oregon and after exiting Mt. Morris I Chuck Yeager'ed it to Route 72. The car topped at 93 MPH (one shy of the car's best of 94 on the Abe Lincoln Bridge in LaSalle).

Sure enough, I get to Forreston with 11 minutes on the pre-game clock. Andy had also made the drive (probably much safer than my drive). The morning was cold and I had my jacket on, but it got warm soon after and I was alright with my short-sleeved shirt. Forreston is a confusing place to cover a football game at sometimes, since the scoreboard is slow and I can't get an accurate reading on yardage lines. Other than that covering the game went off without a hitch.

Since this was a much-hyped game, I was asked beforehand to text updates to my friend Patrick in Chicago. I don't mind doing that, but sometimes it takes away from the job I'm trying to do. So along with Patrick, I added Edgy Tim, Bill and my friend Rick to the text update list. It's hard for me to do that with the buttons on my phone being so small, and my fingers too big. Just call me old-school in this regard, I would simply like to concentrate on covering my game and not worry about what's going on elsewhere. Maybe if I wasn't trying to snap a picture or take video I would have an easier time providing updates.

Forreston won a good game 31-28. (Here's the NISB Article)

One thing I learned from covering this game is to not use cheap pens to write things down on. My pen didn't run out, but was kind of a nuisance. The way I cover football games changed after the next game.

The break before the Harlem-Hononegah game was changed. I was supposed to meet Rick for a quick bite to eat before we went to the game, but he had other plans. So this gave me some time to drive to Harlem and walk around to keep myself awake. The weather got much colder as game time fell.

Cheap pens and fat notepads do not mix when it's bitter cold outside. My jaw was stammering and my knees were buckling as I roamed around the Hononegah sideline throughout the game. Not to mention, plenty of scoring and little defense. I tried to keep up with the game, and was able to get plays written down. However I was not able to mentally formulate a storyline inside my head - and thus called the game off. I figured that would be the case.

By the time I left Harlem, I had been awake for 31 straight hours. Then came the drive down home. You try driving down Route 2 in deer-infested late October, at night, after being up for 31 straight hours!

Of course I went to sleep right after I got home, but awoke enough to get the two articles written in timely fashion (to my standards). I didn't go as in-depth as I normally did, but at the same time didn't go below 600 words on each article.

***

What I learned from this Wild Ride:

1. The football notes formula I had been using for years turns obsolete when trying to meet a maximum-word limit. I have recently begun using a football stats worksheet to help in setting up box scores. If I just used that as my game notes, and writing a scoring summary (agate-style) on the back of the worksheet, it may clear my head a little easier and prevent arthritis. I will begin experimenting with this strategy on Friday night - where as of now I don't know.

2. Never write 1,000+ word soccer articles. Never.

3. Aren't individual sectional results available on the IHSA website? Even in this particular meet where almost all of NISB's small schools were in, going by that is data enough to supplement the margin notes and interviews during the race.

4. Set a "leave-the-house" deadline, even for the shortest of car rides. Oregon isn't much of a car ride for me, but you never know with traffic in Sterling and Dixon.

5. Don't buy a pork chop at Forreston. Worst ever.

6. Tell people that I see no sense of urgency in knowing what a quarterly score is during a football game - unless you are my boss. The less time I text updates, the more time I have to do stats at halftime. And for crying out loud, NEVER EVER call me during a game, especially if you know that I am covering a game!!!!

7. Protect the head, regardless of what it does to my hair. Hoods on top, stocking hat, whatever. This will take a long time for me to learn because I naturally just don't do it.

8. I can't do a triple-dip after staying up all night. Just can't. However, if this comes up another time I'll be sure to get plenty of sleep before. I've covered multiple basketball games at tournaments, but this is a completely different situation.

Hopefully lessons are learned, and the opportunity comes up again. Next week is Volleyball State Tournament time, which should be another absolute meylay.

It's not so busy now

2011-10-30T16:05:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.03.01
Current Song - Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday (Stevie Wonder)

The high school sports happening has kind of fallen into place at the moment. This week will see a Thursday-Friday-Saturday string of volleyball-football-football.

Right now I'm trying to preserve finances, of course. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve at the moment. It may not be all that busy during the course of the week, but when there is something do to - it's a lot to handle.

Next week looks to be State Volleyball. The week after that is the start of girls basketball tournaments, with championships on Friday and another football game on Saturday.

The week after looks to be state football on maybe Friday (slight possibility for Saturday also) and then riding my bike to SHS for the annual Sterling-Rock Falls boys basketball tilt.

All if I still cannot secure a job. If I get that, then this schedule is subject to change.

Strapped Advantages?

2011-10-20T22:08:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

While I have no income coming in at this time, I am resorting to some small things to make a buck.

For example, I'm trying to sell some of my things that I have kind of hoarded for years. I'll start with the keyboard I've been trying to sell for a long time.

But when I get a job somewhere, that shouldn't mean I should quit these unusual ways of building onto by finances. Rather, these things would be a supplement to what I would be already making.

How about that?

Interesting TV

2011-10-20T17:41:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.12.01
Current Song - Ah Leah (Donnie Iris)

In the past decade or so, there was never really anything on television that I would religiously watch. No real programming except the TV-6 News at Ten and Leno and Conan afterward. Sportscenter whenever I felt like it.

The only two times when I would go down from the computer to watch TV was when the Hallmark channel had MASH on at 4 pm, and when Family Guy was on Adult Swim at 2 pm. These runs ended after I saw pretty much evey single episode.

Lately there are four shows that, whenever they are on, I will attempt to watch: American Pickers, Hardcore Pawn, Pawn Stars and Storage Wars.

What amazes me about these shows is the items that they focus on; things that I have never heard of before. Also, that there is a value to pretty much anything unique out there.

These shows kind of make me want to go on a treasure hunt. Hunting for treasure is something that sound like a good idea RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

Still Clawing For Hope

2011-10-17T19:17:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.71.01
Current Song - Magnet and Steel (Walter Egan)

Since Plan B has gone dry in the job search, I am now on to Plan C.

Plan A was trying to get that newspaper opening. Plan B was trying to find a gas station job within 25 miles from home. Both haven't worked.

So Plan C involves calling local businesses to see if they are hiring or not. Five years ago I made a list of places where I could try to apply to. That was back when I didn't have a car. Now I do, and have expanded this list to within 20 miles from home.

I couldn't remember the exact list, but I wrote down all the places I could think of in Sterling, Rock Falls, Dixon, Morrison and Prophetstown. Of these places, I either got a "yes," "no," or "you can always fill out an application."

In this calling process, I have found four places with a "yes" that I could reasonably do. These places are: Domino's Pizza, Farm and Fleet, Kroger, and Aaron's. Three more places were found in the classifieds. One of which seems seasonal, another seems to be confusing (the job description was vague), and another maybe, just maybe seems like something that could prepare me for the future - and that is a typing job for a phone book company.

So far, I have filled out the online app for Kroger and emailed the cover letter and resume to the phone book company. The Kroger position is for overnight cashier, which I did for 19 months at BP.

Over the coming days, not only will I hope to hear back from the two places above, but try to tackle the Farm and Fleet and Domino's jobs. After that, I will go into the list of places that told me "you can always fill out an application" and have them on file - as well as get those other two ads from the paper.

Meanwhile, I have to go in front of the City of Sterling Liquor Commission tomorrow morning due to my sting. I hope the fine isn't as bad as I think it is. After that, I hope to get my finances in order.

Freestylin' Once Again

2011-10-15T21:47:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.51.01
Current Song - Moonlight Sonata (Ludwig von Beethoven)

Every waking moment without a source of income becomes dreadful and dreadful. At the same time, when I try to be organized, something always seems to get in the way. I tried making different use of my whiteboard, reserving computer time, and still I find myself falling behind in many things.

I've determined that I am planning too many things for one day. One day could see an article written, and a chore to do, and a blog entry to write, and a game to cover, etc. That's why I fall behind in these things. Perhaps if I do only one or two things a day, that will help get things done. This may stretch things out a long time, but if that's what it's going to take to simply get these things DONE, then so it is.

I have a football article to write tonight, as well as some video to upload. Sunday will be dedicated to the Week 8 Observations piece, and tallying up the pick'em standings. Monday will be dedicated to job finding and finance situations. Tuesday will be spent at the liquor commission hearing. Wednesday and Thursday are open as of right now. Friday will be dedicated to Kaneland at Morris football, while Saturday will be dedicated to covering the Stillman Valley Volleyball Invitational final.

What I can reveal about the job scenario is this - I haven't gotten any calls back from any of the gas stations I have applied at. I think it's time to find another route. The preferences didn't seem to work out. Now I'll have to go back to what I did before taking the BP job, and calling people up the wazoo.

But who?

The feeling right now is not so much wanting to cross my fingers - but just absolute nervousness in possibly having to do something I just do not feel comfortable with. What's worse is trying to click with fellow workers outside of work - something I just haven't been able to do, ever.

I want my dreams to be a reality, not to be destroyed by falling into place in a line in society.

Mind in Another Place

2011-10-10T20:12:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.10.01
Current Song - Kicks (Paul Revere and the Raiders)

While I'm still trying to find job openings at places, my mind seems to be at another place.

I have found something. Not a job, but another ...

Well, this entity is strengthening my wills to kick some habits and become more orderly in a few things. Never before with similar ones in the past have I been prompted to go to such extremes.

Just f'in mesmerizing!

Today Concludes One of the Best Weeks Ever

2011-10-08T21:29:00.004-05:00

Hello, my baby Hello, my honey Hello, my ragtime gal!

Cutter's Log - Stardate 2001.80.01
Current Song - Mo Money Mo Problems (Notorious BIG)

I may not have a job, but all of this downtime is being spent at peace with myself. For one, I have found myself doing extremely well in conversation. Talking to others has been my achilles heel for the longest time, because of the mental condition that I have.

Probably all of the pressure building up inside my head from working for the past three years is disintigrating.

On Sunday I got to have lunch with a friend of mine at Applebees. It was great talking with him. I seemed to carry over the chatting momentum to a cross country meet I went to on Tuesday down in Erie.

The cross country meet almost never happened. I planned on covering a boys golf regional at Sycamore but I overslept. So I scrambled to find something else.

When I'm the only reporter there, I tend to stumble and stutter when I ask these complex questions to people I would like to interview. Most times I will write down questions on my notepad and look at them in the middle of the interview as a cue to what to ask next. For some reason, at this cross country meet I would up freestyling my questions and got some good quotes. I must have figured, hey, I'm the only reporter there so the readers should be proud that they have at least something (not really my best work).

As my writing philosophy, I try to keep my questions simple and easy to answer, and just search for that string of words that fits beautifully with the story. Natrually they do come.

Turns out I had another cross country meet the following day and I once again freestyled my questions ... pretty much just like how I did it the day before. Once again, I was the only reporter there.

Two days of having real good interview sessions was a blast for me. My biggest challenge would come during Friday's Little 10 Tournament finals.

When doing interviews with young ladies, I sometimes tend to be very nervous when presenting myself - I will sometimes have that "ugly" feeling lurking somewhere in my mind. My hair was a mess, I hadn't shaved, and my shirt had chest hair sticking out of it, and here I was interviewing high school girls. This feeling is a habit from when I first started conducting interviews - I was still trying to work on conversation toward girls at that time.

After talking with the coaches I asked for two girls to have an interview session with. Normally I will NOT do a double-session with two people at the same time. However, since the night was fast concluding, I had no choice to do the double-interview with the two girls, both sophomores and probably hadn't been interviewed before. The conversation was a success. I have seen and heard a couple of my writers do these double-interviews, so I tried to act as if I were like them. The transitions worked out well and the whole thing just went very well.

During the volleyball event I at least knew some people that were there, one of them one of my writers who was on assignment for another newspaper. This is usually not the case at most games that I travel to. I was also able to break the ice on some volleyball talk with a football-junkie friend of mine.

More volleyball on Saturday. Surprisingly, I was the only reporter there at the Dixon Invitational. Especially since the title match had teams with a combined record of 59-3. Just call it momentum and following the game, I guess. The more games you get to cover alone, the more confortable you feeling with conversations after the game.

After the Invitational, I found myself engaging in smalltalk with one of the people that I interviewed. That's real odd because that doesn't happen. I guess I was just lucky to be at these games alone. Going back home I stopped by a former co-worker's farewell party at Kelly's Bar and Grill downtown. Had a blast as we wished Will the best at his new gig with the Chicago Tribune.

We all did a toast with a shot of (something), and I actually drank it. I'm not a drinker, nor will I ever be - but this was only the third such occasion that I took a shot of something: a shot of wine at my sister's wedding, a shot of Bud Light at my 5th class reunion, and a shot of this stuff that is unknown to me tonight.

Okay, before I go crazy that's enough fun for the weekend.

In addition to the conversational aspect of things, the gas station hopes got another boost as another opening nearby has been created. Still waiting for the call.

Another confidence booster is something related to what has been mentioned already, but is something I'll just keep to myself for the time being.

Here's to next week!

Time, a Luxury I Kind of Need Right Now

2011-10-01T17:27:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.10.01
Current Song - It Ain't Over Till It's Over (Lenny Kravitz)

When you get canned, naturally there is plenty of time to kill. Apparently not.

It's been a rough 48 hours for yours truly. Froze myself at Friday's football game. Had a low battery on my camera. Had trouble figuring out yard stripes. Somehow I was able to scrap together a game article. Somehow.

Message board babysitting stuff seems to be getting a little better. The job outlook, however, is like the wheels of justice - it turns slowly.

At least the car shouldn't have any more problems, now that most of the stuff has been fixed and was paid for. So I have that going for me. I am having lunch with a former colleague of mine tomorrow, too.

What I'm having an extremely difficult time with is preparation and time management. Perhaps having so much time on my hands has thrown me off-balance in this regard. I have a website to maintain, and it seems like I'm doing things on the fly.

Now that I'm off work, every waking moment from 8 a.m. to midnight is a battle between Dan and I for use of the computer. Then either Mike or Chris will pop in every now and again. I want to find a way that works out for all of us, but since the computer that I'm on is mine I get some more say in things.

As of right now the biggest thing that is on my mind is the operation of NISB. Finding a job (and sticking to the job-finding plan posted on here earlier) doesn't really take all that long to do. Next week should be another packed week with good-sized trips. Balancing this financial aspect of things takes time, and I kind of need that right now.

***

Here's what I want to establish with Danny as far as computer time is concerned:

I get the computer from 9 a.m. until either 5 p.m. (or earlier when I have to prepare to leave for a game). If I sleep in past 9 a.m., he can have it until I wake up. After 5 p.m. he can have it until he gets tired (or until I arrive back home from a sporting event).

When I'm on the computer, I'll put matters toward the website on first priority. I'll tell him that. Working hard within the high school sports arena is what's going to help me persue my desire to stay involved with it for as long as I want. When I get that through his head, he'll understand.

***

I want to wake up at 9 a.m. and begin working on website ideas and concepts for the day. I'm not planning on covering anything that night, so the day will be devoted to internal and technological website matters. When I get off at 5 p.m., Danny can have the computer and I can do some personal things.

From here on out, I will be thinking of things to do with the website. Sometimes reinventing things is a good way to keep fresh. After having lunch with my friend tomorrow, I'll get to writing the Week 6 Observations piece and get it up ASAP.

This all starts with moving my white marker board to the other wall in my office area. It's something minor, but when you're me detail sometimes does matter.

Just When It Couldn't Get Any Worse

2011-09-29T02:42:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.92.90
Current Song - Sweetheart (Franke and the Knockouts)

The water pump on my car is broken.

Just a horrible string of bad luck just keeps on continuing. I don't know how much it costs to have a water pump replaced, but it's a very good chunk of what money I have left.

At least I have a bicycle.

Step Up The Game

2011-09-27T05:14:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.72.90
Current Song - Love Is Blue (Paul Mauriat)

I may ben in an emotional whirlwhind at the moment, but I really do feel alright. I have applied at a couple of gas stations in the Sauk Valley, and may add in one more later in the week. I had to take a trip to these stations in order to scope them out and get a feel for how things are like at these places.

Yeah, I'm one of those people that likes to shop around for the perfect job. However, that is only because I want to be happy while I work. If I'm not happy working, I won't do a good job. That's just how my mind works. This is the same way I have tried to find girlfriends. Except the latter hasn't worked yet. Put me in an uncomfortable situation and I'll bolt.

I still haven't given up hope in this possible newspaper opening. However, just recently some other things have happened. All I will say about this is that it is time for me to step up my game as far as sportswriting is concerned.

The dream is not over. The other dream is also not over.

Narrowing Things Down

2011-09-24T21:56:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.42.90
Current Song - That Girl (Stevie Wonder)

Narrowed the choices down to three gas stations, that is if the newspaper thing doesn't go through. I'll give the newspaper some time to look thing over, but if I don't hear back soon I'll start moving on. If those three don't fly, I have one more option before going to Plan C in the Game Plan (the previous blog entry).

One of these stations has taken a lead, but could very well fall back into the same line as the other two.

Other than that, things are going well. I'm getting caught up on some things. Monday morning I will scope out the three stores and go on some other morning errands.

I've got a good coverage schedule lined up for this week on NISB.
I got a football piece to write for Monday, and then I'll be spending some time dealing with catch-up things before turning to high school sports for a while.

Game Plan

2011-09-20T02:39:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.20.90
Current Song - Simple Man (Lynyrd Skynyrd)

I went out on a walk at around 12:30 this morning. The purpose was to be able to think without distraction, about stretching what finances I have.

The walk quickly turned into a strategy for job inquiring. Along the walk, which was a good two of three miles long, I came up with a game plan toward getting back in the job world.

***

Objective No. 1 is to keep the dreams and goals intact. To do this, I will be focusing on two opposite ends: The here-and-now and the worst-case scenario.

Let's start with worst-case:

I cannot lose the Northern Illinois Sports Beat website, both physically and intellectually.

I am starting plans to fortify the website to prevent it from ceasing operation. At the worst-case, the website would have some changes in terms of content. Right now, I put in some money in order to keep the website as popular as it is. At the worst-case, it could be just me operating the entire website - which is nothing new, since I did it for a long time. The website would thus start fresh, and evolve into a new direction - and perhaps bring back some of the old.

Factoring in website costs, phone bills, gas money, and car insurance, if I remain unemployed I will empty the general fund no later than December, with only Christmas money keeping me from going bust after that. I'm not going to tell exactly how much money I have, but you get the picture.

I have established a couple of buoys in this downturn. One buoy will be the one that makes me go to a Temp Agency to work somewhere I really DO NOT feel like working at. The other buoy will be the time when I'll ask high school sports winter coaches if I could be of service in regards to video taping or statistics.

The here-and-now:

I am closer to getting the papers ready for inquiry into the possible newspaper void that I have discussed. The cover letter is done, the resume needs reviewed, the awards have yet to be copied, and I have one more clip to scan (the Tolstoy-ish piece that I wrote on the RF Softball team in '04). This should be finished by Tuesday night, and then I will immediately mail it.

If 10 days have passed with no response, or if there is an unfavorable response within those 10 days, I will move on toward looking elsewhere.

I noticed a favorable pinpoint on my drive from Big Bend yesterday, and that's the Casey's store in Erie looking for "positions." It seems like last time I went to Erie they were looking for people. That's a start, and I will try to see if there is anything closer before going after this.

I have been working at gas stations for five years, and that is the non-journalism position I feel most comfortable in right now. Erie is 25 miles away from home. I'll look at gas stations within a 25-mile radius (those I feel comfortable working at).

The first call will be to a gas station where a former co-worker of mine is now at. Given the circumstances of my departure from Shell, I will be attempting to see if there is a chance at even considering that particular chain. If that particular store isn't hiring, then I'll spread outward until I reach the 25-mile mark and then contact Erie.

If the gas stations have all been exhausted, then I'll look into the box stores in the Tri-city area. Then I'll start digging up the list of places that I tried applying to back in the summer of 2008 (my last stretch of unemployment).

If the box stores are exhausted, then the gas station radius will spread to 50 miles. If the 50-mile gas station radius is exhausted, then I'll extend the box-store radius to 50 miles. Cities included in this 50-mile radius include: Clinton (IA), the Quad Cities, the Rockford area, Kewanee, Princeton, LaSalle-Peru, Rochelle, DeKalb/Sycamore, Freeport, Oregon, Byron and Mendota.

By the time if any of these areas are exhausted (I would hope not), the first worst-case buoy should be reached.

If anything newspaper sports-like comes up during this time, I'll go after it and rework the game plan.

Your input is welcome.

***

Let's get out there, and FIGHT!

Good Time To Catch Up On Things

2011-09-19T05:42:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.91.90
Current Song - Baker Street (Gerry Rafferty)

One of the best things about not working at the moment is that I can get caught up on personal things.

One of the personal things I've been working on lately is to get in better shape. I'm not surrounded by packaged food at work anymore, so this eliminates the temptations. Also when hungry from work, I would make a trip to a drive-thru. Now that I'm on a tight budget, that overrules the fast food chains. I literally can't spend the money.

I'm also going to be a little lax on the games that I cover in the next couple of weeks, but still at the same coverage rate. Football will still be normal. Less trips - less money to spend.

Another way to cut back on spending is to not drive the car on in-town trips. The bike will be used for such, unless I bunch errands into an out-of-town trip.

All of which should help me feel better physically.

Today I plan on walking through Big Bend State Park in Prophetstown. I've been there a few times, but never really walked around it. While there, in town, I'm going to pick up a couple of newspapers. You know what for.

Tomorrow is a girls golf meet at Emerald Hill. The bicycle will be used. Let's see if this can hold up.

Partial Lead

2011-09-17T20:56:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.71.90
Current Song - Stranglehold (Ted Nugent)

I looked in a little deeper into that newspaper opening that has been discussed. After getting some info, the said roster spot may or may not be open. When I see or hear "may or may not be open", I have to treat that as if it was open.

The cover letter is in the works, and the resume needs to be polished and updated. I'm going to choose from five works to submit as well.

Of course, if I do get this position, what will happen to NISB? During my time with SVN, I was allowed to operate the NISB Message Boards (from June to September of 2004, NISB was just a message board). It just depends on what happens.

Plenty of Catch-up Time

2011-09-15T19:02:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.61.90
Current Song - Something About You (Level 42)

I think I now have more time to write in this Blog because of what all happened.

I've since asked about that newspaper void, and circled a couple of different routes. One temporary route is still in the works, and is about 50-50 as of right now.

With the extra time, I took to one of my "Stretching Sportsfan Dollars" topics. (Who would have thought I would have to use them). I made a trip to both the Sterling and Rock Falls libraries and looked at some books that featured ways to save money. I'm not making any, so it's probably best for me to hold on to what I got.

Then I made a trip to the Silver dealer. Once in a grand while I would find silver in the cash register and trade it with a coin from my car. Well, since I'm not going to be surfing cash registers anymore, I figured I'd sell them. One quarter, two dimes and three war nickels - all for $8. It's right about what I expected.

I was going to make a trip to the Chamber of Commerce and put in an advertisement for the rummage sale I plan on having (as a part of Garage Sale Days on 9/24-25). Like I said, some things I kinda need to part with. The rummage sale is similar to the one I had in June - various knick-knacks, sports cards, and the keyboard. The Chamber is asking for $10.00 for the ad in its flyer (which it distributes to local businesses). If I can simply save that $10.00 and print out flyers on my own and place them places, it will be an improvement over last time with no advertising at all (except for two pieces of posterboard).

As far as fuel goes, the next two weeks I only plan on leaving the Twin Cities on two occasions. Everything else, such as Sterling events, will either be on bike or by foot.

Playing tactical analysis such as this can be stressful, too.

The Terrible Ordeal I've Been Going Through

2011-09-14T04:22:00.002-05:00

I have posted on Facebook in the past couple of days that I was going through some extremely difficult times, and needed some support of any kind. However, I didn't tell anyone exactly what happened.

Right now, I will explain what happened. This is not a complete record of such, as there are some things I would not like to reveal in the blog entry at this current time – such as the names of people.

You'll only fully understand if you read the entire thing.

***

Ever since leaving the Gazette/Telegraph seven years ago, I always wanted to find some way to get back into the newspaper world (not journalism world, but newspaper world – there's a difference). Northern Illinois Sports Beat, the website that I run, was established to help me keep my journalism skills fresh and up-to-date.

Since writing things seemed to go very well for me (c. 2002), I always wanted to work for the local newspaper and one day be its sports editor. I came close to that ultimate dream seat when I joined the local paper for a part-time position in April of 2004.

That run ended and I was back to school for my senior year of high school. At the time my academics were not all that great, and they were the prime priority. But I figured that one day I shall return to the seat and cubicle that I once occupied at Sauk Valley Newspapers.

As most of you know, journalism has had a bunch of lows since 2004. Seven years and no real opportunity came along. There had been several openings throughout the NISB coverage area, but I simply wasn't ready to give up NISB and make that transition. I've had arguments with good friends over the fact that I can't simply just up and leave the home that I live in, and my parents own, in Sterling.

However, a possible opening was brought to my attention during the Saturday of high school football's Week 1 by a newspaper friend of mine. An opening at his paper was filled by someone else from a nearby paper, thus creating this void at this “nearby” paper. So at that time I knew this situation existed, and didn't think much of it because it was so early in the season and website plans would be paramount over anything.

The following week, out of the blue, I get asked about this newspaper opening while covering another football game. How my friend knew about the potential void I will never know. I tell him, “well I don't know, I have the website and all that.”

The week after that, someone else that I know heard something along the line of “I turned down the job offer at this newspaper.” One, there was no job offer – thus making this whole thing nothing more than a rumor. This person tells someone close to me, who tells another person close to me.

The latter person, always wanting the best of me and for me to follow my true dreams, is angry that I supposedly “turned down” this opportunity. A drive to the Shell station that I work out was apparently needed in order to inform me of my “stupid decision.”

We are arguing back and forth – no raised voices or anything – about the fact that I should have jumped at this offer. I point out that there was never a job offer and such was pretty much a rumor that I had “turned them down.”

As all of this is unfolding, I become absolutely flustered, confused, distraught, and blindsided enough to focus away from my duties as Shell gas station clerk. My autistic mind is mentally cramming, Aspergian style.

Then a customer buys a six-pack of Bud Light in bottles.

The a couple of minutes later, a couple of guys with clipboards come in.

The customer who bought the Bud Light was underage, and I didn't even think of carding him because of my mental state brought forth by this arguing.

Bottom line, I just sold alcohol to a minor.

I tell my adversary in this argument to “Get out.”

The bad news hit me hard. I cried. I didn't want to work the rest of the night. I went home early.

September 12, 2011. This, folks, would be the final night that Cody Cutter worked at the Shell gas station. Three years and 42 days.

Due to the seriousness of the offense, I had to be fired. My boss didn't want to fire me, and even the owner didn't want to fire me, all because apparently I had been a good worker and a loyal employee in the three years I had been there. However, the decision was the owner's, and he was going along the line of “If I gave you an exception, I would have to give everyone else an exception.” Which is very true in this case because I knew a lot of Shell workers.

During the cop's arrival that night, he had made a comment to me that I handled the situation very calmly – and that most others when they fail get all up and arms about the problem. I didn't scream, I didn't get pissed off, and I simply accepted the fact that this would be my final night at Shell. At the same time, I didn't want to hold off telling my boss what had happened. I called her and woke her up to tell her this. I felt this was the right thing to do, to admit it immediately and up-front.

I have been teary-eyed every moment since, and am teary-eyed as I type this. After some comforting by my parents, I'm still teary-eyed.

Meanwhile, the person that I was arguing with is in a world of hurt because of what had just happened to me. And this was because the need to address the situation had to be urgent, apparently. Please let it be known to everyone that while it cost me my job, I will always be close. I do not want anyone to hurt this person in any way. No rifts. Always close. Always. Forever.

***

As of Tuesday afternoon I am a free agent.

Now begins the search for another job. Already there are a couple of avenues that have opened up for me. One is something I had done before. Another is a one-off opportunity. Another is something I had never done before. One is close. Another is far. A quick look at the classifieds reveals things that I just cannot do. The best shot out of that listing was an opening for sales and delivery for the big ice business out of the town of Ohio.

So any help is greatly appreciated.

However, there is one better avenue that is worth persuing.

The whole point of that argument.

If I can get my mind straightened out, I'll look into that newspaper job. What that will mean for Northern Illinois Sports Beat is unclear. My best guess is that if I get this newspaper job, I will ask to retain the Message Boards. I'll have to shut down the content side of things, if I get this job, because of competition reasons.

Two years ago, I created an NISB Transition Plan that I simply made mention of in that year's State of the Site Address, but never publically revealed. The Transition Plan is the emergency operations of NISB when I am unable to run the website. So plans are in place when and if the time comes up. But the prime mission of the Transition Plan is to ensure the survival of Northern Illinois Sports Beat if and when I am gone.

Who knows what is going to happen right now.

However, I feel somewhat compelled to improve my life in this aspect. I hated, hated, hated, having to prioritize work, school and prep sports. Absolutely hated it. School is now out of the question until I get restabilized. I want to be happy and at peace with myself while making money and building my life. I feel that I'm happy and at peace when I'm out there writing about high school sports, and interacting with these people. I have mentioned on here many times that the sportswriters and media types that I cover games with are whom I consider my true circle of friends.

Cash flow is extremely critical right now. I have nothing coming in after the final paycheck, and have expenses and interests that I can try and squeeze somehow.

What's best about this is that I can kick the lottery habit, and the fast food habit. I have plenty of time right now to take some walks and at least try to get myself in some sort of shape. You see, I can find ways to turn these big negatives into positives that will help me. That is how, and why, I will fight through this whole ordeal.

I told my boss, “something good will come out of this,” and I will be on my way toward making that so.

10th Anniversary of 9/11

2011-09-11T09:04:00.000-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.11.90

Why do we seem to place a connection between us and national tragedy?

When hearing the question of “Where were you when Jack Kennedy was shot?” asked to those older than me, I wondered why their location had anything to do with what went on in Dallas.

However, over time those that learned about it knew why it was worth asking – it was one of the first tragic national events to unfold over national television. President Kennedy had not yet died when the news broke, and people had one ear on the news and the other elsewhere.

My grandparents, fresh out of high school together, were transitioning into the next phase in their lives in November 1963. I was just getting used to high school life as a freshman in September 2001, and considered it a key transition in my life at that time.

You had to have understood what had just happened in order to realize how much these tragic events change what you see around you.

Where were you when Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot? Where were you when the Challenger exploded? Where were you when the Oklahoma City Bombing took place?

The earliest one I can truthfully answer is the question of where I was on September 11, 2001. Challenger took place two months before I was born, and I never really understood what had happened when the Murrah Building was blown up.

Like most Americans, I remember where I was when I heard the news of the attacks on 9/11/01.

Technically, Flight 11 hit the North Tower while I was getting books out of my locker on the first floor of Sterling High School. The time was 7:46, and I was never in a great hurry to get to my first-hour class. This class was considered a divided Humanities block, where first hour was the english and literature part of it, and the second hour was the world history part of it. I was never into literature, and dreaded going to the class.

The school day started at 8:00 with the morning announcements. No mention of the attacks were said. (At that time, CNN had broken in but the events that unfolded were considered nothing more than a plane hitting the World Trade Center. We didn't know that it was a planned attack until an hour later.) Throughout this literature class, no mention was made on a plane hitting the tower. This was an age before text messaging became popular on cell phones, and before Blackberrys. We were immensed in analysis on Homer's Odyssey the entire time.

So when 8:03 came and Flight 175 hit the South Tower, we were handing in Monday's homework or something like that. Furthermore, when Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon, there was still more Odyssey talk.

First hour ended at 8:50, and there was an unusually loud pre-passing period hallway in the minutes before class. Our teacher at the time didn't like the fact that we would prepare to leave the classroom at 8:48 and hear zippers zip up and down and books being put away.

We were just leaving the classroom when the group of students coming in talked about how a plane had hit the World Trade Center. How they knew about it, I didn't know at the time.

The way this Humanities block works out is that one group starts with the world history class (at the other end of the school) and another starts with the literature part (my part). We switch rooms and teachers with the passing period, so almost everyone that was in the World History part of class was at the doorway when I left the literature class.

When we moved to our World History part of the block, Mr. Walton already had the radio on ABC News. This class wasn't all that time-consuming, meaning there was some free time during pockets of class. When that happened, Mr. Walton was on his computer or calling other teachers. That's how he knew of all of this before my literature teacher did.

During the first part of the history class, we were informed as to just how serious this really was. That it just isn't coinsidence that two planes hit both WTC buildings, and another hits the Pentagon.

There I was, three seats from the first row in Room 225. Appx. 8:55 a.m. Because of my mental condition (Asperger's Syndrome), I could not feel the impact of 9/11 that everyone else around me feels. I still cannot feel that impact of 9/11. Apparently it's an impact. People ask me why I can't feel it and simply come to the immediate conclusion that I don't have a soul; the “I felt it, therefore” theory.

ABC News was the first to report that the South Tower had collapsed (at 8:59) and we were listening ot it, and that was just before I had clawed back into reality after trying to figure out what had just happened.

The only phrase I can truly recall from Peter Jennings was the following, “The Southern Tower, 10:00 Eastern Time this morning, just collapsing on itself.”

Mr. Walton had the radio play all class, and thus the normal curriculum was put on hold. The same thing for Mr. Brown's health class the next period. During that class, an announcement was made that our Auditorium would be open for showing of news coverage until a certain time.

I didn't have any stunned looks on my face. My first reaction to hearing that the attacks were of a terrorist nature was a simple "whoa." I didn't cry, wave a flag, or anything like that. My thought process was: now the US is going to find the guys responsible, and have something similar to the Nuremberg Trials. A war may happen, too.

When I made my way to the auditorium, I noticed others were also going down. I wasn't doing well in health class, or next period's Spanish class also. The news reports kind of made it sound like the prelude to the Spanish-American War. Okay, we're going to have another Spanish-American War, but with the country that did this.

To those who have read all of this so far, it may seem as if I have no soul. I'm simply recalling my thoughts of the day. The reason I didn't get sad or anything was because it didn't effect Cody Cutter personally. So after sitting through all of the reactions, I began to wonder for a minute why my reactions were not the same as those persons on television. Why is everyone else reacting like this, and I'm not?

I think my reactions were missing because I didn't want to feel weak at the moment. I wanted to keep my head up and move on to justice. Sure, I acknowledged the horrors and the losses, but I didn't want that to change my life. I didn't want any outside force to change my life.

When we saw the video glimpse of a man with a turban and long beard (at the news reports in the Auditorium), "Is that the guy that did it?" was heard. No, I'm not going to let that guy throw me off-balance.

While everyone else was thrown off-balance with the news, I clung on to my axis and didn't move. You can pain me, but I'm not going to sit there and cry about it. I prefer fighting back. The Asperger's in me calls it a simple process of “do” and “do this” and life continues on. Business as usual. At times I even had this “why is everyone trying to cram this thing down by throat” feeling.

I wanted to remain strong, and still be able to think "oh my goodness" a little bit. With the news of Osama Bin Laden's death, and seeing the throngs of crowds everywhere, I began to think back at my inital reaction to 9/11. I didn't feel a thing then, and I didn't feel a thing that Sunday night.

But as the recent news events went on, it made me wonder about who I was and why I am who I am. Even as this 10th Anniversary goes on, I get that feeling still.

Since I didn't have an inital reaction to 9/11, my mindset since that Tuesday morning remains a pre-9/11 mindset. My current mindset is still pre-9/11. I was wondering why all these people were acting the way they were. I began to become more curious about why people think and act the way they do. At first I thought this was a growing-up process, but the more I think about it perhaps 9/11 made me think more psychologically about people. Are they trying to push me around?

Because I had no initial reaction to 9/11, people looked at me real differently (moreso than usual). Here I am, looking from the outside into the post-9/11 mindset that is around all of you. People are valuing things more than they did before. I just haven't found a way to do that yet.

A crime? With this mental condition of mine, am I guilty?

Office Time

2011-09-11T05:25:00.000-05:00

Cutter's Log – Stardate 1102.01.90
Current Song – Don't Sleep in the Subway (Petula Clark)

I have decided to cancel an assignment of mine to cover a Volleyball Tournament today so that I can do a website evaulation.

Action on the message boards has triggered a look at the way we do things. I am taking the entire day to look at statistics, improvements, weaknesses, and such in order to make the website a successful one. In addition, I have a couple of columns in the backburner that I would like to get written, plus the Week 3 Observations piece.

Normally, Saturday is my day off of the Shell station so that I can cover something. But this retooling is more urgent to the well-being of NISB than covering an additional sporting event.

It is 10:00 a.m., and in the next few hours I will be leaving this typing space on my screen to come up with improvements, and all that.

10:12 a.m. - I am also uploading video of the Newman/Morrison Football game I covered last night as I do all of this. My brother Danny just woke up and is probably going to want the computer. He'll have to wait.

10:16 a.m. - During the game I received three additional comments from people regarding the cleanup effort I have put forth on the NISB Message Board. This increases the total to somewhere over 15. If that many people had a problem with it, then the banter was really that annoying. Who knows who else I'll meet that will tell me the same thing.

10:23 a.m. - A closer look into what caused the mess on the Message Board has been isolated to a couple of particular small areas: Winnebago, Boylan, Hononegah, Harlem, Guilford, Auburn, Rockford Lutheran, Rockford Christian, Rockford Christian Life, and South Beloit. Another video has been uploaded. With the banter being as high as it was, the likelyhood of traffic picking up from those areas is great. In order to maintain the well-being of the Message Board, however, we can't afford to bring in these people.

10:47 a.m. - Another video uploaded. What I mean by “not affording to bring in people” means not talking up the website in these areas. I had thought of suspending content coverage of these schools until the fall playoffs, or until the situation is cleaned up and reinstating them on a case-by-case basis. Normally when I post a story to the website, I'll post a link to the story on the Message Boards either on an existing topic or a seperate topic. We can still cover these things, but just for those who frequent the non-boards part of the website.

10:55 a.m. - I look at it as trying to spread the word of NISB around to other parts of the coverage area. I have determined that the tone of the topics of greater question have shyed people from elsewhere away from the boards. Since these topics have been sort of deflated, I figured it is time to try to corral these bases back up again. I had been centering website coverage around popular bases of the message board, but will take a break from that motive.

11:03 a.m. - So what other bases have seen an increase of traffic? While not naming them on here, in the meantime I'll think of them.

4:18 p.m. - So instead of thinking about my bases, I took a long nap. I just woke up now. It's hot outside and it's hot in my room. But I did think about these improvement points. I'll try to cover more things in these areas, and let some areas take care of itself.

4:20 p.m. - Now comes trying to fix the structure of the Message Board.

5:25 p.m. - Not too long ago I put up the “Info Center” on the Message Board. This thing at the bottom of the page includes a lit of people who are online at the current time and those who have logged on in the past 24 hours. During a past quelling of a banter, I informed people that it's best to do your bashing of people via private message. Hopefully this will show people if the person they want to talk with is online or not. It also tells me if there are new members on the Board.

5:29 p.m. - I have just made a change in the registration process. Prior to today, new members could simply register and log on when they are done. Now, with me or ging have to manually approve new accounts, and the new member has to force-activate his or her account via e-mail. This accomplishes two things: 1) to crack down on spammers and 2) prevents the user from entering a fake e-mail address. If you are stupid enough to not be truthful in your profile information, then you probably shouldn't be posting on the board anyway.

5:36 p.m. - The NISB Message Board rules have been printed out and put on my desk for retooling. Obviously the latest board action is causing me to make some changes to these rules. I have in my mind a new intro to the board rules, as the current intro is outdated. Most of the revisions are of outdated items, more powers caused by recent admin decisions, and ways to protest message board users and the high school sports scene from any devestating backlash they may receive. However, I won't work on that right now. I would like to find more ways to improve the website.

5:47 p.m. - Now the the more popular topics on the message board. I have received a lot of comments lately about our scoreboard updates on the football forum. They like knowing not only the final scores of the games, but how these scores came to be.

5:50 p.m. - As I've stated in the “changes to the forum” topic, the problem is that the opinions of these particular fans are the problem and need to be toned down. They simply can't think of these things because the fallout is most likely detrimental to the kids. Oh, and the Newman/Morrison videos are almost ready.

5:52 p.m. - Anyway, back to the scoreboard talk. With the new registration restrictions, it will be harder to have new posters post updates to the scoreboard. This is because I am at a game and have yet to approve the account. So on Fridays from 3:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. on Saturday, I'll try to disable the account-approval function so that people can start posting quickly. These new members will still need to force-activate their account via email before they can post. It's just a matter of trying to remember to do this before I leave for a game.

5:55 p.m. - I have been having internet issues on my cell phone, which is why I couldn't post updates on the Newman/Morrison game on the website. I had a problem earlier in the season of not being able to update scores from the game I'm covering in a timely manner, but I fixed that issue. That way, I can still try to post updates and talk back and forth with any of the website contributors that are also covering games.

6:02 p.m. - One more video to go before releasing all of them on the website. Two videos are from the sophomore game. Yes, SOPHOMORE video. In your face!

6:03 p.m. - An idea from a while back was to update the NISB homepage before leaving to a football game. The “top bar” (the most recent story link) would be a link to the Week's scoreboard on the message boards, as well as a topic of updates from the NISB Game of the Week. This will help bring more people to the Weekly scoreboard. However, I have worried about coverage balance in the past and feel this may put football over the edge and leave a wider gap between football and volleyball. One poster had put up a weekly volleyball scoreboard, which I thought was a great idea ... but that kind of faded a little. Of all of this, I think I would have to be doing more workshop work before a game than preparing for the game itself.

6:08 p.m. - You heard it here first: NISB Game of the Week for Week 4 will be Peotone at Sandwich. I figured it was time to give Bill the NISB football spotlight.

6:10 p.m. - Perhaps 10 videos is too much. It's 6:10 on Saturday evening and they aren't even up yet. But what does this mean for SOPHOMORE VIDEO? It'll still exist. It's too bad I don't have software to stitch these videos together. Something to look into.

6:12 p.m. - Nah ... 10 videos is just fine.

6:14 p.m. - When I get the car up and running once more, I'm thinking of a flyer tour of the said areas of traffic increase. Which, by the way, I need a new poll question and a new news item for the FYI Blog. Hopefully I get done with this.

6:20 p.m. - Videos are up. Success!

6:29 p.m. - I think I may have caused confusion when naming those schools. Talk about these schools is still okay for the message board, but I will just simply stay away from them until the time is right and people can behave.

6:42 p.m. - Okay, I think I'll tend to the revision of the Message Board rules.

9:44 p.m. - Finished revising the Message Board Rules. It actually took a couple of hours, and I spent an hour watching rememberance items. Along the way I considered the flyer tour I want to go throughout the area of recent pickup. This version of the Message Board rules is somewhat longer and goes in depth regarding specific banned discussions. Over the next few days I'll start to release this version to the board so that people will understand them.

5:28 a.m. - Okay, so I was going to post this whole thing in my blog after finishing the last paragraph, but never got around to doing it. Here we go now.

Have a good day.

We'll See if This Holds Up

2011-09-09T15:20:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

In my recent headache of things, I wondered if there was any other way I could possibly make a little more money.

A few years ago we had a garage-full of empty pop cans that were meant to be recycled one day. That day came years later when I wanted to take them to the recycling center in Galt for some cash. All those cans and only $8. I was disappointed, but in the end I got at least some cash and a cleaner garage.

Plus, I think jumping up and down crushing them helps burn calories.

I think there are 32 standard pop cans to one pound, and maybe 24 16-oz cans to one pound (if my math is correct). I've seen ads for alumnimum at an average of 40 cents/pound. This rate will vary depending on the recycling center, and where I end up traveling to on the way to a game.

Getting Better Little By Little

2011-09-09T03:51:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.90.90
Current Song - Boogie Oogie Oogie (A Taste of Honey)

I felt horrible after last night. However, little by little I am getting better. Nothing is fixed to a T, but I'm finding myself somewhat happier and at peace at this moment than how I was yesterday.

The biggest worry was with my car. After going through underneath the hood with dad, apparently I do not have any coolant in my car. That explains the engine temprature gauge at a firing-hot 260 degrees. He recommended that I get my oil changed (it's actually close to needing one) and have the guys there take a look at it and go from there. At least I have a direction to go on. Here's hoping it's not serious.

Whether the coolant problem is serious or not will determine whether I get my brake pads and rotors replaced. The brakes still have some life left in them, and I can save some sanity by not digging a deep money hole by getting this problem rectified in a time of its own.

As for work, tonight was one of the most boring nights I've had in a long, long time. My main customer duo took the night off. The only customer traffic came in small spurts, leaving many pockets of lingering silence. But there's good news - a couple of pluses came from my time at work tonight.

Because of my car issue, I decided to ride my bike to work. This was something I always planned on doing, but the seat on my bike is so high up that I couldn't get on it with my workpants not stretching so well. I didn't want to rip my pants. However, I found a way to get something to stand on so that I can get on my bike and go. The more I ride the bike, the more exercise I get - and I need it - and the less stress it puts on the car.

This morning I picked up an afternoon shift to make for a four-day work week, which is where I'd rather be. Then an extended schedule for the future was determined and I have a couple of good things coming out of it: 1) there is a four-day stretch where I do not work (a mini-vacation), and 2) Friday of Week 5 will be spent at a football game! Four-day work weeks are great for the checking ledger.

Now I get to start on some of books that I bought during my Borders money-saving trip:

1) The Book of Questions
2) A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Converstion
3) I Love You. Now What?

Stress Level Up

2011-09-08T04:31:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.80.90
Current Song - In a Big Country (Big Country)

Where do I begin?

My car's engine is overheating as of late. As of this writing it is dark outside, but when there is some light out I will have a look under the hood. Take the car away from me, and you have basically sucked the life out of high school sports coverage plans. The days of riding my bike to Morrison just aren't back right now. That's where I plan on going on Friday afternoon, for a football game against Newman.

Saturday's plans to cover the Byron Power Classic are also in jeopardy, unless I find another vehicle. And this is very unlikely, I'd have to tap into some important agendas to accomplish that.

But at this point, I don't mind being stalled. This I would hope gives me some time to fix everything that is going on.

Then with even slightly thinking about missing such big events has me thinking of other journalists trying to destroy NISB, the very thing I love to do and is keeping my spirits alive.

Then I think of this decision I made to switch my Fridays and Saturdays as off-days for work. I'm missing more football games this way in an attempt to jump start Saturday stuff. Things at work, well, have just become nothing more than a big dead end lately.

Back to my car, it's been having brake issues as of late. I think I need new pads and the rotors either turned or replaced. Now an oil change has crept up.

All of this costs money, which I happen to be very reluctant to spend in the first place. I already have a website to take care of, and now all of this? I had planned on buying a dresser for my clothes (because I do not have one); and that is now on the backburner - and for how long, I don't know. Heck, I've already had to push back continuing college studies because of money issues.

Not to mention this on top of all of the other standard difficulties of conversation, love and friendships.

The head just keeps spinning.

Not sure which direction to go in

2011-08-21T20:54:00.005-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.12.80
Current Song - I'm Not In Love (10cc)

The following pertains to a very confusing subject of mine ... Love. What you see of me at the gas station, or at sports events, or errands, or festivities, or driving around ... you don't see my heart and brain keep wrestling itself when it comes to Love - and the pain I feel when thinking of this fight.

1. Is the past the reason why I can't succeed today, and should I let go of it? If I let go of the past, will I have better luck in finding a woman?

OR

2. Continue to keep holds on the past, and hope the past either finds me or changes course and finds me?

All those years of making Top 50 lists in middle school, and knowing many more from nearby schools is kind of the reason why I'm in this predicament. Over the years I have had a lot of appreciation for many girls, and for a great deal of them their kindness is something that I never forget. In essence, I just can't seem to let go of them while we all try to move on in this great big world.

"Letting go" meaning telling myself there is no hope in falling in love.

Now try to imagine removing viruses from your computer.

My heart and my brain are wrestling each other at this moment, and have been for quite a while. There are some dreams that I have been able to put away and forget about. There are others that still linger in the queue. Then there are others where my brain says 'withdraw immediately, it's the moral thing to do.' and my heart says 'I still love her.' I keep screaming to myself, "GET RID OF IT!" with strong resistance from my heart.

No, these are not just a few girls. These are many of them. The more dreams I can permanently put aside, the more my head becomes clear. The putting aside thing is very difficult for me. I feel that with a clear slate, I'm able to better concentrate on the future. Just got to accomplish this clear slate.

Help!

I just know that I can't continue to have these thoughts and its time to move on.

Foot Notes

2011-08-12T07:50:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.21.80
Current Song - Mr. Vain (Culture Beat)

It's hard to find a pair of shoes that fit me.

I've always feared that one day I'd have to get clothing at a special store. I haven't done that, and as long as this moving around thing is as good as it is, I don't think that day will come.

Then I had to buy another pair of shoes.

About two years ago I had a bit of difficulty finding a pair of shoes that fit me. I got lucky, because at the first store I checked out (Shoe Sensation at the local Mall) they had a shoe that fit. Just a regular 9 was too small and cramped. The 9-wide that was suggested was also snug. Then, after going to the back (somehow a sad sign), a pair of 10-extra-wide was brought out and fit well.

These shoes have been through muddy football fields, wet infield grass, snow, squatting down to pick up dropped change, and other things to tear the soles off. When I wear them now, you can see the sock on my foot. I'm not going to go onto a football field wearing these shoes - it's an autistic thing that I can't stand getting my feet wet, cold and dirty.

So when it came time to look for shoes, I tried to find a 10-extra-wide. After exhausting the local thrift stores (I'm kind of on a budget) I went to Payless, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and even back to Shoe Sensation once more. Nothing fit. Then I went to JCPenny. This pair of black 9-4E shoes were on sale for just over $30.

Most people can recall the sizes of the things they wear in an instant. I just can't do that. At the time I was at Penney's I didn't remember why I was wearing a size 10. The toes didn't come close to hitting the top of the inside of the shoe.

I tried on the left shoe and it fit well. So naturally I figured the right shoe would fit just the same. I didn't try the right shoe. I paid for the pair and brought it home. It was only before planning on riding my bike to work did I find out that the right shoe was horribly tight. I figured it was normal and it would wear itself in after a few days. So I wore them to work and my feet became incredibly cramped. I worked most of the shift with my socks on.

The problem with these shoes is that they are not WIDE enough. Toe-to-ankle they fit perfectly. The width is the hardest part of shoe buying.

My feet are unusual. Think of Fred Flintstone. He has the same kind of feet I do. I think you get that from driving a Flintstone-mobile. Apparently this comes through the family (mom's side). What's more difficult about it is that these feet have been powering pedals on so many bicycle rides over the years. They've become sort of muscular.

So I'm going to return this "new" pair of shoes today, and stick with the old ratty ones until a trip to Rockford on Monday. I'm covering a golf meet up there - first prep event of the 11-12 school year - and will be sporting the formal shoes for the occasion. If Rockford doesn't have my shoes, perhaps Jupiter does?

FOR SALE: Yamaha Keyboard

2011-08-08T09:51:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.80.80

For Sale: Late 1990s Yamaha DJX Keyboard, some cosmetic wear, a little dusty, and yellowed keys, but electronic component fully operational. Missing the manual, as well as the foot switch. Two knobs have small chips. $40. Message me on Facebook, or call me (815.441.9589) for more.

Here's a nice write-up describing the keyboard from an ebay auction not too long ago:

From phat to funky, ultracool to chunky, the DJX is one awesome keyboard. It's your one-stop groove-station — complete with a built-in sampler, way cool real-time control knobs, and the most happening Patterns and Voices ever put into a single machine.

Want to find out more? Take this tour!

Even if you've never played a keyboard in your life, the DJX lets you sound just like a pro — the minute you get it out of the box!

Give it some juice...and start it up!

Who says there's no such thing as "instant gratification"? Just try twisting and turning the sound around with these vintage analog style control knobs — while the Pattern is playing. This is hands on sonic control - at its best.

Groove knob: This lets you change — subtly or radically — the "feel" or timing of the Pattern. Turn this to give it some swing, make it laidback ...or just play it straight! Assign knob: You call the shots with this knob. Assign it to control dynamics, turntable, or any one of twelve different functions! Bass Boost knob: Pump up the bass of the entire DJX sound with this knob — and rock the house!

The CUTOFF AND RESONANCE knobs give you powerful realtime control over the sound. Select either the keyboard Voice or one of the Pattern Parts (like bass, or hi-hat), then tweak knobs as you play.

Just like on vintage analog synthesizers, this knob lets you sweep the cutoff frequency of the filter as you play the keyboard. Turn it to the right to "open up" the filter for a brighter sound, and turn it to the left to "shut down" the filter.

Set this to determine how much the CUTOFF knob affects the sound. Turn it to the right for maximum filter effect, and to the left for more subtle filter changes.
Cut loose on the ribbon!

Here's another expressive wonder from the golden age of synthesizers! You can play this in real time, too! Just touch the RIBBON CONTROLLER and slide your finger along it — and hear how the sound changes. Plus, there are tons of things you can assign to this... Set it to control effect depth, attack, release, dynamics — and more!

The DJX is jam-packed with hip features that give you instant and total control over the music — and put you in the producer's chair.

Part Control - With the PART ON/OFF keys you're an instant maestro of mix. Simply press the appropriate keys and the Pattern plays back, and create your own arrangements live! Drop parts out and fly parts in — you're in control!

Each of the 100 Patterns includes several variations for spicing up the rhythm. Two of these are Beat A and Beat B buttons. Play around with the Beat A and Beat B buttons as the Pattern is running, and hear the dynamic, exciting changes they make as they take your music up another level!

This little devil really lets you shake things up and turn the rhythm 'round! While the Pattern is rolling, just press the Beat Reverse key. This breaks up the beat by hitting the top of the phrase and starting the Pattern again. Press it repeatedly to get wild, syncopated, stuttering effects!

Here's yet another long-lost feature from the days when synthesizers ruled the world — a built-in Arpeggiator! Hold several notes on the keyboard, then let the DJX work its arpeggio magic — automatically creating funky, hip patterns based on the notes you play!

Digital Sampling is built right into the DJX! Sample your own parts (from a microphone or CD player), then play them from the keyboard. Use the Knobs and Ribbon Controller to change the sound, too. Plus, simple-to-use editing controls let you fine-tune your samples — and even loop them.

The Dual mode lets you layer two Voices together, while the Split mode lets you play two different Voices with your left and right hands.

Save your precious original panel settings to these four buttons for instant recall. Four available banks give you a total of sixteen memory spaces. Plus, there are two Preset buttons that let you call up ideal pre-programmed settings for each selected Style.

100 dynamic Patterns to groove with - the hottest, coolest and latest!

283 stunning Voices — with hits, scratches, breakbeats, loops, and human voice samples! (includes 128 GM Voices)

Tons of real-time performance features - to keep your music movin' and groovin'!

Bike Riding

2011-08-07T09:00:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

Trying to find something to do today, on my day off, I wanted to take my bicycle and get it prepped up for the fall. It had been hanging in the garage for almost a year. Got it out this morning around 6:00, dusted it off a little, and put it in the trunk to get the tires filled with air. It was a nice day for a ride.

The bike is an old-style Huffy, cream-colored, and I bought it at a Wal-Mart in Silvis for around $100.

After getting the air at Mobil, I rode around the theatre parking lot, and did figure eights around the Menard's medians. The bike still rides well, but the seat became a little hard over the storage time. I then drove to Wal-Mart and picked up not only an extra seat cushion, but a lock for the bike.

The whole reason why I wanted to get the bike out again was to use it for exercise, and to use it for errands around town. This would also help my car; not having to use it to go around town should help gas mileage. And it does kill two birds with one stone in helping me drop some of this weight.

Right now I'm having to learn how to make good distance. Mobil to the end of Menards and back seemed like a lot. My home is on a low-point in town, and points east and west involve going up a small hill. Not to mention trying to master the First Avenue railroad viaduct again. Baby steps for now.

I walked to work for the first time in a long time on Thursday. The walk was great. Then having to stay on my feet at work was a pain. However the walk back wasn't all that bad. I'm going to take the bike to work on Monday night. Hopefully it all goes well.

Sometime in May 2012, I would like to be fit enough to duplicate an event that seemed impossible. I rode my bicycle to Geneseo to see my softball friends play a game. Apparently they never forgot that day. Just for accomplishment's sake.

You Know You Grew up in Sterling/Rock Falls If......

2011-08-07T01:12:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.70.80
Current Song - That Girl (Stevie Wonder)

There is this Facebook group called "You Know You Grew up in Sterling/Rock Falls If......" which has recieved lots and lots of posts and new members in the past couple of days. Something that could literally slow down Facebook data transfer.

I started posting on it yesterday. About 75% of the memories are of places that either are not around anymore, or I remember and are not around anymore. There are not that many people in the group, which now has over 2,000 members, that are my age. I can only think of one right at my age, and a few just a few years older than I am. So the seven of us have memories that can't really be duplicated by the other couple of thousand or so.

I have lived in Sterling and Rock Falls all of my 25 years on this Earth, and never moved out. This is something that I'm actually proud of. I didn't take the easy way out, by taking the first train out of town right after high school commencement - like several of my classmates have. My first house was an upstairs apartment across the alley from the former Young's Bakery (another store in RF lore). We then moved to a yellow house on East 11th Street in Sterling (on the same block as the Synagogue). Then back to 3rd Avenue in Rock Falls, and then to my present location at 17th Avenue in Sterling - where I've been for the past 14 years. I've been to six schools in a span of 10 years.

Many people "back then" truthfully looked at Sterling and Rock Falls as two seperate cities. Sterling people had little memories of Rock Falls, and vice-versa. Since I spent time in both towns, I look at the whole area as a giant town. This is something that, in a good 20 years, others growing up after me will see. We grew up after the football cease-fire of 1994. Then the two schools became divided even more with the athletic conference setups, which happened after I left high school. I think students from both sides of the river have been getting along more and more.

Currently, there is debate over what to do with the riverfronts of both towns. Those that are making the decisions (the older people) have grown up back in a time when the two towns were "seperate" and wanted nothing to do with each other. Put these decisions in the hands of the current 20- or 30-somethings and perhaps we can come up with an agreement as to how to make this happen. Most of the holdup is over filtering out which city gets what.

Why is there bitterness? My personal story, which I have written on here many times, is unique and not equal to others. However, this is what I can only guess: When we were young, the thought of "hating" the city on the other side of the river did not exist. In other words, it was not born with us. Perhaps it was the parents (both of whom went to the school that their child will have went to) that began to instill this rivalry in them. If it was not the parents, it certainly had to be the high school athletic coaches. I think the backlash over Sterling losing to Rock Falls was far greater than Rock Falls losing to Sterling.

When our economy started to turn bad, with the downfall of NWSW, I think the two cities began to utilize one another more. The kids in my generation began hanging out together. Such things like ICQ, MSN Messenger, MySpace and Facebook really started to bridge the gaps between us DURING high school, and not 15 years afterward. We would interact more within little league baseball and softball. This is the future of the Sterling/Rock Falls area, and with apologies to those 20 years older than me, this is what it's gonna be.

Indeed, the economic downturn has caused a lot of the places mentioned in the S/RF Facebook Group to shutter. As for my generation, we have very little memories of these things.

Before I go on any further, what do I mean by "my generation"? Three years either way of myself: high school graduation classes of 2001-2008. In other words, you graduated from high school during the George W. Bush presidency. In talking with people from my generation, early memory retention doesn't seem to be all that great. Mine, however, is great and has been called so by my peers.

What do we remember of Sterling/Rock Falls prior to 1994? We will be the last generation to remember ...

*Emil's, Eberley's, George Furniture, when KFC was downtown, the Lincoln Tavern and the Kastle. But we remember them more for being destroyed.

*(Not early history, but worth noting) My high school graduating class (2005) was the last to remember the head coaching tenure of Coach Gaumer, before Coach King came in and ushered in the current feel of Sterling HS football we know today. When I graduated, I was the last remnant of the 4-5 varsity team that was outscored 99-0 our final two games of the season. Our logo during our freshman year was actually a warrior head, and not a dreamcatcher with an "S" on it.

*When Route 40 was Route 88.

*The Merrill students of my generation will be the last to remember Lois Dady teaching music, and Ludy Eddinger as a strict substitute teacher. And when the lot where a parking lot is now was big enough for a soccer game (K-2 had lunch recess on the north playground, and 3-5 was on the south playground).

*The flood of 1993 on the Rock River, the last time the river got that high. I still remember driving in my parent's '78 Buick down to the Lower Dam to look at the damage.

*Safety Park, which they tore away in the early-to-mid 90s I believe.

*The International Harvester fire of 1993, a slightly smaller version of the 2004 Mill fire that most of us do remember.

*White Hen Pantry on Locust in Sterling and First Avenue in Rock Falls. Back when they were actually called White Hen. When it was an 8th grade hangout for my graduating class, we still called it White Hen.

*What Ken Nelson looked like. His face and white hair was on the local TV commercials up until around that point.

*When they were called A&W's, and not Big Bopper's. There was still car delivery at that time, where we had to push a red button from our cars to deliver our order.

*When Kilgour Park was nothing more than an open field with hoops and a tennis court.

*The old Dairy Queen on the west side of Sterling, before they rebuilt it. Walked there on a preschool fieldtrip.

*When Supervalue was on its tail end, prompting the call for a new west side supermarket. The end result was County Market.

*Running on the orange grocery bagging shelves at the old Aldi's!!

*What Avenue G bridge looked like before it was rebuilt, it had the thin rails. My mom once said there were many holes on that bridge that looked down toward the river.

*The Glafka's Tire City jingle that sounded like the old MoTown song "The Boy from New York City"

*When circuses were on the empty lot where the Randolph Hotel once stood (West 3rd and Avenue A).

*Jerry Warren's dealership next to the Coliseum.

*Video Discount and Sam Metzler Realty ... Sam is my great-granduncle.

*When that building on the NW corner of East 4th and 12th Avenue in Sterling was actually occupied.

*When there wasn't a stop sign at the intersection of East 5th Street and 13th Avenue in Sterling, next to the Nazerene Church.

*When East End Shell was a few blocks to the west of where it is now, and Billy used to work there.

*Sterling Furniture, Sears (with the dark blue lettering), Realty World, Carpet World, Stars and Stripes Video, Pelican Restaurant, Rax, Ken Nelson by the mall and Wolohan Lumber were on the Eastern business district. And the two farthest places out where the Builder's Discount and Farm and Fleet. And there was no stoplight at 2 and Polo Road.

*Kid Zone! Camelot Music, Woolworth's and its restaurant, Walgreen's, Stuarts, KayBee Toys, the ice cream place whose name I can't recall, and the yellow-colored penny deposit where it whirled like a tornado -- all of which were at Northland Mall. (More people younger than me will remember Blackhawk Arcade and Diamond Dave's).

*The aforementioned Young's Bakery in Rock Falls, corner of West 2nd and 3rd Avenue.

*A Citgo sign and a Sunoco sign at the corner of 1st Avenue and Dixon Avenue in Rock Falls.

*Dairy Dreem, where Adami Insurance is now!

*There was a small dirt path behind the Rock Falls Eagle food store, accessible from the end of Stanley Court and going toward West 10th Street. And how real bad that trail smelled!!

*The Igloo for ice cream and Honky's for ribs in the new Centennial Plaza in Rock Falls. We had Honky's for lunch as we were packing and moving back to Sterling from Rock Falls 14 years ago.

*The black and white Central National Bank logo, with the capital "C" on top of the "NB".

*We called Rheeling's "IGA" because that was the logo we as kids could recognize. That was the last of the true neighborhood supermarkets in Rock Falls. 5th Street Mini Mart was the last of the true neighborhood supermarkets in Sterling, and we could remember that, too. It had a Pepsi logo on top of the sign.

*Dr. Provow's and Dr. Lipinski's office (as well as others) on Dixon Avenue before it was torn down due to roof damage.

*Figuring out our bowling scores using a pencil and paper, while youth bowling on Saturday morning's at Rocket Lanes. Tony Deroste, Larry Thompson, and a guy named Jim were the guys that coordinated the bowling back then.

*Red Carpet Video on Route 30, before Video Village expanded and forced it out of business.

and that's all I can think of right now.

"Me" Party

2011-08-05T03:52:00.004-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.50.80
Current Song - Too Much Heaven (Bee Gees)

I never really liked this group they call the "Tea Party." They're just too far to the right of the politcal spectrum, you know, the Rush Limbaugh side of the chart. Then again, my line of thinking has always been far left. Taking a few Government surveys in high school solidified my position.

My hatred for these teabaggers got worse after reading an article in Friday's SVM regarding the fact that the local Tea Party group demanded that Republican congressman Bobby Schilling (who represents where I live) explain the reason why he voted for this debt ceiling compromise.

I do not believe we elected the local Teepee chair as our congresswoman. This kind of news makes me think of a scene (pictured above) from The Empire Strikes Back: When the Admiral of Vader's flagship goes out of hyperspace too early and is force-choked to death by Vader.

"YOU are now in command, Congressman Piett."

I sense a theme.

Or maybe more like this ...

"Apology accepted, Congressman Needa."

Money Thoughts

2011-08-02T16:35:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.20.80
Current Song - Badge (Cream)

So I'm going over my personal books lately. I didn't do much during the summer, which is a monetary gain of sorts. As of right now I'm preparing for the August costs of the prep sports season.

Among something I need is a digital camera of my own. For the past couple of years I have been borrowing Dan's camera. I'm sure when I'm using it at places, he would have liked to use it for his things. So that's something I'm saving up for. The sports-quality cameras run at just over a hundred dollars. At putting aside 10 dollars a week, it'll be toward the end of the regular football season until I finally get one of my own. Until then, Dan has let me borrow the camera.

If the video process works out well for the website, it won't be long until I'll be needing a second battery to ensure even more video possibilities.

In order to do all of this, I'll have to remain "bare bones," which I think I can do.

ADDITION - 8/4

I have noticed that I've become more energetic than I used to be. I can't quite grasp why, but I think it has to do with getting a haircut. Seems weird, huh?

With this haircut, I have also begun to shave my facial hair more often than I used to. In addition, at work I have to crouch down to the floor to retrieve loose change that I accidentally drop - that used to be a pain, and now that is not a problem. So perhaps I've dropped a few pounds? A few is better than zero.

So what does this have to do with money? I'm thinking about bringing the bicycle back from the abyss that is the garage. Hopefully it will still work well. I think I shelved it due to severe butt pain, even with the gel-padded seat. Using the car more for longer trips could possibly save on oil changes along with the fuel. I don't know, but I think it's worth trying. I want to try to ride to Sterling, Rock Falls and Newman games with the bike as much as I can, in addition to work and errands.

There was a message board weight loss contest that had the slogan "Do More, Eat Less." I feel like "Do More, Earn More, Eat Less, Spend Less."

More Ideas:

*When I do make a trip to a game, I'll have to find a way to have a light dinner along the way back home. Emphasis on the word LIGHT.

*Buy water instead of pop. I will also be utilizing a totebag for all my reporting accessories (and thus retiring the Rock Falls Rockets bag I had been carrying around for years), and there is room for bottled water. A small cha-ching, but considering the number of games covered this is a pretty good idea.

*Make like insurance companies and BUNDLE. Sometimes I would go on far-away errands on days that I didn't have a game to cover. Rather than do that, I think it's easier to bundle things into one trip. For example, I am looking at a new digital camera. If I am interested in one at Best Buy, rather than going to Rockford or Moline and back I'll combine that with a game to cover around there. That being said, I have at least one trip to Rockford and one to Aurora both in August.

*Take my time getting to these places. It is believed that the faster you go, the more gas you are wasting. Most days that I cover a game, I'm not working. I have time to get to the games. But at the same time, I can't go super slow.

**Finally, I think it's important to point out that I'm not in a financial crisis or anything. From the looks of the things that I've written, it seems more like the "Tea Party" and its idea of spending cuts. If you know me, I'm far from these tea baggers. The difference here is that I am not in a financial crisis.

I have money. I have a job, and I like it. But when you cut spending it makes it seem as if you have more money in your name. And more money in your name, well, is really good for you.

Some People You Just Can't Forget

2011-07-24T04:30:00.000-05:00

It's been several years
And they have moved on
But they still linger
Two girls I loved

I loved them, loved them, loved them
They kept my feelings alive
When I was down, they were there
But only just in my mind

Away from me they are
Want no more of me
But I won't forget
Two girls I loved

Getting Back on Track

2011-07-18T00:53:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.81.70
Current Song - Jazzman (Carole King)

After feeling down the past couple of days, I'm trying to work my way back up to feeling alright.

I decided to plan a drive along the county on Saturday morning. I figured it would keep me off of being worried somewhat. I looked at an 1872 county map and noticed all of the schools dotted. So I wanted to find these schools (if they were still up) and take pictures of them.

I think I have now been on every road in Whiteside County. I traveled the northern section before feeling tired from all of the driving. Most of what I found were either not there anymore, or fully converted into houses with additions to make them look unrecognizable. One near the flood plain near Fulton is now a little farm garage.

Probably the one that I was in awe of was one that lay in absolute ruins. It is on the corner of Capp and Lake Roads just north of Rockwood Park. The chimney is barely standing, and all the wood is piled on the ground and rotting. It lies in a bunch of overgrown weeds. I'm not sure what this school is called.

After telling my brother during dinner about what I was doing all of the morning, I got sick all of a sudden. It was bad enough where I couldn't sleep and was trying to fight it off.

The sickness necessitated only the second call-off from work in the three years I have been there. After perfect attendance in 2010, there will be no such honor for 2011. But I just couldn't work in the given condition. Even worse is the amount of money I DIDN'T make today. That's when it hits you. But I just couldn't work in it.

At this time (Monday, 1:30 a.m.) I feel alright. I go back to work at 5:00 p.m. When I get home, I'll probably start on getting the sleep cycle back on track.

Where Did I Go Wrong?

2011-07-15T04:20:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.51.70
Current Song - Spooky (Atlanta Rhythm Section)

I've been spending a great deal of time sitting in my computer chair in front of the computer. When I'm not staring at the screen, I'm staring into open space. Pondering about a few things related to why I'm at where I'm at today in regards to a certain aspect of life ... love.

Recently, it hit me that it has almost been 20 years since I first started realizing the whole difference between friendships between boys and girls. In other words, the first girl I "liked" was nearly 20 years ago.

Over the past 20 years, I estimated that I had crushes on at least 25 different girls. (No "Cutter Report" naming names is planned to come out).

I have come close twice toward establishing an official "going out" type of relationship. Once (7th grade) was the first - and to date the only time - I had the courage to ask a girl out (on a phone, of course). The other (freshman year) was something I wasn't quite ready for, and I kind of figured out it was nothing more than a diversion.

So I took some hours to think about my entire life history involving girls, and wondered where I went wrong. Why was I unable to establish such relationships? Why am I 25 years old and still unable to get a girlfriend?

***

Should I have not been a sissy and called a certain girl on the phone, especially when my best friend was pressuring me to do so?

Should I have completely abandoned the friendships I had established in Rock Falls before moving to Sterling for 5th grade? Did this possibly hinder efforts to have a very good 5th grade year?

Should I have been a little more kinder to that one girl who was "kind" to me? Furthermore, should I have completely ignored the slightest possibility that this was a diversion of sorts from the girl I actually liked?

Should I not have written my thoughts down in a little "coca-cola" book that was locked?

Should I have rode my bike elsewhere when I was feeling down?

Should I have done more than just sit there at the corner of the wall at recess time in middle school?

Should I have not written locker-hole notes to a certain girl?

Should I have not published a certain weekly rating list?

Should I have not tagged along behind the crowd, rather than just ignoring it?

Should I have not stuck up for a friend when a girl gave him a phony phone number (that I knew was phony after he revealed it to me)?

Should I have not found out who someone was without asking her first?

Should I have not made a fool of myself when trying out for the Talent Show?

Should I have just skipped that volleyball game out in the boondocks?

Should I have just been at peace with the fact that I just wasn't invited to a joint birthday party that it seemed like everyone else was invited to?

Should I have done more than bring her flowers?

Should I have learned slow dancing before actually doing it?

Should I have not made a (different) publication regarding jokes about a kid?

Should I have altered class-to-class paths?

(Now we hit high school)

Was that trip to Chicago for a softball game really worth it?

"Hody" (rhymes with butter)?

Should I have just stayed in Sterling?

Should I have just ignored SHS and followed RFHS all throughout high school?

Should I have made a move while managing? (On second thought, no, because it would have absolutely wrecked my life)

Should I have not played hookie?

Should I have known how to use ICQ before actually installing it?

Should I have done more than just ICQ chats and phone calls?

Should I have prepared for a certain meeting?

Should I have not gone on the legendary bike ride?

Should I have not made a cameo appearance at a certain place early in the morning?

Should I have made constant reminders about a "promise" that I would take somebody to prom? (Probably another diversion)

Should I have completely ignored a bus conversation between someone who told me he had a crush on someone?

Should I have seriously considered an offer to reside in an "extra bedroom" at someone's house?

Should I have kept my keypad untouched in a specific message board post?

Should I have asked that my assignments be a little more spread out than what they ended up being?

Should I have not quoted a certain someone out-of-order?

Should I have counted the number of championship rings a little more accurately?

Should I have stayed local during my senior year, rather than traveling all over creation to write game stories?

Should I have behaved a little better while driving back from a football game at Ottawa?

Should I have not tried out a photo angle from the floor?

(Now we hit college)

Should I have given more writing advice to certain people?

Should I have been a little more open in asking for help in a certain class?

(Now we hit the present time)

Should I be moving around a little bit more?

Can't Sleep

2011-07-07T09:52:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.70.70
Current Song - Sign Your Name (Terence Trent D'Arby)

It's become apparent to me that I can't sleep at night without something reminding me about the unsuccessful attempts at figuring out what love is.

Not too long ago, it came to me that I am not going to be able to look back at high school for a small ember that still exists. That has burned out. All of those girls from back then, there's no point to it now.

From this day on, I guess I'll have to look forward and not back to find someone. I have an extensive past, but an unclear future with not too many women around. I'm not angry, just kind of dissapointed.

More than just a customer

2011-07-06T00:08:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.60.70

Working for Fourth of July night, I kind of dread this day because of the rush that comes with it. Despite Dixon's fireworks going on, there wasn't much of one. But that didn't make me have a good day.

That day I found out that one of my beloved regular customers passed away. Dorothy, and her husband Bill, were frequent customers at the Shell station for the past three years. They sat at the tables, had coffee, scratched off lotto tickets, and played the Pick 3 and Pick 4 every night.

Dorothy was 85 and had been suffering from Alzheimer's Disease for the past couple of months.

They made an effort to come and play lotto every night that either Billy or I worked. They had been playing the Pick 3 every night for over 30 years, and are what I call die-hard lottery players. They were more than just that, though. Over time, they became good friends of mine, Joe's, Dave's, and a few others. Wherever he was, she was. Wherever she was, he was.

A couple of months ago her condition began to settle in, and she had to be in a nursing home. That's the last time I saw her and Bill.

Three or four nights a week for nearly three years, Dorothy and Bill had been a part of my life. Now she is gone. All of us at the nightshift will miss her.

Riverfronts (III)

2011-06-29T15:23:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.92.60
Current Song - Misunderstanding (Genesis)

Riverfronts III

I have decided to make some edits to the last entry. We'll save the taller part of the Lawrence Bros. Building, but tear the rest of it down. Then instead of a riverfront walkway going over First Avenue, it'll go under First Avenue and also under both the LB Building and the National office complex.

Secondly, my original plan had a bit too much greenspace in the former NWSW property. I'm more into going by the preference on Page 65 of the Riverfront Redevelopment Plan.

http://www.hlplanning.com/dnn/Documents/tabid/1169/Default.aspx

However, there are a few changes I'd like seen.

Here's another list of things, to to follow what I'm saying, go to the map on Page 65 of the Plan.

1. Only tear down all except the five-story part of Lawrence Brothers.

2. Keep the National building on the corner of First and Wallace. Tear the rest of the buildings down.

3. Avenue C ends at "Depot Blvd", and that extends to Avenue E.

Everything else from my last entry remains the same.

*******

In the last entry, I created my vision of a new Sterling riverfront, but I wanted to exceed the boundaries of the actual study. I did this because I didn't think it would look athstetically pleasing to have the sides of it bounded by something radically different.

The more I look at the published plan, it seems as if the full area is exactly that which I laid out in the last blog entry.

I think we have to keep in mind that the more concentration we put into the development of this new place, the less concentration we will be putting on the downtown that we already have. How can we say that we don't want empty buildings when we would be creating, in essence, soon-to-be-empty buildings?

Plus, keep in mind that Rock Falls has their own seperate plan. We can't take away from that. I'll be listing some ideas in the next couple of paragraphs. Whatever can't be used by Sterling, can be used by Rock Falls (and vice-versa) [LINK TO RF RIVERFRONT BLOG]

A reader suggested to me that it would be a good idea if the new concept found a way to create more jobs in the area. Now that I think of it, I agree.

Before I do that, we have to figure out what this city needs. I ask myself the question, what do we go to Rockford and the Quads, and even LaSalle-Peru (!!!) for?

*New City Hall
*Arcade
*Public pool
*Hotel
*Bookstore (Borders/B&N)
*Boat Launch
*Skating
*Passenger rail (may come after all of this is complete)
*Hobby shop (or Hobby Lobby)
*VA Clinic
*Toy store?
*Outlet clothing (Gordmans/TJ Maxx)
*Ice Cream
*Banquet Center
*A Sonic drive-in
*Sporting goods
*Buffet
*Not a casino, but off-track betting
*Jimmy Johns
*Dave & Busters

I'll leave it at here for now. Any other ideas?

Riverfronts (Part II)

2011-06-25T08:19:00.008-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.52.60
Current Song - Couldn't Get it Right (Climax Blues Band)

The picture above is from the 1950s. The main drag to the left is Locust Street, and the one to the right is First Avenue. It's easy to point out the buildings that are not standing anymore, if you're from the area. Looks a lot different, huh? (Click the picture to expand it)

Way back in September, I wrote an entry about what I think would be a good idea for the Propsed Rock Falls Riverfront. I never got around to thinking about what to do with Sterling's.

In Friday's edition of the Gazette there was an article about talk of what to do with Sterling's side.

I haven't read the entire preliminary plan (which may end up being more of a preliminary preliminary preliminary preliminary plan), so here are a few things I'd like to thow out there. All of this is simply imagination - with no real thinking behind it. So yeah, perhaps none of this could possibly happen. Note that my ideas extend outside the boundaries in the study. I will later clarify my ideas to reflect that of the study boundaries. But for now, this is more of a long-term solution.

1. Tear down the entire Lawrence Brothers complex, EXCEPT the large brick smokestack. Use that as a permanant reminder of what the building used to be, and make it a part of a series of plaques regarding manufacturing in Sterling. (This will be called the "old Lawrence property" in future reference.)

2. Save the concrete railroad bridge wall from the old CB&Q (the railroad was taken out in the early 1980s). Use this as a bench, shelter or gazebo area. Put another plaque there regarding the history of that railroad.

3. Tear down the entire Bogott complex. Just saying. It is an eyesore. Nothing to save here.

4. Build an underpass so that the East side of Wallace Street (a two-lane road)connects with 4th Avenue. Make East Wallace Street an uphill-downhill road with the peak being at the halfway point between the two underpasses. At peak, build a small parking lot. The rest of the Lawrence property converts to parkland. At night, this should give a good view of a completed Rock Falls riverfront.

5. There's going to have to be a floodwall of some sort between the First Avenue Bridge and the old CB&Q wall. The current building acts as a riverwall. When tearing down the building, retain the wall.

6. Sterling has always considered moving out of the Coliseum. Build a new, larger, City Hall complex on the old Bogott property. Also put up a Bogott plaque there.

7. The Coliseum is still kept intact. What's bothering it is the constant cramming of space by the city. Sterling/Rock Falls Historical Society moves into it (or back into it, this having been the original home until moved to the Dillon Grounds). The Coliseum arena itself is still used for it usual events, or perhaps renovated to create more space.

8. Fill current empty downtown space before building new structures for business. This will prevent the downtown area from crumbling due to this newer plan.

Empty downtown space currently includes:
*Old Haskell's/Detweiler's Train building
*Old King's Den/Abiding Word
*Old Hart's Jewelry
*Old Herbal Essences/record store (can't remember the name)
*Old telephone building
*Theatre
*Old Bohse carpet complex
*Raynor

(Not sure what is taking up the upper levels of the Lawrence Building where the Court is, also not sure about the old "One-Eighty" club)

The city's youth has been yearning for an arcade since the one at the mall closed years ago. Put one somewhere. Something like Peoria's "inPlay".

9. Currently Second Avenue is a boulevard from 4th Street down. After 2nd Street, divide it up into smaller, one-way drives in a oval pattern. Tree up the area heavily. As to what to put in the middle of it, how about a fountain? Tear down the old gas station/tatoo parlor to make room.

10. Keep the Plainwell building (old Kroger's). Just tidy up the rear.

11. Fix up the stairway along First Avenue.

12. Build a pedestrian bridge over the railroad (curled ramps on both sides, and design it to look appealing). Connect this path with the path along the riverwall.

13. Any planned pedestrian walkway with the new First Avenue bridge should connect with the old Lawrence Property, with a smaller sidewalk merging out toward the First-Wallace intersection.

14. Likewise, build an arching ped bridge over First Avenue to lead out to the railroad spare line right in front of the old National building. This will lead to a complicated stoplight arrangement, but more warning on both ends in the form of a stoplight traffic sign with amber lights should do it.

15. Call the new First Avenue Bridge the "Sterling-Rock Falls Manufacturing Worker's Bridge" - in tribute to all of the people that have worked at Reliant, Eureka, Parrish-Alford, NWSW, National and Lawrence Brothers all these years.

16. There isn't too much space between the railroad tracks and the river between Fourth Avenue and Eighth Avenue, but an extension of the riverwalk would suffice. There is plenty of space between track and river from Eighth Avenue to Martin's Landing.

(Now we cross First Avenue)

17. It seems like a popular entry to the equation is putting a hotel somewhere. However, how do you put a hotel next to train tracks, especially when trains are going to move at 60 miles per hour and toot their whistles? Same thing with performing arts. Don't we already have performing arts centers?

18. Keep National's smokestack. Same idea as #1.

19. High-rise condos in the closest two buildings of the National Complex. Tear the middle building down, and that blue building also. (I'm not sure of the status, but if the stucco wall on the NE building is nothing more than a dummy wall, then take it down to reveal the bricks). The Benson-Bittorf, or the Bittorf-Benson.

20. The western-most big building of the National Complex is too large to tear down, but does make for a good office building once the industrial stuff is removed.

21. Replace the middle National building with a dual parking garage, for both ideas above.

22. Have that winding river walkway weave through either side of the parking garage, joining the river wall in front of the office building in #20.

23. Paint the river wall white. It currently has a lot of mildew on it.

24. Green the entire length of the space between the railroad and Wallace along the old National Complex. Meaning the shortline rail is removed.

25. Green the old parking lot where the old C-NW train station used to be.

26. Tear down the larger half of the northern National building (the one on the other side of the tracks), as well as the Produce building and the green-colored buildings at the end of Avenue A and put in a convention center. Parking for the center is across Avenue A on the south side of 2nd Street.

27. Clean up the back of the Masonic building, and the one attached to it. Make it look LESS like the Led Zeppelin album cover.

28. Convert the Bohse flooring building to apartments. Boulevard 2nd Street from avenues C to the Chamber building and make the upper alley level the parking lot for these apartments.

29. Rename West Second Street to Depot Blvd.

30. Leave the Union Pacific building up.

(Now we're past National, and onto the biggest void of them all)

31. Extend Avenues A and C past the tracks (at-grade crossings) and connect them south of Wallace with an extension of Avenue B - which extends further to connect with Bass Street (wait, where?).

32. SSC can have their parking lot, and their easternmost property, which ends at Bass Street But the land bounded east of the Avenue G bridge, north of the SSC property, south of the tracks and west of Bass Street needs to be completely removed.

33. Wallace Street curves right and climbs up to create an at-grade bridge intersection with Avenue G. This will create a western gateway to the new redeveloped area between G and Pike Street. This redeveloped area will be called Miller's Row (Miller Street got it's name from the old Sterling Distillery located there - and at one time was the second-largest one in the USA)

34. Miller Street is rerouted just a little north of its current path, from Bass Street going west to a curve-up to Wallace.

35. Pike Street and Avenue E connect, with an at-grade rail crossing.

36. THE PARK -
East: West End of National Complex
South: River
North: Where Avenue C curves around to meet Avenue A, and then Bass Street and its extension.

37. Something has to be put in place in order to transition the image from SSC to the park between these two.

NEXT UP - The plans using the actual study boundaries this time.

Things are going great

2011-06-23T09:37:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.32.60
Current Song - My Life (Billy Joel)

I guess part of the reason why I haven't written on here in quite a while is because everything is going quite alright for me right now. I honestly can't remember the last time I had a bad day. When that happens, you know things are okay.

Summer Begins

2011-06-18T00:00:00.001-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.81.60
Current Song - The Zoo (The Scorpions)

My spring sports season has come to a close. The closing was one for the ages. Now the real fun begins.

As I have mentioned before on here, I won't be taking any interesting summer trips. I have a couple of months to concentrate on how to save money and invest less. Plus, the hours at work have kind of increased - four days a week with no sports conflicts in my way. Plus, I'm back in fill-in mode for a couple of stations, since I'm not doing anything else.

I've got several housekeeping things that are website-related on the summer docket. Plus a few small things to write.

If this blog was dead during the spring, it'll probably be as dead in the summer.

Before I clear all of this out, this is all I can alott for writing.

More Money Thinking

2011-05-25T15:35:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

One night on an errand run, I simply made the shorter trip to Kmart rather than Wal-Mart. All it was for was Raid. I was coerced into signing up for the Rewards program. "It's free." At the spur of the moment, I decided what the heck.

Kmart's program in a nutshell: Earn 10 points for each $1 spent, 1,000 points earned is $1 toward a purchase (if desired).

As with the case with such store cards, I think to myself am I really going to use this? Should I switch from Wal-Mart to Kmart because of this card? To find out, I had to do a little price comparing with the things I usually get.

Water - I bought a case of 35 20oz. bottles at WM for $3.50. At K the special offer is 2-for-$7. I'm not even halfway through my current case of water, having bought it two weeks ago. Buying an extra case doesn't take up all that much space in my room, but it is an extra $3.50 on the shopping trip. I think the two-for deal is worth it, if it is still on special. Also meaning 70 rewards points.

Clothes/shoes - I have found that K has more clothes that fit me than WM does, and the prices are about the same as WM. Plus rewards points.

Cans of pop - A six-pack of the cheapo stuff at K is $1.49. Not sure on the WM price, but they did have a four-pack of Barqs on special for $1. Yesterday the mail brought me the County Market flyer - a six-pack of Super Chill cans of pop was only $0.88. It's taken me a day to drink it all. This isn't going to happen again, the special I mean. Then again, the pop may not even happen - don't I have water?

Other than that, most every other thing I normally get is cheaper at WM. So it's just a matter of getting things that K can't control the price of. Greeting cards, magazines, packs of baseball cards, small packs of gum, and others. The rewards add up (and rewards is something WM doesn't have), and the distance is shorter.

Another thing I did was change insurance plans. That saved half a monthly payment! Just can't get into any trouble = Extra effort to be careful.

Summer Plans

2011-05-25T00:18:00.004-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.52.50
Current Song - American Boy (Kanye West/Estelle)

Dan's last day of school was a few days ago. Twenty years ago I was the first of the boys to attend school. If our family's life went by chapters, this would be the start of a new one.

As for yours truly, I find myself stuck in a muck of sorts. I'm hoping to get some sort of inspiration today. Busy day today. It's the wee hours of the morning, so I'll sleep in a little bit. Some errands, website work, and dinner with the grandparents.

Dan's graduation open house is on Sunday, and it's unfortunate that I have to work during it. But I'll visit in the couple of hours before. I'm working quite a few hours this week; 39 to be exact. I'll be around 31-32 next week, which is an improvement from the past couple of weeks. That will be good considering that the couple of weekends after this coming one will be hardball State Tournaments.

I'll need all the money I can get for the coming three weeks. After that, it'll be the end of the high school sports year. Hibernation mode for NISB? Don't count on it. I have something special planned. You'll have to wait until the State of the Site Address to find out what it is.

So during the summer I will still have some website work. That's coupled in with MLB Draft coverage, enrollment/classification coverage, and the usual publisher duties. But that's not all of my summer.

Since I won't be traveling to many places to cover games, I won't have the traditional "off days" from work that are reserved for sports (these are Tuesdays and Fridays). So I plan on working a little more often. Plus, I plan on re-restblishing the fill-in plan to some of the other stations. I put this on hold a few months ago because things were so busy.

To further armor myself for the upcoming school year, I have decided to make a couple of more changes to my usual summer stuff. Usually I will dedicate a couple of days for Illinois High School Glory Days expeditions. Won't do that this year; but it is because we're in a fine position at the moment with not a whole lot of general research to do. General research is compared to the personal research that is done by those connected to the schools, whereas I am nothing more than an outside historian. Plus, no long trips to places for fun or shopping with my own gas money. This may seem boring - but when you look at how much money you have saved after it, that is fun enough.

Can't wait for summer!

I'll Get You Gadget ...

2011-05-15T18:52:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.51.50
Current Song - read on

I seem to be in a groove as of late, involving one of my favorite cartoon shows as a kid.

What facinated me as a kid about Inspector Gadget were the weird gadgets he would use (and sometimes screw up on). I'll also admit that one of my fictional crushes as a kid was on Penny Gadget. I was between four and seven years old. Also a factor was the suspicion behind that of the enemy Dr. Claw - that deep voice and spooky setting.

The background music, which is something kids like me at the time normally wouldn't pay attention to, remained the lasting memory after Nickeoldeon stopped showing reruns. The music repeated itself like a soundtrack, and changed with the scenes.

Eventually as reruns stopped in the U.S., the memory of Inspector Gadget would be buried in the back of my head. Small reminders would pop up at times, but nothing major to warrant a full rehash. The most notable Inspector Gadget connection I would make through the years was my Dr. Claw impersonation. When I was in school, I found out that I could try to talk like other people. So I tried as many as possible. Your voice changes throughout adolsecence. A lot of voices I did then I can't do now. But one constant, and that which I consider my best, is that of Dr. Claw. The villan is voiced in the series by the master of voices Frank Welker.

As my recent influx of conversation continues to grow, this Dr. Claw impersonation seems to come up more often. I catch myself doing it at times. One day I felt like I wasn't getting the "next" right in "I'll get you Gadget, next time!" So for a voice reference, I searched YouTube.

YouTune can be addicting, especially when it brings back childhood memories. This trip up the Dr. Claw voice search turned out to be a session of watching full episodes, remixes and foreign language versions. That turned into searching for Dr. Claw's face (existant only on an action figure).

I didn't laugh as much this time (because I'm 25), but there were stil some odd scenes that caught my attention. I also researched the series, to be dissapointed that there was no true ending to the series (it was canceled).

My favorite episode was the "Clockmaker" one, where Gadget tries to find stolen gold. The swiss clockmaker was assigned to harden the gold into gears for the clock, and then send them to Dr. Claw. The clockmaker also gave Gadget a watch that set off his gadgets at random times. This was a bit difficult for Gadget to overcome. Penny was captured and put under a giant hammer that was supposed to strike at 5:00. This was probably the hardest Gadget adventure I remember seeing - and it ended up being a critical goof on the clockmaker's part that led to his own demise (and not Penny saving the day).

I also didn't care much for Corporal Capeman.

The more episodes I re-visited, I took notice of the background music. All of these music appreciation classes kind of pay off here. There is one of Dr. Claw's that I liked. Dr. Claw had two themes, and the one I'm refering to is his darkest - the one with the drum-tapping and synthesizer effects. I can't find the tune stand-alone.

That particular tune would go well with the kind of inside "office hours" work I do with the website. I'll end it here.

Awful Couple of Days

2011-05-10T21:59:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.01.50
Current Song - Look Out (guess the TV show)

When I got back from Minnesota, I had a very good string of days. I knew sometime it had to come to an end.

On Saturday night, I had an odd relevation about a website matter. So that kind of bogged me down. I was working that night, and had to work again on Sunday morning at 10.

I woke up late because I accidentally set my alarm to "radio" instead of "alarm." The radio was turned down, but yet the set time had passed. What woke me up was the call from work. Then I got to my car. My glove compartment was open, my middle compartment was too. My visors were too. I had left my car unlocked, and my checkbook in it.

May whoever did this dispicable act have their insides rot to fine dust.

So after getting things straight once more, I am feeling alright at the moment. However, it is very hot outside. Usually the first hot day of the year is one I can't bear. Luckilly there was nothing NISB-worthy to cover, so I had a day off.

Breakfast with the grandparents on Wednesday morning, followed by work later in the day. Galena (River Ridge) Track Sectional on Thursday. Rock Falls at Morrison Baseball on Friday, and Amboy at Polo/Forreston Softball on Saturday afternoon.

How 9/11 Changed My Life

2011-05-03T01:27:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.30.50
Current Song - Love Is (Herb Alpert)

Current event thoughts, from the abnormal brain:

Like most Americans, I remember where I was when I heard the news of the attacks on 9/11/01.

Technically, the planes hit during my freshman Humanities block. While I was in my English class part of it, the plans hit, but the class didn't know about it at the time. When we moved to our World History part of the block, Mr. Walton already had the radio on ABC News. There I was, three seats from the first row in Room 225.

Mr. Walton had the radio play all class, and thus the normal curriculum was put on hold. The same thing for Mr. Brown's health class the next period. During that class, an announcement was made that our Auditorium would be open for showing of news coverage until a certain time.

I didn't have any stunned looks on my face. My first reaction to hearing that the attacks were of a terrorist nature was a simple "whoa." I didn't cry, wave a flag, or anything like that. My thought process was: now the US is going to find the guys responsible, and have something similar to the Nuremberg Trials. A war may happen, too.

When I made my way to the auditorium, I noticed others were also going down. I wasn't doing well in health class, or next period's Spanish class also. The news reports kind of made it sound like the prelude to the Spanish-American War. Okay, we're going to have another Spanish-American War, but with the country that did this.

To those who have read all of this so far, it may seem as if I have no soul. I'm simply recalling my thoughts of the day. The reason I didn't get sad or anything was because it didn't effect Cody Cutter personally. So after sitting through all of the reactions, I began to wonder for a minute why my reactions were not the same as those persons on television.

I think my reactions were missing because I didn't want to feel weak at the moment. I wanted to keep my head up and move on to justice. Sure, I acknowledged the horrors and the losses, but I didn't want that to change my life. I didn't want any outside force to change my life.

When we saw the video glimpse of a man with a turban and long beard (at the news reports in the Auditorium), "Is that the guy that did it?" was heard. No, I'm not going to let that guy throw me off-balance.

While everyone else was thrown off-balance with the news, I clung on to my axis and didn't move.

I wanted to remain strong, and still be able to think "oh my goodness" a little bit. With the news of Osama Bin Laden's death, and seeing the throngs of crowds everywhere, I began to think back at my inital reaction to 9/11. I didn't feel a thing then, and I didn't feel a thing on Sunday night.

But as the recent news events went on, it made me wonder about who I was and why I am who I am.

Since I didn't have a reaction to 9/11, my mindset from that Tuesday morning on remained a pre-9/11 mindset. My current mindset is still pre-9/11. I was wondering why all these people were acting the way they were. I began to become more curious about why people think and act the way they do. At first I thought this was a growing-up process, but the more I think about it perhaps 9/11 made me think more psychologically about people.

Because I had no reaction to 9/11, people looked at me real differently (moreso than usual). Here I am, looking from the outside into the post-9/11 mindset that is around all of you.

A crime? With this mental "condition" of mine, am I guilty?

So What Have I Been Doing Since MN?

2011-05-02T15:15:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.20.50
Current Song - That Girl (Stevie Wonder)

Since coming back from Minnesota, I had a lot of things happen to me. But I wanted to write about my trip before writing about these other things. Many "blog drafts" were written when I got back, and even in-between writing about the Trip.

Unable to write more, and find the time to do it, I condensed things and put them here.

***

My friend Dorothy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease while I was gone. Her and husband Bill are nightly regulars at the Shell station; playing their lotto, drinking coffee and visiting with either me, Billy or the other pair of regulars Joe and Brenda. So things really don't feel all that well while working nights.

I have a new lotto ticket theory. Play the oldest games. I'm not fond of this new "Cash for Life" deal that's going on. Sure, you may win on more spaces, but for a $2 ticket, you could have two winning spaces of $1 each. This never used to happen with past $2 tickets. They only want you to play more. Mind you, the lottery is run by the State.

Knothing but Knick-Knacks Rummage Sale: Friday, May 6 and Saturday, May 7. Times are 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

I had a planned column for the overuse of baseball statistics, and the over-emphasis on the scoring process for its games. Baseball and softball are simple games with no need for abundant stats. The offense tries to hit the ball with a bat and try to run around a diamond-shape path. The defense tries to prevent the ball from being hit, and prevent the diamond-circuit from closing. That is hardball. I could care less about "6-2-4 putout," "defensive indifference," "RISP, GIDP, K/9, etc." It's like some people rely on the Elias Sports Bureau to create a leaderboard so that any joe or jane can top it. Oooohh, that's looks good for a college scholarship! Bull.

On my first soccer game back from the trip, I got a little sunburn. Actually, no, I got windburn. Standing outside for two hours in a soccer match with 25 mile-per-hour wind can do this to you, apparently. So for the next week I had to put up with customers wondering "oh, my God," and try to mechanically figure out in their heads how this happened (staring). Not putting on sunscreen has been a bad habit of mine. So I wrote a note that I taped to my rear-view mirror, "Did you remember sunscreen?!?!"

In trying to save money on things, one night I went to Wal-Mart to shop for things. On this list was a gas can for my trunk, envelopes, mints, AAA batteries, a spare phone charger, and a couple of rummage sale signs. I ended up just getting the batteries and a piece of large posterboard. The gas can was eliminated after thinking about it for a few seconds (I really don't need it), the envelopes and mints were on sale somewhere else, the phone charger (which was going to be used for travel) was eliminated because I could just use the one I have, and the rummage sale signs were axed in favor of the posterboard.

This will be the first of what will be many for the years to come, all six of our family members came together for dinner at Candlelight Inn in Sterling. Here's to more of these.

I turned 25 on April 28, quietly. No work, no games, nothing. Presents, of course.

April showers bring May flowers, and real angry sportswriters.

An addend to my vacation week came on the Sunday after I got home. My mom, her mom and sister and I visited the Titanic exhibit at the Putnam Museum. I had seen it once before, about 12 years ago at the Museum of Science and Industry. It was good to see all of it once more, because I had forgotten. But my mom, who's a big Titanic fanatic, remembered every bit of it.

I had a weird feeling that if I saw more weddings, I would know more about true love. So I watched the entire wedding of Prince William and Princess Catherine.

Minnesota - The Vacation (Day 4)

2011-04-27T00:50:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.72.40
Current Song - It's My Life (No Doubt)

Note: I've been back since April 7, and it is now April 27. Of the 20 days since I came back home, a lot has happened. Thus the delay. Plus, I didn't write while on the vacation (compared to last year) simply because there was too much to do.

There are pictures of the trip on my Facebook photo album.

Because of the numerous things I saw, I had to break the entry down into four days. The previous entries broke down days 1, 2 and 3. This entry recalls Day 4, the final day of the vacaction.

Since I got a late ending to the previous day, I eventually work up later than planned. I couldn't change that, but I had to tweak some plans a little. I knew, however, that on the way there I had some time to spare from where I left in in Hastings on Day 1. I figured I had enough time to get back to Dubuque before dusk. But I still had the entire east side of the Twin Cities to see, and then all of Wisconsin.

I woke up at 9:30 a.m. and immediately prepared for departure, and checking out of the hotel. I got four cents off a gallon at the BP, and was given a coupon for five cents off on my next trip. There is no next trip. I still have the coupon, just in case. I decided to start where I-494 met the river on the east side. Doing so meant I had to cross the River on the new I-35W bridge. So yeah, I crossed it.

The road along the east side of the river was called East River Parkway. There was a park where the road intersected with 494, where I stopped for a while. Then began the journey down this East River Parkway through the Twin Cities.

To my amazement, it was pretty much the same experience as the drive along West River Parkway. Like the opposite site, there is a jogging path next to the road, and I had never seen that many joggers. I once again briefly thought to myself that I was the largest person within the city limits. Next to the jogging path was a wall of trees and shrubbery, so I couldn't really see water unless it was a park of some sort. But the houses were great. The south side of St. Paul seemed to have more scenic overlooks than Minneapolis, because the land is so high up. There was one overlook that gave a spectacular view of the downtown area. Not only did I see downtown, but the large bluff that I was on a couple of days earlier, as well as the state capitol building.

Because there was no split of the river, like on the other side, this East River Parkway was very straightforward, with the small exception of downtown. The west side had a split, where the mouth of the Minnesota River was, and it was difficult to navigate. But there were no problems on this day.

I actually didn't cross into Wisconsin from the east side of the river due to a missed turn, but joined Wisconsin at Red Wing. Little did I know there would be a lot more stops along this path than Iowa's. The Wisconsin "Great River Road" was Route 35, which was familiar to be because that route ends at East Dubuque. At least I knew I wasn't going to veer off too much!

Take someone down Illinois Route 2 between Grand Detour and Rockford, and they'll like it. I've been down it so many times not to even think about it anymore. But Wisconsin Route 35 has Illinois Route 2's number when it comes to scenery. It follows the river more than the Iowa/Minnesota side, and there are literally hundreds of bluffs.

Each town - Bay City, Stockholm, Nelson, Buffalo was more of the same. They are tiny towns that area stretched out. When you enter a town - lucky enough to after seeing bluff after bluff after bluff, and taking pictures of them while driving - you see a sign telling you the name of the town, and the town's population. These towns had small populations, and normally they do not take long to drive through. These towns are so stretched out, you begin to wonder when the end of town is.

The best thing about these towns is that they are in their own little holes. There's nothing visable north, south, east, or even west (except the River). It's an own little world. Pepin is between Stockholm and Nelson, and wasn't really typical of the other towns. It was much larger, and was popular because Laura Ingalls Wilder was born there.

You can't really put the descriptions into words, and really have to drive down Route 35 to get a feeling of it.

Wisconsin has so many historical markers. It seemed as if there was one every five miles. Any minor bit of history was marked. Not too long after entering Wisconsin there was a historical marker telling about a natural feature called "Bow and Arrow." It was a rock formation along the bluff that was discovered about 100 years ago, with its origins unknown. The next marker I stopped at was the site of Fort St. Antoine (1686), where an explorer claimed "the entire region west of the Great Lakes 'no matter how remote' in the name of Louis XIV." (The long-reigning, and final, King of France).

Along the way down was a Sugar Loaf Rock sighting. That rock is in Winona, MN and is featured in Day 1's entry.

Next up in the long and winding road of spectacular bluffs that is Route 35 was the Trempealeau National Wildlife Refuge. However, much of it was closed due to flooding. Not too far from that, however, was the Trempealeau State Park. Along the way in, I saw a sign that charged for entry. I thought being charged at Lake Itasca was enough, so I didn't visit the park. Now I wish I would have.

After Trempealeau National Wildlife Refuge and Trempealeau State Park, it only made sense that the next town was called Trempealeau. I was getting hungry for some lunch, and found a perfect spot - that "restaurant" I wanted to eat at. It's called the Trempealeau Hotel Restaurant and Saloon. Their specialty is the Walnut Burger, and I wanted to try it before I noticed it had onions in them (I'm not a fan of onions). So a BBQ burger (good) had to do. I sat with a view of the River from a porch-like eating area. The place is nice, and literally hasn't changed since the saloon days. The hotel is on the second floor. Not too many places like this are still around. These particular hotel rooms are European style, with a shared bath and no electronics. $40-49 a night. I could go for that in the summer, because I don't really need a television and I have a cell phone. Plus the eating establishment is downstairs. I'd go back there again.

Next up in the long and winding road of spectacular bluffs is a suburb of LaCrosse called Onalaska. It's directly across from the man-made islands for the birds that I visited in Day 1. The River spills into a lake, with the river channel kind of pushed back toward the Minnesota side.

Natrually the next city is LaCrosse. I had been in LaCrosse once before, on my way back from the Spam Museum (this is true) in Austin, MN. I saw another restaurant that looked neat, but unfortunately I had already eaten. Downtown LaCrosse is very nice, and old. That makes it nice. Plus it has a nice riverfront park where the river can be seen from eye-to-eye. Among other sights was the world's largest 6-pack of beer. Boots and beer. Boots at Red Wing, and Beer at LaCrosse. This part of Wisconsin is known for its breweries, and this carries on to Milwaukee (home of the Brewers, which were formerly called the Cream Citys).

I fueled up the car in LaCrosse. The fuel was from a Kwik Trip, which also owns the station in Kellogg, MN (where I filled up on Day 1). By the time I got home, I had only burned a third of a tank (500 miles). Seems pretty good. That would get me home, but not before some more stops along the way. The first stop out of LaCrosse was Goose Island (no brewery there), probably so-named because the island looks like a goose. The road to get there was winding, like a goose's neck.

To give a good understanding of how plentiful Wisconsin's historical markers are, the first one outside of LaCrosse was about the "LaCrosse Boiling Water Reactor," which is the state's first nuclear power plant.

The area between LaCrosse and Prairie du Chien is noted for the Battle of Bad Axe, which is a landmark battle of the Black Hawk War. That was the battle where Black Hawk was captured, and thus ending the War. By the time I was done seeing the many historical markers revolving around the site, it had started to get a little dark outside.

When I got to Prairie du Chien, the camera was used for the final time. It couldn't take any good pictures at night, so I have no visual recollection after Prairie du Chien (and thus the photo album ends here). Prarie du Chien is a small town with a low flood plain. The 1965 flood took out a good chunk of the town and much of its historical buildings. The few that survive are surviving well, as a part of a park. It looked like the neighborhood had been bombed out (kind of like Old Valmeyer, Illinois).

The rest of the trip had to be enjoyed as dark fell. The next stop was going to be Wyalusing State Park, and was hoping there was no admission. There was, and I turned back. Another stop for another day. Wyalusing State Park is the opposite side of Pikes Peak Park in McGregor, IA - where the Wisconsin River joins the Mississippi. But the road there took me off the beaten path. I'm glad I went that way because I think I found my retirement spot.

Wyalusing is like the other Wisconsin river towns, except this one is off the beaten path on a road less traveled. It's population is only about 100, and there are no stores I believe. The town sits on the bottom of a bluff, trapped in it's own little world. To get things, you have to travel down the road 3 miles to a place called Grandpa's General Store in Bagley. I was warned by a friend about frogs in Bagley. And sure enough when I came toward Bagley, you could hear nothing but the croaks of frogs.

Then came the main road again, as night was there for sure. The first sight of a cornfield kind of let me down a little. But on I went, driving through Cassville and then Potosi. I had heard of Potosi from their high school sports successes in football and girls basketball, but never been there. It's a winding town, with a lot on one main road and is surrounded by cliffs. A late stop would have been the Potosi Brewery, but by that time it was 9:00 p.m.

So I wanted to eat some dinner, and headed back to Dubuque to officially conclude my trip. I picked up some Arby's after encountering some rain as I crossed into Iowa. Sure, I get back to Illinois to the tune of RAIN! This would be a theme throughout April. Leaving Dubuque, I headed my usual way home - down Route 84 to Savanna, Route 52 to Mt. Carroll and finally down Route 40 back home. I got back home around midnight.

End of vacation.

As I spring foward to this present day (after thinking back about the past), I feel as if this vacation experience made me grow up as a person. I'm almost 25 years old now. There was so much to see, and so much to manage on my own. Since coming back from my vacation, I haven't had a "down" day yet. I hope this continues.

With a lot of vacations, there are some regrets. I have a few. I regret not being able to make the trip from Little Falls to Bemijdi, and stopping at those Wisconsin State Parks, and waking up late on the final day. But I think the best thing about these types of vacations is that the opportunity to come back is there because of these regrets. Of course, I would do the whole thing all over again if I could. However, to be honest, I don't know if I'm going to be able to travel this far for leisure for a while. I would like to get things straightened up back home before putting the money aside.

There are still plenty of vacation spots. But because this particular one comes at a important time of my life, I don't think any other self-trip will top this one to Lake Itasca.

Minnesota - The Vacation (Day 3)

2011-04-26T21:43:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.62.40
Current Song - I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide (ZZ Top)

Note: I've been back since April 7, and it is now April 26. Of the 19 days since I came back home, a lot has happened. Thus the delay. Plus, I didn't write while on the vacation (compared to last year) simply because there was too much to do.

There are pictures of the trip on my Facebook photo album.

Because of the numerous things I saw, I had to break the entry down into four days. The previous entries broke down days 1 and 2. This entry recalls Day 3, with the next entry being the final day of the vacaction.

Since I got to sleep fairly early, I woke up fairly early. I wanted to make it to Lake Itasca before sunfall, and this was the best way to do it. The hotel's breakfast (a small, but modest one) began at 5 a.m., so I ate some and then went on the road. I put a small amount of gas at a BP station in town. A coupon from a trip to Cub Foods advertised three cents a gallon off the price. That coupon would turn to four in the next trip, then five and up to seven.

I took I-35W back to where I left off the previous day, at Mill Ruins Park. This particular road has a feature where they charge you for using the far left lane, and it's set up like an I-Pass system. I thought about using it, because I have an I-Pass and it's useable in other states, but didn't do it. So I got to Mill Ruins Park and went west on West River Parkway.

West River Parkway eventually ended after a while, and I was back trying to go parallel along the river. I eventually had to get on I-94 before it exited onto another state highway that took me to Brooklyn Center. There was a park in the suburb that I parked for a while at, just to get a glimpse of the river. This was about 7 a.m.

From there, it was pretty much all county roads for a while. I saw a state park, Coon Rapids Dam, and parked there for a while to take a walk. It's pretty much just like the dam back home, with a walking bridge. The view was good enough, especially being morning, to get some good pictures in. It was at this point that I kind of figured out that the number of parks as I went up was going to be vast, and made the decision to keep following the river but stop at every other park along the way.

When I stopped at a wayside near Champlin, the thought came to me of how great it would be to have property along the Mississippi River. Then looking at it from this point made me wonder that these people don't think of it as big as I (an Illinois resident) would.

On west to Dayton. The Crow River empties into the Mississippi at this town, which had a boat launch that I parked for a while at. There was this large house at the confluence, larger than almost any house outside of Chicagoland that I had seen. I had to wonder which very important person lived there. I'm still wondering.

From Dayton to St. Cloud was more like viewing the Interstate than viewing the river. There wasn't much river to see along this road. Plus, there wasn't much of what I considered the image of Minnesota (evergreen trees, timber, etc.), and it looked somewhat similar to central Illinois. It wasn't until actually reaching St. Cloud that I saw the river again.

St. Cloud is home to St. Cloud State University, and I drove around the campus for a little while before crossing the river and stopping at a park. The park - once you get to the edge of the river, going down a steep and woody hill - provided a great view of the school's football stadium. At this point, the Mississippi is about the same size as the Pecatonica River. Between all of the stops I had made, it was about 11 a.m. when I was at St. Cloud. I made another change in vacation planning there, deciding that the river was small enough that no matter what side I was on, I was still going to see everything around it.

It was also at St. Cloud that my little experiment with ham sandwiches fell apart. Keeping sandwiches in a cooler for three days didn't turn out to be a good idea. The bread turned wet and soggy, and I don't have the taste buds for that. Out went the sandwiches, but I still feel I saved a bit of money on my food budget by doing this.

Now on the east side of the river, I continued upward and hit yet another state park. My brakes aren't the best, so at the sight of a brown road sign I have to slow down. Then when it says "state park" or "historical marker" I have to brake even more to make the turn. This particular sign led me to a park called "Bend in the River Regional Park". It wasn't much of a park, I thought, but maybe I didn't see all of it. I stopped at an old farm site that had been turned into a historical site. Small plaques told the stories of each of the buildings there.

Continuing north, there wasn't much river to see. But the road was signed "Great River Road" so I followed it anyway. One stop in Royalton was very interesting: Treasure City.

Treasure City (you have to see the picture of it from the outside) is a large store with a bunch of small items. Just how many small items? I had to walk side-to-side so I wouldn't break anything. Going through the store took about an hour. When I got in, I didn't know where to start. There were things everywhere! So I went right and took my time going through every little thing there. It's like a lady shopping at a department store. There was a figurine I wanted (called "Sports Nut" with a bunch of sports equpiment and a walnut with eyes next to them), and made my own little bookmark on it - put it off to the side of the shelf where I could come back later and pick it up after reviewing my gift budget.

Most of the south side of the store is figurines, nothing I would really want. This is where the ten-second rule of being frugal comes in: debate an item for ten seconds, and if you're still unsure that you want it, put it back. Among the items going through the debate was a traffic-light lamp. I always had a liking for a traffic light in my bedroom (since seeing one at Spencers years ago), but I already have a light.

Speaking of traffic signals, there was a board called "traffic sign bingo" that I considered for a while. When I was younger I had an infatuation with traffic signs. After going past a bunch of indian stuff, I reached a spinning display with a bunch of gag signs and bumper stickers. Of couse, I have to take a look at them because they are things that I like a lot. I picked one up advertising the place, and another that says "DO NOT WASH This car is undergoing a scientific dirt test" because I needed an excuse for the amount of dust accumulating on my car. Another item was a magnetic license plate with my name on it, kind of as proof I was really in Minnesota. I also picked up a gag card (the wallet kind) called "The Everything Free Card" which is sure to strike up some conversation. Yet another thing was a sleeve of three Backseat Driver's Licenses, which would be perfect for Danny since he doesn't have a real license yet. Going along with the money theme, I also picked up a coozy that says "I want less work, and more money, for not doing it."

All these items and not a shirt yet to punctuate my trip until I finally got to the north wall. Fortunately they had a Minnesota shirt that fits me. Then came more time looking at things I didn't need - but I didn't want to skip something that looked good. Among these was a Minnesota rubber coin holder keychain (because I lose loose change quite often) I finally got to the checkout counter and found my first sound of a Minnesota accent. But before I checked out I went through everything and did the ten-second thing again. I put back the Treasure City bumper sticker and the bingo game. The checkout counter had fake scratch-off tickets, which would be a good gag for my gas station friends (I eventually never used them, with more on that in a later blog entry).

Free cider, free four scoops of ice, and a bunch of outside pictures later, I was ready to go. Then I looked at the time, and it was 2:00 p.m. I needed to get to Lake Itasca, and get there fast. I had to sacrifice another part of the trip, and that was the river length from Little Falls to the Lake itself. Going through Grand Rapids and Bemidji would take a long time, and I thought I wasn't going to make it to the Lake before dusk. So it sucked to skip a part of the path, but realized that my main reason for going on this trip was to see the start of the Mississippi River. All that talk of not using a map came to an end when I plugged in Mapquest on my cell phone for the quickest way there.

Going northwest on US Route 10, the scenery still didn't look anything like the typical Minnesota. It isn't until you go north of US Route 10 do you start seeing forest green. Mapquest had me going on a bunch of country roads, and because of that I started looking for my "down-home restaurant." I found a couple, but both were closed at the moment. There's not much else to discuss from here to the Lake because there was no river to see.

US Route 71 eventually takes you to Lake Itasca, and I reached it at around 4 p.m. It was surrounded by tall and skinny trees along the drive. A sign after entering the park mentioned a pay station. Admission to a state park? There's nothing like this in Illinois. But I had to pay the $5 daily vehicle pass. There was a gift shop (I bought a book called "How to speak Minnesotian", which I felt awkward putting it on the counter in front of the Minnesotian clerk) and a museum at the welcome center that told the history of the park. Keep in mind I didn't even see the actual lake until I left the center.

There was an interesting segment at the museum that revolved around the actual beginning of the Mississippi River. I had no idea it was disputed. Three explorers had three different ideas, and after looking at a streams map even I had my own theory as to the end of the river. Henry Rowe Schoolcraft pointed out Lkae Itasca, Joseph Nicollet pointed out a creek that formed from the lake, and a man named Glazier noticed a creek from Itasca led to another lake. My theory? Go with Glazier's, and follow the stream from this lake (Lake Elk) to a small pond. The dispute ended with the naming of where the river meets the lake (the "headwaters") as the actual beginning (Schoolcraft's theory). I set out for both the headwaters and my determined ending.

It was six miles from the visitor's center, along a long and winding road filled with these tall trees. Kind of like a drunk guy paving the road. I passed the actual headwaters spot to go deeper into the park and to find "my" beginning. However, the road turned into a snowed road (there were no "road closed" signs to be seen), and there were a couple of trees down in the middle of the road due to the wind. The trees were cut wide enough for a car to pass. After a few minutes of fishtailing, I finally found a closed-off gate. So I wasn't able to get to "my" beginning. I wasn't all that disappointed. So I headed back to the actual headwaters.

Probably the best thing about this experience was that I was the ONLY car parked there. No one visits Minnesota state parks during the winter (April 6 is still considered winter). So I got to enjoy the headwaters experience all to myself. The river is only about seven feet wide when I crossed the footbridge to get to the headwaters. A wooden log greeted me where river met lake:

"Here 1475 ft above the ocean the mighty Mississippi begins to flow on its winding way 2552 miles to the Gulf of Mexico"

You could hear a pin drop.

I enjoyed the sight for a couple of hours before sunset started. I took a bunch of pictures there as well. The lake took up a lot of space, and you could hear the water pass through the rocks put in place for the dividing line. In the summer, one can jump across the rocks. Since the water was high, I didn't exactly do that, but I took off my shoes and socks and dipped my feet in.

As I mentioned once already in my logs, a vacation is an occurance when one wants to get away from a bunch of things. Here I was at Lake Itasca, literally way from it all. All to myself. Peace. Quiet. Nothing to distract me. Savoring the moment.

Eventually the experience had to end, and the feeling of the long ride back home started to seep in. The journey was about 750 miles one-way. As I walked away, I looked at a few more markers and made my way back to my car. You could hear a pin drop.

Leaving the park, I still didn't find my "restaurant" but found a place called Itasca Junction. That was more of a gas station/ExpressLane deal with a small eatery. So this was my dinner. I had a bacon cheeseburger (good) with chips and a pepsi. I was sitting alone, while a regular group of Minnesota people were gathered at a larger table next to me. I couldn't help myself to notice the dialect.

I guess in a kind of Minnesota way, they offered me to take my Pepsi and have it refilled for my drive "back home." After reading my book from the park's gift shop, I guess this is normal. I drove back to the Twin Cities the same way I came up, but gassed up once more at a Shell in Verndale. I bought some more lottery tickets there.

I arrived in Minneapolis at dusk, and tried out some night pictures in downtown. It was after a long walk in downtown that I found the Mary Tyler Moore statue (mentioned in 'Day 2'), which was a required picture opportunity. A very-light-up building struck my eye, which was the Wells Fargo building. Very vertical with long lines of light going up and down. I'm glad these pictures turned out.

After walking back to my car at Mill Ruins Park, it was close to 11:00 p.m. - by far the most packed day of the trip. I still had the length back home to go on. On the way back to the hotel, I had to debate myself as to how to handle the final day. Sleep little and leave early, or sleep in and skip things along the way. Only the night's sleep would made the decision a final one.

Day 4's adventure will come in the next blog entry.

Minnesota - The Vacation (Part 2)

2011-04-25T14:58:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

Note: I've been back since April 7, and it is now April 25. Of the 18 days since I came back home, a lot has happened. Thus the delay. Plus, I didn't write while on the vacation (compared to last year) simply because there was too much to do.

There are pictures of the trip on my Facebook photo album.

Because of the numerous things I saw, I had to break the entry down into four days. The previous entry broke down Day 1. This entry recalls Day 2, with the subsequent entries recalling days three and four.

The pizza I was eating drove me insane in the middle of the night because I had that burning-throat feeling. When this happened, I used to drink a lot of milk and it would go away. I didn't have that at my disposal this time, and kind of let it natrually go away. But it did hurt for a while.

Because of the change in plans I made yesterday, I decided to make my second day the one to go through both of the Twin Cities. I had been to Minneapolis only once, while on a trip to the Mall of America (in suburban Bloomington), but didn't really see anything. The plan was to go back to Hastings and pick up west alongside the river past the cities, and then cross and pick up east back to Hastings.

There's a road from Burnsville to Hastings I completely didn't know about (and would have been great yesterday), and I past Apple Valley along the way. I knew Apple Valley because of their great high school wrestling teams. But on to Hastings, where I saw a barge tow and a railroad bridge. Railroad bridge, whoop-de-do, but I have never seen one lift up and down for a barge. After mailing my postcards, I followed the river to Lock and Dam No. 2. Oddly enough, it's the only lock-and-dam I visited in the entire stretch (from 13 up, in Fulton). There the barge tow was waiting to be lifted, and there was a display of storage comparisons between trains and barges. I shot a picture of it and was impressed with just how much space a barge has compared to a train car.

Leaving Hastings, I saw a unique octagon-shaped house. These kind of houses have always been my favorite to look at. My dad likes to design floor plans in his spare time, and had a couple of books to guide him. There were some pages that featured octagonal houses and I always liked how they were shaped for some reason. The only other octagonal house I know of is in Prophetstown.

At this point, I'm not following the Great River Road but rather the river itself - meaning I was turning and doing turnabouts quite often. I let nature guide me, rather tahn use a GPS system.

The river sent me to a tiny town called Nininger, which I'm sure was a lot bigger a long time ago. Then it was off along the river and back into the Metro area. The river sent me to a park in South St. Paul, where I got to see just exactly how narrow the river really was at that point. It was there I got my first glimpse of the St. Paul skyline. Onward I drove and hit where I could see downtown. This particular part of downtown is on the west side of the river, and looked like it was undergoing redevelopment. But you could see the buildings and bridges real well. When there are buildings and bridges, I'm shooting pictures.

Then I saw a few houses on a bluff, that looked like they were overlooking the downtown area. A great view, I thought, so I went up there. Probably the best skyline view I had ever seen. You have to be rich to live in these houses, I thought. There is a street in front of these houses, dividing them from the bluff. The river tour began to turn into a city tour.

Coming back down is where I hit a snag in my road plans. Because of the high water, the actual path had been closed for a distance. So I spent a while trying to regroup and find out where to pick the path back up at. Again, this is without the guidance of a map. I went a ways and found the place where the Minnesota River empties into the Mississippi. It was there I knew that the easiest way to pick up where I left off on the west side is by crossing the river into the east side and finding it from there. Eventually I found a place near Minnehaha.

After driving a little ways I eventually found the road called "West River Parkway." That was great considering that I knew I wasn't going to get lost anymore. There is a jogging path next to the road, and I had never seen that many joggers. I briefly thought to myself that I was the largest person within the city limits. Next to the jogging path was a wall of trees and shrubbery, so I couldn't really see water unless it was a park of some sort. But the houses were great.

Driving along the parkway I stumbled upon the campus of the University of Minnesota. That's four Big Ten campuses down, eight to go. At that point, the river looked smaller than the Rock River, but still bigger than the Pecatonica. I didn't really know how close I was to downtown because of the bluffs, but it wasn't too long after that I hit the I-35W bridge. (For those unaware, I-35 splits into two roads, east and west, similar to Dallas).

Not too long ago I remember when the old I-35W bridge collapsed. I also remember it not taking too long to put up a replacement bridge. While it was put up pretty quickly, I knew about how technologically advanced this particular bridge was. The bridge was completely white, unlike any other bridge I had seen before. So that was another series of pictures.

Continuing on I hit a place called Mill Ruins Park. I had no knowledge of this, but when I saw the shelled-out mill building, I understood. After all that turning around and stopping, it was about 5:30 when I hit this park. The building is actually shelled out, from a fire a few years ago. But the building was stablized and made into a milling museum. This was unlike any perservation effort I had ever seen, and was very awed by this sight. Unfortunately because of time, I didn't visit the museum. It is one of several old flour mills still standing along the Minneapolis riverfront. Some of which have been converted into lofts. There was a free parking area next to a dam, and I parked and started walking.

That river tour turned into a tour of downtown Minneapolis. It was there when I came up with the fact that the Mary Tyler Moore show was based in Minneapolis. When I was younger I enjoyed watching the show on Nick at Nite, before I would go to bed. From age 8 to 11 we had a television in our (me and Mike's) bedroom. That iconic scene where she throws her hat up in the air is commemorated by a statue. I wanted to find that statue. I didn't before it got dark out, and my camera wasn't going to work all that well.

Day 2 didn't turn out to be a whole lot, because that wasn't even half of my entire plan for the day. It was going to take a lot longer to see all of this. While looking out at the river from the arch footbridge, I reorganized my plans once more. I still had the whole west side of Minneapolis to see, the journey to Lake Itasca, and the entire east side of the Twin Cities to see. I'm glad I axed the St. Croix leg of the trip. The next day was going to start very early, going up the west side of Minneapolis and then marching forward to Lake Itasca. Day 4 was going to be dedicated to finding that statue, and going along the east side of the river and back home.

I really wanted to see everything along the way, and the things that were challenging me were my budget and the night sky. Luckilly I had some left-over pizza in my room ($12 can get you a long ways apparently), and made sure to sleep early for the early trip the next day.

Day 3's adventure will come in the next blog entry, and is a lot longer than this entry.

Minnesota - The Vacation (Day 1)

2011-04-25T01:33:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.52.40
Current Song - Lookin' Out My Backdoor (CCR)

Note: I've been back since April 7, and it is now April 25. Of the 18 days since I came back home, a lot has happened. Thus the delay. Plus, I didn't write while on the vacation (compared to last year) simply because there was too much to do.

There are pictures of the trip on my Facebook photo album.

Because of the numerous things I saw, I had to break the entry down into four days. This entry recalls Day 1, with the subsequent entries recalling days two, three and four.

After I came home from New York around this time last year, I started to think about where I would go the next year. Would I continue on my Hall of Fame journey and go to Springfield, MA (basketball)? Would it be somewhere west, or south? I thought about it for a while, and there were many bumps in the road along the way.

Mainly, running the website caused me to put the vacation idea on the backburner. I had requested some time off the week after Christmas, and thought that would be a perfect time to maybe go somewhere south or west. A destination just wasn't thought of. Ideas came to mind, such as Montreal, Boston, Florida, and Seattle. Myrtle Beach was another, and seemed to be the favorite. When it came time to start thinking about the actual vacation, I didn't have much planned. The days went by fast, and I spent this week off at home instead of somewhere else.

The time off allowed me to think of vacation plans earlier. I planned another week, this time in April, for the actual vacation. Again, Myrtle Beach seemed to be the favorite, but some other ideas came to mind. That, combined with the fact that any beach destination was going to be packed with people wasn't going to be enjoyable, made me look somewhere north.

From Illinois, there isn't much north. I had been to Milwaukee, Green Bay, Detroit, and the Mall of America. I needed a Passport to leave the country, thus forcing Montreal out. The feeling of Northern Exposure came to be a little, and I kind of focused on some point in Minnesota. I didn't know much about Minnesota, other than the fact that the Mississippi River starts there (and my sixth-grade teacher once visited the point where it starts). After that thought, it kind of all came together.

Visit the Mississippi River where it starts, and drive along it until I get there.

I really like off-beat drives, and this kind of solidified the plans. The first time I went to St. Louis, we went there from the Quad Cities down on the west side of the river. Real enjoyable.

After planning a route, and a vacation timetable, the journey to Lake Itasca was on.

I budgeted less than what I did last year. My mom would use the term "el cheapo" on trips that weren't all that financially great. But they were good trips, anyway. Just like this one.

"El cheapo" meaning for this trip:

1. I cut out a coupon for a loaf of bread, another coupon for a pound of ham, buy cheap sandwich bags, and made sandwiches for the trip. Cut out another for a 12-pack of pop, and put that in the cooler as well.

2. Find the cheapest chain hotel possible for a three-night stay.

3. Start filling up my tank in Iowa.

The first stop was Clinton, just for the purpose above - to fill up my tank. I wanted to leave very early in the morning, so I could cram the Mississippi adventure from sun-up to sun-down. I left home at 4:00 a.m., not knowing when the sun actually came up. I was given some lottery advice from a customer of mine, to buy tickets while vacationing because it always seems like the winners are always those who just pass by. So along with the gas, and fuel treatment, I bought a Cash Game ticket, Hot Lotto, Mega and Powerball ticket.

On north on Route 67 to Sabula. I had passed through Sabula a couple of times, but no from the side I came up on. It was still dark out, and around 5:00 a.m., and I parked at a place called Driscoll's Island for a small break and took pictures. The camera - Danny's - didn't fare too well for night shots. I had a feeling that this was going to be the theme for most of the Iowa stretch. It wouldn't do much good to go into Sabula because there would be nothing to take pictures of. It was there I planned to shoot a "gag photo" of myself on the Savanna-Sabula bridge. That would be on the way back home.

On north on Route 52 to Bellevue. To my dismay, it was still dark out. On our way back from the Mississippi River museum in Dubuque (with my grandparents some years ago), we stopped at a cafe there and watched barges go by. It was night, but the camera began to work a little. The town has a nice riverfront park.

As 52 worked its way north toward Dubuque, I noticed that I wasn't following the River any more. So I tried to go on some backroads to get parallel with the river. I veered off at St. Donatius, which is a small town with a Luxembourg heritage (and perhaps bigger than Luxembourg itself?). The thought of going on vacation and driving on gravel roads seemed a bit exciting before I suddenly got lost. What then made it worse was a wicked curve of the road. I was driving 30 mph when I cut a tight curve to the left. No signs or anything, but this curve made my car fishtail and my heart chugging. So I had to take a picture of the curve that nearly killed me. But all worries aside, this part of Iowa is very hilly and there are a few shelled-out houses, too.

Getting back on course, Route 52 then made its way into Dubuque. I had been there a few times, mostly for visits to Diamond Jo Casino when I was bored after Highland classes. The main bridge to Dubuque, the Julian Dubuque Bridge, engulfs the rest of the cityfront when looked at on the climb down on Route 52. While I had visited Diamond Jo on the riverfront before (both boat and land), I never visited the actual riverfront. Thus I did, and it was light enough for some good pics. There's a little walkway on a levee, and it had markers for the Star Brewery and the Shot Tower. They made lead in the Shot Tower.

Going up further on Route 52, I took a turn off toward the river. It was there I decided just to follow the "Great River Road" and "America's Byways" signage throughout the entire trip. The turnoff took me to a couple of unique places.

Balltown was just a small little town until I noticed a place I had seen before in a couple of news reports. Breitbach's Country Dining is the oldest restaurant in Iowa, and perhaps known for a couple of fires there in recent years. Unfortunately, they were closed on Mondays, so breakfast had to wait. Leaving Balltown, there is a great lookout where one can see for miles (just think of the "Who" song). Any place that has a binocular machine is a sight to see.

The next stop on this very tiny road was a place called North Buena Vista. Usually I think of Buena Vista as a southern resort, but this was far from it. The road actually just nicks the corner of the town, but I went in. There is a grotto made from the foundation of rock. There are also some campsites, and an old restaurant that kind of looked like a place I wanted to eat at. It was there that I wanted to stray away from the usual chain places, and have dinner at these types of "dives."

Going up even further on Route 52 (I rejoined it again), I kind of got the feeling that Iowa is much more than it's sterotypical feeling - that of corn and farms. Upon reaching Guttenberg, there was a "roadside table" (I call them) along 52. It was a unique view of the river looking north, where most views make you look left and right. The river was very high at that point, so I wasn't able to tell the actual river boundary, but there was plenty of river to look at. It was there that I tested out the camera's 10-second feature. My family kind of gets a little bummed when I take these pictures and there's not much of me in them. This 10-second thing would really help out on the photo album, having to balance the camera on a level point and then dash to a pose.

Once again, after leaving Guttenberg, I found myself not seeing the river anymore. I didn't want to get lost like earlier in the day, so I just drove on until I found the next major road that would take me east again. That was a road to McGregor. It was there that I found Pikes Peak Park just south of the town. My feet were tired and I decided to take an extended break. I was the only car in the parking lot of this very large park. You go on vacations to get away from it all, and here I was literally away from it all. Pike Peak was the place to see where the Wisconsin River met the Mississippi, but with a lot of high waters it was hard to tell where the meeting point was. There was also a marker there stating that Father Marquette and Louis Jolliet entered the Mississippi from here.

When I got back to my car, I noticed that my both my camera battery was low and my cell phone battery was getting lower. I had both chargers with me and found a shelter with a couple of outlets for charging them. While I was waiting for them to charge, I walked around the park a little bit before it rained. (Mind you I was the only person at the park, so I could literally leave my electronics safely in the shelter and walk freely). I read a park display reading out the path of the northern part of the river, and noting to myself that I was making great timing to make it to the Twin Cities before dusk.

McGregor is an interesting-looking small town. Most of the town is high, while the downtown is nearly level with the river. You could see shops, with the rock bluff literally in the background. I didn't know this before, but McGregor was the site of the first Ringling Brothers circus. We were off Route 52 at this time, and was on a county road. After leaving McGregor and Marquette (pretty much twin cities), I was anxious to get to the Minnesota border - much to the tune of the cries of "are we there yet?"

Finally after exiting New Albin (a town that has a high school with a lot of state baseball championships), we reached the wooden sign hanging from a stone rock, "Minnesota Welcomes You". There was another marker at the sign, with a mileage display. Another 150 or so miles to the Twin Cities. I crossed the border around 2:30 p.m. and hoped I get to the day's endpoint soon. But there was a lot of river to be seen. At this point, the roads and Minnesota landscape were becoming the attraction.

I reached Winona only to see a very unique rock on the top of the hill. I didn't know what it was until I stopped at a Walgreens simply to find some Minnesota postcards. It was after reading the postcards that I found the name of Sugar Loaf Rock. Green-eyed lady, lovely lady? Hardly. The rock looks like a vertical trapezoid sticking out of the ground. I drove through Winona, which is home to Winona State University (were Rock Island played a football game at a couple of years back), and stopped at their riverfront.

After leaving Winona I noticed my gas tank was getting dry. I went on for a few more miles on Route 61 before deciding on a Kwik Trip in Kellogg. The price of gas there was the same as it was in Sterling at the time (3.79). Little did I know this gas would be better than the Shell gas I got in Clinton. Because I that took me to Itasca and back to the Twin Cities.

On I went following the river past Wabasha and into Lake City. The welcome sign to Lake City noted that the town was the birthplace of waterskiing. The Mississippi forms a lake at this point (hence the name Lake City), where I stopped and took some river pictures because of the vast amount of water. To tell how high the water was at the time, I placed my camera on the ground and took a pic from ground level. There were small waves rushing onto the land as I took the picture.

I took a second break at Lake City to reorganize my plans. I had just topped off my tank at Kellogg and thought to myself that I was going to go over my fuel budget on this trip (not knowing how good this fuel in my car actually was). I had planned on taking a side trip up along the St. Croix River, which would have taken me to Duluth. I decided to axe that entire side trip, and put all resources toward the Mississippi. Thinking tactically kind of meant my head was getting the best of me for the day, and I was longing for the Twin Cities.

It was about 4:00 when I entered Red Wing. I wanted to get my mind off of vacation planning and find something interesting. Then I found the Red Wing shoe store and museum. It was basically a shop with shoes and Red Wing memorabilia. The place was also home to the world's largest boot (size 877), which is about two stories tall. The museum was upstairs and had a spacious artifact display telling the history of Red Wing shoes.

By the time I arrived in Hastings, I found out that these "Great River Road" signs were becoming misleading. I was following it, and I was crossing the Mississippi River at the same time. I hadn't crossed it since Clinton. I was a bit confused at that point, and stopped for a while. It was there that I realized that there's only one Great River Road in Minnesota, and it crossed the river at various times. I was playing tactical once again, and decided enough was enough. I drove toward the Twin Cities and found my way to the Travelodge in suburban Burnsville.

Because it is just me traveling, a small room with a small bed, television, alarm clock and a bathroom fits me well. When I got there, I went to the phone book to find a map of the city. There I could map my way through the Twin Cities along the river. I ordered some pizza and slept away watching television.

Day 2 would be touring the river through the Twin Cities, Day 3 would be the drive to Lake Itasca, and Day 4 would be the drive back on the east side of the river.

Day 2's adventure will come in the next blog entry.

Rocky Thoughts

2011-04-02T06:06:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.20.40
Current Song - Take Me Home (Phil Collins)

I think it all started when our dog's leash broke under my "watch" at 1:30 a.m. on Tuesday.

Usually I wait for him to bark, but after a while there was no barking. When his leash was found severed I spent all night looking for him.

This led to a lot of self-doubt in my ability to think straight. I was chided from all angles regarding this event with my dog. The recovery process from this sudden rocking of the ship was very difficult.

Then came a blow I really did not need. I live with the parents, and they are still willing to do my laundry. I have had a habit of turning my clothes inside-out when taking them off. For some reason I've always lifted from the bottom up instead of the top up. The result is that the shirts are inside-out when I put them in the hamper.

Now I should know better to leave the clothes in the hamper looking the correct way. However, just the mention of this fact sent me into an even deeper rut, and thus the ship was rocked a little harder.

***

You see, this is a struggle between myself and reality. I, like everyone else, have dreams to do what we WANT to do and like doing it. I kind of have that already. But with every little reminder that I'm not up to par with reality, it sets me back a little.

(I have stared blankly for 20 minutes)

I'm forgetting things, and am falling way behind the progress of the other 24-25 year olds that I know. For those who looked back on my intellect from long ago and thought I had high hopes, don't cry for me. Instead, cheer me on as I take on this force that is reality and find a way to be successful in it and regain my ground.

First, I would like to seek and maim those who are detrimental to my success. Then again, I don't know.

Could It Be?

2011-03-28T00:11:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.82.30
Current Song - the common drum roll

For what seems like my entire life, I've been inching a small step closer to putting up a yard sale.

I was bored most of the day today, and decided to work on this particular project. I decided to put things into particular price bins - save books, sports stuff and other large items. Turns out to be a good way to sort things.

The boxes of things are ready, and all I need to do is round up six tables and a set of colored stickers - and I'm all set.

The exact date is still To Be Announced, but it is likely I'll have it going by the summer.

Here's a sample ad:

RUMMAGE SALE
Date/Time TBA
206 17th Avenue
Sterling
Parking in front
and rear

Books, sports items and
cards; lots of knick
knacks in
5-10-25-50-75-100 cent
bins, Yamaha DJX
keyboard

This Year's Vacation will be ...

2011-03-27T01:25:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.72.30
Current Song - It's My Life (No Doubt)

An interesting one, and nothing generic.

Next week, I will be driving up and down the Mississippi River from Clinton to Lake Itasca in Minnesota. A riverside drive, you can call it. I'll also be visiting the northern Minnesota forests before entering Wisconsin and going along the St. Croix River down to the Mississippi.

Once past the Twin Cities, the river gets a bit narrow and I can see what's on the other side a little better.

It's more of an outdoors-y kind of trip, and I prefer these over going to Florida or California or Panama, where everything's real busy. This particular vacation I'm going on is a very quiet one. I always thought a vacation is a getaway; sure Cali is a getaway from Sterling, but it isn't a getaway from everything.

I will be leaving on Monday, April 4; and won't get back until late Friday night, April 8.

Other than the path I plan on taking, I don't know what's out there. That's the fun of it. I didn't research every little stop I'll be taking. So it's a surprise even for me. There is one particular place, a casino in northern Wisconsin, that I'd like to stop by.

***

For the second year in a row I'm going on a vacation. Last year's vacation to the halls of fame can be read about HERE. The vacation to Tucson to see my grandparents can be seen HERE.

After this year, however, I won't be going on any more self-vacations for a while.

I decided that I was going to put my money toward useful things. This is coupled with the fact that I've pretty much been nearly everywhere I wanted to go and see. I'm only 24, and I've seen a lot of things.

Things I've seen up to this point:

Baseball Hall of Fame
Football Hall of Fame
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Cedar Point
Indianapolis Motor Speedway
MoTown Museum
Canada
Lambeau Field
St. Louis Arch
Milwaukee
Route 66 in Illinois
Old Tucson, and everything else there.

Places I still want to see, and will reserve them for some other time in my life:

London
Paris
Pacific Coast
New York City
Boston
Alaska
Hawaii
Texas
Toronto/Montreal
Graceland

I'd rather spread all of this out over the course of my entire lifetime, and probably with anything she (if there ever will be a she) wants to do and go to. But really, things financially aren't going all that well for me personally. I went right on budget last year ($600 plus hotels). But that doesn't mean I won't move from this spot. If asked to tag along in a trip, I will be more than happy to.

Can't wait! About a week away!

Turn the Page?

2011-03-22T03:35:00.002-05:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

I made a post about my brother earlier today. Somewhere in the midst of things, a couple of things coincided in my head. First, was the constant frustration I'm getting at work; the second, was a low point in my life.

Summer 2006 - I had spent a lot of time writing feature stories for the website, relating to conference changes. That's all I was doing. I was on the computer 24-7 doing these things. I didn't have a job. Sauk was on summer break. I had no income. I had no car. All my friends had gone away. All I had was the website, and that wasn't going to get me anywhere.

I wanted to be a sportswriter at a newspaper. Nothing was open. So I had to look at "other" things. I didn't like doing these other things. There was a third-shift jon opening at the BP station. I knew nothing about running a cash register and caring for a gas station, and thus I didn't want to do it. This was with all corners closing in on me, and I still didn't want to do it.

What got me to change my mind was something my dad said. He told me that I would meet new people, and I wouldn't be so shy all of the time. With that advice in mind, I applied and was hired. I spent 19 months at BP before leaving for the Shell gig I have now.

I spent 15 months on the overnight shift, 12 of those as overnight lead. The remaining four months were spent on evenings and weekend mornings. I worked just about every shift out there, during every day out there, and during every time of year and every holiday. The best thing about overnights was that people pretty much talked with you out of sheer boredom. This eventually carried over to the times that I worked outside of the overnight hours. I transitioned into the other shifts well, and so did my conversation skill.

I liked to go to work, except on those days with a heavy chore load or a work dispute. This was because I enjoyed the interaction.

I wasn't there to make money for Manjit Singh or Jay Patel. I was there to learn about people and make friends. I did. I got to meet a lot of people. Even when I moved to Shell, the people I met there have been so kind. The greatest honor for me is when I see these people outside of the gas station, like when I'm at Wal-Mart, or a high school sports event, and they take the time to say hi to me.

Because I've been able to meet and interact with people I know from the gas station, I have tried to be able to interact with those certain people that share the same high school sports interests as me. I have three website contributors that I talk to once in a while. No longer was I the shy young kid at times when covering something. A lot of the interaction I do with my colleagues comes as a result of being able to communicate well with customers at the gas station.

This was the main reason for working at gas stations, along with the money. While money at times has been low, the interaction has been great. I feel as if I am breaking this barrier in my life. Money can be earned anywhere, but this important life skill could only have been learned by the work I have been doing for the past five years.

Five years. That's a long time.

While the interaction has been great, the work has sometimes not. There are those that I get along with well, and those that create some sort of logistical disturbance inside me.

Several frustrations have added up lately, from drive-offs to busy lines and mass confusion. I can't go into detail on these, but all I can say is that they are getting to be too much for this mind to handle. I just don't like getting kicked around by these moments of confusion. I have great co-workers and bosses and all, but there are several moments in the job process that bother me. Burnout, you can call it.

I've already accomplished a plus, so perhaps it's time to draw up an escape plan. I've always wanted to do something with NISB, and make it into something of a small business - but not in the small-business style of my first employer (that turned out to be a mess). Since I know where the line has been crossed with my first employer, I can try to avoid it.

Here's hoping the venture turns into the new job for me.

A whirlwind of emotions right now

2011-03-22T01:48:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.22.30
Current Song - Turn it on Again (Genesis)

The tail end of the chapter. I have been there before, and it was a sad one. Six years ago I was at the tail end of my high school life, when the road of my own was being walked on for the first time.

My youngest brother is at this point of his life. What has defined his high school career was his involvement with the boys basketball team. That has ended. High school hasn't. There is this intermission.

I chose to walk down a path of my own after high school. I didn't listen to what other people told me I should do. This was evident during my senior year when I first ran NISB - I was seeing "other teams" on a regular basis, and because of that kind of felt abandoned by those that walked the halls with me. At certain times, I was chastized for doing what I wanted to do. I wanted to learn more about high school sports, and that required stepping outside the box that was Sterling High School. I was thought of to have no pride in my own school, and was sometimes called a traitor. I was used to that with the certain loyalties I had to the other school across the river.

Danny had been the baseball manager at SHS during his junior year. After that was over with, he enrolled in the school's service learning program. He became a janitor at Lincoln School during the fall, and liked getting a check (money for cappuchino!!) at the end of the week. Then when basketball season started, he went back to managing the basketball team.

After that he made a decision to remain with Lincoln School instead of manage the baseball team. He really enjoyed his job with the school, and there were times last year when he felt a bit uncomfortable in his role. One of the biggest issues he had last year had to do with the choice of music played during games.

Danny has always like different kinds of music, and at that stage he was real big into country music. He felt because of that, rap music was supposed to be despised. The players were real big into rap music, and obviously this would cause a problem for Danny. The players (I think only a few were on the basketball team) would agitate him by changing the music on him. If this ploy were done to someone other than Danny, he or she would probably rub it off.

I don't really know for sure if this was a reason he chose to stick with the Lincoln job, or a deciding factor. He obviously feels really comfortable with his job.

And without him, the baseball team continues to play their own music, which is fine. But Danny seemed a bit perturbed, even though he is not on the team anymore. The reply? I don't even want to imagine it. I just don't want him going back down in flames.

This great debate is something that really both sides (the rap likers, and Danny and the country likers) do not fully understand. Since I carry some of the same unique mental workings as Danny, I know what's going on.

Danny: "I like country."
Friend: "Country? Rap is where it's at!"
Danny: "No it's not."
Friend: "What? Come on, man! Rap (blah, blah, blah)"
Danny: "I just like country, okay?"

The friend tries to tease him by getting him to change his mind. Since there are several friends, and only one of Danny, this conversation comes up with different people. This agitation has been going on for a long time. That's because they just don't fully comprehend that Danny takes these things seriously. The friends simply do it for agitation. Danny is unable to see it that way.

This is really a problem that should be brief. However, both sides carry it on. Danny continues to fire back, unable to detect agitation. I'm sure he's been told before that they are only teasing him. Danny can't get that through his head when the next agitation comes because there is no one to remind him that the friends are only teasing. And the friends know how mad Danny gets in this debate, and people continue to debate him.

Why can't these friends respect the fact that Danny likes country? Why can't Danny respect the fact that these friends like rap? Looking at Danny's Facebook wall kind of gives us an answer. Danny likes to post country-related items on his wall, and the friends are commenting back that rap is better. However, Danny doesn't comment on any wall posts from friends about rap.

It seems like a problem. However, this will all be looked at as true fun. Certainly more fun that I ever had in high school. Boy this post turned into an awkward positive turn. Here I looked at it as a problem, but it is what keeps him the person he is.

He get his picture taken with girls, hangs out with a lot of people, and the whole nine yards. I could never accomplish that in high school. One would detect jealosy on my part, but I'm glad his high school days have been so well.

This turnaround kind of shows how quickly my mindset changes. I kind of think of Danny as the "what could have been" version of myself. See, he did things that I would never do when asked. I would never do the worm in the gym. He did.

And he graduates in two months. I'm so proud of him.

Morals vs. Reality vs. Needs

2011-03-14T10:13:00.003-05:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.41.30
Current Song - That's All (Genesis)

I had a horrible time at the State Tournament this weekend. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't write. I couldn't shoot. I couldn't ask questions. I couldn't follow by itineary, and I could barely drive to and fro. What's worse, I left my camera and home and couldn't use it on Friday. I had to borrow Bill's.

Right now I'm writing this longhand at work. I didn't have enough energy to write the story when I got home. I really need a laptop. however, laptops cost money, a lot of money, which I do not have. Oh, and a Wi-Fi card, which also costs money.

I was so poor over the weekend that I could only budget $40.00 for the weekend. That's not enough for a hotel room. I had to drive home on Friday night to get my camera and type and post stories. Four hours sleep.

What's remarkable about this is that I had Bill's help for the 1A grind. The only think I was doing during Newark's run was shooting pictures. Bill had been having camera problems lately, and I told him I'd try to fix his. So that was the ONLY good thing I was able to accomplish over the weekend.

I had mine for when Newark won State. Here's where my day got worse. I couldn't get good pictures of the awards ceremony. My team picture had to be taken at an angle because there were so many parents and family in the center -

Morals vs. Needs vs. Reality - Respectfully, I should let the families have their moment, without me butting in and distrupting their moment. The moment is about them, and not me getting that picture. That's the morals. The needs is the perfect picture. As this great debate is going on inside my head, time is passing by. We all had to be off the court at a certain time. The result of this is a team picture that is slanted, facing right.

I am extremely disappointed that I didn't get a good picture. This pained me for the duration of Saturday night. My head was in scrambles. Oh, and that promise of that bet, we didn't eat at Hooters because the place was too packed. So that threw off plans. But saved me $20.00 - kind of, because I had to drive back and forth one more time than planned. The money went toward fuel.

I'm still writing this longhand at work (it's being typed at home presently) and can't wait to get home and write that story!

I felt like a pinball in a machine after the final game I covered. When I got back to my car, I couldn't even muster a "Whew!" because my brain was still a scramble. I could only make it to the rest stop on Route 40 near Camp Grove (the one with the old truss bridge) and napped there for 2 hours. When I woke up I was really cold, and my blanket wasn't much help. So much for sleeping in my car overnight.

I don't ever want a weekend like this again. However, there is a good chance that I'll have to do this again. Rock Island and Auburn may advance.

Over the course of the weekend, cue the Duel of the Fates music.

How's This for Frugal

2011-03-07T02:19:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.70.30
Current Song - Opening Act (Prevue Channel)

A while ago I mentioned in this Blog about my friend who won a bet between us regarding a basketball game. I ended up losing the bet, which had lunch at Hooters on the line.

Lunch at Hooters (in Peoria) is coming up this weekend, and I'm a bit short on cash. Rather than put it off until later, I'll try to scrounge around to make good out our promise. Even if that means reading more literature.

Last weekend during the girls basketball and wrestling state tournaments, I experimented with peanut butter sandwiches to curb any hunger attack I had. It worked out on Friday, but it didn't on Saturday. I wasn't allowed to bring outside food into U.S. Cellular Coliseum for the wrestling meet. I starved inside for 12 hours, telling myself not to eat the expensive concession stand food there (they didn't even feed us there in the press room, and I had to steal pop from the official's room - for the second year in a row). The sandwiches got cold, and I had to get something at McDonald's for the ride home, which I shouldn't really do.

This time I thought a little harder. One of the "frugal tips" in my book says to plan meals using coupon flyers. Even coupons these days are boring, as you usually have to buy more than one of that item to get the savings.

Walgreens has a flyer that has things I would normally buy. This weekend they had a pack of Orbit gum for $0.69. It's $1.39 at the Shell station. They also had a 2-for-$3 deal on a pound can of Campbell's Chunky stew. There was also a 2-for-$4 deal on a Jimmy Dean packaged breakfast - which was knocked down to 2-for-$3 with a manufactuer's coupon.

One breakfast bowl down on Friday, one chunky stew up on Friday. One breakfast bowl down on Saturday, one chunky stew up on Saturday. Unlike the sandwiches, nothing gets spoiled. Plus, I'll bring my cooler with me in the car, which has bottled water already in it. It seems weird, but I bought a can opener when I was traveling to and from Freeport for school ... just in case I was snowed in or had a late night at the copy desk. I used that can opener for beef stew, and the Highland cafeteria had a microwave. There are gas stations that have microwaves, like Casey's.

That's $7.00 for food, not counting the friend's UNKNOWN meal at Hooters. I'll just take an appetizer. Less eatie, more ...

Gas Prices

2011-03-04T04:21:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

With gas prices going up once more, it's time to get out the gas price listing on the Internet. There are websites that have gas prices listed, submitted by anonymous users with a handle (like message board posters).

When gas was $4.23 at my Shell station in the summer of 2008, I used the website IllinoisGasPrices.com to map out my trips, and figure out where to go. Gas stations are forbidden to give out prices over the phone, in order to be competitive. So this website helps.

As of tonight, all Sterling and Rock Falls stations were $3.55 a gallon. This was a jump from $3.49 the day before. When I put some fuel in my car a couple of days ago, my station was $3.49 while the Shell on the north end of town was at $3.28. They were trying to compete with Kroger just down the road. That Shell and Kroger are now at $3.55. I hate paying that much for fuel, but I need fuel for the games I go to.

In the next month, I will be heading to Rockford, DeKalb, Peoria, DeKalb again and Peoria again, as well as some hardball games (if there's no snow and freezing tempratures). I'll have to give the website I try to see if there's something cheaper than $3.55 along the way.

There is a rule I use for traveling a ways for the sole purpose of fuel. My great uncle, who worked in real estate for many years, would drive to Clinton, IA - about 30 miles west of Sterling - for fuel. Iowa doesn't tax fuel as much as Illinois does. When the difference is $0.30 from Sterling to Clinton, he'll go there.

So that's roughly one cent per mile. Today, if I were to get fuel in Dixon, 10 miles east, the price of gas would have to be no higher than $3.44 to make the drive worth it. That's a penny savings. That penny will come in handy when you go that darn penny over.

Don't forget to take advantage of saver card savings - such as a couple of cents off at Kroger, County Market, Hilander, etc. - even if its not your card.

Do you have a fuel purchasing tip? Either write a comment on here, or message me on Facebook.

Shutdown

2011-03-04T03:56:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.40.30
Current Song - Regulate (Warren G)

More power to these people who can absorb patience, and distractions going on around them. For some people, it's easy. For others, like me, patience is the virtue that I can't seem to grasp.

This is because my brain can only hold so much information. And yes, I do use only the full 20% at a time. Over my short lifetime, I have acquired so much information. Normally once something goes in, something goes out. Not the case with me.

There comes a point where my head can be too full. Instead of an older memory going on, new ones can't enter. This causes a large mental block. When there's blockage, my brain tries to churn some space open.

I can't really describe this feeling from inside. Outside, I act like a cross between a rabid monkey and a soldier under fire in a war zone. But inside, there is a video on YouTube that diescribes it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiOI365yD1Q

I was like this last afternoon. I slept in until 2 p.m. that afternoon, only to have my mother wake me up for a computer chore. I was to copy and print out a picture of her uncle Hubba, who passed away recently. She needed five copies on photo-stock paper. I was also in need of a color cartridge, and she gave me that, too.

At first I had a difficult time inserting the cartridge. The old one came off and snapped back on easily. But this one didn't budge. The confusion made me angry, and overloaded my brain. Somehow I was able to take out the black ink cartridge, and it fit perfectly in the other compartment. That meant mom bought a black cartridge instead of a color one. I got even more perturbed.

Only then did it come to me that I was to be at work in a half-hour. This is when the rabid monkey comes into the picture. Five minutes later, I looked at my checkbook for some reason, and noticed that the payment is due today. The agent closes at 5 p.m., and it is 3:30. I work at 4 p.m. I'm going crazy at this point, and somehow I manager to get half of the print job done, wrestling paper jam after paper jam after paper jam. (My printer is one that paper feeds in and rolls backward, hence the issues with photo paper).

I had no choice other than to buy 30 minutes off of work. That gave me enough time to print the photos and get my payment made. It gave me enough time to settle down. I made the payment and got to work 15 minutes late. I could easily make up for that.

Divulging all of this kind of tells you how I am when I get angry. My brother Dan gets this way sometimes, but I usually do this when there's no one around. But I still do it.

Just don't tick me off.

When the Computer isn't THE Tool

2011-03-02T01:41:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.20.30
Current Song - In The Dark (Billy Squier)

I use my computer a lot over the course of any single day. I use it to work on my website. I use it to divulge thoughts onto this Blog. I use it to type things that would otherwise hurt my hand. I don't know what I'd do without one.

It's safe to say that I spend a lot of time on it. When I'm not working (at Shell or at a game), I'm either on it, sleeping, or doing something else. Now that the winter sports assignments are narrowing down, I'm spending some more time somewhere. That something else doesn't require a computer.

You see, I don't have a computer in my Website Workshop. Located at an undisclosed location within the NISB coverage area, the Website Workshop is a place where ideas come to life or get pushed to the back of the room. I've been pretty quiet on discussing this, but not too long ago I thought "there's no point in hiding it." This explains the missing gap of time if one tries to wonder where I'm at.

This place is hidden for a reason. But I'll just let you know that it exists. So, won't you gentlemen have a pepsi?

Writing Time

2011-02-23T18:07:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

On longer sports trips, such as the trip to Dundee-Crown on Tuesday, I tend to feel tired on the drive home. When I get home, I'm ready to fall flat on my back on the bed and sleep for a few hours.

Likewise, I woke up at 4:30 a.m. after a six-hour sleep and typed the wrestling story.

If I would have written the story immediately following the event, perhaps I wouldn't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and type. However, the biggest problem I have is the absence of the laptop computer.

Without a laptop (and its unique networking stuff along with that, such as Wi-Fi), I have to drive home and find whatever energy I have left to muster the piece ASAP. In order to get anywhere in this journalism world, this is unacceptable.

The laptop has wound up toward the bottom of the "needs list" underneath brake pads, a computer tuneup, and just ONE class at Northern. If I had one, I could write quicker. I would be able to have the desire to conduct more "homework" than what I already do, which is very little.

Just give me a laptop, and I can work to turn everything around 180 degrees. But I don't have one, so I'll have to settle for the PC at home, and battling travel fatigue.

The only other way to curb this is to find libraries that allow public internet access. Most libraries limit access to just card-holders. However, a little digging can result in striking gold. When I was on my HOF trip last year, I called up libraries only to find something I was looking for in a suburb of Cleveland. Also, hopefully it can be one that is willing to be able to download my Web tools I use for the website.

Here's hoping I strike gold, in more ways than one, very soon.

Lottery Luck

2011-02-23T08:47:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.32.20
Current Song - Simple Man (Lynyrd Skynyrd)

Here was my monthly horoscope, according to the March edition of the "lottery bible" -

"You are quite satisfied with your life, enjoy. Wise spending brings you things you will treasure a long time to come. A friend or companion may need you this month. Help them." My lucky pick 3 numbers are "079," with my four's being "7909."

I don't know about being satisfied with my life, but I'm trying to spend wisely. I guess the last part means that something awful will happen to either one of my writers, or a family member, since I do not have life "companion."

By trying to spend wisely, I'm cutting back on a few things. The first thing I tried was to pack a sack lunch to take with me to games. I went to a wrestling meet in the suburbs on Tuesday, a one-and-a-half-hour drive. Normally, I would take a few bucks and have a quick something from a drive-thru window. Instead, I packed a peanut butter sandwich, some pretzels, and filled my Shell mug with water.

After the meet was over, I opened up the bag. I was disappointed that the pretzels had worn out, but the sandwich was still good. I didn't feel like I had to eat or drink anything else on the way home. That was one of my longer trips during the year, and there are a few more coming up within the next few weeks. I just have to remember to pack it.

Wise spending also comes in the form of not buying scratch-off tickets. Once in a while I will buy a couple, as well as the Pick 3 and 4, but what games are the best ones to play? Sometimes the tickets that command attention are not always the best.

Most reatilers have a list that tracks how many winners are out there, and how many are left. Some math conducted after looking at it will help narrow the choices. Once the choices are narrowed, there's no need to go through a guessing game.

According to the most recent list, the best $1 ticket is called "Double Doubler." It's one of those tickets where you match three like amounts and win that prize, but with a multiplier option of 1, 2 or 4. The best $2 ticket is called "Cash Money." You get two numbers and have to match them with a group of numbers, and if there's a match you win the prize shown below. The best $3 ticket is the Crossword. You have a crossword puzzle and a group of individual letters, how much you win depends on how many full words you reveal using these letters. The best $5 ticket is "Jumbo Bucks." It works like "Cash Money," except you get four numbers instead of two and have to match them (in a bigger pool of numbers).

If you're really willing to spend, the best $10 ticket is "Super Cash." Like "Cash Money" and "Jumbo Bucks" you get six numbers and match them in a pool. The best $20 ticket is called "Fabulous Fortune." It's a big ticket with different games on it: three-like-amounts, match-in-a-row, pool-of-numbers, etc. There are two different $30tickets, but they both have to same odds.

This list changes every two weeks or so, and things may be different. So if you ever wanted to know what this list was, check it out because it does come in handy.

Lottery Bible

2011-02-15T02:11:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.51.20
Current Song - Us and Them (Pink Floyd)

Bill and Dorothy, the elderly couple that stops by the gas station each night I'm working, buy a lot of lotto tickets. They choose Pick 3 and 4 numbers on their own, and also use something called a "Lottery Bible." I've seen these things sold in tobacco stores that sell lottery tickets, as well as Chicagoland gas stations owned by Indians.

The Lottery Bible helped Bill win $370.00 last night on the Pick 3.

Each month I take a peek at the Lottery Bible. I jot its numbers down and keep them for future playing. However, I rarely ever find the time and money to play such numbers.

The Lottery Bible also includes lucky Pick 3 and Pick 4 numbers for the month, going by the signs of the Zodiac. Sandwiched between these two numbers is a horoscope. My sign is Taurus, and here's what mine was:

"Entertainment ventures or possible showbiz aims are in the spotlight this month. Sticking to tried and true methods are more likely to create positive results than trying to experiment with unknowns. A loved one might be seeking a second chance."

The month's halfway over. We'll see. And about this "loved one" who might be seeking a second chance? Since I maintain great relationships with every member of family, I guess read my last Blog entry.

So This is Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T03:25:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.41.20
Current Song - What You Won't Do For Love (Bobby Caldwell)

I really haven't done much for Valentine's Day for quite a while. I wrote a small post about it on this Blog last year, and even that was the first time in a long time it even went though my head.

Valentine's Day originally was a biblical event, the origins behind that have become lost in today's hoopla of a big, loud "I LOVE YOU!" to the significant other. As I see this all over Facebook and the customers at work, I can only think about my own trials and tribulations ... as well as the "Cody test," which you'll read about at the end.

It's well documented on here, mainly because there's not much to document other than failure. There was a time I had a special place in my heart for many girls, and over time these entities have fizzled. Right now there is just one left standing, it's long-lasting, and still to this day unpenetrateable.

There were really only a few Valentine's Day moments I can really remember. The first was 13 years ago (fifth grade), the other was ten years ago (eighth grade). We're talking over ten years ago, which makes me REALLY feel old. Of course you know the story of failure after failure after failure after failure after failure after failure.

Although no one is grinding my gears in regards to this, today is the day that it comes to me that I will not give up in finding that certain female.

I may have tried all I could when I was younger, to have it not work by high school graduation. But I am still young, and there is plenty of time left. And I will not give up.

As much as I keep hearing the words "that time will come," I look back and see that time came for everyone else. I can understand this, given how my brain works. But forbidden to feel such a feeling? Never. I will not give up.

Perhaps it takes a great deal of effort for me to please, and when people look at the way I execute such pleasings, it seems to be a little over the top. It isn't like ones from the past, they'll say. But I will not give up.

It's no use trying to pick through the pile. Been there, done that. I can sense the lies and setups. I sensed plenty during my school days, and these attempts by others to embarass me were all thwarted. Don't try that on me. Meanwhile, I will wait, and continue to wait, and hope this day comes soon.

So yes, they still have to pass the "Cody test". Only a few have passed the Cody test, only to fall just short of really working out for a connection. And before I hear girls whine about this, do realize that they too have such "tests" when trying to find men.

Still, with that being said, I will not give up.

Weekly Financial Planning

2011-02-13T04:12:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.31.20
Current Song - Money (Pink Floyd)

After nearly a year, I took my silver to get exchanged for cash. My plan was to get at least a hundred-dollars worth, according to this list from a website. I did that, and went to exchange it at the local exchange shop.

It was kind of dissapointing, but it was mostly my fault. I looked at the wrong list on the internet, so my prize was less than what I thought. I had two Franklin halves, 2 1960s Kennedy halves, five quarters, five war nickels, 20 dimes, 1 Canadian silver quarter, and 1 Canadian silver dime.

The place couldn't take my Kennedy halves because "they are after 1964" despite being a percentage (40%) silver. They also didn't accept anything Canadian.

So I was left with $56.00 in the aftermath of all of this. So much for waiting until hitting $100, and so much for this Internet list! For now on, I'll just keep my silver and exchange it when the year ends. So the second round begins.

***

Still, this was $56.00 more than what I had when the day started. Combine this with a Pick 3 Box winner from Thursday night (6-0-7) of $40.00 and it's a small stimulus. My $100.00 earned from being my gas station's Employee of the Year is still holding up. I used it for a Shell Gift Card for fuel, and I have a full tank and money left on it.

I had car problems for most of last month, and I could only afford one front wheel replacement at the time. So since then I've been driving places with mismatched front tires. Bad idea, I know, but I found out that I can't go higher than 55 MPH without the car vibrating like heck.

I plan on getting this tire put on sometime next week. Because of this, I had to put off a couple of commitments I was planning to cover. Gas money is kind of tight right now, and the hours have shrunk to 25/week.

Plus coming up are the few weeks that get me in a frenzy: winter postseason. A lot of money needs to be put into that. I have already decided to axe the weekend hotel stay. I found out that the extra round-trip costs less than staying overnight at the already-cheap hotel I normally stay at. Plus I can't forget my sticker renewal and a haircut (I really need one).

Ask Me Anything

2011-02-10T05:00:00.000-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.01.20
Current Song - Holding Back the Years (Simply Red)

It's been a Facebook trend for a while, and perhaps an annoying one on the news feed. A few months ago, people were doing this "ask me anything and I'll respond" game on the Facebook news feed. There were several people that liked it, and there were several people that were annoyed by it.

The game went something like this: You'd look at the person's wall and find the last question, in numerical form. Your question would be the next number. If the question above was "84." then mine would be "85."

I think I was annoyed by it at the time. I put my status as "(some long number). No."

However the more I think about it, I think I'd like this. So I'm gonna do it. But I'm not going to flood Facebook walls.

Here's how it goes:

You can ask me any question (or questions) you want about me. Make it anything. Just send me a Facebook message with your question. I'll answer your questions on my Blog. And I'm not going to do these stupid little "yes and no" answers. I'll answer your question(s) with all I have. You'll not only get an answer, but reasons and all that. I won't hide any questions from the blog, either. However, I won't put your name next to the question, unless you want me to.

Here's an example: Why are you doing this "Ask Me Anything" thing?

I'm doing this because I'd like to get to know people better. A lot of people make the remark that I'm always busy all of the time, but in reality there is plenty of time that I'm bored. I get bored when I'm at home watching the television, playing the Wii, or even reading the book. Heck, even when I'm writing in my Blog I feel bored. It's kind of difficult to break out of such a slump, given my mental state, so I figured creating this thing would allow me to open up to all of you. You know more about me, and I kind of know more about you. Provocation is evolution - you can't succeed unless you actually do it.

I'll take questions from now (2/10) until Wednesday (2/16). Thanks for your interest.

Why are you driving? I think I know why ...

2011-02-02T06:28:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.20.20
Current Song - Disco Inferno (The Trammps)

After a useless attempt at shoveling my sidewalks overnight, my sore self laid down in front of Channel 6 and watched the same dang thing over and over again. A trooper called into the station, and couldn't quite understand why people were out driving.

I think I know why.

These people are your everyday employees. They feel pressure put on them by workplace stipulations.

Call off? You're fired.

So these people have no choice other than to get out and defy Mother Nature because they need the money. They need to get to work, or else they will have NO source of income. They need to get to work because they have children to support, and a firing will ruin everything.

It's times like this that workplaces need to be flexible in their rules. No assembly line worker should have to risk his or her life for the benefit of the company he or she doesn't care about (and works there only for the paycheck).

Of course, those that NEED to be out there NEED to be there: your public safety workers, postal carriers, National guardsmen, journalists, etc. While they need to make every effort possible to get to where they need to be, sometimes even they won't be able to get there safely.

Then comes the boss who lays down a punishment. Then you wonder if your boss got to work by using some sort of Star Trek transporter. You explain your case.

Then comes the "I, therefore you" argument. No human is equal to others. Robots may be equal to other robots, but humans are not alike. You explain your case.

"But Punxsutawney Phil came out of his hole, then you should too!"

Then your boss puts his or her personal drama ahead of yours. You explain your case, however, by this time it may be too late for some people. The firing has been doled out because your boss has had enough.

Then you wonder if such people have a soul.

Not only will I be thinking of the people that NEED to be out at this time ...

But I will be thinking of those people that got, or will be getting, screwed over because of workplace policies and the handing of the pinkslip.

(Disclaimer: I have to work at my gas station tonight at 5:00. It's in that gray area between 'public safety profession' and 'artist'. We'll need to be open so that people can fill up their cars - as they are necessities. I live six blocks from work. I should be alright if my neighborhood street is touched by the plows, as well as Route 2 which should be alright by then. And if I can't make it ... it'll only be my second call-off in two-and-a-half years on the job.)

Baseball Cards

2011-02-01T21:52:00.005-06:00

Cutter's Log - Supplemental

I figured out an estimate on the value of all of the baseball cards I've collected over the past 21 years - at ~ $3,000.00. This is using Beckett "lo value" pricing as of 2007.

To put that in perspective, the most coveted Albert Pujols rookie card is worth $4,000.00 in mint condition.

I have also estimated that I have at least 31,000 baseball cards collected. There are also another 5,000 other cards of basketball, football, racing and hockey combined.

I made the decision last year to semi-retire from baseball card collecting. After I made that decision, I made a long trip to places around the Quad Cities to find some good buys. Turns out it wasn't worth the effort.

I'm now selling one-third of my collection. Most of it comes in big boxes that I have planned for the "Chinese Democracy-ish" Yard Sale I plan on having. There are several other singles I have in a small binder for individual sale.

HERE IS A LIST OF WHAT'S FOR SALE, from past blog entries.

Below is a list of the individual cards (mixed sports) I have for sale, in that binder:

2010 Topps Turkey Red - Ernie Banks - $1.50
1989 Donruss - Craig Biggio (rookie) - $2.00
1989 Topps - Craig Biggio (rookie) - $2.00
1991 Ultra - Barry Bonds - $1.25
1995 Emotion - Barry Bonds - $2.00
1997 Bowman Chrome International - Barry Bonds - $8.00
1997 Bowman's Best - Barry Bonds - $2.50
1997 Topps Tek - Barry Bonds - $4.00
2001 Stadium Club - Barry Bonds - $1.50
2003 Bowman's Best - Barry Bonds - $3.00
2007 Topps Bonds Home Run History - Barry Bonds - $1.00
2008 Upper Deck Retrospectum Swatches - Marcus Giles - $5.00
2010 Topps Peak Performance - Honus Wagner - $1.50
2010 Topps Opening Day Attax - Evan Longoria - $3.00
2010 Topps Opening Day Blue - Nick Swisher - $1.00
2010 Upper Deck Biography - Justin Verlander - $1.50
2010 Topps - Ryan Braun/Prince Fielder - $1.00
2010 Topps Attax Code Card - Ichiro Suzuki - $3.00
2010 Topps Attax Silver Foil - David Wright - $3.00
1984 Donruss - Tony Fernandez (rookie) - $1.50
1992 Topps - Shawn Green (rookie) - $1.00
1989 Fleer - John Smoltz (rookie) - $1.50
1986 Fleer Update - Will Clark (rookie) - $2.00
1995 Collector's Choice SE - Cal Ripken - $2.00
1998 Score Rookie/Traded - Cal Ripken - $2.00
1997 Topps Tek - Tony Gwynn - $1.25
1987 Topps - Mark McGwire - $3.00
1989 Upper Deck - Cal Ripken - $2.50
1990 Leaf - David Justice (rookie) - $2.50
1992 Stadium Club USA - Shawn Green (rookie) - $1.25
2000 Fleer Gamers - Tony Gwynn - $1.00
2000 Upper Deck All-UD - Derek Jeter - $1.00
1987 Fleer Stickers - Nolan Ryan - $1.00
1989 Donruss Traded - Nolan Ryan - $1.25
1987 Topps - Jose Canseco - $1.00
1992 Donruss - Nolan Ryan - $1.00 (I've got 3)
1991 Ultra Gold - Bo Jackson - $1.00
1991 Ultra - Don Mattingly - $1.00
1987 Topps - Rafael Palmerio - $1.25
1989 Bowman Reprints - Mickey Mantle - $1.00
1984 Topps - Andy Van Slyke - $1.25
1991 Ultra - Cal Ripken - $1.25
1978 Topps - Willie Hernandez (rookie) - $1.00
2009 Bowman Chrome refractor - Alfonso Soriano - $2.00
2007 Topps Opening Day - Ichiro Suzuki - $1.00
2007 Fleer - Ryan Howard - $1.00
2007 Fleer Crowning Achievement - Tom Glavine - $1.00
1990 Upper Deck - Randy Johnson - $1.00
2006 Topps Mantle - Mickey Mantle - $2.00
2009 Topps Chrome X-Fractor - Nick Swisher - $2.00
2010 Topps 20-20 - David Wright - $2.00
1995 Flair - Brad Radke (rookie) - $1.00
2010 Topps Turkey Red - Lou Gehrig - $3.00
2010 Topps - Eddie Matthews - $20.00
2010 Topps - Babe Ruth/Lou Gehrig - $2.00
2010 Topps Vintage Legends - Reggie Jackson - $1.00
2010 Topps Attax Code Card - Ian Kinsley - $1.00
2010 Topps Attax Code Card - Alex Rodriguez - $2.50

FOOTBALL:

1998 Bowman's Best - Drew Bledsoe - $1.50
1999 Playoff Prestige - Tim Brown - $1.00
1995 Upper Deck Stick'ems - Brett Favre - $3.00
1995 Collector's Choice Update - Brett Favre - $1.00
1996 Collector's Choice - Brett Favre - $2.00
1991 Pro Set - Ed McCaffery (rookie) - $2.00
1997 Skybox NFL Experience - Jerry Rice - $1.00
1999 Playoff Prestige - Jerry Rice - $1.00
1996 Select Certified - Deion Sanders - $1.00
1996 Collector's Edge Pres. Reserve - Junior Seau - $1.00
1991 Pro Set special - Emmitt Smith - $1.50
1995 Bowman's Best - Emmitt Smith - $3.00
1991 Pro Set - Ricky Watters (rookie) - $1.25
1999 Aurora - Steve Young - $1.00

BASKETBALL

1996-97 Topps - Steve Nash (rookie) - $1.25 (I have 2)
1998-99 Skybox Premium - Shaquille O'Neal - $1.25
1994-95 Flair Personal Note - Shaquille O'Neal - $1.00

***Or you can have the whole binder, which also includes several $0.25 cards, for $200.00.

Blizzards

2011-02-01T16:34:00.002-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.10.20
Current Song - the sounds of winter, or war

This isn't Egypt.

When Money is Tight

2011-01-31T22:33:00.003-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.13.10
Current Song - Lonesome Loser (Little River Band)

The economy has hit us all in some way. My hit has come direct from the source of income, work. It's in the form of hours worked. Less hours - less pay.

I've already found ways to cut website costs, but haven't really found ways to cut overall costs. I pretty much live paycheck-to-paycheck, which is something I'm not proud of but it'll have to do.

Whenever I find myself doing nothing simply because I can't afford it, there is a book on my bookshelf that I zip through: "365 Ways to Live Cheap" by Trent Hamm, publisher of thesimpledollar.com.

Yesterday I found myself going through this 225-page book trying to find tips in order to cut costs. Most of these ways are far-fetched ways ("Find Frugal Friends," "Attend Community Events," etc.). However there are some tips that I could start doing in order to save that extra dollar.

These were stemmed from tips in this book (and I will follow this with stuff I came up with as an indirect result of the book [the not-really-stealing-ideas type]):

1. Clean out my trunk. Thinking to my trunk, I have a few old car stereos (as unpaid collateral, sigh), some empty boxes, a folding chair for outside sports events, and a few more odds and ends. I don't know whether I really need this stuff, so out they will go. Cleaning out my trunk reduces the drag, and increases the gas mileage. I guess losing weight will help in this regard, too.

2. Divy a portion of my weekly paycheck to my savings account. When an enexpcted shortfall comes, the source of that money is my savings account. There is a certain amount I would not like to go under, but eventually I go under it when needed. I step foot in my bank about once a month, so I'll just set aside four checks and go once a month rather than making the extra errand.

3. The whole yard sale thing. I've blogged about it over and over again, and still can't find the time to put one up. Part of that problem is pricing everything. Perhaps when the weather is nice, I'll give items a certain pricing range: this stuff for five cents, this stuff for 0.25, 0.50, 1.00, etc. That may eliminate some of the time, and maybe I'll get this set up finally.

4. Motivational photos - I have tried this a couple of times, but with no luck. I once took a fast-food receipt and wrote "NO MORE" in black marker and taped it next to my speedometer. Didn't last. Time to find an image, be that of my family or a specific someone, and look at that before shopping.

5. Go the the library for similar books like "365 Ways." It doesn't cost anything. Plus I can add to this list. (Don't be surprised if this is a reoccuring topic).

6. Designate books for swapping. I have a bookshelf, but I also have books that are on top of the shelved books, and an overflow pile next to it. Some of these books I do not read anymore. Perhaps while I'm at the library, I can trade some of these for others that interest me. However, when was the last time a book at a swap-shelf interested you?

7. Pop for water. Yeah, best of luck with that! Turns out that drinking water will keep one's stomach occupied when it comes to finding something to eat. I have a pop cooler that I keep in my room that is quickly accesible from my computer, rather than going downstairs to the fridge. This cooler is small enough to take with me on trips. Often times, there is water on sale at a store cheaper than pop, and there is more water than pop in the process.

Going back to point No. 4, would a water label next to the motivational photo help? Perhaps. There are also places that sell water in the same soda fountain for a discounted price.

8. Typing these things in the blog. Provokes discussion, and therefore more ideas (HINT HINT!).

9. Coupons. They have pros, but there are cons involved in them as well. When I work Sunday nights at the gas station (maybe twice a month), I save coupons from the SV Weekend, Tribune, Dispatch, Register Star and QC Times. HOWEVER, I ONLY save such coupons of things that I purchase on a normal basis. There was one time that I cut out coupons of cool and interesting things and spent the money on these truly one-off things. Wasn't a good idea.

In my coat pocket are coupons for Steak 'N Shake. When I travel to a metro area such as Rockford, the Quads, Peoria, Madison or the suburbs, I will almost always have dinner on the road. More times than not, the meal usually comes from a drive-thru window. However, a place like Steak 'N Shake is one where not only I can get a discount on a meal, but also sit down and tally up my sports stats.

10. Eating breakfast. Breakfast is one of those things that sort of gets old by the time you turn 15 years of age. Then when you're 30 and have kids, you regret skipping out. While I don't have kids, yet, getting back into the breakfast slate of things helps fill the stomach when it's supposed to be filled.

11. Coupons.com - The first time I went there, there wasn't anything that I wanted, or needed. I never know now, perhaps when my things-needed list gets full, it's time to visit the website.

12. Comparison shopping. As mentioned, I go to Wal-Mart for my things. I know its cheap there; but when the things-needed list list just consists of food, I should remind myself that there are a few other grocery stores in town. However, this may not happen as often as you'd think. When the things-needed list gets full, it is often a mix of food and other items. These other things, such as pens and paper, are more expensive at grocery stores compared to Wal-Mart.

13. Shop local. There were times that I went the extra mile (or 75) to get something for the extra meaning. I once went to Wisconsin to get Wisconsin cheese, only to find out there is Wisconsin cheese back home. There have been some Christmas items that were available back home that I went far away to get. However, when the certain something I know for sure is far away, I'll go get it.

---

So these above are from the book.

Here are things that I came up with on my own that I already do to save money, and even time, as well as killing two birds with one stone.

1. I don't get stamps at the post office. Instead, I'll get my stamps at Wal-Mart, while I'm shopping, in order to save a trip. It's the same price at Wal-Mart as the P.O.

2. Set aside a certain time to do every single errand. I call it running errands. When I do this, I map out all of the places I need to go and go to them in order of location. And rather than making four or five trips to places at four or five certain times, I try to bunch everything in one.

3. Collect silver. Silver is a hot commodity right now, and there are times you'll find it in cash registers. I know whenever I find silver when working, I'll trade it with something in my car container. I have a certain amount that I'd like to achieve before cashing it all in.

4. Bring small treats to the games I cover. This may seem like a knock on our high school booster clubs, but some things are overpriced. How do I know? I've been to enough high schools and eaten from enough concession stands to know the reasonable rates.

5. Fill up the things-needed list. I don't require much shopping, beings I live with my parents, but sometimes there are things I need to get on my own. Rather than going somewhere to get the one thing when I need it, I have five spots on my things-needed list. When these five spots are filled, only then do I go out.

6. Try not to gloat about being cheap. This is a long blog entry, yes, but it's not like I'm trying to cram something down your throat. I can see the future: taking my girlfriend home, living in a dump, but saying I'm proud to be cheap. That's not what I want to be. Every once in a while I'll get that hot item, or spend something for an entertainment purpose.

I think it's like saying: I'm not trying to be a tightwad for the purpose of being a tightwad, but rather making these things apply AS common sense.

The comment section is open, folks. Thoughts? Ideas?

Social Shutdown

2011-01-30T05:38:00.001-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.03.10
Current Song – Subdivisions (Rush)

I experienced yet another episode of “social shutdown” recently. Social shutdown is what I call it when a conversation abruptly ends. That happens a lot with me when talking with people from school.

Why? I simply run out of things to say.

“Hi Cody, what's up?”

“Oh, not much.”

That's the conversation. How do I try to extend it after “not much”? I have tried to say something like “Oh, not much. You?” Then I get the response, whatever it is. Then I run out of things to say again.

It's not just verbally, too. It extends to social networking: way back when on ICQ and now on Facebook.

Perhaps it is best that I try to build off of the person's response to my question “You?” But what, and how do I find this in my mixed bag of things to say? Why can't I find something truthful to say? Social shutdown begins.

I have overheard conversations that continue forward after the introductory “what's up” with the mentioning of some sort of factual data of that person. But what do I say? The time it takes for me to come up with that bit of information is a turn-off. Social shutdown begins.

I don't know the best way to tackle this. Is there a list of sample questions to help continue the conversation? I don't know. A little help here?

Once I find this out, I think I can tailor the right question to the right person.

So I tried to find these questions – and then, out of nowhere, my imagination showed that I seem dull asking question after question after question after question after question after question. I'm not supposed to be conducting an interview, that's my sports job! However, interviewing has been my only means of communication to people that I do not know. So that seems to carry over to people I haven't seen in a while.

Now, how to prevent a conversation from turning into an interview.

Listening skills. I've been a very poor listener, and get distracted very easily. This is probably another trait of journalism, as my goal is to get quotes and not really talk to the person. Note to self: This is probably why the quotes in my stories are SO dull.

I have to listen more to what the person has to say. I do so with a smile, if you don't know by now. So I kind of get it now – I'm a poor conversationalist because I am a poor listener.

Now, to help the listening skills.

I have found in broken conversions I've had in the past that I converse the best when I'm talking to a single person in a room that only has the two of us. This does not happen often, however, and when it does it's a slow day at Shell. I have noticed that late at night when I'm calling one of my writers up about a story that the conversation seems to branch away from work. When this happens, I'm usually all alone in my room, or in my den; either way with nothing else on my mind.

Also I have found that I seem to converse more when I'm in the car with someone else on a long trip. Hasn't happened all that often, however. There will be one in a couple of weeks, though, as a high school sports friend and I are riding down to Riverton (near Springfield) for a basketball event.

So I guess I converse best and listen more when (1) I'm all alone by myself or with one other person in a room, and (2) there is nothing else going on in my mind.

This is actually part of my daily routine, it seems like. It happens right before I go to bed, or right before I take a nap. They are great times to catch me. And after such conversations happen more often, wouldn't I be able to chip away at the distractions and social shutdowns?

Late at night is my downtime: usually from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. Catch me if you can. Phone number is on the website somewhere.

Meanwhile, I'll spend the rest of the night staring blankly into space for the hundred-millionth time.

Hall of Fame

2011-01-28T17:09:00.005-06:00

Cutter's Log - Stardate 1102.92.10
Current Song - Something About You (Level 42)

Tonight is the night where the 2001-02 Sterling HS Girls Basketball team and Wrestling team are inducted into the SHS Athletic Hall of Fame.

As well as two individuals - Amee Binder and Taylor Carbaugh - that were on that girls basketball team that I was a part of. Lynn Siemert, one of the best swimmers in SHS history, was inducted as well.

A lot of memories should re-enter my head from the girls basketball season. I still have the letter from coach Scheidegger asking me if I want to be the manager of that year's team. I kept it after all these years because it would be a stepping stone for the career I have today as a high school sports journalist.

We started the year winning the New-Mor-Roc-Ster Tournament by going undefeated. I still have the medal somewhere in my boxes; I remember being called down from the camera area at Rock Falls to get it. I didn't know managers got such medals. Coach told me to tape the medal ceremony, whether or not he planned on tricking me into taping my own reception I don't know.

I was a very shy person at the time, I still am but was a lot shyer at that time, so I kind of didn't interact as much amongst the girls as they did themselves. Plus, they were older than I was. However, this was a group that I liked a lot because they were very kind to me despite my shyness and youth. I think this all worked out well during that year's Valentine's Day when I decided to make a hefty donation to the Student Council, in the form of $23.00, to send roses to every member of the team.

I remember some of the tough games we had as well. The Sterling Christmas Tournament was just as tough then as it is today. We took third place at the Dixon Tournament a couple of weeks later, and I remember the trophy being one of the biggest I've ever seen. That was a third-place trophy! I think I was in charge of caring for it on the ride back home and nearly hit the top of it on the top of the bus. Whoops!

Galesburg was always a tough opponent, and was one of our few losses on the year. During games, I was in charge of videotaping the games. Galesburg was a huge nosebleed up, and the hardest place to tape at. Guilford, too, was a nosebleed at the top.

The trip up to Guilford was an interesting one, because there was construction on Alpine Road at the time. I suggested an alternative route, and coach was sort of worrked that we were not going to make it to the game in time. When we got there, I remember some of the girls on the bus seeing someone taller than even JP Shore. A black kid. The rest can be figured out from there.

Anyway, back to positive memories. We played Chicago Mother McAuley at the Amboy Shootout. I remember seeing the words "Mother McAuley" on the schedule, and thinking there is some nun that is really good at playing basketball. I've come a long way in high school sports knowledge. We won that game, and the videotaping setup was weird. I was once again in charge of the plaque on the busride home.

As appreciation for the roses, the girls all gave me a gift bag and signed a card for me. To my dismay, I couldn't remember which game this was. Another game that I just can't seem to remember the who and when, but I was invited over to Kim's house for a postgame gathering.

We hosted the Regional, which we won, and I still have a piece of the net that was cut down. Also in the collection is the piece of net from the Conference win. We beat Sycamore for the Regional title, and I remember seeing a letter from the Sycamore program wishing us well in the Sectional, which was held in DeKalb.

Our first game in the Sectional was against Geneseo, and I remember a familiar chant from the Geneseo student section: 55-0! That was the final score of the infamous football game between the two of us earlier in the year. We beat Geneseo, and it was on to face Moline, a team we lost to in our Christmas Tournament. It ended up being close in the end, but I remember a couple of foul calls (against Amee and Amy) that didn't look right toward the end. We lost that game, and that was the end of our wonderful season.

Certainly a season I won't forget.

It was a great time to be a Golden Warrior: not only with our season, but with the Wrestling team advancing to the Elite 8 as a team, and James Wike doing his thing in the pool. Don't forget, this was before the "S-and-the-dreamcatcher" period. It seemed like things changed after that. I can't explain the feeling to a whole, but there's something I miss about it, and something that I like about it.

The program was just starting to rise from the ashes of a once great program of the 1970s and 1980s. This particular season (2001-02) was the one that put us back on the map of top programs in the state. It's carried on to this day, and a lot of that has to do with something that gets overlooked by most people regarding Sterling Girls Basketball of that year: our sophomore team went a perfect 26-0. That led to even more success over the next few years, eventually going back to the Class AA State Tournament in 2007.

(This year's team just handed DeKalb its second loss of the year on Saturday (Jan. 29), so perhaps we could see something even more special?)

It felt a little empty during my senior year when I was the only person from that team left at Sterling High. I was the last student link to two other varsity programs (football and volleyball) my senior year. I was still with the people I grew up with, but I really missed those fellow teammates from those years. Two of the seniors I would never see again until our reunion. There are still a few of the girls that I see every now and then.

Me? Well, I eventually moved out of the managerial capacity during my junior year. I was doing more videotaping for Prep Sports Online at that time, as well as occasional scorebook and even announcing (!!!) To think Coach Scheidegger would let me and my nasely voice do that ... well, I enjoyed that too. I wonder if the girls still have the PSO highlight video DVD of that year. That's my cinematography on it. I eventually moved on to the Daily Gazette and wrote for them for a little while before starting Northern Illinois Sports Beat, the website I have to this day. Running that eventually ended my tenure with the program, but I ended up covering a couple of their games.

However, when I think of where I'm at now as a high school sports journalist, a lot of this had to do with the 2001-02 Girls Basketball team. To most of these girls, I was just some little manager wanting to be a part of a team. I don't think some of them remembered who I was until we were announced at the ceremony. However, these girls have a special place in my heart nonetheless.

It's good to see that the girls are doing well in their current endeavors. I just wish I would have talked to them a little more that night, as my social skills have diminished a lot since 01-02. I always wish them the best with whatever they do.

Love 'ya always!